The Cemetery in Romero's "Night of the Living Dead" was Hit by a Tornado After Production, Pulling Two-Hundred Bodies From Their Graves
I was shaking, no, more like rocking. The click-clack of polished steel rumbled beneath me, accompanied by the sound of rushing wind and a roaring engine. Everything around me, including the bench or table I lay on, felt like it was behind a fingernail, not my regular clothing. The sensations were odd, to be sure, but not quite as strange as the constant buzz in the back of my mind. I felt something similar to this before, during my brief scuffle with the Deceiver shortly after my narrow victory over Catach. The hivemind was very small here, only a glass of water compared to the veritable ocean of souls I'd touched in the main hive.
I recognized the voices of Chorion and Chrysalis, even the small murmurs of Arachni as she slept nearby. There were no drones, or perhaps very few and jurisdiction was handed to their mothers, but I could plainly feel the nineteen queens in close proximity. Well, eighteen queens and one Grand Matron was the grand total, though Chrissy barely seemed to match the signature I had felt during my first foray into the gestalt consciousness. The squeak of a marker on a whiteboard brought me from my little drift, though I still hadn't moved a muscle.
Upon opening my eyes, I saw nothing. There was a blank void before me, completely deficient in even blackness. At first, it thought it was perhaps a blanket, but there wasn't even the slightest trickles of light nor the necessary weight to block illumination. My eyes and rather impressive night vision lent me no aid in this, and I was immediately reminded of the visions I had been made to witness. That marker squeaked again, and a pressure moved across the plate in front of my face in time with the sound. I could do very little at the time; my toes had barely returned to me at the time. In fact, bits of me were only now starting to awaken.
“Was that really necessary?” Cadence asked, sounding none too pleased with something. That something probably involved Jay and my new facial protection. I really needed to figure out how to work this thing, because I think it's plugged into my spine. Wait... How the fuck am I supposed to relieve myself if this armor is attached to my central nervous system?
“Trust me, it's a tradition where we're from.” Yeah, hit the nail on the head with that one. Jay must have drawn on me, most likely the blank, bone-white surface of my helmet. If I couldn't see, it was probably because he had covered the portion of the mask over my eyes. A blinking, green light suddenly made me retract that statement. I still could not read what it said, but it resembled a loading screen, complete with a partially-filled bar and writing above it. “We are honor-bound to draw on our unconscious comrades' faces to aid in their recovery.”
“But why does it look so... weird?” I could practically hear Cadenza cock her head, and couldn't help but wonder what they were talking about. It didn't help that the loading had finished, but my view still remained dark, save for a drawing of my body, with orange slowly filling my extremities. As the color filled my body, the feeling also returned. I absolutely hated focusing on two things that both interested me, because giving priority to one meant missing something important about the other. “I mean, I'm familiar with the general shape, that much hasn't changed, but it looks kinda like a shovel.”
“That's because it's human.” Chrysalis finally broke the silence, and gave my mental beacon a test in close-range accuracy. However, I'm now certain Jay has drawn a dick on my mask. That shit better watch off or I'm breaking his legs. I'll fucking do it. The orange had finally inched up to the base of my neck, meeting the permanently-filled region of my head. The picture faded as my entire field of vision started to brighten. There was no noise as whatever external device controlled luminosity, but it ended at a comfortable level for my eyes while maximizing how well I could actually see. “What? I'm just getting that on the record.”
“I don't think Taylor is going to take this too well when he wakes up.” Cadence was the voice of reason for the group, which meant Luna was probably asleep right now. At that point, I was certain we were on a train headed for Canterlot, though I was curious as to why we hadn't stayed for the after party. Images began taking shape, first as various blobs of color, and then refining into a crystal-clear picture of the world within two-hundred degrees in front of me. Having a gigantic, wraparound eye was sweet so far. However, there was a slight darkness over some parts of my vision. “What if that doesn't wash off?”
“There I guess he's fucked.” I have such wonderful friends, don't I?
