Chapter 5: Double Sunday
All That Shimmers
Chapter 5: Double Sunday
-ooooooo-
“Uh… hey, Sunset,” Snips’s somewhat raspy voice says from the phone. “I’m actually going to see Snails soon… I mean, you remember what day it is, right?”
“Don’t be stupid!” I yell into my phone. “Of course I know what day it…” My expression softens up slightly. Of course, it’s Sunday. “Oh right… church,” I mutter.
I hate church. Not for any particular religious or anti-religious reason mind you. Though, admittedly coming from a world where I was once the main pupil of an immortal god-princess probably has messed with my perception somewhat. I hate church simply because it’s something that I can never get around on Sunday. Snips and Snails’s parents insist the pair go to Church every Sunday, and this often leads to Bible studies, bake sales, charity drives, summer camps… just a whole bunch of activities my minions have to go to that I can never get them out of.
“Fine!” I huff out. “Tell him there. I guess I’ll meet you two when services are over.”
“You can always come, too, you know…” Snips offers. He does this every time.
“Pass,” I say simply, like I do every time.
Snips chuckles. “Hehehe… What’s wrong? Afraid you might burst into flames if you walk through the doors?” Sails says, like he does every time.
The awkward silence that follows is new, though. Normally I dismiss the overused joke and reiterate that I want the pair ready to go as soon as I show up. This time, Snips little joke actually stings a bit given recent events and my current situation.
“Uh… Sunset Shimmer?” Snips says tentatively. “I’m sorry… I didn’t mean…”
“It’s fine!” I snap out. “Just make sure you both are ready when services are over… There aren’t any stupid bake sales or anything I have to work around today, are there?”
“Uh, noooo…” Snips responds. In a somewhat unsure tone.
“What is it, Snips?” I ask as I roll my eyes.
“Uh well… What exactly are we doing?”
Normally I’d yell at Snips and tell him that I’ll explain everything to him and Snips when I see them. Especially since I usually have to explain things two or three times anyhow, and it gets a bit tedious. This time, I sense Snips might be pensive about me getting up to my old tricks.
“We’re looking for books,” I answer.
“Uh… that’s it?”
“Yeah, that’s it.”
“Oh, okay then. See you after Church, Sunset Shimmer,” Snips says cheerfully.
“Yeah, bye,” I say as I hang up the phone.
I sigh to myself. Guess I can at least take the time to work out, or something.
You might be wondering about the church Snips and Snails go to.
Religion is a bit different in this world than Equestria, likely because deities aren’t walking around in broad daylight here. At least, not that I’ve seen…
Snips and Snails attend a Church where the primary figures are an omnipotent god, simply known as ‘God’ and his divine son made flesh, Fixer Christ. ‘Fixer’ probably because he was the son of a carpenter, with Christ being a title. The name seems, shall we say, convenient, for a figure whose primary role seems to be something of a savior.
Until recently, I’ve barely paid any attention to their religion. Only learning enough so I don’t like a complete idiot if the topic comes up. The religion is the most practiced on this world, and it’s somewhat ubiquitous in this country with most people believing and practicing to some degree. Not knowing the basics would sort of make me look like I came from a different planet…
Anyhow, as I mentioned, the religion is now getting a little more attention from me. Information on demons and how to deal with them seems to be mostly related to works from either Snips and Snails's religion or its precursor. The Star Swirl the Bearded of this world is a figure of great importance in both religions, and seems was something of a magician here as well.
No one I’ve met seems to be able to perform magic… real magic anyhow. Some clever sleight of hand, sure. But I’ve never seen anyone shoot a fireball or anything. The magic that Star Swirl the Bearded performed seemed rather ritualistic, a far cry from the instant satisfaction of levitating an object or teleporting. Not my forte, but they’re the best leads I have and living with this thing inside me isn’t exactly an option I want to entertain at this moment.
Anyhow, The Key of Star Swirl the Bearded is the top book on my list of things to find today, followed by The Lesser Key of Star Swirl the Bearded, and a handful of other books with names I’m not yet sure how to pronounce on account of their names not having a translation.
I go to my desk and break out some stationary. It’s a big city, there’s quite a few bookstores to scour, and the three of us will mostly be riding busses to get around. Once that’s done, I’ll hit the gym, take a shower, get dressed, and move out. I’ve got a big day ahead of me.
