Everything that Went Wrong
What could possibly go wrong? Why would I think that. I've seen like every movie there is! You never say “What could possibly go wrong?” You should never think, “what could possibly go wrong!?” What could possibly go wrong? Everything. Everything that can go wrong when you think, “What could possibly go wrong,” goes wrong.
But I’m getting ahead of myself. “So, Lyra?” I ask. She looks at me with her stupid eyes. Her beautifully, stupid eyes, and I’m cursing her and myself right now. “I’m just going out on a limb here but this is your first time in town right?”
She thinks for a moment, we've trotted out to the middle of the shop district. You know, the place with all the food, and the stuff. “I believe I was here once with my father when I was very young. I don’t remember much of the trip…” She smiles at me. “I do remember everyone being very friendly and a filly my age through us a party to welcome us to town.”
Oh good she’s met Pinkie Pie. Maybe that means we can eat in peace and not have some stupid party. Don’t get me wrong, everypony who’s anypony loves a Pinkie Pie party, but when you’re trying to have some alone time with a pony who’s new to town…Pinkie is an unwanted guest. I smile back at her, and for a second I thought I noticed her cheeks turn red. Must be my imagination. “Oh yeah? So you’ve already met Pinkie Pie then?” We just kind of continue to walk around looking at all the different places to eat.
She tilts her head, and it’s so frickin’ adorable! Stop being adorable! “Pinkie Pie? Oh! Do you mean pink earth pony? Balloons for cutie mark? She insisted on throwing me a party as soon as I stepped into town. It was quiet nice. That’s where I met Berry Punch, she offered to show me around town. Though, she seemed a bit tipsy.” She giggles and I laugh. She only just met Berry and already knows that stupid earth pony is a drunker. I love it.
I finally manage to work up the nerve to ask her where she’d like to eat, “So umm…where do you wanna eat? We've sorta just been walking in circles for like an hour..!?!” It’s really been an hour since we left the shop? Wow…time flies. “I know this great place that does Canterlot style food, it’s kind fruity but it’s nice.” She seems to like the idea and we go to Le’ Fancy’s.
Le’ Fancy’s is but of course the most fancy restaurant on all of Ponyville. I’ve only been here once before, they talk with heavy Canterlot accents. I think it’s all fake though. We’re seated right away and our waiter comes over and pores us some water. “Good evening fillies may I offer you some of our Canterlot’s best. It is a fine, red whine aged to perfection and is the best we have to offer.” I look at Lyra, and then the price tag. Yeesh thirty bits just for a bottle of whine? Seriously?
I look up from the menu to see Lyra shake her head, “No thank you…” The waiter looks rather miffed, but he can’t exactly force the whine on us. We place our orders and then the waiter bolts to give us some privacy. Lyra giggles a little bit, “Did you see the price of the whine he was trying to sell us? Thirty bits! I bet it taste terrible. It has to for such a cheep whine.” She smiles at me.
Cheep? She really thinks that stuff is cheep? Well excuse me princess, not all of us can be rich Canterlot socialites. I laugh halfheartedly, “Yeah…I thought it was kind of expensive. Then again I don’t really go out much. Candy making doesn't really make much money and well I’ve got a huge rival with Sugar Cube Corner right down the road. So 30 bits is 30 bits I guess.” She seems put off by this.
She looks down at the table and fidgets while she says, “I’m sorry I didn’t mean to offend you.” Offended me? What? No!
I smile nudging her with my hoof, “It would take a lot more than that to offend me. “ That might have sounded a bit more…flirtatious then I wanted it to. Is she blushing? Oh Celestia I embraces her. Nice going BonBon, nice going. “Uh…” I stammer. “So umm…” Come on Bon’s use your big filly words. “What brings you to Ponyville? Not exactly a tourist spot unless you’re into candy.” For the love of all that is good and holy be into candy. I should also stop probably thinking these horrible things and focus for five damn seconds!