$%$%$%$%$%$%
Grand Matron Chrysalis stared out the window as the landscape rolled by. She and her sisters hadn't bother disguising themselves, not like they had enough energy to hold one for any real period of time without total exhaustion. The hivemind, the lifeblood of the changeling species, was broken and reforming far too slowly for anyone's liking. At least all of the queens were alive, and Karapass had been given a funereal she would have loved. Nova and the grand hive were now a pit filled with lava, burying the Deceiver and the remains of every previous Grand Matron in molten stone.
A fitting end, really. Karapass had always felt the curios and relics of the past should be forgotten, and a future worth striving towards. Still, there was a hole within the new Grand Matron's heart at her mother's death. Changeling queens were not wired to feel much love for their mothers, given that their very purpose as to replace her at some point. This meant that any children Chrysalis had would be similarly raised in a competitive environment. That was unless the Deceiver, acting through the go-between of the Grand Matron, made some changes to the rebuilt hive.
The ebony insect prodded the supposedly unconscious teenager strapped to the seat next to her. She, as well as every queen, had felt the moment he had awoken; the link in the hivemind jumped a bit, and continued its slow, steady rise once again. She poked the young man once more, before realizing he might not be fully aware or able to move, especially when she considered that he now inhabited the armor of a god. Really, the Grand Matron thought it was one hell of a promotion.
$%$%$%$%$%$%
Sweet, I can move a again. My back fucking hurt, but that was just fine in my book, as long as the rest of me was fine and dandy. The very first thing I did was prop myself up, only to be fully surprised when Cadence gasped and nearly jumped out of her seat. Apparently, I hadn't made much noise and scared her.
“Is there a dick on my face?” The pink pony appeared perplexed by my nonchalance. I could always pry the information from Chrysalis when we were alone, so asking about why we were on a train with the remaining queens and headed for Canterlot seemed to be bad form. But, of course, asking about male genitalia drawn on my new mask was totally fine.
“Y-yeah, you do.” The princess of love downed her mug of coffee in a single gulp as my eyes invisibly moved to my best friend. Jay, for his part, seemed like he was about to die from holding back his laughter, and I could hardly blame him. When we first arrived in Equestria, stranded in the Everfree forest with only a manticore to threaten us, things were pretty bitchin'. Nowadays things were too serious, like there was no fun to be had anymore. At least my pyromaniac friend was trying to bring some semblance of the old days back, and who knows, maybe without any enemies popping up, we can really get back to having fun.
“Dude, this better come off.” Speaking of which, I needed to figure out how to take the damned mask off, too. I mean, I had that vision where the Deceiver was made of black goop, but that was a dream. Still, my gloved fingers brushed against the small release under my chin. My face better not come off with it. I very slowly and tenderly pulled the sealed armor open, letting the air equalize with a hiss. As unfiltered light hit my eyes, Jay did something I'd never forget.
“Jesus, dude, he fucked you up.” I recalled no blows to the face, but I still groped around my head to find the wounds. This armor somehow stopped a powersabre, and I had no way of knowing what happened while I was being outfitted. My flautist friend burst into laughter at my obvious fear. “God, your fucking gullible.”
“Unlike you, I have appearances to maintain.” Here we go, a classic sniping contest. Maybe that would cure our terrible moods.
“Yeah, as the guy that caught on fire; at least I never destroyed half the palace.” Jay stuck his tongue out at me, and Luna seemed to have awoken from her nap. Thankfully, the blue alicorn didn't interrupt, though she was joined by a number of changeling queens looking over their seat at us.
“You summoned a fire elemental that could have razed Canterlot!” I waved my hand out in an extravagant fashion, trying to emphasize my point with the gesture. “I never got kidnapped.”
“Bullshit, that was how you and Twilight saved Cadence.” My unarmored comrade gave me the finger, raising his voice at me. At that pint, both of us stood in the aisle, almost like we about to square off. Being as close as we were, that was impossible when sober, but most onlookers wouldn't have understood. “You know what?”
