How is Something That Heavy not Falling Through the Floor?
It would appear that changeling magic is only mildly affected by the interruption field generated by the human body, and the negative response I would have was likewise lessened. That being said, it did nothing to soften the impact of my unarmored ass against the stone floor. By the glowing ceiling crystal, there was no doubt in my mind of my location, and hopefully the Marehouse's vehicle depot could be accessed from the area.
“You, who dares to wear the Deceiver’s form, would attempt to foil my plans.” The voice was strange, very different from the imposter's previous one. The form of the pseudo-Cadence appeared before me, and my first response to the threat was annihilation. I pulled the .38 from a jacket pocket a fired one of its six rounds at the fake pony. I hadn't expected the slug to ricochet off a flat bit of crystal, nor did I anticipate the wayward missile to bounce around until it flew though one of my mask's lenses. It didn't hurt me, just sprayed glass around the inside and tore a small hole in the rubber, but my actual skin was unharmed. “Blind and alone, that's how you'll die here.”
The imposter's eyes flashed green, and she disappeared into the crystalline screen, and all light faded from the asymmetrical room. I had lived more than forty seconds and felt no tiredness, so the chamber must be receiving air from somewhere, I only needed to find ou-
BOOM
“Goddamn!” A portion of the crystalline wall exploded from a blast of purplish energy, which let me know the cavalry had arrived. From the settling dust emerbed the form of Twilight Sparkle and the worse-for-wear Princess Li Amore Cadenza, more commonly known as Cadence. However, I had not known she was the original at the time, and my action showed it. The Element of Magic was able to wrench my gun away before I could squeeze the trigger, much to my later relief.
“Taylor, she's the real one!” It would appear that I owed the pink alicorn an apology for attempting to murder her so hard she would die to death.
$%$%$%$%$%$%
Jay and Celestia shared a glance as the ceremony was being prepared, neither knew Taylor's exact location, or even if he was still alive, but they had a plan to execute, and it would not be delayed. The teen's hidden eyes darted around the room, he was far too nervous to be standing in a room this crowded, too many ponies, too many ways for things to go wrong. Jay shifted about, glancing at every pony that walked in, while also keeping his eye on Shining Armor. Even from his position by the door, the flautist could see his newest friend's nerves.
When the wedding band started up, Celestia and Jay could only hope for a miracle.
$%$%$%$%$%$%
Bitter Springs and Orange Fountain were two of Canterlot's finest rookies, and they were charged with the ever-important task to guarding a nondescript stone door near the palace's easternmost entrance.
“Why do we get sacked with the boring duty?” Orange, oddly enough, was the more bitter of the two, and his friend Bitter was usually rather chipper.
“Because you had to get caught doing body shots off a dresser two weeks ago.”
“But the captain did it, too.”
“After you did.” Bitter would have continued to berate his comrade, had something not caught his wee-trained senses. “Do you feel... rumbling?” Indeed, there was rumbling coming from within the palace, however, it was not coming from behind the door they guarded. Rather, it came from another area of the wall, which was well over twenty feet of solid stone. No sooner had the thought crossed Orange's mind, had the impossible happened.
The steel behemoth known as Leviathan burst from within the palace, its main gun manned by an alicorn, and its lascannon turrets operated by the Element of Magic herself. In the pilot's seat was a royally pissed off teenager with slight anger issues and no regard for his own safety.
$%$%$%$%$%$%
I had known from the moment I had laid eyes on Leviathan that it was a Mars Pattern Baneblade, however, I hadn't known that it would be so comfortable on the inside. My pilot's chair was well-cushioned, and the twin tread controls were ergonomically designed. By moving the two levers, I commanded the massive tank's movement, and they had two red buttons next to my thumbs that fired the vehicle's forward-facing, twin-linked heavy bolter turrets.
I flicked one of the switches in may chair's arm, it would send a small blip over the comm frequency, everyone that had one would know that it was coming from me. Warhammer radios aren't that hard to figure out, and they used the same range for short-distance communication that Equestria's military pioneered. I'm certain there's no relation between the two technologies at all.
Taylor? Dude, where have you been? I didn't have time to answer that, the archaic clock on my view-screen said it was nearly time for the wedding to begin. My eyes scanned the limited range of sight I had available, which was negligible to say the least. I put Leviathan in high gear, and started zipping along the stone path at a breakneck twenty-five kilometers per hour, could you hear the sarcasm?
“Cadence, give me the turret seat.” The princess looked at me strangely, but I could care less. Even though the pink alicorn seemed relieved at the change of pace, the Princess of Love was more than worried about the ponies' well-being as I piloted a titanic war machine around castle grounds. “On second thought, nevermind.”
