List of names past: Dovahbrony, Dragonborn of Steel, The Son of Sparda, The Chosen Undead, and Joshua Hawke
After Rainbow Dashes death at the "Rainbow Factory" incedent I was given her element, and a task to protect Ponyville at all costs. As the Changeling army threatens the town I must confront it. I will either win the fight or die trying! But three ponies aren't going to let me die on there watch!
(Sequel to The Shining Sabre)
Slendermare is making a fic that is a continuation to mine soon check it out.
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I liked it from the description. This needs more likes.
3858232 thank you not sure why every pony hates this so much but the big boom was written in a day in a few hours and it still does better than my ones I spent a week or two on? It confuses me
3858241 At least people explained mine needed more detail. This....it's like they only judged it on Dashie dying. Which seems wrong to judge only by that.
Well, to start off you need longer chapters, 1000 words is the minimum. Secondly you need some more paragraphs, space some of those large text blocks out a bit more. Thirdly you put the doctor in it, that sorta thing rustles peoples' jimmies. Also some of your sentances just read wrong, I suggest you go back over and read your story out loud.
3860432 the doctor will have a big role in all of this and sorry for all the other problems I'll fix them in ch5.
That's not how it work at all.
3860482 I don't care it's my universe my rules deal with it!
I figured. Good job so far. No spelling mistakes I could see, but there was some grammar mistakes.
3862141 no pony's perfect.
Ch 5 will be short it's just there to introduce Apple jack and the changelings reason to be there. Ch 6 will be much longer.
3862173 Death of a main character only works when people don't expect it, if you give it away that negates the point. You also misspell which.
3863354 sorry bout that just stating a trend that will occur in each or every other one of Sabre's adventures.
3863996 Pretty lame trend.
3865074 it all works up to the adventures climax! The final battle!
3861631 No it isn't your universe your rules. The MLP universe has been established already, the laws are relativly established stating that the elements chose the bearers, the bearers do not choose who wield the elements, but the elements choose who they give there power.
As said before you need longer chapters, 1,000 words isn't long enough you need at least 2,000-3,000 especially since this is an adventure esc fic
3871925 well I just thought this up he can't do that thing the mane 6 do he just draws power from it. And it's just my version of the universe it is hardly related to the actual universe of mlp so I change things up. You don't like it sorry it's how my version of the world is.
3871970 I haven't even read it yet, I tend to avoid stories with less than 1,500 words per chapter
3871975 I'm sorry bout that at least give it a chance before hating on it. (Ps anything can happen in this universe I created. Don't be surprised by anything.)
3871991 I'm not hating on you, your writing style, or your universe. I may end up hating your oc since i'm already disliking him anyway. But I already have an established rule of mine that if I see a fic that has less than 1,000 words per chapter I will not even read it.
3872008 ok nice mew two pic anyway.
3872033 tanks but I'm not done drilling you! I will drill so hard that it helps your writing!
3872039 I don't like drill sargents I really don't.
3872049 DROP AND GIVE ME FIVE THOUSAND WORDS
3872051 no mew two (throws masterball)
3872065 Crushes it with mind powers
3872069 turns off ds.
3858241 good job, just needs a few periods and commas.
Oh....Timeturner is in it too. I told you I'd be reading the story soon and this was a great way to start.
Wow. Most people go for Chrysalis considering the changelings her family. It's kinda interesting to see Chrysalis not even care about the changelings.
Yay Lyra is there!
Yay! Now we see Colgate come in!
I still have no clue why this isn't liked much....kinda reminds me of how I was thinking when I joined the fandom. I actually became a brony cazse one creepypasta that I saw a reading of on Youtube easily made me notice it was hating the fandom. It made me investigate andKI discovered stories like I Couldn't Wake You, Cause You Could Never Wake Up Again on Youtube. I already knew I considered Scoots an angel and quickly I found myself watching episodes starting with the one that introduced Flim and Flam which seems to be the least evil villains ever. I liked them. They were funny. But anyways I kept wondering why people hated bronies and to this day I still say bronies gather haters cause no one understands us enough.
Oh wow. I have to know what's next. I like your Element Of Loyalty character too. I still don't know why this doesn't have more likes.
Not enough words? Judge by quality not quantity. This story is really good.
Nice ending. AJ is dead? Who's the element of honesty now?
Ummmm....remind me not to let him see the friendly yet deadly giant spiders in my Equestrias Everfree Forest any time soon. They don't take kindly to being hated.
3874655 no one for now twilight is keeping it in her library. Sabre wouldn't take it he doesn't loot his friends.
3874659 note taken.
3874370 she was blinded by revenge. Give her some time to think and she'd be upset.
3874774 I'm kinda hoping you do another story to show the new Element Of Honesty. Still it was sad to see AJ get killed off yet expected kinda.
Congrats, you can delete my comments. How about actually listening to me next time.
Can this bitch cook and clean? Is he good with technology? Is he a woman?
3908766 yes,no,no