She looks out the window. I can tell she’s thinking about if she wants to tell me the reason she’s here or not. Lucky for her our food arrives and she has an excuse to not answer me right away. Not gonna lie I have no idea what either of use ordered. Something with a lot of veggies, I think mine had hay in it. The big problem with Le Fancy’s and me is everything is written in fancy. I mean everything, the food, the descriptions of the food, the drinks, hell even the prices on some of the items! It all taste the same too, like oats and water. At least that’s how it taste to me. Don’t get me wrong I get some ponies love eating a meal you can’t see with out a microscope but I can taste really well. Big reason I got my cutie mark was because well I have a perfect pallet. I don’t know what this food is suppose to taste like but who ever made it really under seasoned it. I should go back there and teach the chef how to cook. Stupid culinary school idiots thinking they know everything just because they can make a pile of mashed potato’s look like the Crystal Empire. Where was I? Oh yeah, over priced bad food. “This isn't very good is it?” Lyra comments. “It taste rather watered down…and the portion sizes are pathetic even by Canterlot standards.” Dear Celestia I love this mare. I think I might have just been star struck with how pretty she was before, and her eyes but…wow she’s just brilliant. I smile at her, I smile for a long time. Probably too long. She shifts kind of nervously. She’s blushing? Is she blushing? “I’ve sort of run away from home…”
Wait, what? “Ran way from home?” I ask.
She nods politely but still looks kind of confused, and a bit scared. “Okay, ran away from home is probably the wrong phrase. My father sent me away for a little while to cool my head. That’s all. He said Ponyville was a quiet town and when I came home I should be all fine and dandy. So, great. Just great.” She sounds really sad.
I push my mush with my fork, I really have no idea what this is suppose to be. “So what’s his name?” She looks panicked and just gives me a confused look. “You’re having troubles at home, you needed to come to the country side to clear your head and earlier you said and I quote, “I’m not a…I have a….” or it was something like that any way. I don’t have time to go back and look what you said. So what’s his name?” I sounded really serious. It wasn't so much I wanted to know who I’d have to fight her for…I kinda figure I already lost that fight, I need to try and just be friends with this mare. Lyra’s just so great. She’s smart, pretty, funny too. On our way over she told me this great joke about treble clefs in a biker bar causing trouble. I didn’t get it at first but the way she told I still laughed like an idiot. I…I think I’m really in love this time, head over hooves and all that jazz. I just want her to be happy, even if it’s not with me. Ha, I matured so fast all it took was some mare with pretty eyes.
She takes a deep breath and closes her eyes, she looks pained but still tells me all about the guy, “His name is Comet Tail. He’s a unicorn, of course.”
“Of course.” I repeat.
“We’ve known each other since we were kids…” She pauses for a long time.
I pick up where I think she was going with that, “So you were fillyhood friends who fell in love?” She looks distraught.
She begins to push the mush around on her plate too. Seriously what is this stuff? “Not exactly.” Not exactly? What does not exactly mean? “My father and his are business partners. It’s an arranged marriage.” Of all the…those things are so primitive! Who’s to tell any pony who they should love. No, now now Bonny keep a cool head. It’s her father choice as head of house. The arranged marriage is kind of an old thing that stuck around, at least with in the Canterlot elite. The fathers of the bride and the groom decide that they’re gonna get married and that’s it. It makes business partnerships stronger and brings families together. Obviously I have a problem with it. “Comet is a nice colt…most of the time. He has a little bit of a temper and gets mad at me for asking questions. Any question really. It depends on the mood he’s in. He’s really a nice colt though, very hansom, very rich. He’s one of the most famous astronomers in Canterlot.” That son of a…
I try to keep as calm as I can, “Does he hit you?” I can feel whole body shaking. She doesn’t answer. I don’t need her to. “That isn’t okay. You know that isn’t okay right? Did you tell your father?” She still doesn’t answer. That’s probably why she’s on this little get away trip. She argued with this Comet guy and he got rough and daddy blamed her. I haven’t even met these ponies and I want to bring them both down to size. We pay our bill, okay I pay the bill.
