The Most Dangerous Game

by uberPhoenix

Alpha Female (Be Rarity)

[ostensiblyPhilanthropic created memo “Alpha Female”]

Your name is RARITY.

Sweet mother of Celestia are you ever FABULOUS.

You are actually not with your friends right now. But you already know that Twilight is going to attempt to compile your story and send it as a distress call after she becomes stranded in the FURTHEST RING. You know that this is going to happen because of the somewhat paradoxical consequences of her decision.

However, you will not be with her on this ship. It is the price you paid to maximize your chances of success. For this reason, you are writing your piece of the story early, before you embark on THE MOST IMPORTANT MISSION IN THE UNIVERSE.

Before this whole nightmare began, you were an aspiring fashionista. You spent ALL YOUR TIME AND EFFORT trying to pioneer the NEXT GREAT TREND IN FASHION DESIGN, although you would have settled for a ROGUE TALENT SCOUT to notice you and maybe earn you an apprenticeship. You aren’t picky.

Of course, none of that really matters now. Funny how the end of the world can change your priorities.

NO: There's no chance of you just explaining where all this is coming from, is there?
OP: I don't think you would believe me. I'm not quite ready to accept it myself.
OP: I'll let you get back to work now.
OP: I imagine Rainbow Dash is almost ready for you to enter the game.
NO: Okay. Thank you, I suppose.

ostensiblyPhilanthropic [OP] ceased nickering nebularOedipus [NO]

I’ve always admired Twilight’s enthusiasm for knowledge. It was her commitment to the truth, her overwhelming desire to see the world as the vast sprawling cosmos that it is, that gave her the power to save the world from Nightmare Moon.

On the other hoof, it was this same commitment that destroyed Equestria and led us to our current predicament. It’s because of her that I’m about to die. And it isn’t going to be pretty. Or painless.

But don’t worry. Death has become a slap on the withers for my friends recently. Even moreso for me. I’ve already watched myself die more times than I can count, so once more shouldn’t be too difficult.

I know that soon, Twilight is going to ask us to document our tale. Unfortunately, when that happens, I’ll be a bit busy, so I’ll take time to tell it now.

The important bit of the story begins on a day I had marked on my calendar years in advance, due to the warnings of a friend. I suppose it was the final test of her honesty. For our sake, I hoped she was lying.

But she wasn’t, and so the meteors fell. I knew that I needed to talk to her, but I put it off at first. In a sense, asking her for help, confessing that I now believed her strange and horrible premonitions, meant putting my old life behind me, admitting that who I was was no longer important in the face of this new danger.

And that’s when the story comes back to Twilight and her sense of discovery and exploration. I said that I admired her, did I not? And here I was being everything she wasn’t. I was afraid to face the new possibilities. How would Twilight react if she knew I was being presented with a learning opportunity and running away from it? I steeled my resolve. The future was coming whether I accepted it or not. When the time came, when my friends were stumbling about in the darkness, I would have to be their guiding light.

Considering the destiny that is now looming ahead of me, I think I’ve grown a bit since then.

But I was still trying to work up the courage to talk to my information source when a distraction arrived: a message from Fluttershy.

panickyNaturalist [PN] began nickering ostensiblyPhilanthropic [OP]