-ooooooo-
Dressed in my usual attire plus the new coat, new sunglasses, and a large, black handbag, I tap my foot impatiently as I wait in front of the long, single-story, brick church that Snip and Snails are currently in. Both seem to be taking their sweet time. Mostly elderly and middle-aged churchgoers are leaving at this point, the usual simple greetings and polite nods have giving way to asking me about the accident at school. Thankfully I have the same cover story Vice Principal Luna gave about no one being there at the time and it’s the weekend, so it makes sense that I haven’t seen the damage besides what the news had to report. Other than that, it’s business as usual; polite greetings I return amongst offhanded comments that I should I join services next week. I doubt these same people would react this way around me if they know what I did just a couple nights ago.
Somehow this whole standing in front of a church thing has me more uneasy than normal. Loitering in an area where I stick out like a sore thumb as people come out and acknowledge my existence for whatever reason has never been a very high on my list of things I like to do, but somehow this feels weirder than usual. I suspect it’s simply because of recent events that maybe I’m developing a psychosomatic aversion to churches.
Wait… If I’m somehow of cognizant of it then does it actually make a lot of sense for it to be psychosomatic? But… I mean… I can’t actually be having some sort of real, physical aversion to churches, can I?! That would be--
“Uh… Hey Sunset Shimmer, sorry we’re late,” a nasally voice calls out. “Nice shades.”
“Yeah, Sorry Sunset Shimmer…” a slow, somewhat dumb sounding voice adds. “I like the new jacket.”
I snap out of my contemplating and turn towards Snips and Snails.
“What the heck, guys?!” I exclaim. “You kept me waiting for forever!” Not really, actually. Though, me getting annoyed at having to wait for them is pretty standard. I might have made it a point to be a little nicer if this wasn’t so important.
“Sorry, but we had to change!” Snails says.
“Yeah, our parents get really upset if we mess up our church clothes,” Snips adds.
They’re both dress in their regular street clothes. For Snails, A green, V-neck sweater with black trim with a purple snail emblem on it all over a red shirt; a pair of khakis, and red tennis shoes. For Snails, a black t-shirt with a pair of scissors printed on the front; jeans, and green tennis shoes. Scissors on his shirt aside, Snips always dresses normally enough. Snails on the other hand…
I sigh before I address Snails, “Snails, you always look like you just physically assaulted a second-hand store!”
Snails looks down at his clothes and then back up at me. “What! It’s totally me!”
I roll my eyes. “Oh it’s you alright. You’ve managed to turn ‘clueless’ into something you wear!”
Snails puffs out his lips and pouts slightly.
“Aww, leave him alone Sunset. Snails can wear what he likes. Besides, I like it,” Snips asserts.
I fold my arms. “Yeah, well, you would.”
Snails smiles at Snips. “Thanks buddy,” he says as he holds out a fist.
“Anytime, pal!” Snips says enthusiastically as he holds out his own fist and taps it against the top of Snails.
The two do their stupid fist bump ritual while I roll my eyes as hard as I can at them. Not that they can see me doing this with the sunglasses on, but I’ve done it enough time that it’s pretty clear I’m overflowing with silent disapproval.
It may not look like it, but this is pretty much the three of us saying ‘Hello’. Pleasantries aren’t my forte unless I’m faking. The nice thing about Snips and Snails is I don’t really need to be mindful of my behavior around them.
“Are you two done being stupid?” I ask. “No, don’t answer that… look we have a job to do and I don’t want to waste all day in a church parking lot!”
“Alright Sunset Shimmer,” Snails says, “so uh… what are we doing exactly?”
“I already told you!” I growl out. “We’re looking for books! This is why I hate explaining anything to you two over the phone!”
Snails pipes up. “Yeah but… uh… we don’t exactly believe you…”
One of my eyes begins to twitch in anger as I glare out the pair of dunces in front of me. “Why wouldn’t you believe me?! Why would I lie about that!?”
“Well, you’ve never asked us to do anything like that before,” Snips says.
“Yeah, it sounds kinda… weird!” Snails says.
“What? Looking for books is somehow weird?!” I exclaim. I mean, sure it’s a bit strange regarding what I’m looking for, but the act itself should be innocent enough.
“So, we’re really just looking for books?” Snips asks.
“Yes!” I exclaim. “How is that so hard to believe?!”
“Well, I don’t think you’ve ever asked us to do anything that didn’t have to do with winning a dance or something else.” Snails says. “Are these books going to help you win a contest?”
I’m slowly losing my patience here. Granted, I have very little when it comes to these two, but still. “Uhhhg! NO!” I exclaim as I throw my arms into the air. “This has nothing to do with winning a contest of any sort! I’m through trying to win stupid contests! I have more important things to worry about at the moment.”