Lyra tries but of course, “I can’t let a pony who saved me from that drunk pay. My mom always said neither a barrower nor a lender be. Which I think kind of comes down to always pay off your debts.” She laughs at that. We begin to just wonder around for a while and talk. Some how the conversation gets back onto her fiancé. I might have made the conversation go there. “Listen if you ever need a place to crash or someone to talk to about that Comet guy just give me a ring alright?” She doesn’t say anything. “It’s okay for couples to fight but no pony should hit each other.” I remember something funny so I laugh a little, she glances at me confused. I can smell apple fritters being cooked in the distance, Celestia I’m still hungry. Stupid fancy restaurant. I stop by the apple stand and pick up two offering one to Lyra who eats it like a pony who hasn’t eaten in her whole life. With a mouth full of fritter I say, “Swoory, ffat reminded me…” I gulp loudly swallowing a big bite of fritter. “Of this one time my pals Vinyl and Octavia were having a spat I had to get between them so they didn’t kill each other. After a few minutes they cooled down enough to just talk so it was cool but yeah…”
She swallows quickly and her eyes glow bright, “Did you say Octavia!?” She grabs me swiftly. “As in Octavia Melody!?” Wow it’s nice to see some life in this mare, she was so quite for a while I thought she was dead. I nod very quickly. Calm down mare, okay don’t calm down you this existed is kind of adorable. “Can we…or rather would you take me to meet her? I am a huge fan of her work!” Oh boy.
Okay Bon Bon play it smooth, just tell her the truth. Right now Octavia hates your guts and if I bring a unicorn over she’s going to think I took her advice of “getting my own stupid unicorn” and she’ll just think you’re an easy hook up after getting caught eyeing Vinyl. Play it cool Bon Bon, play it cool. “Sure thing.” Wait what? No, say no. Octavia hates you right now. “Octavia and me are great pals. I’m sure she’d be happy to meet a fan of hers and a friend of mine.” No, no she wouldn’t. One, Octavia HATES MEETING HER RABID FANS! Two, SHE HATES YOU RIGHT NOW! “We can go right now if you’d like.” I continue to say like an idiot. Never say what could possibly go wrong, never say that. Why would I say that? Now me and Lyra are on our way to Octavia and Vinyl’s place…great. Just swell.
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An update. It lives!
This was a great update but I would suggest giving this another read through, you're auto spell checker is sabotaging you.
4265732 I'll try to fix it when I get some time. At the point I was at I was just more concerned with getting something posted.
4266415 Yeah I probably should have read through it but by the time I got done it was pretty late, I had work the next morning and I was just more concerned with getting something posted. When I get free time again I'll fix it up and repost
4267271
24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m5oqqkdgHH1qg26zfo7_250.gif
Haha!
That right there is quite the true statement. I went to culinary school a little over a decade ago myself... god so many of the students learn absolutely nothing (that they apply at least) while in there, and have the audacity to call themselves "chefs" strait away. It's a real shame too since ya know... its not cheap. I remember how well I did fresh out of school and in my first gig, but at least I have an official chef title now! For the record, given the right seasonings to work with, I can do amazing things with just oats and water.
4272181 I didn't mean to offend you (though it doesn't sound like I did) I've met some very snooty people going to school for that (they work at fast food and aren't very good at that soooo) I have nothing but respect for the art I just really wanted to enfranchise how bad Bon Bon thought that place was
THIS IS AMAZING!! i'm so glad you updated it, i really like this story, lyre being the fancy one and bon-bon being the flirtatious one
there are few mistakes in this chapter, but all in all it was cute and amazing as always.. update as soon as you can!! 
4277906 Yeah...others have pointed out the mistakes in more detail. I really just wanted to get something up since I promised an update over my holiday break. Luckily I'm nearly done with school so I should have at least a little more free time coming up soon to work on these. Glad you enjoyed it.
4242912 I updated recently if you haven't seen it yet. The spelling and grammar have yet to be fixed but I was more concerned with getting it posted. Hope you like it.