Abalidoth
Joined 11th Jul, 2011 ·
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Ah yes, I remember reading this on Equestria Daily.
Good read then, good read now. This world needs more TwiPie, a.k.a. the best ship.
Always great to see a great story on fimfiction.
I remember seeing this on fanfiction.net, great seeing it here!
I thoroughly enjoyed the story there and now I can enjoy it here! Yay!
Cheers,
jangledorf
Oh god I love this story. xD
Thanks for uploading it to this site, been waiting a while!
I am NOT a TwiPie fan in the slightest, Pinkie Pie represents every archetype that I really despise. But, this was really pleasant and cute to read. It could've very easily turned dark and depressing, with Twilight in the hospital with 20-some-odd injuries, trying to get Pinkie Pie back, but your explanation was better. I liked it a lot. You made it cute and shippy without getting too adult about it, you handled the female/female relationship very nicely.
The door bit with Rarity was just classic. I half-expected Fluttershy, given that she's such a powderkeg of unstoppable rage, but Rarity would've been my next guess. Applejack's hesitance was a good touch, especially in the face of Twilight's logic. Now, this being from first person gave a whole set of unique challenges, and the booksmart vocabulary of Twilight's inner thoughts was just perfect. Even Pinkie Pie broke the 4th wall to ask if she was monologuing to herself and that was adorable. Many fics explore the idea of Pinkie Pie breaking the 4th wall none too subtly, but the quick and funny reference was just enough spice to acknowledge the hyper mare's power. Well done.
You've DEFINITELY got the talent to write cute and romantic, I certainly enjoyed every bit of it. None of the story felt unnecessarily, and it all tied itself into a neat little bow at the end. I'm pleased. This was very good. Cheers!
I have this faved on FF.net. Heh.
Though when you copied this over, you left out a couple of bits.
Very cute. Glad I noticed this.
Yessssssss, the best Twinkie ship is finally on this site! Favourited, tracked, thumbs-up, offer to have your babies, etc, etc.
I love this
This is excellent! Ah, I have no other words. This is just...fantastic.
Thanks for the comments, everyone! Special thanks to those who pointed out that the story didn't copy over cleanly... sigh. I waited this long to post the story so that I could make sure the formatting was perfect, and somehow I end breaking it even more. Ah well.
I think I fixed everything; if I didn't, let me know!
I love this fic, it was one of the first fanfics I ever read.
One of my favorites. Now I can +fav it on here!
We are amazed at how well the emotional elements are portrayed. I've actually been there, and yes you did it great justice. It was almost heartbreaking in how beautiful it was portrayed. I heard the cicadas, I felt the rain.
While I am a bigger fan of Dashie Pie
shipping, my better half clearly prefers Twinkie.
Both are good in my book. We will prolly be arguing over this one for a few days, lol. Flawless portrayal of the characters, I could her them in my head. And any voice I can hear over the crowd in my head is usually a good thing. Twilight Dorkle FTW.
SO happy to see this make it over to Fimfiction. Yay!
I think you cut out a bit by accident!:
>I closed the book and put it away. “That would be wonderful. Thank you.”
>your marefriend”) but I'd convinced Rarity that Spike was very interested in the art of millinery, and she had agreed to give him hat-making lessons on Tuesdays at three. The only challenging part had been getting Pinkie to agree to dates on a regular schedule. Once I was done with that bit of negotiation, everypony was happy with the arrangements.
284692
Thanks for the catch! I fixed it. If nothing else, this experience has told me not to trust fimfiction's "import from Google Docs" function.
Does anyone else know a way to move a document from LibreOffice to here without losing any of the formatting?
Delicious story, delicious Twinkie, delicious writing. Ooh and a delicious cookie, thanks ... Pinkie ...
While this is short, it is incredibly well-written, and I certainly enjoyed seeing the more introverted side of Pinkie Pie
A little late but I feel I have to say.
This is the best Ship Fic I have ever read.
No. Fucking. Contest.
The epicnes levels of this ship are way over the charts.
before this fic, I never understood Twinkie. I saw cute pictures of them together and such, but I've never read a fic with the both of them shipped together and now, after reading this fic.....
i1257.photobucket.com/albums/ii509/AvaneaHA/Gifs/Ishipit.gif
Thank you for that wonderful story.
