Feral Pony
Joined 18th Aug, 2013 ·
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I am displeased this had 1 view and 5 dislikes. Where's the sense in that?!
Anyway, I thought it was a decent start, and will be looking for more!
3839376 Why Thank you. It means alot coming from you. It hurts alot more than it should considering I have gotten zero feedback on what I can improve upon.
3839384 I have a feeling some people just down vote whenever the see the human tag, which is rather a dick move to do.
That, or some people are getting annoyed with all the Your Human and You stories that are coming out.
Either way, I looked forward to seeing where you will take this.
TOO FAST!!!
Alone in this Chapter you landed in the Gryphon land, in a, lets say it, human-meat-factory, get through torture by griffins and then landed as a pet by the side of the griffin princess.
Take your time to write chapters and explain some things a bit more.
I will still give you a thumb up for courage for not using the typicall "mane six" Story.
3839399
Great Thanks for the feedback!
I will add in additional content in chapter one. I haev the big time gap To work with so shouldn`t be a problem. Thanks again for feedback.
3839448 No problem. When the additional content is good, I give you a favorite. Promise!
3839392 Oh come now, we only have 11 stories now. (At the current rate of 2 new stories a week
)
3839392
Thats pretty normal here. Every story with a human tag will get downvotes.
It seems alright so far. Nothing exactly exemplary, but definitely not bad. I'll fave for now, but I'm watching you buster...
3839772 15 spin-offs at the moment
2 days, 4 more stories... IT'S GROWING EXPONENTIALLY! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!
3845366 ill keep that in mind. ;-)
Look at the blog post guys and girls if you want any information related to the re-release of the first chapter.
I don't know I kind of preferred the first version. Plus you need a bit of editing here I think.
If you need an editor, I can help with that.
M... nice one. A bit short
Well, this is a good story line too. (you should keep the original anyways cause I thought it was pretty interesting)
3925749
It went to quick. Withing about 3000 words we were already at the Princess. which is pretty bad pacing In my humble opinion. I think showing what Victor is experienceing in the facility is worth mentioning too. Gives more story content to write about too
3925744
Yeah a bit on the short side. I really wanted to reach 10 K words. But I am having a test on thursday and I won`t have time to write for at least 3 or 4 more days so I wanted to get this one out to you guys. Can you forgive me
3925796 I agree with this expansion of the story. Kinda interested in the Alpha arch since well females are literally laying before him while he did next to nothing lol. mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw2885-I_Aint_Even_Mad.jpg
3925801
YOU ARE FORGIVEN CHILD (*high and mighty sound of god*)
it's not that it was bad, just short... we have the "alpha" part then... i don't want to die, i am not an animal, i'm a human (smart human)... save me.
you get a huge up vote from my for taking the whole story and this verse to the griffon side and not pony
p.s.
good luck in the exam
I must say, I like this alot more as the first version. I hope there will be more to rtead in the (very) near future.
3941265 Working on chapter 3. Gotta warn you tough, this feels like the worst/ most boring chapter / (most poorly written but can't help it) yet. So i think i will try to make 2 chapter release to make up for it. No promises though!!! Thank you though for the compliment.
Very good!
Besides several spelling errors (i assume your trying to say "though" or "thought" instead of "tough") this was a pretty good chapter.
Out of curiosity what fighting style does Victor know, if any?
I'll be whatching. myehehehe
3954269 No fighting style. he just improvised and with what he tought would knock him out. So it was just a brawl really,
well if you need help with ideas I could help, but don't ask me how to write cause well, I can't lol
Please get an editor. And if you won't at least start spelling "stupide" the right way ("stupid". No "e").
It's been three chapters. I don't care if English is your second language, just please get an editor.
I think the word you were looking for was "Skinny", not Skimpy. Skimpy implies that you are wearing revealing clothing. Not that you're underweight.
3962235 working on it now =)
D'aaaw, it's like reading about two siblings fighting when victor and Elpis jibe on each other, I'm really curious about Elpis's home status now. I hope she isn't being physically or emotionally abused or something. Keep it up!
Looking forward to more.
Keep up the good work. Deus tecum.
I've read all three chapters, and it intrigued me enough to favorite it. I'll also add that you need to get someone to go through it and pick out every incorrect use of "tough." It's easy enough to figure out what you're saying, but it's so consistent that it's actually kinda irksome.
3968766 Thanks for telling me. I will try to improve my writing some more, but that must come over time since im relatively new to writing stories still. Thanks for feedback, I am currently trying to get an editor to look through my story.
Very nice, i like the idea of the Classic "human in Equestria but is considerd a beast of burden" storyline from the Gryphons perspective.
ok why does everyone get this wrong. the right word is sentient not sapiens. sapiens refers to the human scientific name "homo sapiens". sentient means we are intelligent. I'm not trying to be mean but everyone seems to get this messed up.
4004287 That is actually not true. Sentinent refers to being alive, meaning you have the ability to breathe, feel emotion, follow instincs and small consepts like those. Sapien however means "wise" meaning one can think beyond the instict and emotion an can lay plans, think out theories, and other things that needs high intelligence.
long story short; sentinent means simply alive with simple needs and feelings while sapien means smart individual whom can think of complex ideas.
And no, sapien dosen't only work with homo sapien. If i say "Castor canadesis sapien" i say Wise bever or bever with a somewhat human intellect.
sorry for any typos, writing on my phone.
Now we get to the meat of the story. Looking forward to more.
Keep up the good work. Deus tecum.
Man, he will get his ass handed to him for taking that cushion.
Good work bruh /)
hummmm
hummm
hummm and good chapter
cool and lovely work look forward to see more soon
I read it all in one go... and love it. Can't wait for the next chapter.
like and fav.
4066221 your avatar comic is funny
4004287 Actually a few different kinds of animals on earth can be considered sentient, I think what the author means is "sapient".
That words are not better as: "What could go wrong?"
I think everyone know the destructive power of this words. My gues is, Discord himself enchanted this words.
Was a nice idea with the Chess Game. And the reaction from Maya was awesome, too
4187148 Great Idea. Changing words now!
4187156 OH MY GOD! What have I done to this poor human? ;P