After all, why demolish the ceremony room when you can drive a Baneblade through a castle, and then crash the wedding.
$%$%$%$%$%$%
That overused tune that signaled the bride's walk down the aisle seemed like funereal bells for the two conspirators. Celestia and Jay were aware of their comrades' return, surely, Taylor had Twilight and the real Cadence in tow. The fact that the teen wasn't answering his radio and actively blocking the Solar Princess' attempts at communication were troubling on some deep level, there were simply no words to describe the unease that permeated the air. To her credit, the alabaster alicorn didn't show her distress, though the panic messages Bitter Springs and Orange Fountain were blaring nearly caused her heart to leap into her throat. Reports of a growling, metal monster followed a trail leading directly to the wedding, and with each report, Taylor would send another blip from wherever he was. Given the pattern, it was well within the realm of possibility that the teen had somehow commandeered a vehicle from Marehouse Thirteen and was bringing it there for backup.
A three tone burst from Jay signaled the approach of something, and if the rumbling floor was to be taken at face value, it was very large. Numerous ponies in the audience looked about the room for the source of the vibrations, even as its location became obvious. The Canterlot elite turned to face the door as the muffled voices of guards were drowned out by the titanic beast that was surely crawling their way. An explosion ripped through the massive, wooden portal as red light played with the shadows, and the iron giant known as Leviathan crept through the smoke.
“Is it too late to object?”
$%$%$%$%$%$%
Q&A With Taylor and Jay – Pilot
Special Guest: Princess Celestia
Hello, everyone, and welcome to the first installment of Q&A With Taylor and Jay, allow me to introduce our hosts. You see those three on the stage? The shadowy figures in in director chairs? Yep, that’s them alright.
“I'm Taylor.” A teenage wearing a black uniform and a gas mask with a broken lens held up a gloved hand.
“And I'm Jay.” A bonier human wearing an equally black uniform, intact gas mask, and an SS officer's hat waved at the gathered audience. At the rehearsed time, the two males pointed between each other, at the third shadow on the barely-lit stage.
“And I'm Princess Celestia.” The royal alicorn seemed right at home in the spotlight, though she was most certainly unaccustomed to sharing the show with two humans. “I still have no idea how you got me to come on here.”
“Because we need something to do between tapings.” The teen in the cracked mask's voice wasn't muffled in the least, which showed it was purely for aesthetics and a completely non-functional replica. “But, ignoring that. Welcome to our first session, everyone.”
“First on the agenda is addressing letters and questions sent to us anonymously by ponies in Equestria.” Jay reached behind his chair a pulled out a short stack of envelopes, each mailed from random cities and towns. The very first one was, oddly enough, from Ponyville.
Why haven't Jay and Taylor come back to the hospital, everypony has heard that you two have needed medical attention
“Good question.” Taylor held up a finger, and circled it through the air a few times. “It's probably because I like to treat my own injuries, just minor surgery and the like.”
“You performed surgery on yourself?” Celestia looked at the broken-eyed teen in disbelief, before she remembered whom she was talking to. With a huff, the alicorn retrieved her own letter from the stack, the one had no return address.
Why are you at the wedding in the first place?
“Better question: why is this written in bug juice?” Celestia held the letter away from herself, as though touching the dried ichor would give her some horrid disease.
“Finally, our User Submission question, from Sine Wave.” Taylor flipped out a small notepad and hunted the correct page. “So, Taylor, put any thought into putting the moves on one of the Immortal God-Empresses of a planet?”
Princess Celestia gave the teen a sharp look, and the mechromancer gulped audibly.
“On advice of my counsel, I withhold my answer.”
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357999 your avatar picture scars me
EDIT: wait i got first? i wasnt trying to cliche' FIRST
Lol
i2.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/240/006/c0f.png
assets.diylol.com/hfs/6fe/76e/438/resized/i-have-a-tank-meme-generator-i-have-a-tank-your-argument-is-invalid-77fbcb.jpg?1345488818.jpg
1286232Correction:images3.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20120129011957/warhammer40k/images/2/2a/Baneblade_with_Infantry.png
I have a Baneblade, you never even had an arguement
... Do those mech's come in Multi-cam?
1286076 Seconded.
1286237
i.neoseeker.com/mgv/574321-Liege/321/42/nooo_display.jpg
1286316 lol i fell asleep in math class just sitting still
no one noticed 'cause it was how i normally sit, and it was for like 3 mins and i felt completely refreshed for about an hour
sweet... baneblade.