717493
Twinkie even pleases the God of Thunder! I am humbled.
718050
Whoa, that is freaky. Not only did I predict "Twilight+Pinkie+time travel" way before it happened, but that too.
HAGRBAKRGSDBUSYBDU!
THIS IS KIND OF ADORABLE! I love how perfectly you pulled off psycho pinkie, I've never seen another fic get it right, but you totally did!
I love how much it builds too, it's an actual plot all in one chapter. Best thing was how it was so interesting, I loved how you completely explained the Pinkie Sense and your science was bucking SPOT-ON. Someone did their homework.
Thanks for the best Twinkie fic I've seen in a while!
834328
Thanks! I wanted to show Pinkie going crazy because she blamed herself for something, which I hadn't seen before when I wrote this fic. I'm glad I did a good job getting that across.
Excellent story!
I somehow missed this before now. Loved the characterizations and the way it worked out! Very touching that Twilight was willing to injure herself to bring Pinkie back (and something tells me that she would have kept doing it until it worked). 
I just...this...*dies*
This is the most perfect TwiPie story ever. You did amazingly. I just...I don't even know what to say. This story is so long, like 12k words, but it felt like it might have been only 1000. I just...love it. I swear, I could give you a better comment if I wasn't just sitting here in awe...now I have to go look at your other stuff. Please, never stop writing.
1366416
Aww, thank you!
The Cake's behavior just kills it for me. Not the fact that they actually acted that way toward Twilight, but that they're never called on it. They were way out of line, and they are never once reprimanded or apologize. Once I did a word search for their name on the page after that incident and find that they're not mentioned again, I just couldn't bring myself to finish the rest of the story, despite as good as it was otherwise. I'd just spend the rest of the story infuriated.
Edit: I ended up finishing it, and the sourness is still there over that incident. The Cakes should be ashamed of themselves, and it's aggravating that they got away with that. Otherwise this was a good story. And there aren't enough good Twipie stories out there.
2024080 I'm sorry that moment ruined the story for you. The reason they're not really called on it is that Twilight feels like their feelings were more or less justified with regard to her; she can't blame them for being protective of Pinkie, especially given limited information, when she herself feels like she's responsible for Pinkie absconding.
If it helps, they all had a nice talk afterwards about the misunderstanding and the Cakes grew to treat her as part of the family in time. I just didn't feel I needed to include that, and I couldn't work in a reference to the Cakes in the denouement without it sounding very forced.
Thanks for reading.
2089334
An apology. that's...uncomfortable. No need to apologize, it's your story. If people keep apologizing I'm going to have to keep my opinions to myself, lol. And that's just what they are, opinions. I don't see how the narrator summing up events to mention that Carrot Cake felt like a big jerk after that would seem forced...but if it seems forced to you, then it seems forced to you. Heck at least you played with the notion.
In any case I didn't dislike the story. It'd actually be pretty hard to mess up such a sweet and endearing Twipie. Well unless you threw in a love triangle that involved sex with both sides before the confused party came to a decision, or blatant cheating. Or breaking them up never to see one another again. Or Pinkie went all Cupcakes on Twilight ....there must be something wrong with me that's the second time I thought it appropriate to reference that today. Apparently I need a refill on brain bleach.
Anyway can't wait for the sequel. Ya know, where Twi and Pinkie makes babies! I kid.
Seriously though this is a good Twipie story. On that same note I'm going to rant a bit...: Doesn't the pairing just make perfect sense? I mean, personally I think Pinkie is a genius that simply refuses to think about what she's saying or doing. (which is how she would answer an obvious metaphor as if it were literal, but then be capable of reciting every technical thing Twilight said when asked what happened five minutes ago. She does have a photogenic memory right?)
So yeah...my favorite pairing. CHAOS and OBSESSIVE COM--I mean order.
Now I feel like a dick. I think it's your avatar...I do not wish to hurt the feelings of Princes Celestia XD Of course I didn't want to hurt your feelings in the first place, and I wasn't trying to be super negative. Your apology kinda makes me feel like I might have come off as more negative than I intended though.
2089449 Haha, I didn't mean to guilt trip you! I just genuinely feel bad when someone gets negative feelings out of one of my stories, given that I generally write them in order to make people feel good.
