• Published 21st Jan 2014
  • 1,465 Views, 36 Comments

An Apple Amidst Crazies - Kevinltk



Applejack needs help with applebucking and turns to her friends for help. Too bad they are all caught up in crazy situations of their own.

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Pinkie Pie

Pinkie Pie was Applejack’s last stop and hope in her not so successful recruitment to help with the apple harvest. Although, after what she had experienced today, Applejack was starting to wonder if maybe some of her friends would actually make things worse through some bizarre twist that would defy the laws of common sense.

Maybe Pinkie would offer a reprieve from the insanity she was experiencing today. Applejack paused as she recounted the thought that had just passed her mind. Letting out a long exasperated sigh, Applejack resumed her march. “Let’s just get this over with,” she grumbled, resigning herself to whatever fate had in store for her.

As she neared Sugarcube Corner, Applejack saw Pinkie Pie hop out from behind the bakery. She was pulling a cart piled so high with various stuff, it almost reached the height of Sugarcube Corner.

“Uh, howdy, Pinkie,”Applejack called out, staring at the cart.

“Applejack!” Pinkie Pie yelled as she turned towards Applejack, a large smile on her face. To Applejack’s horror, Pinkie sped towards her, the cart trailing close behind.

“Whoa! Slow down there, girl!” Applejack yelled as she quickly turned to flee from the incoming train of hugs and pain. She did not make it farther than a few steps as a huge weight tackled her to the ground, giving her face an unscheduled meeting with the dirt.

Groaning, Applejack slowly lifted her head and looked behind her to assess the damage. The first thing she saw was Pinkie’s smile. It was the only thing she saw because Pinkie’s face was literally shoved right into Applejack’s.

“Hi!” Pinkie chirped.

Applejack returned the greeting with an unamused glare. “Sugarcube, please get off me.”

“Okie dokie!” Pinkie complied, hopping off her latest victim.

Applejack got up, taking note that, through the wonders and mysteries of Pinkie Pie, not a single item fell off her assaulter’s cart. “Ah know Ah’m goin’ to regret this, but what’s all that stuff, Pinkie?” Applejack asked, pointing towards the cart.

“Oh, that’s easy! I’m going around and restocking a bunch of my emergency stashes.” Pinkie reached into her hair, pulling out a small book and opening it. “According to my handy dandy book of stashes, today I have to check my stashes of airplanes, ammo, anvils, balls, booze, bouncy houses, candy, chloroform, couches, daffodils, and dirt. And that’s just the first page.”

Applejack raised an eyebrow as Pinkie read off her list of emergency supplies. While some of the items were setting off alarms in her head, one in particular stood out the most. “Did you say chloroform?” she asked.

“Yeppers,” Pinkie replied. “They’re great for ponies who needs a little extra convincing to come to a party.”

Applejack briefly recalled the incident with Rainbow Dash while also making a mental note to NEVER miss a Pinkie Pie party. The featherbrain really was telling the truth.

“Besides makin’ me worry, why do you need all that stuff?” Applejack asked.

“Because I have to be ready for anything, anywhere, anytime. It’s not like I can pull whatever I need out of thin air,” Pinkie Pie explained as she sat down on the ground, placing the open book in front of her. “Phew, all this talking is making me hungry.” A large smile once again appeared on Pinkie’s face. “Snack time!”

Reaching into her mane, Pinkie pulled out a three tiered cake covered in white frosting. Somehow, not a single pink hair was seen on the tasty white surface. The cake quickly disappeared as it was somehow viciously inhaled into the dark abyss where many sweets disappear, otherwise known as Pinkie Pie. After giving out a loud hum of satisfaction, Pinkie turned her attention back to the book. A small frown appeared on her face as she shoved her face into the book.

“Something wrong, sugarcube?” Applejack asked.

“I swear that there was one more thing on this page for me to check,” Pinkie replied, her eyes almost literally crawling through the page.

Watching Pinkie going through her book, Applejack realized something. She was not at any risk for immediate physical or mental injuries, or at least any risk that she was aware of. This made it a good time to ask if Pinkie could possibly help with the applebucking. “Hey, Pinkie, do you think you will be able to bu—”

“Ah ha!” Pinkie interrupted with a triumphant yell.

“What?” Applejack huffed, a bit annoyed at how often she was getting interrupted today.

“There’s a fudgy smudge right here!” she stated as she licked the page. “Mmmm, fudge. Oh look, the last thing to check today is dynamite.”

“What?” Applejack’s eyes bulged. The thought of Pinkie Pie with explosives scared her more than anything she and her friends faced, excluding present company.

“Ooo, that’s an easy one. I keep almost all of those around Sweet Apple Acres.”

“What?!” Applejack’s jaw dropped, trying its best to get reacquainted with the ground.

“You’d be surprised how often I have to restock those. It’s like I don’t remember where I put them all,” Pinkie said, blissfully unaware of the mental trauma she was causing.

No sound or movement came from Applejack. Her brain had finally reached the critical point where it was unable to process all the insanity that had gone on today. Pinkie’s revelation was the last proverbial straw that broke the pony’s back, although, to Applejack, it felt more like a truck driving a truck into her face.

“Ooo, I feel a combo coming!” Pinkie announced excitedly. “Let’s see… wobbly legs, droopy eyes, dry mouth. Oh, oh, oh, I know what that is!” Pinkie bounced over to her cart and pulled out a bottle of whiskey, placing it on the ground in front of Applejack. “It means a friend needs a strong drink. Funny, that sure seems to happen a lot, especially when I’m around.”

Pinkie harnessed herself back to the cart and started to hop away, stopping to wave goodbye to the still unresponsive Applejack. “I got to get going, Applejack. Bye bye!”

Applejack’s frozen state persisted for another few minutes, earning her a few confused looks from passing ponies. After finally regaining some form of consciousness, Applejack noticed the bottle of whiskey Pinkie had left her. Plopping her butt on the ground, Applejack grabbed the bottle in her hooves and unscrewed the cap. She brought the bottle’s opening to her lips and swung her head back, emptying a large chunk of the situational ambrosia into her. A big sigh of relief was released by Applejack as the bottle left her mouth.

“Confound my friends. They drive me to drink.”

Comments ( 9 )

I just love it when everyone's chapter had the word "crazy" on it, yet when pinkie's chapter rolls out it's just "pinkie pie" XD

Oh my, that was bucking hillarious :D amazing story!

:rainbowlaugh: Poor Applejack! The only sane mare out of her friends. Great story! Have a fave!

5627724
How else are they going to get you to keep on coming back?

Pinkie Pie is synonomous with crazy!

So…the thing that drew me to this fic? The table of contents.
Crazies 1-5…and then there's Pinkie Pie.

I knew it was going to be a great escalation culminating in Pinkie, which means true greatness. :pinkiecrazy:
3871259
I know, right?
…and then, Pinkie Pie was almost reasonable. :rainbowderp: But at the end of "reasonable" that is around the bend of the horseshoe and adjacent to crazy.

8058035
Fixed up all the chapters. Thanks for reading my first fic ever!

Hilarious randomnous of Ponyville:rainbowlaugh:

Here’s what this fiction reminds me of:

Twilight! You came to visit my new Apple cellar. How nice! Uh, Twi, you ok? Uh, Twi?

Also this was awesome and I wanna see more like this

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