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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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6482832
I HAVEN'T READ A SINGLE CHAPTER OF THIS STORY YET BUT THIS COMMENT MAKES ME WANT TO.
Huh...I honestly like Malice. I know that's weird. She's a ruthless slaver and I hate slavers, but she's rather amiable and reasonable. I'm also glad that killing Copper didn't land Alloy in trouble because all the harshness that was being thrown onto her was a bit tiring after a while. Not bad, but one shouldn't just throw so much angst onto a rather enjoyable character without some good to come out of it. I can't believe I'm thinking this, but maybe she could work for them. {It'd be a changeup to have nice raiders. perhaps Alloy could change them to be better.} Here's hoping Malice doesn't die, but eh, if the plot says so....
I gotta go with Grit's frustration. They were almost there. After everything they went through, I'd blow up like he did but he was able to calm himself and I respect that. Hopefully, everything works out for the both of them.
A most excellent chapter!
Grit has a good point, and booooy, am I glad Alloy decided against using him as a decoy!
Your fic really does well at utilizing the setting at hand and giving us memorable locations usually not seen in largely landlocked FOE fics.
As usual, loved the way you described Alloy's thoughts. She feels alive and relatable as usual,
and Malice is a good, calculating and smart antagonist.
tl;dr: Kudos, you did very well!
Can't wait to read more.
Man, I really don't know what to think of Malice. She seems very ruthless and brutal, but... she's also not entirely wrong. Oof. And what a horrible set of choices for Alloy. I don't know, maybe if Shipper would let her stay. Other than that...
In any case, I'm really liking Malice as a character. She's... interesting. Certainly not the typical cut-and-dry raider. I'll look forward to seeing more of her, even if Alloy doesn't.
A great decision shall soon be made, the question remains, which option will
score the fattest lootI mean, which option will this business savvy mare take after weighing the pros and cons of it.Wow. Awesome chapter.
I kind of like that Grit is more annoyed that Alloy didn't tell him about the coldblooded murder, rather than that she did it at all.
Malice likes to think of herself as reasonable, so do her the courtesy: reason with her. "I just want to stay where I am, with my forge, but you and yours are all welcome to a discount, and I look forward to doing business with you in the future. Thank you and goodbye for now."
6482936
My initial objective when playing Fallout 2 was always to kill all of the slavers and I'm having difficulty seeing past the reactions of whatever aspect of myself lead to that.
Can't wait to read more!!!
Im rather disapointed that Alloy just out right killed Copper, was actually starting to like him too
I can understand why that first scene gave you difficulties. How does one follow up after the conclusion of a character's main quest in an explosive fashion with possible repercussions? I was rather satisfied with the way you handled it, particularly the added emphasis on the silence once Grit sees what happened.
And I thought the fact that Malice had her gang stationed on a war ship was awesome. An already unique kind of villain with a unique kind of evil lair. Ain't the Wasteland grand?
Emotions run high these past few chapters, but I have not seen much of a slip up in the writing of these characters. Wonderful story! I look forward to the next chapter!
Sheesh, Malice is almost as smooth as Red Eye when it comes to talking. I Iike/hate her too. Keep up the good work.
Okay I let these sit for far too long, for a few different reasons. For all of them, and for the delay in getting Chapter 12 out, I'm very sorry. If you want more details on the chapter status, take a peek at my blog post this morning. I was honestly kinda shutting myself out trying to force myself to finish, and then it was taking so long so I didn't want to post without having some good progress to report on Chapter 12, yadda yadda. Cycle resulting in me doing nothing.
But replies are here now, at last, and holy cow I did not expect this chapter to get as positive a response as it did. I really didn't, and it was a wonderful boost to my confidence. I reread these comments so many times (up until the point where I felt bad for not having replied to them) and still get a smile. So thank you, all of you!
6437754
Alas!
6441124
From a purely logical standpoint, yes. But unstable as she was, she made a rash decision, not motivated by business needs.
6443340
Man I doubt that. But I also haven't read Eerie. I need to do that.
6449249
If only that they all could.
6477947
Well I hope you liked Chapter 11! And thank you!
6482832
I know I've talked to you about Ch 11, but thanks again for this. Really.
6482898
I'd be curious to know if it met your expectations!
6482936
I don't think it's that weird at all! Honestly, Malice is a blast to write. I love to run my mouth, same as her, so that helps. And yea, I know we had a lot of just Bad Shit Happening for a while there. Honestly, I was worried people would call it a cop out that Malice wasn't mad (not worried enough to change the story, mind you, but still).
