On Time For a Change

by LordSmokedMeatsandFishes

A Relatively Productive Meeting.

“Geez watch where you’re flying, buddy, some of us have important practicing to do,” somepony said to me in a highly grating voice.

Why do I suddenly have the urge to punch something? And why is that voice so familiar? I thought as I picked myself up from the harsh and unforgiving snow. Already I felt a shiver because of my now soaked suit. Turning my head, I was just able to make out a light blue blur hovering before me.

“Hey, are you okay there?” the blur asked with what might have been genuine concern.

“Fine,” I replied as I reached for my spectacles, which had flown off from the impact. Wait, that voice, that color, it can’t be. Can it? Putting on my spectacles caused my vision to clear, as well as any doubts I had to the identity of my unintentional assailant.

“Good day Rainbow Dash. How are you?” I asked. Not that you deserve such a polite greeting.

“I’m fine. Believe me, I have worse crashes than that in my sleep,“ she said while gesturing with her hoof.

Suddenly her eyes squinted suspiciously, as if she finally processed my question. “Wait a second. I don’t think I’ve seen you in Ponyville before. How do you know my name?” she asked while hovering around me.

I was about to answer, when she rather rudely interrupted me to say “Hold on, don’t tell me. You’ve heard about all the cool stunts I’ve done here haven’t you? Everypony in town says they’re some of the most awesome things they’ve ever seen!” she said before performing some sort of aerial somersault as if to demonstrate.

Of course they do, you self-congratulating simpleton. “Actually Miss Dash, I simply remember you from our weather training days in Cloudsdale. We shared a couple of classes, if you’ll recall,” I answered.

Her grin contorted to a look of confusion. “What are you talking about?” she asked.

Ah, this must be one of her jokes. “We had Mr. Windbag’s class from 11-12:10, remember?”

Her response facial response was continued confusion. In contrast, her voice maintained that same bragging tone, as if she was proud of her ignorance. “Oh yeah! Of course. It’s just uh, well it’s been so long. And there were a lot of pegasi in that class. I couldn’t possibly remember all of them. So um, which one were you again?”

How could she not remember? Grabbing my pocket watch and flashing it to her, I said “The one with the watch,” with a slight hint of annoyance.

I was somewhat satisfied to see her confusion be replaced with recognition. “Oh yeah, you were the one that did that thing with the school bell right?”

That works. “Exactly.”

“So, what brings you to Ponyville er…”

“Pendulum. And my purpose is a matter of business. I’m here to help your town get your Winter Wrap Up done on time,” I said with some well-deserved pride of my own.

I waited three seconds for a response. It wasn’t a pleasant one. I heard a strange sputtering sound similar to escaping gas. I looked at Rainbow Dash and saw her lying on the ground, trying to hold in her laughter.

She failed.

“Ha ha ha ha!” she laughed while holding back tears. She succeeded, but barely.

“Is something funny Miss Dash?” I asked with visible annoyance.

“Heh heh, you think you can get our Winter Wrap Up done on time? What are you going to do? Memorize when we ring the town

bell? Let us know when the lunch break is?”

I am beginning to remember why I disliked you. “As a matter of fact Miss Dash, no. I am going to increase the productivity of each group, to help make sure you do your jobs for a change. What are you going to do?”

Her mirth vanished as she replied, “Hey, my weather team does their job. It’s not my fault the others can’t finish theirs on time.“

“Your weather team Miss Dash?”

“That’s right, I’m in charge of the weather team,” she said with renewed punch-worthy confidence.

Grinning, I said “Excellent. Then I expect you to be at the town hall meeting at four o’clock“.

“What town meeting?”

“Oh, the one I just talked the Mayor into making. She will be finding some way to announce it shortly. But since you’re here, I might as well cut out the middle mare and tell you myself,“ I said as I began to grab my suitcase.

“Yeah right. There’s no way the Mayor would let you boss her around like that!”

“Hey Rainbow Dash! You got a letter from the Mayor!” called out a cheerful voice.

Looking up, I saw an unusual gray mailmare with a blonde mane. I say unusual because she had bubbles for a cutie mark. For the life of me I couldn’t figure out what bubbles have to do with delivering mail.

