• Member Since 6th Dec, 2011
  • offline last seen Yesterday

hayatecooper


E

Pipsqueak plans to become the King of the Pirates, going around gathering his Crew Mates before setting out for the Celestial line to make his dream come true! With the help of his allies he will strive to help and of course loot all the way to the last treasure!

Chapters (2)
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Comments ( 54 )

OH MY GOD, YES. YES YES YES YES!:pinkiehappy:
I can't wait until the next chapter, this is amazing, dude!

Yay! Thanks for the enthusiasm. Hopefully it stays :derpytongue2:

Combining My Little Pony and One Piece... Colour me intrigued, a mix of my two favourite genres sound like awesomeness! Time to give it a go!

thare is never enuff one piece/pony crossover fics for me

I knew somebody would do this eventually :pinkiehappy:

Considered it tracked.

Nice beginnings. I am no big One Piece fan, but I'll track this. The pony version of the Devil Fruit was a neat idea. I like your Pipsqueak - he mixes well with Luffy.

Okay this is pretty interesting. . . *Track*

I look forward on how this will play out, you've got a lot of ground to cover and plenty of characters to introduce. Might I suggest the Mane 6 as the 7 Warlords?

Well that's all I can say for now, I'm glad you're actually being creative about this instead of copying the manga/anime good crossovers get ruined on that front.

Shoobe?

... shoo shoo be doo? :pinkiegasp:

Color me interested. :pinkiehappy:

Now you have me wondering who will be the Zoro, nay, the MIHAWK of his story...Keep up the good work friend! :pinkiesmile:

Luffy would be proud

OOOOOOOOONNNNEEEE PIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEECCCCCCCCCEEE!!!!

OOOOOOHHHH MAI GAAAAAWWWWWSSSH! One piece x ponies!!!! My world just became 400% cooler. But I can't read until I get home. :ajsleepy:

Nice job on the New crossover. I noticed a few things I thought you should know and correct. But keep going! :rainbowdetermined2:

“Gang way!” The colt roared, his thin body allowing him to squeeze between two rather large fish salesmen and their customers.
I think they are salesponies, not 'salesmen.'

He leapt the stairs down to the docks, lading with his knees slightly bent,
Landing, not 'lading'

He ducked and dodged, laughing aloud as he revealed in his new found freedom;
Hmm, I keep telling myself this is ok, but "as he revealed in his new found freedom" just doesnt sound right. I don't think you can 'reveal in' something....I might be wrong though. :scootangel:

Pipsqueak glared around him.
I think you mean 'glared at him'

dodging left and right around the workers and crew men who swarmed in the tight space.
Crew ponies....

The ship was massive with a double mast and cross beams that he could only imagine the length off.
of, not 'off'

“Oie what do you think you’re doing!”
Well, this one might be ok, but I think 'Oie' is spelled as Oi' (yes with the [ ' ])

Pipsqueak exclaimed proudly as he bounced onto his feet.
They don't have feet, they have hooves.

Sour grapes rolled to his feet,
No FEET! :derpytongue2:

Out of curiosity, do you have a pre-reader yet? You always need one to help with the first time stories.:eeyup:
Besides that, you are a good writer and i'm waiting for the next segment of this awesome story! :pinkiehappy:

341671 Ah, that "revealed in" should be "reveled in."

♫♥I look forward to reading what happens next in your story♥♪

Tracking, could use some revisions though. This is about the best One Piece crossover I've found so far. Are you going to include other races like Zebras or Griffins as crew members? It would have that One Piece feel to have other races. Keep wrighting.

Oh, and if you do want a proofreader, I would be more than happy to lend a hoof. :pinkiehappy:

@everyone in post who is awesome

Yes! Grammar and spelling isn't my strong point. I have found a pre-reader/Beta etc but I do thank you for the offers. I will get this one fixed up, when I'm finished writing the second one.

Thank you for all the support and I hope I can continue to impress and improve!

Hayatecooper

This is the first One Piece crossover I have seen with any kind of quality. Well done, good sir/madam.

It does need a little polish, but otherwise this is a very fine work. Good detail, clever fusion of the worlds and an excellent main character.

One thing though. I didn't notice Pipsqueak using any of his Nightmare powers in the fight. Did I miss something? :rainbowhuh:

343710

Oh.. christ no you didn't. I just.. um.. well. Superspeed.. working it into a fight.. natural born lazyness on the authors part. I'll make it more clear.. later on.. probably.. promise!

*humming*arittake no yume wo kaki atsume, sagashi-mono wo sagashi ni yuku no sa, ONE PIECE!*/humming*

As the other stated, this is quite the tale.:moustache:
344331 Now here comes the real question; WILL WE SEE SEAPONIES, AND WILL PIPSQUEAK ASK THEM IF THEY CAN POOP?
Thank you for your time.

