I Blame You

by Whitestrake

An Oddly Unarousing Evening

Part of me wanted to reach under my pillow for the scavenged pistol, but my rational side was in control. Karapass, the Grand Matron of the changelings and possibly naturally as strong as Celestia, had just caught me making out with her daughter, the same one she sent on a suicide run. Movement outside the window drew my hand away from the 9mm; I wasn't about to trust a weapon that failed to kill me against a monster like this. Don't get me wrong; I'm certifiably insane and rather durable, but I am neither crazy nor indestructible.

“Are the Burned Man, or the Pyromaniac?” Karapass's question came a surprise. The disguised changeling had come all this way and hadn't done the prerequisite snooping required to know who her own flesh and blood was living with? Queens were the only changelings I imagine receiving any sort of love from their mothers, so the critical research failure was a little disheartening. A sweet smile spread across the fake pony as she noticed my slight fear. “Oh relax, I would have killed you earlier if I came for blood.”

“Which leads me to wonder why you're here.” With both my hands in front of me, there would be almost no chance of the Grand Matron thinking I'm physically hostile. The pseudo-pegasus looked me up and down, paying close attention to my chest arms. Maybe she was looking at my now-numerous injuries, many of which were indirect results of her actions, but I truly couldn't say in certainty. The red mare's eyes flashed again, this time in annoyance.

“You're an ass.” Karapass said something everyone knew, and Chrysalis almost burst out laughing. I could tell; she made the weird half-choking sound you make when you hold something big back. The centuries-old mother gave her daughter a sharp, flat look. I couldn't honestly say I didn't know the feeling. Her gaze returned to me, appraising and accusing me with every second she stared. “Surely there must more to you than meets the eye.”

“He saved my life.” Chrysalis wrapped a foreleg around my neck, pulling me to her in what appeared to be an attempt to protect me from her mother. While I appreciated the gesture, it had the unfortunate consequence of removing the Matron from my field of vision.

“After he tried to kill you.” Technically, her death was almost a foregone conclusion when she was sent to Equestria. For a moment, I almost thought Karapass had forgotten that fact, but decided to let it go without protest. A chittering noise from outside served to remind me of the praetorian guard the Matron brought with her, and I knew fully that Leviathan would annihilate them if I gave the word. “Has his magic turned you blind to that?”

To prove her point, the ancient changeling tried to break my hold over her daughter, only to find a complete lack of tampering in the young adult's mind. I could only tell such a thing by the tingle of magic in the air, because Chrysalis made no sign of discomfort other than squeezing me closer. I rubbed the queen's neck to make her release me, or at least loosen enough for me to turn around, but I was met with a probing mind-tentacle. My natural resistance to magic and mental practice would aid me in this, if only to stem the reading. Basic facts and figures, radio static, cheat codes for games I hadn't even seen in years, every piece of trivial information I could filter into her thought-probing magic was crammed into her skull.

“Neat trick, but completely worthless.” The fake pegasus gave me a slightly-impressed look, as though my impotent reversal was of any quality, which it truly wasn't. However, I think I may have made a mark on the Matron's mind with that defiance. Karapass ceased her probing after finding absolutely no trace of magic in my repertoire not hints of arcana in my mind. Just as the ancient emotion vampire left my conscious, a pleasant jolt ran through the areas of my memory she scanned. It didn't feel like it came from the outside, so maybe my mind was developing coping mechanisms for the odd number of intrusions I'd suffered over the months.

“You can thank Celestia for giving me the idea for it.” Much to my surprise, Karapass chuckled at my joke. Chrysalis and I joined her in hopes of bridging the divide between us, or at least trying our best. My own laughter tapered off as soon as I realized the Grand Matron had accessed the thoughts I'd had when she first arrived, and we both acknowledged this in the same moment as we made eye contact. In the back of my mind, I could feel all existence mocking me. The same could be applied to the smile Karapass wore, because it made the teenager in me nearly want to run in fear.

“I'm afraid I'm unfamiliar with your colloquial terminology; could you enlighten me to what a cockblock is?” We both knew she knew exactly what it meant, but that didn't mean I had been thinking it, and Chrysalis understood that. Seeing that neither of us were amused by incredibly lame joke, the term being very generous estimation on my end. The exalted queen laughed before taking a few steps back. “When you're done ravishing each other, we need to have a serious talk.”

She went downstairs after that, presumably to wait for us to finish what we were starting. Chrysalis and I shared a look before we both agreed on something very important, and not the sort of important understanding that happens daily. It was safe to say that neither of us had been so unaroused in our lives.

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Extra – That Lucky Old Sun
[08:34 Local Time]

For once, being a person who enjoyed almost any sort of electronic game payed off for the two teens as they ferried their charges around the dangerous wasteland. Only those familiar with the El Dorado Lake area would know about the raider ambush behind one of the billboards, with said bandits waiting on the side closest to the local gas and service station. Much like when they arrived in Equestria, Jay and Taylor already had the best ideas for survival in mind. The flautist crept under the highway's bank, keeping low to avoid detection. The pistol-brandishing technophile stalked behind the group of raiders, his rebuilt .357's hammer locked in its firing position for a decisive first shot.

