You've Got Mail...

by Kiue Jin

Second Entry

Entry 2

Girls, I want to thank you for reawakening my urge to create, again. and reawakened a life I thought I had left behind. I'm reconnecting with old freinds, and making my own magic. Friendship really is magic, and I have magic back again.

Twilight: i know what it is to be lost for hours in a book, or researching something, losing yourself in words and phrases, and, yes, even in a bit of magic. the laws of this world make everything outside of it a fantasy (which SOMEponies, to use your own metaphores, don't understand, here). sometimes, you never stop being a student.

Miss Fluttershy, just be yourself (and tell Angel to behave!)

Dash, I've got a MAJOR crush on you. heck, you give ME wingboners! some of us don't care which way your barn door swings, but, dayam, mare...it makes me wanna propose!

AJ, I know smarts ain't your cup a Apple Cider. it's just durn nice to see a touch o country mare tha ain't all in yer face, er is dumber than the barn door. an tell MAc we're a lookin foreward to seein ifn he gets somepony one o these days

Miss Rarity: don't be ashamed or embarassed about your parents. they embarass you till the day you die, and vice versa. wish we had somepony here that had your skills. i could use some advice on attracting somepony (oh, smack blueblood a good one, willya?)

(waves HARD through the fourth wall at Pinkie)

Spike: i bet it's hard growing up with all them (for now) icky females, but you'll get used to it. don't ever forget that your a part of their family, too, and always will be *noogies*

a special note to Princess Luna:there will always be people of the night. even here, they feared it, but no more. there will always be stargazers, moonwatchers, and lovers of the night. be thou not afeared, for over time, thee will be accepted for what thou art.
besides, thou art a hot momma!

and tell Tia some of us wouldn't mind her as a big sister!

to the CMC, never give up, never surrender, and pass on what you've learned to other foals, colts and fillies alike. don't you give up either, Scoot! some of us just wanna adopt you right NOW!

Miss Octavia: music is one of my passions, even if it's not classical. I may not be able to handle an intrument myself, but it still is a part of me

*utterly hugs the muffins out of Derpy/Ditzy* we love you, out here.

and for everypony else, thanks for bringing joy.

From a wannabe Pegasus
Chocolate Flash

.................................................................................................

Dear Chocolate Flash,

I'm not sure exactly how you managed to do it, but when I woke up this morning I found myself covered in yellow sticky notes covered in what I assume is your writing. After employing Spike's help in removing them (I was planning on taking up Rarity's offer to style my mane anyway...) I spent all morning trying to translate as much of your writing as possible. Once I figured out that what you were writing was not a completely new language and was simply really poor grammar on your part, I was able to send most of your messages off to their rightful recipients.

I am glad that we have somehow taught you the value of friendship... even through we don't know how you learned about us researching the power of Friendship in the first place...

I'm having a hard time understanding what you mean by the laws of the world meaning everything outside of it is treated as fantasy... Unless you are talking about Star Swirl the Bearded's unfinished 'Chow Mein Noodle Theory'. According to legend, Star Swirl the Bearded was sampling a dish of Chow Mein when he saw the very nature of the cosmos in his dish. He was able to write down how our reality was merely one noodle in a giant bowl of noodles that might look the same as ours on the surface but were different in both small and large ways when a meteorite crashed through his roof before smashing into the back of his head.

But... The fact that you are writing to me in the first place might just help PROVE that Star Swirl's theory was correct! I have to put my research into OVERDRIVE!

Hey mate, Spike here. Twilight just started shouting 'Yes Yes Yes' over and over again while bouncing towards the basement. I predict a major research session in the near future.

I have to admit that being the only guy in a group of females can be rather trying at times. It seems that no matter how hard I try I can never win any of the arguments that sometimes break out between me and Twilight (Half the time her arguments don't even make sense, but she still wins them!) but that's how family works. Sometimes you love them unconditionally and want nothing more then the be around them, other times you just want to wrap your hands around their throat and squeeze till they stop talking about reorganizing books!

But I digress...

I got a couple of replies from some of the others who you sent messages to. I'll just add them onto the bottom here...

…..................................................................

