Hey guys, as the authors note said, this was a guest chapter from my friend alCROWholic.
If you liked this chapter be sure to let him know and/or check out some of his stuff.

...I don't know if I like this chapter or not...

I'm back. As usual, expect spoilers.

Minting Penny
This reminded me, in a good way, of Project: Sunflower - before that story jumped the shark and turned into epic adventure with black and green edgy OC alicorn time!!!, that is. Except, the scientists (and military) are even more overtly asshole-ish. There are some minor and apparently-typical grammar mistakes, including odd sentence structures and sentences that should be separated instead of joined. The pacing also feels a bit rushed outside of the transformation sequence (which seemed a bit odd in referencing clinical names for bones in a first-person narrative's heat of the moment, but otherwise good), particularly in conversation with the Mane Six.

Despite some of the flaws, this story is generally strong on technical points (except pacing - please, slow down and play out the important scenes, I will love you even more). I really rather enjoyed the work as a whole, as it was pretty smooth reading and the plot itself was fine.

Not much of a clopfic though, I agree. I'm not sure if it was meant to be; there is some obvious sexual detail and two orgasms, but the clop just isn't there. Instead, it feels more like being violated, and like yet another indignity suffered by the protagonist, than something to get off to.

Technical: 7.5
Readability: 9
Cloppability: 2
Overall: 8.5
Suggested Dark rating: 4. Between the situation on Earth in general, the asshattery going on in the labs (both in general and to the protagonist), and the ending, honestly, that was pretty dark. Not super-horror-grimdark, but giving it a 1/10 is way too low.

Misty's Moonlight Ranch
I think I've given my feedback on this story before, when it was on a blog. Let me know if my memory's making an idiot of me, and I'll expand on this. I enjoyed it quite a bit.

Technical: 8.5
Readability: 9.5
Cloppability: 3-4 (6-7 if seriously into bestiality, I guess)
Overall: 8.5
Suggested Dark rating: 3. 4 for the "bad" ending.

Forgotten Depths
Ow. My everything. While the story had a fair degree of brute-forced darkness, it feels just that: forced. The introductory cave-diving thing just takes way too long as an introduction. The changes of perspective don't really work; it feels like reading separate stories, instead of one, and switching to Harold and seeing how they got separated just made me feel like the whole thing was contrived and full of both protagonists holding the Idiot Ball far too long. The story is also full of awkward phrasing, odd choice of words, missing words, bizarre sentence structures, and... this. Whatever this is:

Harold moaned as her winking clit

winking clit

Um...

I think I should stop the technical point critique there, before I sound like I hate the chapter, which I don't. The transformation, imprisonment/drowning, and mind control in Harold's section even teased the masochist in me just a bit.

This is a definite shot at a clop story, but the sex is full of cliche or comical lines and is very tell-y. It just isn't very interesting.

Technical: 3
Readability: 7
Cloppability: 4
Overall: 4
Suggested Dark rating: 4. Kind of like with the Charlie chapter, darkness has a lot to do with its delivery, and this one just kind of lobs it at you without any subtlety.

And that's my two bits.

I enjoyed this. Few issues made it a little more funny that it should be tho.

I wasn't going to leave a comment, but....this chapter was...odd. I'm open to TF, changeling, chrysalis, and all that; It's the story telling that got me here because it seemed forced and quite bland actually. Dark rating 4

John shaky lifted a hoof, prodding and poking herself.

And then Ryan became John, Changeling Queen Extraordinaire!

There were a few issues with tenses here and there, nothing too bad.

Don't worry, harold, they'll figure out a better name for you, you dirty mare!

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Wow, people were really on the fence with that last chapter, and I don't think I've ever gotten so few comments from a chapter before. I mean, honestly now... 1300 people read it but I got just 5 comments

I honestly thought more would have enjoyed it, but don't get me wrong, I don't blame any of guys for not feeling it. It's not your fault, it's mine. Anyway, I admit ovipositioning and incest can be pretty niche fetishes. And I guess the format of this one just didn't click with people.

Oh well, to me it was still it was a fun attempt at this sort of dark story.

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Mmm, as always somebadauthor, I am extremely thankful for the full review (even more so after I winded up with very few other comments on ch8.) Thanks for the details and the specific suggestions for improvement! Keep being awesome my friend~

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It is! It's really the exact same story.

Originally I "published' it just in my blog since I didn't know if it was "MLP-related enough" to make it past the publication guidelines here on FimFic.

But then like six months later I made this compilation fic and I realized I could throw it in as an extra chapter here

The only thing I changed was the name of the protagonist (and thus, the name of the story). I did that because I had already used the name "Penny" in another chapter and didn't want two chapters with the same protagonist name.

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ovipositioning and incest

Oh don't get me wrong. I enjoy incest fics and the occasional oviposition changeling fic (based on writing ability). It's the story telling that got me sideways here. The incest (gay nonetheless) is o.k. in my book, but it seemed like....it was empty. the second half (with the pony instead of the dude) was a little better but that would be cheating since there was mind control and the reader would expect mindlessness and obedience. The behavior of lil'bro (libido, get it? yeah not funny...) was feeling a bit more like chrysalis had mind controlled him from afar, speaking with an emotionless voice kinda. Rather than provided 'he was influenced'. Okay...so I know I'm not good at communicating what I think, but I think you get it....

