Sombra did something stupid. Why to humiliate her? To "punish" later?

Hmmm go on

CHapter is quite good. In doubt discretion of the agent from rebels. He behaves too openly in a place which is looked through by Sombra from all corners.
Being the human, the protagonist wasn't bright one. She hid the list with components for the explosive device under a pillow. The first servant will find this leaf and will bring it Sombra.
The protagonist signed death sentence to herself.
As a whole everything is quite good. I wait for continuation.

There are many points were the wrong word is used, has this been proofread by anyone?

Do we really know if this new Rose is not under control? The collar seems to have some sort of power over her and a connection to Sombra.

4405264

Don't want to spoil all the nasty suprises do you?

Also can you please point out these errors to me, I'd be greatful.

Hmm, yes, yeees, this looks great!...
The seeds of the story are hinted. Everything seems to move just fine.
True, the 'mystery stallion' was acting weird, as an other commenter pointed it out, but the rebels' existence prooves that the stallion couldn't be a trick. Or could it?

Nevertheless, I'm happy to see the actions, how she bathed and such.
Sombra's trickery is entertaining as well, I wonder, what's the purpose?
I'm waiting for the next chapter, hurry up!

-Zeph

Every pony's horny for Sombra don't you know. I love how you're portraying Sombra here. Awesome job.

4404795 She's his toy. He enjoys "playing" with her for no other reason than enjoyment.

:D

...

That all I have to say

4406059
Dunno. One cant place "toy" on queens seat and make her horny. Its embarassment for court.
But this this clopfic we are talkin about. Porn doesnt need much logic.

Oh dear, looks like our little protagonist is in a bit of a pickle! I can't wait to see what happens next!

Keep up the good work.

4407457 I don't really think Zombra cares what others think of him.

4405276

I’m one of the only ones aloud.

I think you may have meant allowed. While somebody is speaking those words and people can misspeak, it's strange that it's the same sound.

You wish you could be along, away from all of these beady eyes.

alone.

I'm not really an editor or anything so I've probably missed a lot but those two minor mistakes detracted from the story imo. Along can imply being with another depending on usage so unless Sombra is causing Rose to be conflicted at that moment in time, it's a small typo.

4407457 i dont think its one cus this is the ony chater with it