To Chocolate Flash,

I'm not surprised in the least that you have a crush on me. Hell, when you're as Awesome as me you have to beat Stallions (and sometimes Mares) off with a stick. A very sharp, pointy stick. Covered in wisps trained to sting lust driven Stallions and Mares. But I don't have time in my life to take on a special somepony right now. I have to keep training in order to FINALLY get into the wonderbolts. Just imagine how much MORE Awesome I would look in a wonderbolt outfit then I do now.

That's right, the sheer level of Awesomeness would mean I wouldn't be able to walk down the street without every single wing on that street getting boned!

Maybe someday, if you work really hard, you'll be a third as Awesome as me.

From, Rainbow Dash.

…........................................................................................

To Chocolate Flash,

I would like to take the time to say thanks for writing to me and my kin. I don't mean to be rude or anything, but what in Celestia are you talking about? Are you implying that all farmers are slow or considered stupid?! HOW DARE YOU! I SHOULD HUNT YOU DOWN AND BUCK YOU IN THE FACE LIKE THE HORRIBLE LITTLE PONY YOU ARE!

Don't write to me or my family again until you can show some basic manners.

Signed, Applejack.

…............................................................................................

Dear Mr Flash,

While I have no idea how you know about my parents (I will be having a conversation with Sweetie Belle about talking to strangers again) I would like you to know that I am not ashamed to be their daughter. They are two of the kindest, sweetest and most hard working ponies I could ever know. I have no doubt that the world would be a better place if there were more ponies like them... I just wish they would take some of my fashion advice every once in a while...

While I enjoy the fact that somepony out there has heard about my designs, I don't think I would be able to make myself move away from Ponyville any time soon. Thank you for the offer, but for the time being my place is here.

As for your suggestion for bucking the brute Blueblood right in the face... A proper lady would never sink so low as to track down such a horrible man with the sole intent of causing him pain. Now if you excuse me, I'm going to have a brief word with Applejack and Rainbow Dash about... hammers and their many possible applications.

From the writing desk of Ms Rarity, Owner of Carousel Boutique.

........................................................................................

CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS LETTER WRITERS GO!

While we don't know who you are Mr Flash, we're so thrilled that somepony out there is supporting us in our crusade and... Scootaloo since when have you been an orphan?

Scootaloo? Hey, don't grab the

HOW DID YOU KNOW?! WHAT ARE YOU, SPYING ON ME OR SOMETHING?! YOU KNOW WHAT? YES! I'M AN ORPHAN. I ADMIT IT. I LOST MY PARENTS WHEN I WAS VERY YOUNG AND I DIDN'T WANT MY FRIENDS TO KNOW ABOUT IT BECAUSE I DIDN'T WANT THEM TO PITY ME OR ANYTHING LIKE THAT. I WAS GOING TO TELL THEM WHEN I WAS READY BUT NO! YOU HAD TO GO AND RUIN EVERYTHING BY TELLING THEM, DIDN'T YOU?!

Scootaloo, we never would have thought ill of you if you had told us. We had no idea...Hang on, if you don't have parents, who was that happy gentlecolt that danced with you during the father-daughter dance at school?

...Paid actor...

Um...I'm sorry, but we're going to have to end this here. Scootaloo is crying and Sweetie Belle is trying to calm her down. I need to go help her too...

Signed, the Cutie Mark Crusaders.

….....................................................................................

To thy humble servant, Chocolate Flash,

It might not seem like much, but thy words brought a smile to our... my face. Forgive us, but we are still getting used to the more modern tongue. While thy words might only appear to be words to thee, just hearing them uplifts my spirits and allows us... me to try to make the night sky as beautiful and creative as possible.

Thy 'Hot momma' comment is rather confusing. I am not a mother and after checking my temperature I am not overly hot. I am a perfectly acceptable temperature for a pony my size and breed. Celestia is generally a few degrees hotter then normal ponies, but seeing as how she is the goddess of the sun it all balances out in the end.

When I asked Celestia just what thy meant when thy said I was a 'Hot Momma' she burst out laughing. We can still hear her laughing from a few rooms away and I honestly do not understand why. Is there some sort of joke that I have somehow missed?

Thank thee for thy time in writing to us,

Princess Luna.