4136652 Time for a new poll to decide the next chapter?

Mmm this one I really like. More please?

well as somebadauthor said. the stories are nice and i like them, through you cant clop to the most of the stories which a bit saddens me

Any thoughts on doing a sequel to "the most generous of cows"?

The idea occurred to me after I saw this image

http://utrale.deviantart.com/art/Raricow-TF-429133490

That you could do a follow up with Raricow's milk having the same effects as the potion she drank. She could thus "Generously" infect the whole two through one of the following methods

1)She's infected the entire Apple Acres milk supply through her use of the auto-milker and it spreads to the town from there, from Sugarcube corner using the milk in baking to the typical milk cartoon route

2) She left behind that 'milk bath' back at Carousel Boutique, and Sweetie Belle seems conspicuously absent in this story maybe she found it take thinking it was one of her big sisters beauty treatments and wanting to be more like her took a dip, or Fluttershy comes by looking for Rarity for their Spa day finds it and does so, either that or the CMC find it and use it to set up their own milk stand or make cheese for cheese sale.

Either that or how about somepony going to the beach and being transformed into a seapony, it could be something in the water, or you could do it like the cows make them animals and the ponies get bitten and start changing. I could see the pair of Fluttershy and Rainbow having this happen to them and Fluttershy enjoying it as her cares and worries melt away and Rainbow in a panic as she watches her precious wings melt away.

Either that or there is always the concept of Saddle Arabia, maybe someone gets added to a prince's breeding harem and is either broken by the prince, her harem or is mentally affected by a magical artifact to like being a breeder.

Rape, Ovi& Incest.
I blame my dog.

Please do more?

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suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/14709097/images/1303689336437.jpg

More please?

Oh the comment was for toy swap btw, my apologies

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I find it kinda sad, but also thoroughly arousing. Sad in the way his old life is gone , and replaced with a new one, which is half fine cos by sounds of things he forgot his old life anyway, which I assume is what happened with the human before him, though his motives are unclear.

There is a lot more to be had here, but I also understand why it is how it is sadly enough .

Yo, TS! Since the best work of fiction to grace my computer screen is done, why have you not updated this?

4785642
I'm working 80 hour weeks this summer, and haven't had any real time to write anything for months.

Thankfully, my August is slightly less busy, so I should have an afternoon here and there to write something. I have my next chapter all lined out and ready to type too! Expect it in the next week or two at most.

Want to know what it's about?
Here's a big hint, remember this pic?
fc07.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2014/018/2/4/aj_final2_by_acesential-d72r57l.jpg

4788783 OH DOG, ALL OF MY YIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIS!!!!!!!!!

this was a great story you need to make a sequel include the changeling take on earth would be a nice plot point

The clopping continued getting closer still, he tugged at his leg, trying once again with all his might to get free.

hehehe clopping

4788783
Hey, is this story on hiatus now, or is the next chapter still in the works?

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It's still in the works, I'm just sort of coming off hiatus. More details here: http://www.fimfiction.net/blog/422328/oh-hey-everybody

Long story short, I should have it updated by February.

Not a bad compilation.
My faves were Big Mac's and Chrysalis' tales.

AIP§

Everybody shut up! I have an erection! And the only cure is more clop chapters like Forgotten Depths!

5937496
..... no, Kinda wish I had XD

any chance on a sequel of the spell books one?

I noticed that 24 weeks have come and gone since last response here. Wondering if new chapter soon?

6364239 Sorry man, I got shit to do; can't bowl with you right now :/

More please!

Is it dead?

6569632 I believe so, yes.

I love this collection of clop stories I would like to see more of them unless you don't have any intention that is

I like this story will there be more

Updates?

More sexy TG please!

Love this series, hope to see more of it someday

8731768
First of all: three years late.

Second of all: What?

A moment later the gap widened even further,

Ryan began to panic more,

Harold must have been in a rush to get away from where he landed.

His new form would not need much muscle on the limbs.

looking over at the monster that was his brother.

even for a horse of her size.

She’ll rut Harold whenever she wants to.

“Our children will be amazing.”

her face into her Queen’s chest.

They would soon give rise to twelve adolescent drones,

9525468
Points to his own user name. More than a few folks also call me Penny. Bad Penny, Penny Dreadful, etc.

So, what exactly updated to put this in the featured box?

11037399
It is strange. As soon as I got the mail that there is a new chapter to this I clicked, but nothing was there and as chapter name in the e mail preview is only ? there. I would love to read a story with 3375 words for this anthology.

11037399
True, true.

Yeah, something went weird. I guess there was an issue with the newest chapter that meant it didn’t actually get posted or something?
The existing stories are just as good as I remember them though, so that’s nice.

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Not the first time I see something this. Not so long ago, this story also got bumped despite having no new chapter. Wonder what caused that glitch?

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Apologies everyone, truth be told I was formating some files last night in a blank unpublished chapter (using it as a Pastebin of sorts) and when I finished I accidentally hit 'Publish' instead of delete. I immediately fixed the mistake, but alas, the notifications already probably got sent out for no reason.

Condolences! But I hope you all are well, say hi to your families for me, and all the rest of those pleasantries.