PN: rarity? you there?
OP: Fluttershy! What a pleasant surprise! What’s the occasion?
PN: well, it’s not too important,
PN: since i wouldn’t be able to do much about it anyway
PN: because of the patient in my care,
PN: but i just received dreadful news from rainbow dash!
PN: she said that something really bad just happened in canterlot. is this true?
OP: Why would I know? I think that Rainbow Dash, a pegasus, would be much better equipped to answer such questions with any sort of immediacy, don’t you?
PN: why would you know? the same way you knew that twilight was going to go away for a while? The same way you knew she was going to call on us to save the world? you know things you had no way of knowing on your own. you seem to know a lot more than you let on, particularly about recent events.
OP: You are correct, Fluttershy, and perceptive. Indeed, Canterlot was struck today by a meteor.
PN: what.
OP: But it will not be the last city to see tragedy. Canterlot is just the beginning, unless we stop it.
PN: if you have all this foresight, i'm surprised twilight hasn’t done to you what she did to pinkie when she learned about the pinkie sense.
OP: That would be because I have not shared with Twilight what I have with you. For reasons that will eventually become clear, I have been keeping her in the dark, and I will continue to, for at least a little while longer.
PN: then why are you sharing this with me?
OP: Because it helps to be honest with the friends that I can. I understand that you probably have questions.
PN: how can you see the future?
OP: I can’t. It is not a matter of sight. I am not a Seer. I have a friend who helps me in this regard. I believe I’ve told you about my pen pal.
PN: you’ve mentioned her. where is she from?
OP: A place very far away from here. In fact, I have never met her in person, although I hope that I may someday get the chance to. We have been in communication since I was just a little filly.
PN: then how come you’ve only been able to predict the future recently?
OP: My pen pal’s resources are not infinite. She is in no way omniscient. Rather, she has recently acquired an item pertaining to the events that are soon to pass. How this item came into her possession, I do not know, and she will not tell me, on account of what she refers to as “causal spoilers.”
PN: she isn't honest with you?
OP: She withholds information. There's a difference. Nothing she has told me thus far has proven to be false, and she has been correct about enough that I trust her, even if I do not know where her information is coming from.
OP: And she has told me that we are in no danger. These problems will be resolved in time.
PN: i hope so.
OP: Don't worry about it, Fluttershy. We’re going to get through this.
OP: In fact, I’ll see you soon!

ostensiblyPhilanthropic [OP] ceased nickering panickyNaturalist [PN]

I had tried my best to maintain composure. I had been given a head start in the search for understanding, an advantage rivaled only Pinkie Pie's prophetic Prospit dreams. But this power came with responsibility, and I was not certain if I would be able to handle the stress that came with this position of authority. I remembered the time I had offered to make gala outfits for my friends. Putting on a bold face and overestimating my capacity to juggle loyalties seemed to be habits of mine, and this time I swore I wasn't going to fall victim to such brashness.

I kept it in the bottom drawer of my dresser, hidden underneath my saddles. I frequently considered building some sort of secret compartment for its storage, but I knew that such an endeavor didn't have any practical benefit, as amusing as it seemed. Provided that I was able to properly educate my little sister on privacy, I figured, keeping it secret shouldn't be too much of a problem.

Now, as I removed it from its secret hiding place, I looked it over again. I had never known its origins, although I was beginning to get a clue now. It had been in my possessions as long as I could remember. The front cover was brittle and cracked with age, although I could still clearly make out the title of the book.

nebularOedipus

At least the meaning of the name was clear now. For as long as I had been using the book, which I now knew was called a pestertome, I had always been confused by the title. I knew what the individual words meant, but the meaning of particular combination had been unknown to me or my pen pal. I glanced back at the tome Twilight had given me, which was branded with a much more suitable name for me:

ostensiblyPhilanthropic

Besides the name, the color of the ink, and the fact that my secret book appeared much older, the two were otherwise identical. Even opening them up, the first page appeared almost the same. The page where the tomes reported the other contacts within range, however, were very different. While the book Twilight gave me reported a list of all of our other handles, my copy of nebularOedipus only reported one:

nebularOedipus

This book, and its partner, seemed for whatever reason to be severed from the rest of them. There was no cross communication, despite my efforts. I flipped my secret book forward and began writing.

nebularOedipus [NO] began nickering nebularOedipus [NO]

