- Member Since 31st Oct, 2013
- offline last seen Mar 13th, 2016
Therealdraginslayer
This is the land technicolor ponies that are not canon. Yes...this is the Land of the Brony with an OC
Therealdraginslayer
Joined 31st Oct, 2013 ·
Offline
Join our SubscribeStar to remove these adverts!
Join our SubscribeStar to remove these adverts!
Stats
Page generated in 0.108 seconds
Total duration
976 users online
1,253,106 hits today, 2,004,447 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Go on...
3830686 Don't worry. I will.
3830693 Okay... I want more...
One thing though... Although this is an awesome story idea, the characterization could use a little bit of tune up, and remember that phrase: "Show, don't tell!" Other than that, great job.
This is actually an ingenious idea! Cant wait to see more
Besides the absolute destruction of their friendships and possibly Equestria?
Loved it!
Now on to the tips :)
I may be wrong but I am pretty sure only shining calls twi by the nickname Twili. Little thing but my OCD spotted it.
Last little thing is normally ths houses are the green ones and the hotels are red.
I would quite the lines but I am on my phone and it hates making comments. Great story please keep up the good work!
3832798 The house, yeah, I probably got those wrong. Shining, however, calls her Twily and i spelled it out to Twili' to show Applejack's accent, though horribly.
3833147 cool just wanted to make sure :)
Like the idea and can't wait to find out what happens when the game starts, and if it's anything like when I play the game then Celestia help them.
I like the idea, this will probably end in tears for everypony, and maybe the magic users cheating on their dice rolls. Consider working on the prose, "show don't tell" is a golden rule of writing. For instance, you describe Rarity's attic as full of "interesting" trinkets - that's an opinionated description that the neutral narrator shouldn't do.
Also, I don't think it's believable that Twilight has never played Monopony. Monopony is just the sort of thing that she would play with her brother, given how close they are - either Cadence or the parents got in on it too. Monopoly is a family game, so it would make more sense that Dash, Pinkie, and Shy, the three who were the least close to their families, had never heard of it.
Gray?... That can't be good. Also I'm a bit confused, at one point Pinkie said about visiting Rarity's and Rainbow said she only had ten bits left. This implies that Pinkie was eliminated from the game, so how could she help Twilight later? Unless Rainbow meant that she only had ten bits left after paying Rarity?
3845479 The latter. I should go back and clarify.
3846092 I actually thought the same thing when writing it, but didn't know how to word it.
Picking pieces goes a lot easier when there are no race cars in the universe for the game to copy.
Ooooh getting good
It makes sense that because they turned there back on the element they turn gray
This is turning into the creepiest game of Monopony in history, I just hope nopony gets hurt.
Now we're feeling the full force of the Monopony. Applejack's a real tough nut if she can say honestly that she's never left a game of Monopony incomplete - it's quite common that the two last mares standing will go back and forth for hours. Rarity, way to kick Pinkie while she's down :flutterrage.
This is going to end badly.
Very. Badly.
Are Rainbow and Rarity outright cheating? What a mean thing to do to Pinkie.
Good to see Twilight has her head still on straight, it's too late to stop all the bad stuff but at least she tried.
Kind of weird they are obsessed with finishing, nobody ever finishes a game of Monopoly in real life. Chess or Sorry! always, Guess Who is a given, but nobody finishes Monopoly.
3892858
Everything will be revealed in due course. Don't worry. I'm obsessive about not keeping any loose ends.
*sees title*
*laughs*
I've got to read this...
3930647
The odds...
when twilight was cleaning the closet all i thought was:
i1.ytimg.com/vi/kFxAsN0zgEw/maxresdefault.jpg
3930806
you'd better make a story afterwards of Mr. Monopony who created the board game Monopony laughing like an evil maniac at the destruction he caused.
Aw, I wanted to see Jobs' reaction to Spikes last line.
An interesting twist, so Monopony is literally evil force huh? Fitting, the real game was originally created to show the evils of capitalism and trading (before the fun aspects trumped them).
You may want to do a second proofread over this chapter. There were a few minor grammar mistakes.
I'm getting the distinct impression that the author had a really bad game of Monopoly and is taking his revenge.
4080663 No, I just hate Monopoly and figured ponifying it with a little mysticism sprinkled in with a lot of confusion and blended together into one big analogy that no has probably thought of yet...
And I had a really bad game of Monopoly.
Oh my, Monopony is some real serious business. It would help if you told us what numbers the characters needed to roll to stay out of trouble, (ie Rarity with Chance you didn't mention what number she needed until after the fact.) Doing so will show how tense the moment is - based on how likely the roll is. I know probability isn't your thing, so quick and easy guide, 7 is the most common roll and the others are rarer depending on how far they are from 7.
Geez this game is getting hardcore. If they weren't cheating earlier they surely are now...Who in their right mind bets anything on the outcome of Monopoly? They must be really screwed up by the game's power.
There's only one thing to do in a situation like this. As a wise man once said...
"(Flip table) F**k this game! It's four in the morning Grandma, YOU WIN!"
(Finally found time to read this!)
4428993 lol!!! My grandma says one more game. She makes me play 5 more games. WTF grandma?
3892858 my family stops monopoly when someone says "FUCK IT!" And flips the board.