Snips and Snails look at me like I’ve just completely lost my mind. Well, maybe I have, but they shouldn’t think that until we somehow get past the idea of LOOKING FOR FRIGGIN’ BOOKS!
“Are you feeling alright, Sunset Shimmer?” Snails asks.
“No, I’m not feeling alright!” I snap back. “Instead of going off and doing what I want to do, which is going looking for some books, I’m stuck here explaining myself to you knuckleheads!”
“Well, I mean…” Snails continues. “Did you really mean what you said? No more contests?”
“No!” I shake my head. “I mean ‘Yes’! GHAAA!” I raise my hands and ruffle my hair in frustration. “I’m getting stupider the more I talk to you! No more contests!” I declare as I stomp my foot on the ground.
Snips and Snails exchange another glance.
“Well, she sure sounds like Sunset Shimmer,” Snails says.
“What do you mean ‘she’, don’t tell me you two idiots are humoring the idea that I’ve been replaced somehow…!”
The pair give me a double dose of blank stares and utter a couple of stupid sounding “Uhhhh…”s.
“Oh my GOSH, you two! What the heck?! I need you two to help me find some books and suddenly it’s a federal case?!”
“Well, maybe you can prove it’s you!” Snips suggests.
“Yeah! Prove it!” Snails chimes in.
I grumble angrily to myself. “Do you want me to go over all the embarrassing things I know about you two?! I mean… I have a list of those. Literally!” I exclaim as I throw my hands out. “I literally have compiled a list of all the humiliating things you two have done!”
Snips and Snails look at each other and shake their heads.
“Well, that won’t work,” Snips says.
“Yeah, won’t work,” Snails agrees.
“WHAT?! Why not?!” I roar.
“Well, you wrote them down,” Snips says.
“Yeah,” Snails agrees.
“I mean… if someone took your place they could have just found your list and told us the things on it,” Snails reasons.
“WHAT! BUT THAT… I MEAN…” As stupid as this whole exercise is, he has a point. An anger inducing, infuriating point. My body starts to shake in anger. “I AM JUST SO ANGRY RIGHT NOW… I COULD JUST… UHG… KILL YOU BOTH AND MAKE IT LOOK LIKE AN ACCIDENT!”
The two look at each other with a small smile and nod. “It’s her,” they say in unison.
My eyes shot open wide from behind my sunglasses. “WHAT?! THREATENING TO KILL YOU TWO IS WHAT TIPPED YOU OFF?!”
The pair of idiots shrug.
“Well, yeah…” Snips says.
“You always do that when you’re really mad at us.”
I begin to take a number of deep, not so calming breathing. “Huuuufffff… puuuufffff… Don’t tell me… huuuufffff… puuuufffff… Don’t tell me you morons actually planned this?!”
The two exchange a confused glances.
“Planned what?” Snips asks.
“Yeah… Planned what?” Snails adds.
I smack a palm against my face. “Oh… I get it, you two are just naturally good at making me angry… Remind me why I hang out with you two?”
“Uh… ‘cause we always do what you ask?” Snips suggests.
Well, he’s not wrong.
“Yeah,” Snails chimes in, “even after you turned all evil and stuff a couple nights ago…”
I wince. I know Snails didn’t mean anything by what he said but his words cut me deep and I feel my stomach churn just a bit. I didn’t realize how just how much the comfortable, but irritating feeling of routine had kept me going the last few minutes, but Snails words remind me that things are not normal at the moment. If anything, I should feel lucky these two are talking to me, not the other way around. And that stupid church is still making me feel uneasy!
I ball my hands into fists and turn away from the pair. I’m just so angry, and frustrated, and more than anything I just want this thing inside me gone! Also, I feel something wet and hot trickle down my cheeks. I’m crying again. Lovely.
“DuuuUUUuuude!” Snips says. “Not cool!”
“Huh?” Snails replies. “Oh, sorry Sunset Shimmer. I didn’t mean…”
“It’s FINE!” I snap out angrily as I quickly lift my sunglasses and wipe the tears from my face. I have a feeling there’s going to be a lot of me asserting its fine around these two when, in fact, it’s not fine… “Can you two please just focus long enough for me to give you two instructions?”
“Sure, Sunset Shimmer,” Snips says.
“Yeah, Sunset Shimmer,” Snails says.
I turn back and nod. “Good,” I say as I reach into my handbag, pull out a folded sheet of line paper and hand it to Snips. “This is a list of places you two will check and books we’re looking for.”
Snips unfolds the sheet of paper and he and Snails both look it over as stupidly as possible.
They both knit their brows as they continue to stare at it.
“Gee, Sunset,” Snips says, “I thought your writing was getting better, but I can’t read half of this.”
