Reader and writer of all things shipping and Rainbow Dash. Also, AppleDash will forever be the ultimate ship.
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Contains F/F and polyamory shipping
Applejack was always fine being an Earth pony. No, she was proud of who she was, and had never wanted anything more. Yet lately her two marefriends, Twilight Sparkle and Rainbow Dash, have been flying more and more, leaving her behind to watch. It started out as nothing but a simple urge to join them, until she heard of way that could be possible.
Entry for the AppleDashLight Contest.
Cover image.
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I like where this is going, and the twijackdash ship is starting to really grow on me. Keep it up~!
3786469
Thanks, I'll do my best. I'm working on the second chapter at the moment
Nope.
*jumps outta the window*
3786890
I'm taking that as a negative, then. Would you mind telling me what I did wrong?
3786890
Agreed. Let my broken, bleeding body join yours on the pavement below.
3786933
Seriously, what's so bad about it? I don't mind if you don't like it, but at least tell me why.
3786940
ApplejackXRainbowXTwilight
That's where you went wrong.
I have an intense dislike for same gender ships. And adding one more to the mix just drives me away even more.
Eww.
And so I left. I didn't leave a downvote, because I didn't actually read it, but you can be assured that I won't be reading it.
3786928
I don't like polygamo---polygamous---polygamaues----polygamous-- Ahh fuck it.
What he said 3786975
3786969
That's fine, everyone has different preferences, but if so you should just avoid any F/F or M/M, rather than going and leaving an insulting comment.
3786975
Won't blame you for that. Polyamorous ships aren't widely acknowledged, but if you don't like that kind of shipping you should avoid stories that are obviously dedicated to it. I don't appreciate getting negative comments simply because of the basis, rather than the actual story.
Hey now, there's nothing wrong with polygamy or same-gender ships. I personally find these three to be rather cute! I like the balance between AJ's down-to-earth ways, Twilight's smarts and royal-ness, and Rainbow's fierce love of anything athletic. You've done a lovely job combining three of the major cliques in this world in one story, and the conflict between AJ and her girls shows promise. People are entitled to their opinions, yes, but don't worry about it too much. No matter what you do, you'll always have naysayers in the audience. It's the way people are. Otherwise, excellent work so far! Your narration is pretty well done, and aside from a few grammar/spelling errors along the way, the words flowed smoothly. For the most part, your characterization is done well, so bravo! I'm looking forward to seeing more of the dynamics in this relationship. You've got me interested!
3787036
Thank you! It's nice to see a good, positive reviewers who's not hating it because of the ship or gender. I'm glad to see you enjoyed, and hopefully the next chapter will be as good.
3786982
I fail to see how that was insulting. I know insulting. That was not insulting. I simply agreed with someone who said "Nope." And then you asked me why, so I told you.
Insulting would be openly attacking you or your writing. If I had said, "Dude, your story sucks. Go and live in a hole." Then yes, that is insulting. Or, "Come on, that's the best you can do? Quite frankly, it's terrible." I don't actually mean that, but that would be insulting.
And the thing is, I didn't know it was a same gender ship until I read the description. I saw it in the popular stories column and thought it looked interesting. But then replied to a comment and left because I didn't want to read it. I didn't leave a downvote, because like I said, I didn't read it.
So please, don't call me insulting when I am being perfectly civil. It makes the other person want to actually be mean to you.
3787009
I didn't leave a negative comment, i just said Nope.
3787051
Oh, right. I'm sorry about that, I guess I just couldn't find a better word. I am in the wrong here, I just didn't like the way you left a negative comment on my story without initially giving a reason why. And also:
Saying that writing about this ship is wrong simply because you don't like it is incorrect, as many people enjoy and read about it. Still, sorry if I seemed rude when I replied, I wasn't trying to be.
As a side note: This is in the popular stories colom?
3787048
You are very welcome, love! May I offer a suggestion for future decisions for dealing with reactions for both this story and any others that may spring to life in the future?
3787076
Of course you can! Help would be greatly appreciated.
