• Member Since 4th Jan, 2013
  • offline last seen 32 minutes ago

kildeez


I like writing ponies. And violent explosions. For some reason, that's not a problem here.

T

Set right after the events of my other fic, The Chronicles of Swarm (specifically, this chapter ), but reading that isn't entirely necessary.

Cover courtesy of the wonderful nonn-xero-daemon Here.

-----------------------------------------

So hey there. Name's Discord, but you already knew that, didntcha? OI! WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU'RE GOIN'? Didn't you want to hear a story? Yeah, that's right, park your rears right there.

Okay, so once upon a time there was an awesome draconequus who went around being blindingly awesome. One day, a pretty prissy pony princess showed up and was all "Ooh Discord, you're so manly and awesome and I'm so prissy and weak. Could you maybe save the world from an evil demigod bent on domination?" So I...I mean, he was all "whatever, babe" and he went off and beat down all the bad guys. And she was all "Ooh Discord, you're so awesome and manly and if you would just touch me I could die a happy mare." And I was all "Babe, I'll do more than that." And we...I mean, they started kissing, but the stupid lousy no-good evil demigod was all "Woah, Discord you're way too awesome for me man, I'm totally gonna kill your gf." And I was all "NNOOOOOOOO!" And she was all "NNNNOOOOOOOOO!" And he was all "DIIIIIIEEEEEEEE!" And then I threw myself in front of her...

To protect her...

The spirit of chaos protecting the goddess of harmony with his life...

Ugh, y'know what? Why don't I start from the beginning?

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 55 )
Comment posted by Peppy Greyskull deleted Jan 25th, 2014
Comment posted by kildeez deleted Jan 25th, 2014
Comment posted by Peppy Greyskull deleted Jan 25th, 2014
Comment posted by kildeez deleted Jan 25th, 2014
Comment posted by Peppy Greyskull deleted Jan 25th, 2014
Comment posted by kildeez deleted Jan 25th, 2014
Comment posted by Peppy Greyskull deleted Jan 25th, 2014
Comment posted by kildeez deleted Jan 25th, 2014

Okay, how about a comment that doesn't get into some kind of comment war and get deleted? :-)

This was frickin' hilarious. Now mind you, I am not 100% sold on this version of Discord; he really seems to be more of a cross between Discord and Humphrey Bogart than straight-up Discord. But the story is hysterical anyway (what's a few bees between friends?) I do not know why this has so many downvotes except possibly ship hating, which, it says "Dislestia" in the title, so there's really no excuse for not employing don't like, don't read. I particularly liked the notion that Equestria was just a stop for Discord on a multiversal journey of chaos spreading, and that he was actually about to leave when he was sealed by the Elements of Harmony. And that he didn't go insane in prison because he had the ability to astral travel and create a little chaos with carefully placed comments (Discord's greatest power is not his nigh-omnipotence, it's his ability to manipulate others, really.)

3841391 That was lovely, thank you.

Wow this depresses me. This is too good a read to be getting such a depressing amount of dislikes. :applecry:

3841951 I don't get it either. It's like I attract every idiot out there who enjoys just finding random fics and punching dislikes. I'm some sort of jerk magnet, I guess.

3841961 N'aww, don't worry, I'll add this beauty in a bunch of groups. It should pick up speed eventually :heart:

Wow. They must have really missed the mark on their first attempt to kiss. :twilightoops:

Have to say, as a fan of Dislestia, I really love this story. Thanks for doing such great work.

3841973 Thanks for the effort.

3841992 Thank you for reading!

My hands grip her flanks and squeeze, and she gives a sharp intake of breath. “Discord…”

“Celestia…” My snakelike form wraps around her body, and I can feel her quiver with anticipation.

“Oh, Discord!”

“Oh, Celestia!”

“DISCORD!”

“MARSHMALLOW!”

“Wha…” she starts a split-second before a massive, melting, pillow-sized mallow smashes against the side of her face, covering her in sticky white goo. “Ugh, DISCORD!”

Now, this was fucking hilarious! Discord was right, it is the mother of all make out sessions!:rainbowlaugh: And to think that Celestia fake the whole thing with reformation for one and only reason to have a little mischief in her royal chamber? That's spectacular! This fic is creative in most of possible ways and it can truly being considered a nova. I'm not speaking about Canterlot transformation into a pile of waffle, or Celestia's little bdsm session - this images are going to haunt me for awhile. Thank you Good Sir, with the face of Albert Einstein, you made my day.

