Affinity

by Havelock

Pain's Trial

Razor awoke from his dream, a deep frown etched on his face. He felt horrible, and he didn't know why. He looked over to Affinity, asleep on the soft grass beneath her.

"Dozed off I see," he muttered.

He took a rag from his bag and wiped his face, getting sweat off his brow and cheeks, thoughts racing through his head.

"You're a madman, Erik, you took pleasure in killing those guys, your sadism from the tenth grade is coming back, you're part of why this place is in hell," he looked at his gun, only inches from his hand and loaded, "might as well kill yourself..."

He grabbed the weapon, pointing it at his temple, struggling to muster the will to pull the trigger. Then he heard Affinity whimper in her sleep, rolling over slightly and shivering.

"But I can't leave her..." he muttered, "You've already made a commitment..."

His finger was twitching, pressing on the trigger by a hair.

"Dammit..." he pointed the gun upwards, shooting three rounds in the air. Affinity woke up in shock from the loud noise, looking around in sudden panic.

Razor rose from the ground, taking his belongings and moving into the still young night.

"Razor, what're you-"

"-We're gonna keep moving, find a plane and get to Spain, besides, we won't be seen so easily at night,"

"I thought you said we'd walk,"

"Yeah, well walking is taking too damn long,"

"Razor, is there a problem?"

"No, now let's go,"

"Razor, tell me if there's a problem, please, I have to know if you're okay,"

He didn't stop, "Somethings even you won't understand, Affinity,"

"Then help me understand, Razor, help me see what's wrong,"

"Nothing. Is. Wrong,"

"Razor, wait,"

"No,"

"Wait, just listen-"

"No, Affinity!" Razor stopped, then sighed, "No," he said softly, "these are rough times for us all, and... this is something I need to deal with alone,"

She went to her beloved, "You don't have to do anything alone, Razor, I will do everything I can to help you in any struggle,"

Razor pulled his scarf up to his face, looking away from Affinity.

"I can tell that you had a very harsh childhood," She said.

He suddenly looked back at her, a fire blazing in his eyes.

"Every chapter is written in the scars on your body..."

He kneeled down to her, feeling her gentle hoof brush the side of his face through the scarf.

"I can see how painful it is, I know what you went through as your mother passed, you told me what troubled you,"

Razor's eyes widened, he remembered those days vividly. His mother was sick, stricken with cancer. He was next to her death bed, and held her hand the whole time, feeling it slowly go limp as she passed away in front of him. He remembered how he pleaded and screamed, begging for his mother to come back to him. A tear rolled down his cheek, his heart speared with an agonizing pain, a rip in the fragile flesh that couldn't be healed.

"I'm here, Razor, I know you've lost something important to you, and I know I could never be a replacement, just be strong for me,"

Be strong... he thought, How strong?

"Affinity," Razor began, "I want you to go out and search for a secluded spot, someplace we can make camp for the next time. Wait for me there, I'll be able to find you through GPS, got it?"

Affinity shook her head, "I'm with you to the end, Razor,"

Razor found no point in arguing, and continued on with the journey.

"We'll need to get to a new place to sleep for the day, keep traveling by night, and avoid being seen by any possible threats, I need you to scout it out, and wait for me, there should be plenty of provisions with you,"

"Got it," she said, "and Razor, please be careful,"

"I will, Affinity, no need to worry about me anymore,"

Affinity flew off to find a suitable resting place, while Razor continued on foot. He needed time to think, to sift through all his violent, blood stained memories and thoughts. Again and again, he was mentally tormented by Esther, the strange entity that had grown to him and his hatred.

"What are you going to do? Kill what's left of humanity?"

"Get out of my head," Razor said, clutching his brow, "I don't want to be like that, I don't want to be angry, I'm not angry!"

"Never lie to yourself,"

"Shut up, I'm not angry, I'm just... just..."

"Enraged"

"No! I'm not angry, I'm scared! I'm confused! My mind is..."

"Contaminated"

"Get out of my head!"

"I seek to be your aid, let me protect you,"

"Affinity protects me,"

"She knows not of how deep your scars go, how charged with punishments hell is, how distorted and perverse reality has become for you,"

"Am I going insane?"

"Child, you already are..."

Razor fell to his knees, clutching his head aggressively, tearing hair from his head. He banged on the grassy ground hard, bruising his hands and was nearly crying.

"Stop! Stop!" He screamed, "STOOOOOOP!"

Razor bolted upright, hearing noise coming form behind him, three men, having found him.

"Hey, buddy, are you alright?" one asked.

"You're not real," Razor said, "None of you are real, get away from me!"

"Hey, listen, we're here to help," another said getting closer.

"Stay away from me!" Razor lashed out with a knife, cutting deep into the man's stomach.

"Gaaaah! Jesus Christ!"

Razor finished it with a stab in the throat, with the same skill he had before. He lunged onto the second one, slicing the throat madly. The third tackled him, tumbling with him onto the ground. Razor easily wrestled his way on top, flailing out and striking painfully.

"You're. Not. Fucking. Real." Razor said. holding the gore stained knife close to his victim's head.

"Wait! Stop!"

Razor thrust in, a sickening crack of collapsing bone echoing in his clouded ears. He stabbed over and over again savagely, mutilating the man mercilessly. Blood splattered all over his clothes, mask, and hands, bits of gore getting tossed in several directions. He brutally murdered those who wanted to help him.

"Do you see all those who are distorted into horrors, let me help you, I want you to be happy,"

Panting, Razor said, "I'm cold, bring me something warm,"

"Of course, my friend," Esther said, "I wrap you in my finest cloak, now, please be happy,"

Esther was beside him, having form and everything he carried with him. Razor was indeed wrapped in his cloak, being warmly wrapped in the shadowy, ethereal silk.

"I will protect you from your mind, friend,"

Author's Note:

Razor begins to show vulnerability.

Comments

[Havelock]

Guys, I have no idea if you can see this, but Affinity isn't looking good from my perspective. Please either comment here or PM me on what should be done with this story. Also check out the blog post on it and comment there on what should be done, if you'd like. As of now, I am considering simply scrapping this story in favor of something else. Tell me what you think.