>mfw I read the above question made by me:facehoof:

341319 I would guess at maybe if the cover image is accurate, Zoro would be Scootaloo, I would also guess at Applebloom Sanji because of the cookaing background but otherwise colour me me clueless

345868 I'm with you on the Zoro part, but I couldn't really imagine Applebloom as the Sanji of the group :rainbowlaugh:

345973 Im basing of the cooking and kicking background but personality wise not to sure

YAY ONE PIECE! I'm shocked i didn't see something like this before honestly! XD

I wasn't too sure, but will this have identical parts to One Piece character-wise? Like others have said... Sanji would def be a hard position to fill after all! If not, and you are just going a direction for now, this will become a great piece! Keep up the work! :yay:

Also... Noticed that Caramel Apple is a Marine... I wonder if all the Apples are Marines? :trixieshiftright: DA-DA-DUMMMMM~ :pinkiegasp:

Thank you for all the nice comments.. as to most of your questions. I'm going to be vauge.

Maaaaaaaayyyybbbbbeeeee!

Needs more Dragon Dildos

Have some chapter 2. Also, I got some help going over chapter one. SO! That should look better. Thank you for your time.

You know how to paint a picture. To set a scene. Your characters never appear as just talking heads, which is always a plus. Perhaps some tab indents at the beginning of each paragraph? And for scene transitions, three to five centred star symbols are used quite often to indicate a change of locale or character.

Otherwise, the flow was nice.

I find it hard to really get to grips with this story. Whilst it is well written, and there are no major spelling and/or grammar mistakes to speak of, it just seems like every other fic I've read. You can have my thumbs up for now, but the general feel I get from this story is "Meh".
google.co.uk/url?source=imglanding&ct=img&q=http://gal.darkervision.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/11/meh_small.jpg&sa=X&ei=USJvT-TMOMm98gPR6qm_DQ&ved=0CAkQ8wc&usg=AFQjCNFs9OsWZxxJTStAVBZMFVsz7HxYdw

Alright! Getting better!
Just a few corrections. :facehoof:

'After a few minutes of tricky manoeuvring'
Spelled: 'maneuvering'

'All thoughts of searching and more importantly where his next meal was coming from fell out of his head as wood bounced against wood signalling his arrival at Water Whistle.'
This is a run-on sentence.

Clutching the sword in his teeth Pipsqueak jumped onto the docks, dropping it before quickly hopping back in and grabbing the rope to moor his boat.
I never heard the term 'moor' used like that.....hmm....I guess this is ok, I just need to find out what it means.....:unsuresweetie:

...'almost too quickly for Pipsqueaks aching head to keep up with.'
Pipsqueak's aching head

“You mean Flithy’s pet demon? Oh kid have I got a story about her,”
needs a period after "her".

Also, I noticed that the story keeps swiching between calling the bar pony 'Bubbly' and 'Bubble', but the pony said her name was bubbly.....:rainbowhuh:


Anyway Great job with Chapter 2! Keep writing! :ajsmug:

Timewarped3D what would I do without you? In all seriousness, thank you. I'll try and do better promise! and I'll go fix those mistakes now!

Lovin' it more and more! Some errors here and there, and a few places where phrasing was a little awkward, but all in all very good. I c what u did thar. :raritywink:

364628 Have you read or watched One Piece? (Real One Piece, not 4kids edited One Piece. :ajbemused: ) That probably adds to its appeal as a crossover.

I wondered who'd be the Zoro counterpoint and was pleased when I was right about it being Scootaloo. Definitely looking forward for more chapters as I like how you seem to be following the basic story of One Piece without directly copying it.
It does make me wonder who the other Straw Hat counterparts are. I can get a good sense from the art that's posted with this. If I had to guess (from the artwork) it'd be: That blue-haired filly as Nami, Twist as Usopp, Ruby as Sanji, Spike as Chopper, Dinky as Robin, Apple Bloom as Franky and Sweetie Belle as Brooke. But whatever. I'm looking forward to seeing more of this.

Tim.. I can't directly say yes, but um. Yeah. You may(or may not) be surprised to hear that people don't believe I may or may not have made Scoots Zoro.

Thank you Squeaker. I do appreciate the kind words! Trying to have some fun with it as I go.. will promise I'll start getting my beta to spend more then an hour checking it :derpytongue2:

Water Whistle = Water Seven
Cannot unsee.:derpyderp1:

very nice, very nice~ I do agree with Tim how we have a sense for the orginal show, but it is its own original idea!

When the marine ponies first meant monster though, i wonder if they were referring to Scoot or Spike, since a dragon is so rare in the first place! I could have seen Spike as Zolo though, since he would be the only one that has hands XD

OMFG THO, I half hope, half dread when you get to the point about everyone's past lives.... T_T

Oi, this is good, i hope ya get the next chap up as fast as ya can, i want more, its that good.

Goodness; this is the most adorable thing I've read yet on this site. I've only seen like one, maybe two episodes of the original One Piece, but there's still a lot of appeal here. Really nice work.

I AM INTERESTED! This has a really, really, really epic idea!
But wait? Diamond Tiara will be on his crew?
Go write MOAR!! \
:coolphoto::coolphoto::coolphoto::coolphoto::coolphoto::coolphoto::coolphoto::coolphoto::coolphoto::coolphoto:

..... Have we seen Pip's cutie mark yet? Does he even have one at this point?

:pinkiegasp:WOAH! Didn't expect Scotaloo to be an assassin. I mean look at her face -->:scootangel: lolz anyway I hope chapter 3 will be coming out soon! I will be waiting! cdn.broni.es/images/emotes/mlp-pplotting.png

Nothing against you or your story, but I'm going to give this story a pass. Not a big fan of character replacement stories.:unsuresweetie:

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