Jay tossed a rock from his hiding spot. The bandit leader turned to face the noise his lackeys began to investigate its source. Just as he started to finish his stale cigarette, the rusted barrel of an old revolver stared him in the eye. His first instinct was to reach for his hunting rifle, but the the prepared survive long in the cruel world of post-apocalyptic America for any amount of time. The sound of a gunshot drew the attention of the two thugs. The male bruiser caught a 5.56 round in the back, his white shirt proving completely ineffective against supersonic lead. The female was bashed in the head by a rock, tossed by none other than Lyra Heartstrings.

“Was murder necessary?” Trixie asked the question as she came from behind a large cactus, and she could already see her supposed guardian angel helping himself to the raider leader's large-caliber rifle. It wasn't so much the gun theft as it was rummaging through the corpse's pockets for ammo that turned the magicians gut. The large hole just behind the dead man's left eye didn't help, either.

“Raiders are beyond redemption, they're hardly human anymore.” For Taylor to use his current tone of voice meant something was very seriously wrong with his subject matter. The long-sleeved teen searched his target's backpack for anything useful, and managed to come away with a pair of binoculars and a half-eaten pack of deviled eggs. He threw the radioactive food away in disgust.

“Found a grenade.” Jay had taken an entire satchel off the dead woman, which he shook in enthusiasm. “Plus whole bunch of caps.” That was his way of addressing the group's lack of equally-distributed weaponry and equal lack of ammunition. With the roll of his eyes, Taylor admitted they needed help, medical supplies, and actual beds.

“Fine, we'll stop by Novac, then hook back and hit up the power plant.”

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Alright, for the 40k spin-off/sequel, what sort of planet(s) should it take place on?
What faction(s) will have a hand in things?

Comments

[Alondro]

Hmmm... spin-off that hasn't been done before... something insane is required.

OOOOOO!!!! I call "Last Starfighter"!!

[greyyy]

Gonna start reading it, but I'm here to comment just to destroy the 1080 comments

[E3gner]

1716488 How about on a living planet, with lava, firestorms, and other fiery nonsense like that?

Why not try playing the Assassins/Grey Knights with the Imperials, and have them face off against a combined force of Chaos and Dk. Eldar?

Something new.

[G S tol Kriaal]

“Are the Burned Man, or the Pyromaniac?”

You forgot something

“Surely there must more to you

A "be" this time

but the the prepared survive long

I don't even

[Lonewolf554]

the spinoff needs eldar. as for planets, how about something artic

[CIA]

1716598
I second the assassin idea!

[Alondro]

1716598 How about on a planet made of ice cream populated by sprinkle people?

And then Pinkie Pie shows up and begins devouring them all... the horror.. the horror... the artificial coloring...

[Espresso]

Hm... Orks, Tyrranids, Necrons. Tomb world, maybe?

[Miki]

Do I even have to say it Taylor?

.........

Oh fuck it, I'll say it. Necrons!
Bonus points if you rip a Leman Russ to shreds with a squad of warriors. I could have sworn I could smell smoke from the thorough assfucking I gave that Imp player's vehicles that day. Such a glorious day it was.

Now our resident Tau player on the other hand.... ffffffffffffffffffffffffffff

[EricKilla]

I may pay you if you incorporate the Tanith First Imperial Guard Regiment (First and Only!)

[Rhodesm96]

Spinoff must involve Chaos in some way. Wait, have some of the "Equusians" turn to the Chaos gods at some point. That would be awesome.

[Morphile]

Necrodermis alloyed with Wrathbone and Terminater plating. Used to make an arcane Automat Kalashnikov model 1947 that fires bullets that use warp ions/low energy warp plasma instead of explosive powder, with mechanical hollow point rounds that have an energized rim to make a pocket of plasma at the tip. The barrel uses all the excess energy to charge the round so the gearwork in the bullet can compress air to detonate when it stops moving, the mechanism for telling it when it stops is a tension string attached an inertial drive that breaks it with the force of the impact. Energy efficiency at 80-95%, making it about as powerful as an Inferno Pistol, but only leaving a 7mm hole in the target. Warp energy can be used to guide rounds into the same hole. Able to kill an Astartes in 2-5 shots. Rounds must be made by Eldar tech arranged like the Baneblade ammo assembly unit.

[1I1I1I]

the WH40K spinoff should be near the core of the imperium, a few good years later when the tyranids have pushed their way into the heart of man.
im sure the changelings would like to meet their estranged cousins

[Sulliman]

1717807
Oh yeah, machine for pigs or something like that, right?

[E3gner]

1716684
......yeah much better idea there. more horrifying, but you forgot one very important detail...

[MonolithiuM]

I would like to see some Riddick universe thrown in the mix.

[Whitestrake]

1720355 You mean the lore, tabletop game, or video games?

[Whitestrake]

1720437 You should probably look up playthroughs, or but them yourself in Steam if you have the cash. All the ones on Steam are RTS games except for Space Marine. The Dawn of War titles are like Starcraft and have video quality that shows their age, but the Dawn of War II titles are like Company of Heroes and in HD. Either way, you'll learn a lot.

[werebrony]

Fallout extra. This I can understand

[Jahoosaphat]

Pekopon.
No. Scratch that.
PLANET NAMEK!
KuKuKu...

[Razzy]

Well, I'd say so far it's going better than it has any right to.