“Thanks,” The weather captain grumbled as she ripped the letter open and read its contents.

“See you tomorrow at the Winter Wrap Up!” the mailmare said with an oddly infectious joy before flying off.

The same could not be said for my current companion, who glared at me as she asked “Do you have any idea what you’re doing to my training schedule with this?”

I felt a small pang of sympathy for the weather captain of debatable competence. If anypony understood the anguish from having a schedule unexpectedly changed, it was I.

“Believe me Miss Dash. Should everything go well, the meeting will take no longer than thirty minutes“ Not that you seem to have anything better to do.

“Fine. If the Mayor thinks you can help, I guess I’ll go along,” she said while still examining the letter for any possible loophole.

“Excellent. Now if you’ll excuse me,” I said as I grabbed my suitcase, adjusted my hat and returned to my original goal of going to the hotel to prepare for my presentation. I had just lost five minutes. Time was of the essence and I was very rapidly running out of it.

Fortunately, my two minute flight to the hotel was completely uninterrupted. The building itself seemed to fit the rustic charm of the town. It stood at just two stories with a thatch roof, and made of some light brown colored timber. Inside I found an elderly mare at the sign in desk. She had a sort of smile plastered on her that was two parts genuine and one part indifference.

Fortunately, she was efficient. Within moments of handing her the document I was handed my key, directions to my room and a small pamphlet regarding the hotel’s policies. Upon request I was even given a key for the window in my room for a speedier means of departure.

My lodgings were nothing special; a simple one-room, one-bathroom hotel room. It’d been lovingly adorned with such special features as a somewhat lumpy blue bed, a discoloured old rug, and a blank, sawdust covered desk. Meanwhile, the spare but clean bathroom contained a bar of soap and bottle of shampoo so tiny I doubt it could have cleaned a newborn infant. Fortunately, I had showered before setting hoof on the train and I only planned to be in this accursed town for two days at the most.

After unpacking my wind up alarm clock to place on the nightstand, as well as my suits for the coming days, I finally had the opportunity to take a look at myself in the mirror. My dark brown suit was wrinkled in addition to being soaked. And despite my best efforts, my bowler hat was similarly crumpled. But at least my black-rimmed spectacles were all right.

Fortunately, I had come prepared for this eventuality. Placing my ruined suit in a small bag for later, I replaced it with another suit and hat of the exact same make and color. After ensuring that my pocket watch cutie mark was clearly visible on my light brown fur, and my new hat was balanced on my head, I decided I was finally ready to prepare my presentation.

Taking the various notes, statistics, and graphs from my suitcase, I was able to get them into the proper order. I began reading the notes detailing the early, successful Winter Wrap Ups, while the graphs showed it’s steady decline, and the current abysmal failures. Using this data I would be able to discuss what the main failings of the current system were, as well as the possible solutions to fix it.

All in all it took me only 15 minutes to make sure everything was organized, as well as making the proper adjustments to my schedule to compensate for my ruined suit. Comparing my pocket watch with my wind up alarm clock, I saw that it was exactly 3:00 P.M.

“Thirty minutes until I have to leave,” I said as I looked at my schedule.

It read For the period between the meeting with the mayor, look out window and watch passerbys. Make sure to have suitcase on hoof. Bathroom break at 3:20.

Satisfied, I complied with my schedule. There were no noteworthy passing ponies except for some orange blur of a filly on a scooter. Some looked like they knew what they were doing. Unfortunately, most had that air of “just going for a walk” about them. This left a bad taste in my mouth.

Finally, it was time to depart for the town hall. Grabbing my presentation papers, I made it there two minutes early at 3:38 P.M. I was pleased to see that a small podium, as well as various stands, and other presentation tools, had been set up on the stage. I was the only pony there, but the fact that something had been done gave me a good feeling.

Taking advantage of the now professional stage, I set up the proper graphs and information and waited. I was rewarded with the surprisingly prompt arrival of the mayor at 3:43 P.M. Four whole minutes earlier than I expected.

“Hello, Mr. Pendulum,” she said with a slight pant, as if she had been running at a rapid speed.