NO: It's time.
NO: Twilight entered the game first, just like you said she would.
NO: There you are.
NO: What took you so long? I've been trying to message you for the past four hours.
NO: Sorry. I can't keep the pestertome on my desk like you do, considering that I'm close to Twilight. I have to be discreet.
NO: What could I possibly say if she discovers this book? What explanation could I possibly give?
NO: “Hi, Twilight! How are you today? Book? What book? Oh, that book? That's nothing, Darling. Just a tool that you haven't made yet. I've been using it to keep in touch with my secret pen pal I’ve never bothered to tell you about, and I've had it as long as I can remember.”
NO: But you said that she finally invented it, right? So it's okay now.
NO: No. It's not okay. She only made a couple of them, and she knows where they all are. A tome that she didn't make, that only she knows how to make, that has her own friendhandle? There is literally no explanation for that.
NO: Sweetie Belle's nearly stumbled upon it multiple times.
NO: I have to be secret about this, at least for now.
NO: Or you could just be honest. If you want my help, you're going to have to share my advice with your friends eventually.
NO: And speaking of your sister, have you considered my proposition yet?
NO: Considered it? Yes. It would be awfully, well, inconsiderate if I didn't weigh in my pen pal's needs and wants. But I still see no reason for you to talk to Sweetie Belle. And no practical way to do it, either, without begging more questions than I know how to answer.
NO: I'm still not sure I understand your desire to speak with my sister in the first place.
NO: Unless...
NO: You know the future, right? Does Sweetie Belle become famous?
NO: Or does that count as another “causal spoiler?”
NO: I am interested in your sister for personal reasons, let's leave it at that. The two of us share a certain connection, a similarity that intrigues me. However, I’ve encountered significant difficulties obtaining any information about your sister's childhood. Almost as if it has been obscured on purpose. Even my historian friend has been unable to dig up much. So I've decided to go to the source.
NO: You have a historian friend? How bizarre is it to contemplate, that you know me so well that my present experiences are like a historical study to you?
NO: Yes. That is one way to word it.
NO: Hold on. You aren't... enamored of Sweetie Belle, are you?
NO: Sweet Shining Serenade! Heh.
NO: Heh?
NO: Inside joke. Don't worry about it.
NO: I am not interested in your sister in that manner.
NO: Besides, there is already a special somepony in my life, not that she knows it yet. And she’s somepony I’ve already spoken to before, in case you were worried.
NO: I wasn't worried. It's just always strange, talking to you.
NO: SHUT UP, YOU STUPID ANIMAL! GO AND WAIT YOUR TURN LIKE EVERYONE ELSE!
NO: …
NO: Excuse me?
NO: Maybe I misread that...
NO: Oh, Nocturne's Nuptuals, I wasn't talking about you.
NO: I was telling my stupid pet to quiet down.
NO: She gets a bit noisy when it nears her feeding time.
NO: I'm sorry, but let me get this straight.
NO: You attempted to vent your frustration concerning your pet, and you accidentally wrote your response in all capitals instead of merely speaking it?
NO: ...yes.
NO: You make me sound stupid when you word it that way.
NO: Sorry.
NO: Yes
NO: Well
NO: …
NO: Maybe you should go feed your pet.
NO: She can hold her damned horses. She needs to learn that I will not be there at her every beck and call.
NO: Besides, feeding her is a nightmare. Jumping through all those hoops like I'm her freaking showhorse. It's not just a meal for her, it's playtime.
NO: You don't like playing games?
NO: It's not games with her. It's pranks. I have had it up to here with her stupid pranks.
NO: I just pointed above my head, in case you were wondering.
NO: I figured. And I thought you liked pranks.
NO: Not when I'm the target of them.
NO: You can call me a troll if you like, since it's an accurate descriptor. But there is nothing more irritating to a troll than being counter-trolled.
NO: A troll? Like, those hulking brutish monsters with the fangs and clubs?
NO: What? No! A troll is like...
NO: Never mind. I keep forgetting.
NO: There's so many things that seem perfectly normal to me that wouldn't make a lick of sense to you!
NO: It sucks, having to censor myself around you.
NO: Censor?
NO: Not like hide anything. Just finding appropriate synonyms. A troll is like a jester or a clown.
NO: But a cruel one. Does that make sense?
NO: Why would somepony pursue a career as a malicious prankster?
NO: Well, it's more of a hobby, really.
NO: That sounds like some ponies I know.
NO: Rainbow Dash?
NO: Yeah. Do you like to research her too?
NO: No, but my friend does. You could say that my friend is sort of obsessed with Rainbow Dash. Which is perfectly understandable, all things considered. RD is quite the accomplished pony, both in her past achievements and in the game you are about to play.
NO: You know, you are the only pony to refer to PASTR as a game.
NO: Twilight is calling it a tool.
NO: Although what purpose that tool serves, we still don't know.
NO: Perhaps that is because it is not a tool at all.
NO: Why do you call it a game, though?
NO: Because it totally is one.
NO: A game that destroys cities and brings about the end of the world?
NO: Of course! Games aren't fun if there's nothing at stake.
NO: And your friends will come to refer to it as a game soon enough.
NO: And presumably we win and save the world?
NO: Well, the world's still here in my time, isn't it?
NO: You're assurances don't do much to ease my fears.
NO: I don't even know for certain yet that Twilight survived the meteor in Canterlot.
NO: Look, don't worry about Twilight. She'll be fine. Like I said, you'll see her again soon. In person, even.
NO: I hope so.
NO: Hey. Who is literally reading your life like an open book here?
NO: Now you've got a job to do. Soon, it will be time for you to enter the game yourself. At least, it will be time for this incarnation of you to enter.
NO: What?
NO: You will learn the intricacies of your aspect soon enough. Until then, you might want to get used to looking at your own appearance in a mirror.
NO: Although I expect you already have quite a bit of practice doing that.
NO: Thank you.
NO: No problem! Toodles!

