• Published 15th Jan 2014
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Samurai Jackson: Jump into Equestria - ron



Samurai Jackson (the king of boxing jump) jumps into Equestria for some hot new adventures!

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He saw,

"Oh god no! Stop it!" He pleaded, but there was no mercy.

He was surrounded by judging little ponies. They simply wouldn't stop.

Samurai Jackson looked around, looking for a way to escape. He couldn't really run or jump away so fast, his previous jump was so extreme, he was tired. To tired to mess around. He couldn't even fight them back, and they threw rocks at him. He was about to give in, until he saw a little purple dragon and a orange filly wave at him through a manhole. How interesting, it seems as if they wanted him to follow. So he did. He used all his energy to go over by the manhole, and jump in with the dragon and filly.

The dragon closed the manhole. It was dark and smelling like the horse rear in there, but it was peace. Peace, dog. Finally, the sound of annoying little pone-pones was gone, no more insults. Samurai Jackson looked around, and only saw the purple dragon and orange filly.

"What's going on! Where am I?" Samurai Jackson questioned.

"Hey, calm down. You're in Ponyville now." The purple dragon said.

"I'm Spike. This is my fillyfriend Scootaloo". Spike introduced.

You see, Spike and Scoots were outcasted from Pony society for different reasons. Spike was the new age author and thinker, and that was shunned. Scootaloo was orphaned, and ran around stealing pony poo (long story).

"We're freedom fighters, looking to make Ponyville healthier, and not so dumb." Scootaloo added.

Samurai Jackson wondered... Why did he end up here? Why couldn't he just die? Why did he now have a worst life than before?

"I'm Samurai Jackson... I don't even know how I got here!" Samurai pleaded, hoping somehow he could convince the universe to let him die.

"I don't either" Spike said...

"Look, come with me, I'll explain everything. Put on these glasses, the ponies won't be able to recognize us..."

They wen't up to the surface, and there were ponies, ponies everywhere. A massive crowd of them walked towards Samurai Jackson and Spike.

"Don't worry, just act natural". Spike said as he walked into the crowd. Samurai Jackson followed, struggling to keep up with Spike and bumping into ponies occasionally.

"Look around, Jackson. What do you see?" Spike asked.

"Uh... A lot of stupid shit!" Jackson replied, as he saw a sign outside someponies house that said "BLACK PONIES EAT POOP".

"The System." Spike corrected.

"Equestria is a system, Samurai Jackson, and that system is our enemy... But when you're inside, you look around. What do you see? Business ponies, teachers, lawyers, carpenters. The very minds of the ponies we are trying to save. But until we do, these ponies are still a part of that system, and that makes them our enemy." Spike lectured.

"I don't get it," Jackson questioned, "What's wrong with this place?"

"Don't you remember how they treated you on arrival? They mocked you, threw rocks at you, and you were powerless." Spike reminded Jackson.

They turned a corner...

"Look..." Spike said, pointing...

There was a unit of ponies in purple armor marching down the street. Jackson could make out "BY THE ORDERS OF TWILIGHT SPARKLE" written on their armor.

"Twilight Sparkle has been in power for a grand total of 4 moons. She has no idea how to rule, and instead of dealing with the stress, she decided that it would just be easier to give all responsibility to the royal guard, therefor creating a military dictatorship. The Elements of Harmony tried to rebel against the fascism, but they failed, and were publicly executed. With the Elements of Harmony gone, Ponyville, and all of Equestria became ignorant and hateful." Spike concluded.

Samurai Jackson didn't know what the "Elements" were, but he could still understand what Spike meant.

A pony walks by, standing out from all the ponies, as she is wearing a bright red dress, and bright red lipstick. Jackson stares.

"You have to understand, most of these ponies are not ready to quite being bigots." Spike ranted,

"And many of them are so inert, so hopelessly dependent on the system, that they will fight to protect it. Were you listening to me, Jackson? Or were you looking at the pony in the red dress?" Spike asked.

"Yeah I was totally looking at that pony". Jackson admitted.

"Yeah me too." Spike said.

'Let's go back to the manhole, it's been quite the day." Spike finally suggested.

And they did, they walked back and jumped in the manhole. Jackson settled in, and rested for the night. He had quite the day...

Author's Note:

Okay now by this point I have absolutely no idea what the hell I'm writing.

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