Firefly is a proud mother of a Equestrian Games athlete, Rainbow Dash. After witnessing her daughter's team qualify for the games, she decided to rekindle her flying daredevil spirit. That is until she met up with her daughter.
I write suspense and fantasy story. Also I would write an uplifting story as well.
Firefly is a proud mother of a Equestrian Games athlete, Rainbow Dash. After witnessing her daughter's team qualify for the games, she decided to rekindle her flying daredevil spirit. That is until she met up with her daughter.
.........This I like OwX
Bad grammar is bad
3838133
tell me how it is.
3838140 ...i cant tell if you're being sarcastic....
But you messed up all your past, present and future tenses into one big confusing mess! You also made words plural that did not need to be plural!
3838207
Let me assure you, I am not sarcastic. I ask you what do I do wrong in this story. It's part of my learning as a writer.
so, thank you for telling me that.
3838223 from your reply I'm gonna take a guess and say english is not your first language. Am i correct?
3838237
Unfortunately, it is my first language. I had a little trouble with grammar.
But hey, if you read Gone Batty, I bet it is worse than this.
3838250 ooooooohhhh........are you 10-12?
3838279
I'm in my twenties.
Autism.
3838292 Autism? Which kind? Because I'm pretty sure there are different versions of Autism...
3838318
I'm a high-functioning Asperger.
3838529 to be honest, I have no idea what to say to this, so I wont say anything at all. I can however help you when you're writing! you got a google.doc account?
3838539
I appreciate for your help. Judging with your account you seem to be an experienced writer. Again thanks.
If your talking about that I had a google account, then yes. Unless google.doc account is another thing to sign in.
P.S. I barely finished reediting this story. Thanks for pointing that out.
3838569 yes a google.doc is a google account...so whats your email?
3838576
um... Not in the comment section.
3838594 i've given you access to one of my google.docs, should be called zzzzebra...dont ask. Anyway...i really need someone to read it and tell if the characters seem...in character. I cant get anyone so far!
3838614
Okay, that story have managed to gripped hold of me with questions. That is a pretty good hooker although what you gave me only ends when Fluttershy comforts Dash.
So yes, they are still in character. So you did well in writing them.
Good job.
3838676 its a re-write of my fic 'Lost Memories' probably should've explained before
grammar, this needs alot of work
3840577
How so?
3840614 the story was a good idea but you skipped alot of words causing the story to become choppy. "Firefly watches her daughter, Rainbow Dash waiting for her teammate to tag her. Her forelegs stood stiffly and her eyes fixes on a yellow pegasi, Fluttershy. Fluttershy make a turn then passes another set of hoops, gripping on the horseshoe. Rainbow hovers around as Fluttershy soaring toward her making a relay tag. The clock ticks into twenty seconds and Fluttershy holds up the horseshoe as Rainbow responds with her hoof. Firefly inhales deeply then as the two teammates pass the horseshoe."
Firefly watches her daughter, Rainbow Dash waiting for her teammate to tag her. Fireflies forelegs rigid with anticipation as her eyes fix upon the yellow pegasus, Fluttershy. Fluttershy makes a turn proceeding through another set of hoops, gripping the baton. Rainbow hovers in position as Fluttershy soars towards her to make her relay tag. The clock winds down as the hand passes the twenty second mark as Fluttershy nears, she holds forth her hoof as Rainbow holds out her own readying for the pass. Firefly holds her breath in anticipation as the two teammates make the baton pass.
Just a sample of what an editor could bring to the table, and do note it could be even better if i wasn't new to this myself. Also its pegasus for anything singular with only a few exceptions.
3840744
Would you consider yourself as an editor?
3840744
Maybe it's not just grammar I need to work on. It's the flow I do need to work on.
3840772 Wish i could be an editor but there were alot of things i couldn't fix. Sorry, there are groups on here that would jump at the chance to help tho. sadly i have ADD and could barely write that without stopping