1286529The term drunk tank has been around since the 1930's, perhaps even earlier, it is the cell or group of cells used by police to hold people arrest for intoxication charges until they sober up
not gonna lie that is the best way to crash a wedding
It's "Mi Amore"
1286237
cnc3.ru/files/images/marv.jpg
My MARV would own the shit out of your baneblade.
1288005 I see your MARV, and raise one Titan Warlord
images2.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20111016204345/warhammer40k/images/3/3d/Legio_Invicta_Warlord.jpg
Hmmm...
1288043
i3.kym-cdn.com/entries/icons/original/000/005/641/space-core-portal-2.jpg
I see your Warlord, and raise you a Spacecore.
1288110 I see your space core, and raise you one case of planetary exterminatus
images3.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20110302065138/warhammer40k/images/3/31/Exterminatus.jpg
1288135
imgbase.info/images/safe-wallpapers/digital_art/1_miscellaneous_digital_art/8383_1_miscellaneous_digital_art_awesome_smiley_smiley.jpg
I see your planetary destruction and raise you a large smiley the size of the moon hitting earth.
1288169 I see your smiley and raise you one song from Voltaire
1288178
I see your Voltaire and raise you one of the most epic songs in history from the most epic band in history.
1288197 I see your Led Zeppelin, and raise you one fat Mexican singing Iron Maiden's The Trooper
1288204
I see your mexican and raise you Lars and James from Metallica switching instruments.
1288231 I see your Metallica, and raise you some Manowar
1288241
I see your Manowar and raise you a shitty rap group from my school.
1288276 I see your shitty rap, and raise you...
A picture of me
1288306
I see my losing of the game, and raise you a fairly recent picture of me.
1288339 I see your photograph, and raise a question as to why you have a picture of yourself online.
There literally isn't one of me anywhere on the Internet.
1288371
I took it because i was paranoid an author used me as a character so i wanted clarification from an author on this site when in their story they described me almost exactly and got my personality spot on.
I see your question, and raise you a riddle.
1288438He was on his back, you never said he was standing
1288450
Wrong. The glass was empty. Although, i guess yours works as well.
I raise my previous move with a Pulp Fiction quote.
youdopia.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/10/pulp-fiction-lol-samuel-l-jackson-humor-funniest-fnord.jpg
1288450
Actually, it doesn't work, because it says it was dropped from a height of six feet.
I knew it a fucking BaneBlade. This wedding is about to get a hell of a lot more interesting.
1288567For the 0.5 seconds the First Battle of Canterlot is going to last, anyway.
1288581 Yeah, that BaneBlade is going to end that fight with one shot.
I would like to ask a question for Jay.
What's it like putting up with Taylor all the time? It must be pretty awesome.
1288135 1288169
weknowmemes.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/boy-that-escalated-quickly.jpg
Question for Trixie: Where are you and why don't you have a crowbar yet. You are to be the Gordon Freeman of the pony world.
1288505 Well, he could be in a floor 6 feet from the ground...
Also, well played. And the hell with a pic of you?
Bitter Springs? I don't remember this being a Fallout fic
1291865
I explained thoroughly in a different reply.
1294381
That back-and-fourth was...something. Got a few good laughs out of it, at least.
wow this got just plain stupid...
Chapter 30 random references! >>>“I'm Taylor.” A teenage wearing a black uniform and a gas mask with a broken lens held up a gloved hand.
“And I'm Jay.” A bonier human wearing an equally black uniform, intact gas mask, and an SS officer's hat waved at the gathered audience. At the rehearsed time, the two males pointed between each other, at the third shadow on the barely-lit stage.>>>
And I'm Alondro! Are you my mummy?
popop.files.wordpress.com/2011/02/doctor-who-are-you-my-mummy.jpg
Hahah! Pathetic!
A Baneblade?
I HAVE A SHAGOHOD!
t3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcR1kf2y6bVa_Cf-jwkmwz0kgVvFk4NgaYKKgvhddNChJP9mv-Ly:images4.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20080528213057/metalgear/images/1/13/The_Shagohod1.jpg
AKA: MOTHERFUCKING NUCLEAR ROCKET TANK
SO SUCK IT!
1575931 hmm i wish i knew how to post pictures but imagine this... i raise you a space station with 50 nukes all pointed at you... they are also American (precise) and Russian (powerful enough if it hits 10 miles away it still destroys it) design
I see everything and raise you... one pissed fluttershy
1453201 And I'm back to being creeped out by that episode.. Damn little kids wearing gas-masks....
I do so love warhammer
Best quote EVAH!
...
Maybe Chryssie will give up and no changelings will be killed?
Cya
Raziel-chan
Coward