3787063
It kind of was. By saying "nope" you were expressing that you didn't like it, and didn't give a reason why. I count that as negative. But hey, I guess it wasn't really, so sorry.
3787096
I like bacon.
3787072
Your comment:
My reply:
You asked me why I didn't like it. And I gave you my reasoning. MY reasons. Personal biased reasons. You asked for my opinion, so I gave it. Careful what you wish for.
And yes, you made it into the popular stories column.
3787080
It'll earn you points with future readers and even sometimes critics along the way!
Lovely! First things first, when working with stories like this, try and make it evident to readers beforehand that it does involve polygamous relations between three characters of same gender. That will tell readers who are disinterested to avoid your story right away, so that minimizes your risk of getting unwanted comments on your stories. Unfortunately, some people are still going to push through and read the story anyways, so when dealing with the comments that will undoubtedly appear at some point or another, keep your chin up, defend your story, but do so politely
With your story, I'm gonna stress the proofreading button. Have a friend look it over for you before you post, and try and catch some mistakes! Maybe try and lengthen the plotline within each chapter as well, with more dialogue, interactions, and whatnot, so as to establish a stronger characterization and relationship between the main three. When I first read your story, had there not been the aforementioned "marefriends," I may have simply thought the main characters were friendly and not dating. That is, before the PDAs came in, and that helped a tad. But kisses and embraces aren't the only thing you can do to emphasize connection, so look into that! This isn't criticism either, lovely, I'm just trying to help
'Cause writing is a large part of who I am, and I like to see others find that perfect balance within themselves too!
I'll be quiet now *rolls into a corner*
3787118
Yes, I did ask for your opinion. But the way that you phrased made it sound like I'd made a bad decision. Either way, you do have the better point, so I think we can finish up here. In short, you don't like the story and that's fine.
3787133
Wow, thanks. That's actually really helpful. I'll go edit it a bit now, and hopefully I won't have any more problems.
3787155
I'm very glad I could help!
Ohmygoodness!
3787151
Yup, that's pretty much it. Like I said: didn't read, didn't downvote.
Have a good day.
And this:
images6.fanpop.com/image/photos/33100000/Awwwwwww-she-s-so-cute-derpy-hooves-mlp-fim-33131833-210-240.jpg
Just found your story and it i'm enjoying it so far. Also i can see where AJ is coming from. Wanting to join Dash and Twi in the sky. Cause it did seem like they where forgetting about her before and after the food. also curious to how AJ is going to go about getting Wings. sounds like it might be a little dangerous.
Hopes this ends well for AJ and not with Dash and Twi leaving her behind.
I
3787051 dude just leve fierce alone ya you didn't read the story so you don't have to bash it
3790793
If you had actually read the discussion that Fierce and I were having, you would know that I was not being insulting, and he was not insulted.
Here is an insulting comment that I received on one of my stories:
That is insulting. People know that, and his comment received eighteen downvotes. I didn't say anything even remotely close to that.
If you can find anything that I said that even comes close to that, then I will apologize, for that was not my intent.
And right here, 3787151 admits that I have a point, and though I do agree that I didn't phrase it the best of ways, I still was not bashing his story, merely stating my opinion.
Have a good day.
3788286
She is an awesome pony.
Glad you're enjoying, and don't worry; all will be revealed.
The only errors that really jump out at me are these:
Just pay a bit closer attention to your punctuation and capitalization when attributing dialogue. Whenever a line of dialogue is followed by a direct attribution of who said it and how (as opposed to a separate action, in which the character speaks and then does some subsequent action unrelated to the dialogue), you always treat the whole thing as a single sentence. End the dialogue with a comma instead of a period, and do not capitalize the following word unless it's someone's name (or the pronoun "I", which is always capitalized); if the dialogue ends with a "?" or "!", you still use those as normal, but still do not capitalize the next word unless it's a name.
This second chapter is a lot better about that than the first one, so I'm inclined to suspect Google Docs' auto-correction might be messing with you a bit.
It's is the contraction of "it is."
Its, without the apostrophe, is the possessive pronoun. Possessive pronouns ("his", "hers", "theirs", "yours", "its") never get apostrophes.