nebularOedipus [NO] ceased nickering nebularOedipus [NO]

I had gone into the conversation looking for strength and encouragement, and I hadn't found it. If anything, I was more confused and nervous than ever. To calm myself, I continued working on a new dress I had been designing, even if the end of the world meant I would never have to finish it. Before long, Fluttershy was ready to talk to me again.

panickyNaturalist [PN] began nickering ostensiblyPhilanthropic [OP]

PN: has you pen pal ever said anything about little black monkey men?
OP: I’m sorry?
PN: luna said that the suits come to important events in equestria’s history. whatever's going to happen, they seem to think it’s pretty important. i don’t think that it’s just that equestria’s in danger, because it’s been in danger before, and they didn’t care. this seems even bigger than that somehow, like equestria’s about to be changed forever.
OP: Well, Fluttershy, this new bent of yours has certainly taken be by surprise. I don’t know whether I should feel inspired or frightened.
PN: the point is, rarity, the suits know. whatever’s about to happen, they’ve got an inside scoop, just like your pen-pal does. something's happening, something big, and they know what it is and we don’t and i’m scared, because how can we stop it when the ponies who know what’s going on won’t tell?
OP: It's okay, Fluttershy. You're forgetting that we have a pony on the inside too.
PN: and you trust your pen pal, even though she doesn't tell you everything?
OP: I appreciate your skepticism, Fluttershy, but you can trust her. I've known her all my life.
PN: okay.
PN: sorry.
PN: your judgment's fine. if you trust her then i trust her.
PN: i'm just scared, rarity.
PN: i don't know what's happening and there's a monster in my living room that could blow me to pieces even though he's supposed to be nice and i don't know what's going on or what to do next.
OP: Just try to relax. Keep doing what you're doing, okay?
PN: okay.
PN: i’ll try my best.
PN: i'm just a bit scared.
OP: We all are, okay? You’re not alone. You’re never alone.
PN: thanks
PN: i have to go check on my patient again

panickyNaturalist [PN] ceased nickering ostensiblyPhilanthropic [OP]

[ostensiblyPhilanthropic closed memo “Alpha Female”]

If this story were to contain any graphical elements, then perhaps this might be the time where we are shown an incredibly close image of a hoof with a white coat closing a Pestertome that is even more battered than Rarity's. The would lead us to assume that the mysterious pen-pal, whoever she is, is a white pony. Or, at the very least, she is a creature with at least one hoof that is white on at least one side. (Unless the hoof was a glove or something, but come on. That would be a major cop-out that would serve no purpose but to make the readers confused and angry. And unless it would also make the readers shout the author's name to the heavens, it is unlikely that he would stoop that low.

But it cannot be ruled out as impossible.)

Be Rainbow Dash

Be Twilight

Be Fluttershy

I've Been Everypony

Comments

[BrassHeart]

I really hope that I don't have to shout your name at the heavens anytime soon. "uberPhoenix" doesn't roll off the tongue like "HUUSSSIIIIIE!" Watch, watch.
UBERPHOENIIIIIIIX!
See? It's just not the same.

[flowandthought]

888583

And Hussie just has so many more opportunities for gratuitous use in general.

Like a Huss...
Every day I'm Hussie-ing...

[Big-X]

oh gog, the red text, it hovers...

[DiscordDraconequus]

HUUUSSIEEEE!!!!!