“What?” Here we go, air out that dirty laundry. It might make us feel better, rejuvenate our depleted energy and allow for a better existence. At my smirk, Jay only scowled. Leave it to me to be an asshole, but it would be his turn to be cocky when I got to rant.
“I blame you for every fucking we've gone through since we came to this rock. It was your dumbass machine, which didn't even work right, that brought us here, then fucking disappears. After that, you lured a goddamn scorpion-lion to me and got me captured by a couple of rednecks. We go through all this shit, and you never even seem to care.” Jay huffed a few times, having said everything as a shout and in a single breath. I gave him a few moments, until he waved and gave me the floor.
“I blame you for every little bit of shit that's gone down since you ran into Applejack and Big Mac. You lied to the Elements of Harmony, almost got me arrested, and implicated me in an assassination attempt against the very ponies you and I would try to protect. You talked me into attending Shining Armor's bachelor party, where I was drugged and woke up in some slutty mare's bed the next morning. Then you had the genius fucking idea to test a new flamethrower and summoned a damn monster.” I was mad, really, and had been holding that in for too long. We might be bitter for a bit, but we'd hopefully bounce back. During those little tirades, I don't think either of us noticed the train stop, meaning we were actually at Canterlot again. Still, it was a few, immensely long seconds before we heard even the first voice.
“Welcome back, how was your trip?” The voice was oddly cheerful and a bit mischievous. After fighting one god, I had no desire to fight another, so hearing Discord's voice was not very high on my bucket list. In reality, it was on my fuck-it list, right nest to attending a birth other than my own, because I'd already done that. I actually hesitated when I turned, and was greeted by two sights I could have seriously gone without.
Discord, the antithesis of all thing harmonious, was casually standing on the train and wasn't even drawing stares from ponies passing in the station. However, the draconequus was almost welcoming when I saw who was waiting for us on the platform. Princess Celestia, along with the Elements of Harmony, stood patiently as we grabbed out minimal luggage, and even remained respectfully silent as the eighteen queens did the same. However, that really changed once they took their placed behind me.
“I've never seen some many alicorns in my life!” Pinkie was, of course, excited, and she obviously counted changeling queens as alicorns, otherwise there was no reason for her amazement. It was at that moment I saw a pair of purple wings nestled on Twilight Sparkle's sides. She looked at me and traced my gaze to the new appendages, almost bashfully covering them as she realized I was more than a little weirded out by them. I slipped my mask back on before I said anything, so I didn't lose it.
“We were gone for a week, what the fuck did we miss?!”
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*One week earlier in Canterlot*
-Mis
And this has I blame you in it. HESAIDIT, HESAIDIT!
Also...
thunderchickens.org//modules/mod_ninja_simple_icon_menu/assets/images/FIRST_vert.gif For this chapter!
This chapter was amusing.
That video was amusing.
I DEMAND MORE
Taylor can now fuck shit up to the umpteenth degree. Equestria is belong to human.
Welp, time for the flashback to explain how Cadance and Luna were present at Twilight's coronation as well as the events here... Oh wait, the coronation may not have happened yet... Rats. Ah well, wonder what our duo is going to do now
2160785
Ouch, beaten by a minute there.
2160785 Since I don't have a ponified version of this, one is for you and one is for me. calgaryliberal.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/double-facepalm.jpg
2161145
I felt like doing that. I haven't, EVER, bothered to pull a "first".
2161030
Huh.
Ah, there's the title drop.
It only took 69 chapters.
2163300
Title drop after 69 chapters.......
Fuck it, im going to sleep.
69 chapter Title drop.... I see what you did there
I agree, this stuff is getting too serious. Miss the sitcom feeling from the beginning. still pretty funny.
I love you.
You missed discord coming out, taking over, going back to stone by the EOH, getting released by the EOH, and becoming good. And in the DBZ universe, you missed goku finish off kid buu.
That last sentence.