James is your everyday, average Joe. Then he wakes up in a world where the dominant species is technicolor dwarf horses, and humans are nothing but beasts. He is soon sold to a shady looking pony, who brings him to the human fights arena. There, he discovers his new power:pyrokinesis. Needless to say, he wins his fights.
Note:this is a non-cannon "Your Human and You" story. The original is a very nice story by MadMaxtheBlack.
Page generated in 0.109 seconds
Total duration
911 users online
680,460 hits today, 2,814,898 yesterday
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
I will wait a week and a half for an update. sorry for the short time for a wait, but it is less than 2k words...
Still, good first chapter.
As a great Ent once said, "don't be hasty."
Your story reads like a summary, and suffers greatly for it.
3888766 can you specify a bit?
3902884 Agreed, it doesn't paint a very pretty picture at all. It's like a Jackson Polluk, simply achieved and with little to no effort. Don't get me wrong though, Polluk did rock out loud, I'm just using him as an analogy.
Okay, I'm caught up and I'm in agreement with The Snide Sniper here, you rushed this too much. You description of the battle is brief and image less. What did the arena look like? What did the opponent look like?
Description is key. The more imagery you give us, the more enthralled we become. Despite that, you're doing great. I am a little puzzled by the slightly nonchalant attitude the announcer has toward you human character's hesitation at killing. Any sort of hesitation, or look of acknowledgement from a human could be interpreted as intelligence. I would think he'd be more shocked or flabbergasted than talkative. Then again, announcers are known to be able to think on the fly. Either way, it works. Well done.
3903873 thanks.
When will there be a update?
Is this dead? Or is it going through some major editing, while the author works ahead? Or has life caught up, and it's on the longest hiatus ever?
AHAHAHAHAH MORE VIOLENCE IM GOING TO EAT YOUR BABIES AHAHAHA
[youtube=H7BjUUv10ko]
[youtube=H7BjUUv10ko]
Remind me to bring my machete and spare clothes whenever I go there.
That's grimdark... How'd he go feral so fast?