“Yeah, me neither,” Snails agrees.
“What?!” I protest. “I spent a long time making sure it was legible for you two idiots! Give me a break! I’ve only had hands for a few years!”
Snips and Snails pause then begin laughing. I relax slightly, too. It’s oddly liberating now that quite a few people know my secret.
“Hahahahahehe… Alright,” Snips says, “It’s just that”—he turns the paper to me and points at a line—“I don’t think this is a word.”
I look at it. “Sefer Yetzirah? Yeah, it’s a real word, it’s just in another language.”
Snips turns the sheet around and looks it over again. “Oh?”
“YES!” I exclaim irritably. “Look! Just go to the places on the list! And check the stores for sections on religion, thaumatology, demonology, or Kabba…”
“Whoa, what?” Snails say.
I smack my palm against my forehead. “What is it now?”
“Did you say demonology?” Snips asks.
I pause. “… Is that a problem?” I ask.
“Uh, well… aren’t demons, you know… evil?” Snails says.
“Yeah, I mean… now we all have experience being demons, and kinda cool or not, it doesn’t seem like a good idea to be messing with them.”
Snips and Snails usually only question what we’re doing up to the point where I have to explain everything. Here they seem pensive to even be helping me. I guess I can’t blame them… This would seem suspicious even under normal circumstances.
Time to come clean. “I’m not ‘messing’ with them, I just need to understand them better!” Okay, so more like rinsed, I guess…
“But, Sunset,” Snips begins, “I don’t think it’s a good idea to be playing with dark magic… it’s uh… unholy.”
“Yeah, unholy…” Snails parrots.
“No, you see, these books are about using good magic to control bad magic!” I insist.
The two look at the list skeptically. “Really?” they exclaim in unison.
“Look!” I say as I step behind them and point at the first few entries on the list. “See! Star Swirl the Bearded! He’s a good guy!”
“Huh… I guess she’s right,” Snips says.
“Of course, I’m right. I’m always right!” I exclaim.
The two look up from the list and narrow their eyes at me in in a ‘You’re kidding, right?’ fashion.
Uh… looks like there’s a line I can’t use around these two anymore.
I sigh and dig through my handbag, pull out a wad of cash, and hand it to Snips. “Just go to the places on that list, look for those books, send me pictures . If you’re unsure of anything and meet me at the usual place, capisce?” We’d cover more ground alone, but these two work better as a pair. Which is to say, they’re absolutely useless by themselves.
The pair nod and parrot back “Capisce” to me.
I glance at the Church. “One more thing. Uh… wait here…”
“Sure, Sunset,” Snips says.
“Yeah, sure.” Snails says.
I begin slowly walking towards the church, the building never particularly bugged me before, so why now…? Somehow getting closer and closer makes the act of walking seem harder. Like I’m getting slightly heavier with each step. There’s also a vaguely nauseating feeling that’s increasing. My body is telling me to turn back, but my curiosity and strong desire to prove that this is all just in my head is urging me forward. I walk forward to the wooden, double doors and I reach my hand out for of the bronze door handles. The handle is one of those that you grasp while depressing a lever at the top with your thumb. Nothing out of the ordinary for a church, but my heart starts beating faster as I reach out for it.
I place my hand around it and… nothing… Well, okay, not exactly nothing. Somehow the metal feels uncomfortable against my skin. Like it’s prickly, but my hand didn’t catch fire, or begin to melt or anything. I slowly open the door and the suddenly it’s like a wave of the nausea hits and my body feels really heavy. My vision blurs and I let go of the door handle, falling to my hands and knees. I start breathing heavily, panting even as sweat drips off my face and onto the walkway in front of the door.
Snips and Snails rush over to me, each grabbing and arm and helping me to my feet.
“Are you okay, Sunset Shimmer?!” Snips exclaims.
Snails just looks at me with a concerned look on his face.
“I’m fine!” I snap out. I begin to direct us away from the Church, allowing Snips and Snails to support me as we walk away. “I just…uh…” I scramble for a plausible explanation that doesn’t involve me developing some sort of aversion to holy places. “Felt a little ill and wanted to get some water…”
“Oh!” Snips says. “How about I go inside and get…”
I reclaim my limbs quickly. “No… I feel better now… thanks.” I walk away from the church, towards the bus stop. Snips and Snails follow. I feel better physically, and there’s no way in Heaven or Hell I’m going to risk drinking water out of the church. However, this has my worried. Demon me’s words began to echo in my head…‘Silly Sunset Shimmer~, you can’t get rid of me. I’m in you, I’m part of you!’
