• Member Since 2nd May, 2012
  • offline last seen 4 hours ago

CyborgSamurai


I have no idea what I'm doing.

T

Dead.

It all happened so fast. One minute they were there, and the next she was standing in their ashes.

Lost forever.

It wasn't fair. They’d devoted their entire lives to defending Equestria, and what was their reward? To be cut down in the blink of an eye. Weren't they supposed to be the heroes? Weren't they the good guys, the chosen ones, the saviors of the land? This wasn’t the way things were supposed to go!

Alone.

Twilight wouldn't accept it. No, she couldn't accept it. How could fate be so cruel? Why did she have to be the only one left alive? Why did she have to suffer on with such a terrible burden, reliving that terrible moment again and again for all eternity? No, regardless of what anyone said or did, she knew that a terrible mistake had been made, and she would see it fixed...

...no matter what the cost.

MLP/Shadow of the Colossus crossover.

Picture by Companda.

Chapters (3)
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Comments ( 90 )

This... is weird. I'm not following you, but I got a notification of this updating :rainbowhuh:

Weren't they were supposed to be the heroes?

(In the description.)

Whew...! Heavy beginning. Nice callback, though! :pinkiehappy:

Onward!

This game.... This.... Damn game.... and its feels.... also really loving this so far.

:twilightoops: Oh, crud...! What the heck did those... things just do to her?!

...They're not more Plunder Vines, perchance? :rainbowderp:

Love it! Loved the game as well. Like and favorite from me! :pinkiehappy:

Great game though I don't often see crossovers for it. Really awesome story so far, can't wait to see more of it.

*sighs* That... black ribbon or whatever it is... that's part of the "price" for the resurrection Dormin mentioned, isn't it. :fluttercry:

This is probably gonna suck...! :fluttershyouch::fluttershbad:

Let us feast upon this glorious morsel! :pinkiehappy:

I really hope you don't just replace Wander with Twilight for this story.

I don't know Shadows of the Colossus, but I'm guessing resurrecting the Mane 6 will have consequences on Equestria as a whole.

There are two kinds of stories I really like; OP Twilight, and Badass Twilight. This story has both of them and a bit more.

this should be of interest to anyone with an internet connection: Roar of the Earth, Extended

Tragedy and Sad, Tragedy and Sad, abandon ship-

Oh wait, I don't bitch about things like that :twilightsmile: lucky you.

Story was entertaining, definitely enjoyed it :pinkiecrazy:

You may continue.

The cup you choose to fill has no bottom, Twilight...

3975966
There is more to the Colossi than meets the eye.

3975828
You have no idea. :pinkiecrazy:

Excelent story so far. What Twilight said in the flashback *shivers*, man was that cold. Can't wait to see how this story will go.

Such a good game. I will be watching this story closely. :pinkiehappy:

OH SHIT YES. A CROSSOVER OF ONE OF MY FAVORITE GAMES?

YOU BETTER SEE THIS ALL THE WAY THROUGH.

Sweet Celestia...This is amazing.

3976729

Well, none can say Dormin isn´t true to his/her word. He merely omitted... a few details.
I wonder... was Discord the one who told Twi about the Forbidden Land? I imagine he would be interested in sending the young alicorn there, either for revenge for Fluttershy´s death or for the chaos Twilight´s wish would generate.

Noooo... ! I want to read this, but I don't want to read this because I can feel the feels-storm coming...

Well now, this looks interesting. The Tragedy tag makes me a little nervous, as it usually does, but in this instance it looks like the tragedy in question is front-loaded in the story description (unless of course Twilight brings another down on herself with her actions in taking out the colossi). And generally speaking I trust the author, so let's give this a shot.

Sad + Tragedy

You can't believe how nonsensical that sounds.
:rainbowlaugh:

Oh my god........ I LOVE SHADOW OF THE COLOSSUS!!!!! SUCH A GOOD GAME! MUST READ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The writing is very dull (lots of tell-y narration and blunt delivery of details), but I think the bigger disappointment is the fact that you used Colossi identical to the ones in the games.

A good crossover should not simply rehash half its donors with characters from the other half. It should explore them in a new way, reinterpret both in order to make them match each other. This story doesn't do that, it just takes all the colossi from the original games and replaces Wander with Twilight. This is especially evident in the way you describe everything; the introduction of each colossus is more like a checklist than the ponderous reveal in the game. It's clear that this was written with people who already played Shadow of the Colossus in mind--if I hadn't played the game already, I wouldn't even recognize the colossi, and anyone who hasn't will not get the same sense of awe and terror from writing so flat.