And it's a shame for this beautiful (in it's own way ofcourse) story to have so many dislikes. Do you hear me, people! SHAME ON YOU FOR THIS!:twilightangry2:

Anyway, even if it is not my busyness, I feel like I ought to give a few advises about your story front page. Please, rewrite this review, it doesn't give even a slightest impression of how cool this story is. You also should probably tag it "Random" for obvious unorthodoxy. And for Chaos sake, change this illustration - it gives off the wrong impression that Discord is crying with BLOOD, and it somehow spoils the mood. Pick over something like this: th07.deviantart.net/fs71/PRE/i/2013/056/6/f/why_celestia_wants_discord_reformed__by_nukarulesthehouse1-d5w6wm2.png

3844337 Well, thank you! I actually had another illustration picked out, but had already asked this artist if I could use theirs and didn't want to be rude. What do you think abou this?

And just so everybody knows, I invite any and all comments and critiques. "This story sux, lololol" and "this story should die in a fire" are NOT critiques. That's being insulting to incite a response. That's trolling, and I will block your ass in a heartbeat.

"I didn't like the pacing here: thought it was too slow" and "You really need to work on the story description," or "Your use of imagery in places is lacking" are all valid critiques, and I will welcome them with open arms.

3844628 Wow! That's at least 195% better that it was before. Good choice. This is exactly what you need.

3847588 Thanks for the advice :pinkiehappy:

Having not read the other... Incredibly long story, I was slightly surprised that I was able to easily follow along.

And then I remember your notice about not needing to read the other one. The power of reading compels us! :twilightsheepish:

Anyways, I'd say this was a nice read; I don't know what was present before with all those comments, but I do have to ask what happened to Discord hardly being able to fend off a pissed Celestia to swooping out the glass window? I mean, I'm guessing time passed and his power came up some more but... Yeah.

This story, oddly enough, would actually fit decently well; I mean, when Discord was freed a second time, he sure did not seem as dangerous as when he first showed up. Not to mention Celestia was like, halfway across the scene by the time he was freed, as if she really didn't think that he would be as big of an issue.

Course, Discord's fantasy... Makes sense. All things considered.

3858063 Thanks for the compliments! And to answer your question...yes. That totally wasn't just lazy writing. That's exactly what I had in mind. Sure. We'll go with that.

Very nice. Funny and romantic in its own ways.

3937239 A-thank you!

Holy Shit. Write more please, this is just too freaking awesome to stop here.

4179618 "A Princess and Her Queen" was supposed to be set after this, but some readers couldn't grasp that, so I've rewritten it to take out some references to this. Still gonna have Dislestia, tho.

Hmm, random, odd, and entertaining. Just the way I like my Dislestia. :pinkiehappy:

4340531 Glad to please!

I'm laughing so hard right now xD
This is true chaos

4472461 As it should be.

I completely lost it at 'Marshmallow'
XD

I like the concept of discord being semi reformed the whole time. since he will never be completely good it isn't in his nature

4872063 Well now, good and evil are all just terms now, aren't they? Is it really evil to simply obey one's nature?

4872313 while I agree that they are term and that in general people aren't good or evil it is the acts that are good or evil and we are defined by are acts. Discord was defined as simply acting self serving inflicting his whims on everyone else and I imagine that he will continue to at least be random which will be counter productive at times so regardless of why he changes his ways. :moustache:

oh man :pinkiehappy:
i just had to read it the fourth time xD
are you going to continue this ? :D
pleeeeeaaaassseee :D
sometime :pinkiehappy:
that would be soooo amazing :twilightsmile:

4983124 Princess and her Queen was originally supposed to be a continuation of this 'verse, but people found that a bit too confusing, so...yeah.

4983415 YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSS
OMG that makes me so happy :D
when is it supposed to arrive?

4985681 no i mean the sequel to this story

4985686 Oh, you misunderstood. That's it.

4985715 yeah i know but i asked if you would write an direct sequel about Discord and Celestia
in a princess and her queen they are just a side paring
and thats why i asked if there will be any time an sequel directly to this
xD
i didnt mean to cunfuse us but i thought as you said
... is the sequel BUT people are confused , SO YEAH
and with that i thought you mean so yeah im gonna write a sequel xDD
sorry xD

4985730 so there is no sequel coming someday ?:ajsleepy:

4985745 Not at the moment. I have demands for sequels and continuations on tons of other stories, this one just isn't that much of a priority :fluttercry:

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