“Good day, Mayor. I trust the team captains will be arriving within seventeen minutes?”

“Of course. I put our town’s best messenger pony on it.”

“Wonderful,” I replied, hoping that would be the end of it.

But the old mare hopped onto the stage and tried to take a look at my various documents.

“Ooh, are you going to use pictures for your speech? They do say a picture is worth a thousand words. Although personally I always felt that–“

She continued in the manner of a self-important speaker that spoke for minutes without actually saying anything. The perfect politician’s voice. Doing my best to at least look like I was paying attention, I kept an ear out for any of the captains. I was rewarded at 3:49 P.M.

“Howdy y’alll!” cried a cheerful farmer’s drawl.

Looking to the entrance of the town hall, I saw an orange mare in a Stetson hat come trotting in, along with a massive red earth pony.

“Oh wonderful! Applejack, thank you for coming on such short notice, I know you’re very busy.”

“Shoot Mayor, it’s nothing. Soon as I got the message that there was some new feller that could help us with this year’s Winter Wrap Up, well I just had to come running. And Big Macintosh was mighty curious himself. “

“Eeyup” said the red mountain of a pony.

“I take it you’re the captain of the plant team, Miss Applejack?” I replied using my brilliant methods of deduction.

“Sure are. Don’t think I caught your name, Mr…”

“Pendulum.”

No sooner had I said this, then she ran up to me and began vigorously shaking my hoof. “Well nice to meet you, Mr. Pendulum. My name is Applejack, and this here is my big brother Big Macintosh.“

I looked to “Big Macintosh,” who merely nodded his head in confirmation as his sister rejoined him. This struck me as odd, though I didn’t know why. I realized why two seconds later, when I saw that my hoof was now vigorously shaking the empty air.

“So, you think you can help our town Mr. Pendulum?” she asked while I stopped my hoof from shaking.

“Madam if I can’t do it, nopony can.”

“Mighty big talk there,” she responded, though in an inquisitive tone, as opposed to Rainbow Dash’s mocking one. So far I had no problems with this pony.

“I assure you Miss Applejack, it is more than just talk. Of course, you’ll see that when your fellow captains arrive. “

No sooner had I said that then a pink unicorn with violet mane and a cutie mark of three brilliant-cut diamonds walked in. She had a look of tired agitation on her face, as if her mind was preoccupied with future events. Events that she was confident would end badly, but must be endured anyway.

Looking in my direction, she asked in an annoyed tone “So is this the guy?”

“What do you mean Amethyst?” the Mayor asked.

“I mean is this the guy that’s making me close my jewelry store early just to attend some meeting about tomorrow?” she asked with an edge to her voice on the last word.

“I am, and my name is Pendulum. Miss Amethyst was it? You’re the captain of the animal team, correct?”

“That’s right,” She said. Although judging by her tone, she sounded anything but happy about it. Could she be genuinely aware of her incompetence? I wondered.

My thoughts were interrupted as she continued. “Now Mr. Pendulum, what I want to know is why you’re making me come here when I could be making a living? Do you have any idea how much jewelry I could be selling right now?”

I searched my brain for any knowledge about jewelry. Aside from being ludicrously expensive, I knew nothing about the craft. “Can’t say that I can.”

“Neither do I, but I can guarantee you it would be a lot more productive than a getting the Winter Wrap Up done on time meeting. I’m going to get enough of that from the mayor and her thirty minute speech tomorrow.”

“Actually, I have asked her to change it to four and a half minutes.”

“Is that a fact?” she said with would could be described as reluctant mirth in her voice.

Looking around at the farmers, and the mayor’s annoyed expression, she asked “Alright then, what are we waiting for?”

“Just Rainbow Dash. It’s only 3:57 P.M.” I responded.

“Pfft. She’ll be late. She always is,” she said in a tone that seemed to challenge one of us to prove us wrong.

Looking around, I saw that none of the other ponies seemed eager to do so. What happened next was an uncomfortable two minutes as we all stood in relative silence. The silence was somewhat shattered as around fifty new ponies entered the building.
The only one I recognized was Rarity. She seemed annoyed about something, and I could have sworn she was deliberately ignoring me. For the life of me I had no idea why. A few pleasantries were exchanged among the newcomers, but nothing of note.