Since no one else has, I'll be the first; "Flying Without Wings," by Westlife. You'll recognize it if you watched the credits of "Pokemon the Movie 2000."
3801972
Gone through and fixed those mistakes. Thanks for pointing them out. I normally don't pay that close attention to punctuation, but I'll try to from now on.
what's Twilight's tail doing over Applejack in the cover photo
3801972 it's with an apostrophe can also be possesive
3806296
No, it can't.
http://www.its-not-its.info/
http://data.grammarbook.com/blog/pronouns/1-grammar-error/
http://public.wsu.edu/~brians/errors/its.html
http://englishplus.com/grammar/00000227.htm
http://www.dailywritingtips.com/its-or-its/
You will not find any English-language textbook or reference which says otherwise.
3806336 then go tell that to every single teacher that iv'e had and everypony that I know
3806343
Bullhockey. Any teacher who is telling their students that "it's" is the possessive is incompetent, and should be fired. Sorry, that's just the way it is. The possessive "its" does not have an apostrophe.
Look it up in the links I gave you. Look it up in the flippin' dictionary. No credible published reference on English grammar or spelling will ever say "it's" is the possessive, and not once, in my 46 years of life, has any source ever stated otherwise.
(As for "everyone you know" -- I'll bet a lot of people you know also think "loose" is the opposite of "win", "gain", or "find", too. It doesn't mean they're right.)
3806379 when I was younger I must have gotten mixed up and all the people I said it to probably couldn't understand me because of my fast talking, bad diction, and accent. Thanks
3806584
It just bugs me when people insist on disputing a basic fact that can be easily looked up in a reference book...
Sorry if I got a bit tetchy, there.
I mean, there are all kinds of things in writing (especially when it comes to writing fiction) which are matters of debateable opinion and personal style -- whether it's better to use omniscient vs. limited perspective in 3rd-person narratives, passive vs. active voice, how to phonetically represent a thick accent like Applejack's in dialogue (and how much of that is too much or not enough)... Some of those are even things which have changed over time, so it can depend greatly on when you were brought up and what kinds of books you tend to read the most of. (3rd-person omniscient is what Tolkien's Lord of the Rings is written in, for example, and that was considered the "preferred" style in his day, so if you were brought up reading a lot of high fantasy and sci-fi from that era, you'll tend to think of it as the "right" way even though modern tastes, from about the mid-1970s onward, now mostly favor 3rd-person limited.)
But basic issues of spelling and punctuation? C'mon, guys, that's why the Webster's Deluxe and Webster's Desk Reference sets were invented.
You can snag these off of Amazon for about five bucks and, IMO, every aspiring writer should have one. (Heck, if I had my way, the schools would give every student one of these as part of your incoming-freshman orientation in 9th grade, if not sooner!)
GoogleDocs ate the spacing between these two paragraphs. It happens sometimes during the import process; gotta re-check it after bringing it in.
As far as the story goes, it's off to a lovely start. Though looking at the comments, I find myself baffled that folks who get offended over F/F shipping actually exist on this site. What do they do here?
Keep up the good work!
3809260
Yeah, people getting offended by F/F does seem a little strange, but everyone has their own preferences.
Whoops, didn't notice that. I'll go and fix it. I'm glad you liked it and hopefully you'll enjoy the rest of the story.
And then they banged.
'quite' in the first sentence of the first paragraph should be 'quiet'. 'their' in the first sentence of the second paragraph should be 'there'.
Those are the only major errors that I noticed.
3816599
Okay, thanks for pointing them out.
Just checking, this is your contest submission?
(I tend to avoid commenting until the submission is done. But I *am* reading...
)
And... the next awesome chapter :D It was really good and now I'm really curious what will happen soon!
D'awww, AJ x Rainbow fluff.
3828944
Yep, this is my contest submission. I'll put that in the description to avoid any confusion. Hope you enjoy the rest of the story~
Hm, a relationship between 3 ponies seems like it would leave one of the 3 neglected.
Poor AJ. I love how you are writing Twi in this fic so far