….............................................................

To Mr Flash,

I would like to take the time to say how thankful I am to receive your letter, but I am afraid that I am simply bogged down so much while dealing with our latest tour that I simply do not have time to go any further then that. I am sorry if this reply seems shorter then you expected but time is of the essence.

Hope to see you at one of the stops on the tour,

Lady Octavia.

….......................................................

That appears to be all of them. We haven't been able to locate Fluttershy after she fled the dragon migration and no one has seen Derpy the mailmare for a while now. Pinkie is currently outside the library, waving at a wall. Sweet Celestia that mare worries me sometimes...

I guess I should wrap this up and go offer to help Twlight out... or head over to Rarity's house for a while in order to get out of Twilight's mane. Thank you for the yellow sticky note messages. But next time, try not to post them on Twilight. Her mane is a mess.

Signed by Spike, assistant and representative of Twilight Sparkle.

AN: I'm quite proud of how quickly and how well this came together. I was assuming that this would be a lot shorter and harder to put together then it was . I guess I am just on a roll. Plus the fact that it was so quickly and wildly accepted was a major boost to me.

Now I just need to work out how to get a bloody cover picture up and all would be well..

Goodnight Everybody!

Comments

[Tony Flash]

i LOVE the way you kept AJ in perfect character! it's so perfect, now I have to apologize

*puts everything on a single piece of notepaper, this time*

Twi: pardon the grammar and spelling, I have a learning disability that messes with my body, and it doesn't do what my head tells it. I'm still learning to live with a lot of it. i get the idea behind Starswirl's "chow mein noodle" theory, though. and for pete's sake...take a break from the research every now and then! (this universe has a set of rules in it that kinda blocks a lot of stuff from happening unless it's from the other end, I think)

someone tell AJ I'm sorry, already. if they'd stop showing country gals as all flank and no brains, or trying to be Nightmare Moon and manipulate everybody to better her own situation over here, and make em normal mares for a change... I can't help it, ya ain't the only country pony around here, AJ! my tongue's kinda blunt.

Madame Rarity, I also apologise to you. we have seen your parents before they went on vacation, and believe I saw some frustration, there (and, no, madame, there are some things we do NOT observe. there are a few gentlcolts around even here in the country, and i can be...discreet)

Scoot, I guessed! everything we've seen so far says it! you HAVE a family, though, they're sitting right beside you! (AB, Sweeitie, would you apologize to your sisters for me, please?)
PS: you'll fly someday, just keep believing.

Luna, thou art incredibly sexy (and tell thy sister to keep an eye on her faithful student when she has time. I am quite concerned that twilight shall take things too far again in her research)

yes, Twi, I'm worried about you. we have small windows into Equestria available to us in this particular universe I write from.

PS: spike, I just watched you deal with a bunch of teenage dragons. reminded me of my time at that age. love to see you fly someday, too.

CF"

oh, I think I saw a picture submission thing somewhere. some of us don't have an idea what to put in for a picture, though

pardon the hamming, here

[Kiue Jin]

341090

I have to admit, when I first saw your letter I couldn't really get past the rushed and therefore poor grammar. But then I thought 'Hang on, I can use this to my advantage!'

And thus I did.

I'm not sure if I did Rainbow Dash right... It was something of a toss up between her panicking that someone was watching her rather closely, or taking it in stride and using it to boost her ego. I picked the latter. I already have someone else in mind for having a nervous break down about being watched.

It might take a few updates before I can reply to your reply letter. I sort of want to post letters in the order they arrived in. So it will be happening within the next three chapters or so.

I also managed to get the picture up at last. Turns out there was a glitch with the website or something. Seems to be fixed now.

[Tony Flash]

341118

no problem, take your time. i love the way you worked my real-life crappy grammar into it (i really do have Dyspraxia, a leaning disability)

yes, dash is right on the nose. I had to bite back a sarky comment about a perfect example of shallow, which means you hit her right on.

I'm looking forward to the other reactions.

[wolfgirl66]

Dear Luna,
Being a hot momma, means you are beautiful. Tell Celestia I think your more beautiful than her.

[wolfgirl66]

341204 *you're