Ah so this one of the rare one's where Celestia apparently shows her true colors, ones they wouldn't even begin to understand. :pinkiecrazy: I love that game but I could never get past this turtle Colossai, I think it was the thirteenth one.

SoTC?

Damn, Dormin is gonna fave fuuuun.....

I love MLP and Shadow of the Collossus. I will read this.

3975790

Considering the nature of the crossover and Shadow of the Colossus, let me put it like this.

You will wish those were plunder vines just now. :pinkiecrazy:

I'm... just not feeling it. Having played the game all the way through, this is hardly what I'd call a Shadow of the Colossus story. The game focused entirely on its melancholy, its epic loneliness, and the unfolding tragedy you get only hints of. Most of all, the fights with the colossi were desperate, mythical, and felt extremely one-sided since they could smash you with just their finger.

Here, Twilight is yelling in all caps (no), screeching and hollering with little regard to her characterization even after such a tragedy (no no), and kind of acting like a teenager with a raging addiction to Call of Duty (bleh). Don't even get me started on how random the whole "Celestia straight up murdered all her friends" angle is.

Basically, it doesn't feel anything at all like the source material, especially when Twilight is magically smashing them down to size with boulders and yelling corny one-liners. I would reconsider the direction you're going here. Maybe play the game again to get a good feel for the atmosphere, and also adapting the worlds so they mesh better, telling us how and why the Colossi are there and why there's this forgotten land.

Because this, right now, feels like both settings have been put into a blender and forced to grind together awkwardly like so many ravers who suddenly realize how weird they look.

3976916 Judging from the rhymes in the prologue, I assume it was Zecora who told Twilight about this land.

Following this story because SotC is awesomely difficult.

Alright. One thing. Twilight is to damn badass. Shes over powered! Theres very little tension in the fights if your main protagonist just smashes and bashes their way through everthing. I understand this was probably the goal but Shadow of the Colossus isn't about that. The reason Shadow of the Colossus was so great was because your protagonist was a simple mortal who had everthing to lose, you can clearly see him(her?) struggle along the way in more than one occasion. You give the character the ability to fly AND the power levels to stand hoof to toe with even the toughest colossi and my point makes itself. There are other universes much more suited for this writing style than this one: IE. [Prototype], MG Rising, God of War, and even Dragon Ball.

Scratch that. Two thing. You botched Twilight's personality. Shes way to cocky and self asured. She doesn't fear anything, she doesn't feel remorse (at the ruthless killing of the colossi), and shes way to evil. You have her acting more like Rainbow Dash than Twilight Sparkle. Now when I say evil I say that with the greyscale viewpoint in mind. She isn't the Devil-and shes DEFINITELY not Twilight-but her actions are far to impulsive and she has already put ponies lives in jeapardy with her plan. This is so far outside Twilights character tree you might as well plug in your Dark Blade OC and have him be the protagonist.

Note that I will follow this story as I still have high hopes.

I get the feeling this story will take a while if all the Colossai fights are this long, not that I'm complaining of course. :pinkiehappy: It's very awesome and even more noble than what the protagonist in the game killed them for.

I also don't think I'd wish torture on her but Celestia should pay for what she did. :pinkiecrazy:

Still kicking well. :pinkiehappy: Now it seems even Luna is looking to turn her back on her and her own flesh and blood sister sealed her away for a thousand years without looking for any alternative to her Nightmare Moon enigma. :raritydespair:

Looks like they both have to pay now. Twilight's parents too if they had anything negative to say about that moron Sun Goddess sacrificing their lives out of nowhere like that.

........I think I ranted again. :twilightblush:

HOLY COW!! This is awesome! What a start! :raritystarry::pinkiehappy::raritystarry:

I haven't played the game, but I know a lot about it from gossip and the internet.

The idea you got going here is great, and the mechanics are great too. Dialogue is a tiny bit forced, but I can look past that easily :scootangel:.

Dormin seems like a cool character. I think you do great with him. And I can't wait to see how Twilight's journey goes.

And I'd like to learn more about the deaths of the rest of the six and how Celestia "sacrificed" them. I'm hoping you'll fill that in eventually.

