• Published 26th Mar 2012
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Homewarming (And Other Silly Stories) - BrassHeart

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Innocence

Story the Second:

Innocence



If you were to ask Cheerilee what her least favorite part of being a teacher was, her answer would be instantaneous.

The innocence.

Cheerilee loved her students dearly. They were so full of life, of the desire to learn. The children hung off her every word. It warmed her heart more than a thousand fires ever could.

She loved their innocence, yet she hated them for it. Because she knew what students who had lost their childlike innocence were like.

You see, when Cheerilee was first starting out as a teacher, she taught a class of teenagers at a school in Baltimare. It was miserable.

Every day, it took her fifteen minutes of class time to get the students to pay attention long enough to take attendance. When class finally started, she quickly lost the attention of the students with no hope of ever getting it back. The air was always heavy with the sound of chewing gum, or of small cliques gossiping about their classmates. Cheerilee couldn't draw a straight line on the board without the colts in the class giggling at the implications.

After the longest two weeks of Cheerilee's life, she learned that Ponyville's aging elementary school teacher had retired. Seeing a perfect opportunity, Cheerilee quit her job in Baltimare and returned home to Ponyville to take over the retired teacher's job. And so, Cheerilee started teaching younger, less troublesome students. And she couldn't be happier.

Except for the innocence.

The innocence of foals running around the playground with no destination in mind, their laughter genuine and welcoming. The innocence of colts hunting through the grass to find weird bugs, and then inevitably chasing the fillies with them. The innocence of a little filly putting a shiny red apple on her teacher's desk in the morning.

The same innocence that Cheerilee would be forced to tear from them in one morning, when she had to teach her students one of the most important lessons she could.

Cheerilee stood behind her desk, looking over her class. Apple Bloom, Scootaloo, and Sweetie Belle were discussing their plans for after school, likely more crusading for their cutie marks. And it looked like they were talking to Twist, as well. It was good. It was innocent. The colts in the class, Snips, Snails, Chowder, and the class's newest student, Pipsqueak, were planning their own future adventures, and Cheerilee overheard them saying something about a camping trip. It was innocent. Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon...

...The less said about them, the better.

"Settle down, class," Cheerilee said. All conversation instantly ceased, and all the students paid her full attention. Like good students.

Good, innocent students.

'You can do this, Cheerilee,' She told herself. 'You have to do this.'

"We are having a very... very special lesson today," Cheerilee said. A yellow hoof was raised. "Yes, Apple Bloom?" Thank the Princesses. A distraction.

"Is this goin' t' be about cutie marks again?" Apple Bloom asked.

"No, it's about something much more important than that," Cheerilee said. "You see, you are all very mature ponies..."

'I don't want you to be mature. Don't be so mature. I want my little ponies.'

"...So we are going to be learning about..."

'The colts will never be able to look at me the same way. Every time I turn around to write something on the board, they'll start giggling.'

"We are going to be learning about..."

'Don't say it. DON'T SAY IT.'

"Where b-babies come from."

'Noooo!'

The class visibly perked up. They were about to have the answer to the question that they had always been asking.

Cheerilee had their attention. And she did not want it.

"Now, it all starts with a mare and a stallion," Cheerilee said, motioning to the drawings on the board with her pointer.

'There's no turning back. I have to teach them.'

"When a..."

'I have to teach them. But I do not want to.'

"When a mare and a stallion love each other very much, they..."

"Ooh! Ooh!" A yellow hoof was waving in the air.

'YES.'

"Apple Bloom?"

"They have sleepovers!"

'What.'

"I... I beg your pardon?" Cheerilee said. "Sleepovers?"

"Yeah! Mah brother has 'em with his marefriend all th' time!"

'Whaaaaat.'

"...Yes, Apple Bloom, that's right. They have... sleepovers."

'What am I doing.'

"Does that mean that Fluttershy and Big Mac are gonna have a baby?" Sweetie Belle asked.

"Wait, we had a sleepover last weekend. Does that mean we're having a baby?" Scootaloo asked.

'Misunderstandings detected! Abort! Abort!'

"No, no, no. The mare and the stallion... and it has to be a mare and a stallion... have to both love each other very much and want to have a baby," Cheerilee corrected herself. Twist raised her hoof. "Yes, Twist?"

"Doeth that mean that Auntie Bon-bon and Auntie Lyra can't have a baby?"

'Crap.'

"That's... a subject for another day. Now, when a mare and a stallion love each other very much, and they want to have a baby, they have a sleepover and..."

Scootaloo raised her hoof.

'This can either go very well or very badly.'

"Scootaloo?"

"They go out to the shed?"

Cheerilee heard something crack. It might have been her mind.

"What," Cheerilee said.

"When I asked my mom where Dinky came from, she said, 'Your father and I went into the shed...', but then my dad shoved a muffin in her mouth," Scootaloo said. "By the time she finished chewing, she'd forgotten what we were talking about."

'I don't even want to think about that.'

"...Yes. That's right."

'Cheerilee, you are an absolute moron.'

"When a mare and a stallion love each other very much, they have a sleepover, then they... they go into the shed and..."

'Stop beating around the bush already.'

"And... and they..."

A white hoof was raised.

'I'm not going to enjoy this.'

"Sweetie Belle?" Cheerilee asked. She braced herself for impact. Sweetie Belle was a good filly, even if she was just slightly dim. But she spent a lot of time with her big sister, so the chances that she had heard something from Rarity were high.

"They write a letter to Princess Celestia!"

Cheerilee nearly fainted when she saw it. An escape route. Sweetie Belle had just opened up a way for her to very easily escape this accursed lesson. It would be easy.

But should she?

Would it be right for her to rob her students of this knowledge for her own benefit?

"I think the teacher's broken," Silver Spoon remarked. Cheerilee realized that she had been standing there, frozen, for almost twenty seconds.

'Pull yourself together, Cheerilee,' A new voice in her head ordered. It was a strong voice, a voice that could be kind at one moment, but tough a second later. The voice that told ponies what they needed to hear, even if they didn't want to. It taught the hard lessons, no matter the cost. The voice of the Teacher. 'It is your duty to give these children the knowledge they need to be strong adults. They must learn it.'

'But I don't want to teach them this...' Cheerilee thought. 'I don't want to lose them.'

'No teacher does. But every child must become an adult. Every puppy must become a dog. The baby bird must one day leave the nest. It is a fact of life.'

'They're so young...'

'Maybe. But this is a lesson they must learn.'

"...Actually..."

'That's a good girl. You can do it.'

"The truth of the matter is..."

'Stop stalling.'

"...You're right."

'Oh, you idiot, Cheerilee.'

"When a mare and a stallion love each other very much, they have a sleepover, then they go out into the shed, and then they write a letter to Princess Celestia asking for a baby," Cheerilee answered. "And that, my little ponies, is how babies are made."

"Wait, they write the letter in the shed?" Scootaloo asked.

"What if they don't have a shed?"

"Time for recess!" Cheerilee announced.

"But it'th only..."

"Re-ceeeesssss!"

The students gave a happy cheer.

An innocent, happy cheer.

'Oh well,' Cheerilee thought. 'I'll tell them some other time.'

'That is exactly what you said last time you tried to tell them.'

'Hush. You're not my mother.'


A/N: If you can guess who Scootaloo's mother is from this, you will* get a cookie. If you can also guess who her father is, you will* get another cookie. If you can also tell me what piece of fan art I got the idea from, you will* get a third cookie.







*not