Borg
Joined 3rd Jul, 2012 ·
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Well, that was unexpected. Interesting, but unexpected.
That ending almost ruins the whole thing. :/ Really could have done without it.
5000756 I'm sorry you didn't like it. Was it the execution or the concept that bothers you?
Mainly, though, I'm surprised you read it at all, considering it's the least popular story of somebody who has on various occasions stated that he is a terrible writer. I can't help but be curious what lead you here at all.
5003371
I'm literally going through and reading the stories on my read it later with the lowest view counts. I'll be doing a big blog on all of them when I'm done.
As for this story, I think it's either finding out it's Scootaloo and she's not really experiencing this, or else just the cliche "it was all a dream" deflates any emotion or what-have-you that the rest of the piece builds up. Plus, it's just so short, like it was an afterthought. :/
5003605 The intention was more "unfortunately, it was just a dream" than "but whatever, it was just a dream." It was supposed to ultimately be about the fact that it was a dream more than it was about the actual events of the dream. But as usual, I rushed the ending and ruined the final, and most important, impression. I don't even know what could have had me in such a hurry when I had written barely over a thousand words.
5009108
I think the dream ending could have worked, it just needed more than what you have here. :B