I would recommend you put the "dark" tag on this.

Looking forward to more! :twilightsmile::pinkiehappy:

>Shadow of the Colossus
Insta fave:pinkiehappy:

so well the next chapter have discord telling her about dormin and warning her it's not an option or soemthing?

Oh, thank you so much. I've been waiting for a proper crossover between MLP and Shadow of the Colossus for a long time now, and this is brilliant.

I just can't wait to see when Twilight begins feeling remorseful for killing these beautiful creatures. I'm guessing when she gets to Phalanx; it doesn't even actually try to fight the player in the game. It just sort of wants to be left alone. Plus it is by far the most majestic Colossus.

3977969

Mmmm... I agree. The author may:
-Making the death of the Elements more ambiguous. Even if Twilight blames Celestia for the tragedy, the later can be showed apologetic yet unreadable in Twi´s recalls. The readers should make their own conclusions about the event, or Celestia´s grade of responsability.
-Depowering Twilight. As you pointed, Wander didn´t have wings or D&D magic to his call, and climbing over the colossus´ bodies to reach their weak spots was an integral part of the game. Canon Twilight the unicorn, even with limited teleportation (which consumes a lot of her energies, leaving her vulnerable) is a more fitting protagonist.
-Taking Scale as an example: the protagonist doesn´t talk, but shows; all her expressions, like her emotional state, is non verbal, based on her actions and reactions.
Elaborated, deep monologues are another option.
-Describing the apparitions and shapes of each colossus in all of their majestic, terrible glory. Each of one must be a deadly challenge where one single mistake equals death.
-Alicorns aren´t goddesses. Dormin is the closest thing of a deity around, and even he/she is intentionally ambiguous, distant and cryptic.

3975928

it depends on what you mean by replacing him. In the sense that they're undergoing the same quest, yes. In the sense that they're going to go about it the same way, no.

3977375

It's funny. On the one hand, you've got people that want a crossover to remain as true to the source material as possible. On the other, you've got people that want as much originality as possible. I'm not really sure whether or not one approach is better than the other, as in either case you're going to alienate one portion of your prospective audience, but I chose to go with the original colossi here because of their significance to the story, and because of how attached the fans of the series are to them. Just one look at the SotC wiki will give you an idea of how much information there is on each one of the colossi, and I thought people would appreciate it more if I went with the tried-and-true ones rather than trying to make up my own.

You also need to understand that the creation of 16 completely new and unique enemies that, at the same time, are reminiscent of the originals would have been a massive undertaking. I would've had to come up with some kind of idea for each one, which more than likely would have involved research on various mythologies and sketches to determine their proportions. I also would have had to come up with their abilities, the location of their weak points, how they were going to react to Twilight, what order she would face them in, and how she would to defeat them.

All of that for 16 creatures.

The bottom line was that I was intimidated by that. I also wasn't confident that anything I could come up with would come close to being as cool as what's in the original game, so I just decided not to mess with it. Was that lazy of me? Maybe, but I also saw it as safer.

3979084 If you haven't you missed out alot. It's challenging but beautiful. Recommendable.

3979745 Remaining true to the inspiration and being original are not mutually exclusive. There's a fine line between importing the tone of a story into a different setting, and merely regurgitating its plot/characters. This story does the latter, when it should be doing the former. I can't really elaborate on this without rehashing my previous comment, but 3977969, 3978279, and 3975928 also elaborated on this complaint.

I treat fanfiction as an avenue to practice writing. Worldbuilding, plotting, and character creation are important skills for any writer to practice. I really don't want to sound rude, but good writing is a lot of work, and assuming otherwise is rather naive.

No one expects perfection, especially from amateur pursuits like fanfiction. If you (or any writer) had made a bunch of original colossi, I would at least be able to appreciate the effort that went into such an endeavor. And whether it turned out well or not, you would have at least grown as a writer. Choosing the "safe" option of recycled lore and a flat plot means that as a reader, this story just makes me feel disappointed, and that, as a writer, you are cheating yourself out of opportunities to improve.

*stares at the title*
Wow, that's a stupid title— OHHHHH I GET IT!

I'll be honest, I won't read this. It doesn't interest me at all because of things I've seen in the comments. But I hope you do something with this. It's a good idea if you did something with it.

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