I had assumed it was a bluff to get me to not even make an attempt to get her out of me. I still believe that. I mean… if she’s in me, it would make sense that I can’t just waltz up to holy places… but what if she’s not bluffing? And if she is part of me, what does that mean exactly?
I shake my head, clearing it slightly. No, this is what she wants. She wants me to second guess what I’m doing. She might even have a little control over my body and is messing with me at strategic times just to get me hesitating.
Well, I’m a master of head games, too. It’s not going to work. I just need to get the right information and then it’s back to Hell for her, and back to sleeping soundly for me.
We walk up to the bus stop with near perfect timing as a bus pulls in front of us and opens its doors wide.
“Get in losers,” I say as I step into the bus, “we’re going shopping.”
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Do I spy a "mean girls" reference at the end there?
Kind of fitting, now that I think about it...
Just started reading, caught a mistake right off the bat:
She's talking to Snips, not Snails, right? Whichever one she called, you need to fix this so it's consistent.
Found something else:
Kinda...backwards there?
4125621
4125677
Whoops and whoops! Fixed. Thank you.
Yeah. First time using these two in a story. It's a tad hard to keep them separated.
Still, not as horrible as my Dan Vs. fic where I had to use a character named "Don" for a while.
That was painful.
4125756 There's a lot of other things you need to fix too. At one point you have Sunset shake her "heads" plural. This pretty much needs a thorough proofread.
(Still reading, almost done)
4125762
Yeah, I switched the names in other places, too.
Going back through it, now.
Well, being hit with a rainbow buttsex laser didn't make her any nicer to the nimrod twins, at any rate.
4125808
I considered having her attempt to act nicer around them, but then it seemed to me her being a bit of a jerk to them is sort of natural for the three (it was also a bit more entertaining for me to write). Snips and Snails could probably request or even demand Sunset be nicer to them, but between their sort of natural idiocy and spending lots of time with her, I figured they probably wouldn't be that bothered.
4125559
You know, I didn't even realize that line was from Mean Girls until today when I looked it up for proper comma placement?
Of course it had to go in when I found out.
Snails made Sunset cry....
HE WILL PAY!...After the filthy warp spawn that inhabits our glorious lady is abolished of course.
Great chapter. It's good to see some well written Sunset.
With another chapter, Sunset Shimmer's plot thickens...
*suggestive eyebrow wiggle*
Before this chapter was released, I was wondering when Sunset Shimmer would find religion. A demon torturing you in your sleep every night and telling you that you are damned seems a pretty powerful motivation for her to convert. That, or try and high-tail it over the portal next chance she gets and hope Tartaurus is nicer than Equestrian Girls Hell at least.
Sunset may also want to avoid the Halliwell Sisters and Winchester Brothers for the duration. Otherwise instead of an eternity of damnation she'll just very permanently and VERY painfully die.
I think you should put a "Dark" tag here because it's getting a little ominous. Probably for 'Light Dark'.
4200426
I guess I've used the 'dark' tag for less. Sure, why not?
No one from Equestria has the right to complain about convenient names. I did like the "would make me seem as if I was from a different planet..." bit.
4131322
Really, why? Up until this chapter I hadn't seen any signs it was a Christian demon as opposed to one from say the Hindu or old Chinese hells or some other hell dimension all together. Tartarus is a real place in MLP but that's from Greek mythology. Prior to this church repelling it, the only reason to check out Christianity would be part of her "throw things at the wall and see what sticks" strategy.
both dress in
dressed
number of deep, not so calming breathing.
breaths.
. If you’re unsure of anything and meet me
Space before period, probably 'just' meet me, unless a line was missing.
I'm rather unsure if this verse's Starswirl is supposed to be both an expy of Equestria's Starswirl and someone from our world, or just Equestria Starswirl.
Either way, I am intrigues to learn what Sunset is going to learn about Equestria Girl verse magic.
The interaction between Snips, Snails, and Sunset was actually pretty fitting. Good stuff.
4924246 The implication is that he's the local version of the folkloric(and possibly Islamic, I'm not as well read on their beliefs) King Solomon.
Shouldn't it be Snails? Or snips? i know Snips chucled at the start of that sentence.
so I don't what?
*Snips's
*given
A couple random capitalized words.
Also, the second quote has a random semicolon that should be a comma. You did the same thing in the next sentence about Snips's clothes.
Yeah, these interactions are still pretty great.
So. She literally cant go into a church.
Kabbalah + MLP!!!
Kabbalah! It's so rare to find spirituality/occult themes here, given the poor tendency to only name alchemy, runes, necromancy.