As for Grit, well... I suppose we'll have to see.
6483061
Thank you so much! Honestly, the setting was the second or third thing I thought of when coming up with the story, and it's been fun to use.
6483249
I never did like the "mindless raider" stereotype, which I suppose is no surprise given Malice. It's actually one of the things I'm enjoying with Fallout 4, even if they are still just another enemy to kill. Their banter when I'm sneaking around is, hands-down, the most enjoyable.
But back to this story. Malice knows that a lie can only get you so far, but if you pepper in the truth, even if it's a half truth or a twisted truth, the idea sticks more. She's so much fun to write, though.
6484499
At the time she pulled the trigger... she found herself past an emotional breaking point. Business was a tiny voice in her mind at the time.
6484737
Which will she take indeed!
6487995
Man, this is high praise, especially since Heroes is one of my personal favorites. I'm really pleased I was able to make that emotional connection with you and Alloy. Thank you!
6488409
Grit's been on a bit of a rollercoaster of his own. Someone else even knows his secret now, but Alloy's been a bit narrow-minded, especially recently.
6571766
There'll be more soon! Promise!
6627601
I liked him too.
6670819
Oh jeez. I imagined the sound effect from Super Smash Bros. when I read this, and it's even worse.
6705135
I'm glad you think so. It's one of those things I was worried about having around, but not enough to actually change the story for.
6705243
I'm pretty sure that first scene went through about 3 different major versions, but in the end I'm really pleased with the way it turned out, and I'm glad you liked it, too.
Also, coming up with locations is almost as much fun for me as coming up with weird critters. I wish I could use them all as quickly as possible, but there's that pesky "pacing" and "story" getting in the way :P
And thank you again. Chapter 12 soon, I promise, though luckily you haven't been waiting as long.
6706582
Holy crap thank you for this.
6706688
Talky villains are so friggin' fun. I promise to keep up the writing as best I can!
How you wrote Malice's dialogue was so convincing I think I would've said 'yes' on the spot. Her calm even playful composure just made all that happened feel so distant, like she was a friend sitting with me at the bar recounting that one time I won 'the big game'. This has been extremely unsettling.
Well, I’m pleasantly surprised at just how dangerous Malice is. No raider should ever be that reasonable. Talking to her is like talking to a silver tongued devil and that’s how you know that there's more to her than anyone can see. I look forward to seeing what she does next.
Yes! Does Grit not understand what a bodyguard job entails? You do the job, get paid, then go home. Wash, rinse and repeat if you plan on making a career out of it.
You’re not there to be her friend Grit. You’re there to keep her alive. That’s it.
8491442
He wasn't doing it as a job, he never said he was. Alloy offered to pay but he declined. He did it because he thought it was the right thing to do. While his friendly actions might serve a purpose toward feeding him, I doubt he ever did it manipulatively. He helped ponies and they are grateful, they don't have to be, but they usually are because, you know, they got help in an unfriendly world. He wasn't going as a bodyguard, he was going as a friend, even if it was a one sided friendship. I still don't understand your hatred of Gritt. He is by far the most likable character in this story. Allow is not, cause she's a bit of an asshole. (Makes her an amazing character if not an agreeable one.)
Alloy doesn't understand friendship, assuming the only reason Gritt did all this for her is because he wanted to gain something from it. She defaults to thinking he is crushing on her because she doesn't have the experience to assume he's just being friendly.
Third REVIEW TIME in a single day? Yea you have me hooked, and Doom needs another dose of the good stuff... And I am slowly fearing what a wreck that I am gonna end up as when I have caught up with the story... welp that is a problem for future Doom.
Oh Malice... what can I say beside that I have fallen hard for you, smitten by your harsh yet fair rule, there for once not being any evil masterplan hiding behind every corner, and the underlying plan actually being a rather logical and sound one. I am a LARPer, and I wish that there were more "evil" people around like Malice. Malice knows when to hurt, when to intimidate, when to kill, and in what exact amounts there are needed and are not going to be more "evil" than what there are needed to get the job done. A practical pony just after my head, and boy do I smile from ear to ear each time she takes the spotlight.
I still think that she should bribe the French crocs with some old books and home made statues, buying herself some muscle that way. I mean all of her problems would be solved easily if she did that! No more fear of raiders when you have an army of voodo scales behind you!
And look! Not a single nitpick, you earn a gold star... which someone made into a gold heart for some reason💛
Its weird probably...but I want her to join malice...not for negative purposes...but she actually had a point.
Only problem is that malice is...well malice. Raiders define the word bipolar xD