The kinds of stories you described (especially Cupcakes... augh) are exactly the sort of thing I was trying to avoid with this story, so I'm certainly glad you liked that aspect!
And I certainly agree with you on on the supremacy of Twinkie. Muahahaha.
Your first review did come off as a bit negative, but you have every right to be bothered by a certain aspect of the story! Don't worry, my feelings are harder to hurt than that.
(and I'm planning a sequel at some point. With kids, even.
)
2089966
I have a habit of not being able to put what I liked about a story into words, but being able to describe in full detail my thoughts on that one little bitty almost-insignificant thing I didn't like about a story.
Well crap. Foals! I wonder if the story will include Pinkie and Twilight's first time in bed together..
...no one writes good clopfics. Or hardly anyone. I've read a couple good romantic ones. It just ussually seems like if a story has even one sex scene that doesn't fade to black, the author just decides to throw plot and romance out the window and it just gets ugly half the time.
Of course, stories that do fade the black, or simply reference something that had happened the night before, without going into one iota of detail, would still achieve what I'd basically be looking for in something like that. (basically obsession with being nosy about the character's relationship progression) But ranting is fun so whatever.
I wonder how Twilight and Pinkie would have kids... Magical insemination? magically-induced temporary hermaphroditism?
2090030
Adoption, of course. Adoption under unusual circumstances, but still adoption. (I'm still hashing out a plot, but if I end up writing it it would take place quite a few years after the series.)
2091852
"Of course"? I fail to see how the answer was obvious :P
In a world of magic you're going with....Adoption. So no pink unicorns with hairstreaks then, or purple earth ponies with curly hair. darn.
Several years later.......well, crud. Personally I'd rather see an immediate continuation of the evolution of their relationship picking up from the end of the last story. I'm constantly finding stories that end right when the characters become an official couple, or stories that start out with characters already being a couple, but never get to lay witness to characters' relationship from it's start to several stages in it's progression. Plus the thought of "several years later" invokes my fear of time. Fortunately I appear to be in the minority on that kind of mindset, so there's bound to be plenty of people who enjoy the story if you choose to write it.
Browsing through the old classics... Yours came up once more.
I swear, I seem to be finding your name more and more once I notice it.
A perfect example of what this pairing could be. I enjoyed it from beginning to end, and I'm faving it so I can read it again later.
My goodness that was awesome! I'm still new to the site and alot of this fiction stuff so I never critique anything but, I can't be the only person who thinks that these fan pairings can feel so "right?" My thought process is far too random(darn it Pinkie) for me to review anything story related for a while.
I hope this sequel that has been mentioned will be as good as this.
Easily one of my favourite stories written. It's a very cheery, light romance and the scenes described are absolutely wonderful. They definitely appeal to me personally and gave myself a sensible view on a possible pairing. This story sort of bridged the paradoxically logical and illogical connection between Twilight and Pinkie and since reading this some time back on fanfiction.net.
All around very cute, cheery, and calm, with a dash of dramatic happenings. Makes the story easy to read and connect with.
Just... Yes. After forcing myself to read Cheerilees Garden, Rocket to insanity, and countless other creepy pastas, this was truly amazing.
Awwwwh! It's so beautiful :
I loved this story!
This was fantastic. I couldn't stop until the end. Incredibly well written.
My good Luna. That was fantastic. I do hope you have been featured and if not I see it being in your future at some point. This is going on my homepage.
3291497 this dude is beyond featured!
hey, You're featured!
I would like to thank you for making me believe in the possibility of Twinkie Pie. Not many authors can make that work for me. A true gem in my honest opinion.
Adorable
Yes to all of the above. Adorable, fun, and a great look at both of these characters.
Personally, I thought the story was going to go in a very different direction after the first date and the massive accident that befell Twilight. I really thought that the twist was going to be that Pinkie had actually faked the entire Pinkie Sense message as a clever way to get Twilight to try going out wither her. Much of the rest would have been very similar, as Pinkie would have still felt tremendously guilty, but this would also have tied into the "causality" theme a little better; by faking the Pinkie Sense message, did Pinkie cause the accident to happen?
I don't mean to tell you how you should have written your fic. I just got so excited about its premise that I couldn't stop myself!