Finally, forty-five seconds after 3:59 P.M. a faint noise could be heard. It was hardly noticeable – just a faint high-pitched whine of protesting air. A whine that grew into annoyance and finally anger as some object careened toward the town hall. Anticipating the danger (most likely from hard earned experience), the ponies in the hall moved to the sides of the room. Except for a brave Applejack, who quickly and carefully opened the door.

No sooner had she done so then a blue object roared into the town hall and just avoided a crash with a dramatic screeching of hoofs on wood.

“Did I make it?” the simple cyan speedster asked with a slight hint of concern.

Looking at my pocket watch, I saw that she made it with a mere second to spare.

“You are precisely on time,” I replied slightly sarcastically.

Apparently it was too slight because whatever concern she might have had, morphed into her standard confidence as she declared, “Well of course I did. I’m not the fastest flyer in Equestria for nothing.”

That didn’t stop you from being late to Mr. Windbag’s class every day I thought. This train of thought was backed up by the small but noticeable exchange of bits going on amongst the crowd. Particularly from a now very annoyed and most likely poorer Amethyst.

“Indeed. Now then, with the captains here we may begin.” I said as I looked upon the crowd that had separated into semi organized groups, comprised of the team captains and their team members.

I took out a few notecards and pointed to the first chart of my presentation.“As you can see, your town’s last successful Winter Wrap Up was seven decades ago. Since then there have been fluctuations, but generally speaking you have finished later and later every year. With last year being your worst at two days, four hours, and thirty-seven minutes.“

I paused as a loud grumble of recognition was spreading around the crowd. Judging by the angry expressions (particularly, the Mayor) I had opened up some humiliating wounds. Well good. They were self-inflicted and deserve a reminder.

When a lull in the grumbling had been reached, I continued.

“But do not lose hope Ponyville. You can still succeed in the coming days. After all your ancestors did it, why can’t you?”

Another grumble arouse, although this one seemed more positive than the previous one.

“It will be difficult, but it can be done. After all, you have procedures that have proven to be successful. By waking up the animals, you allow the weather ponies to melt the snow, thus allowing the farmers to well… farm. However, this strategy hasn’t been working lately, has it? Do you know why?”

Without waiting for a response I pointed to the next series of charts and continued. “No real planning, no official leadership, no structure whatsoever. What should be an organized effort to compensate for your… self-imposed restrictions has for years been a chaotic mess of delays, bad planning, and borderline anarchy. Well Ponyville that changes tomorrow.”

Removing the card from the stand, I reveled a copy of a glorious organized schedule. “This is a schedule I have constructed based on information from the previous year’s mishaps. Since we don’t have the time for a complete overhaul of the system, we must make do with an increase in efficiency. Starting with the animal team.“

Turning, I saw that Miss Amethyst was looking at me with a look of indignation. She rather rudely interrupted me to say “What about the animal team?”

Prepared for something like this, I responded “To put it bluntly Miss Amethyst, most of the failures of the past decades can be attributed to the animal team.”

I was again rudely interrupted, this time by a small mob of what I could only assume were the other members of the animal team. I tried to wait for their pitiful protests to end. After it continued for forty-five seconds, I turned to the Mayor. After eleven seconds, she figured out I was waiting for her to do something.

“Order! Order everypony! Settle down!”

“HEY! SHUT UP!” shouted another voice.

I was surprised to see it came from Rainbow Dash, making her annoying voice useful for a change.

“THE SOONER HE CAN TALK THE SOONER WE CAN GO HOME! SO CAN IT!”

“Thank you Rainbow Dash,” I said, appreciating the result of her statement, if not the sentiment.

Looking back at the crowd I continued, “As I was saying, without the animal team working to the best of their abilities the weather ponies cannot clear the snow, which leads to the farmers being unable to plant their crops. So I offer some simple possible solutions.”

“And what could you possible know about waking animals, huh?” Amethyst said, rudely interrupting me a third time.

Though she was near the back of the crowd, she seemed to almost will them away as she strode toward my podium glaring a hole through my head.

“Have you ever tried to wake up a bear? Or untangle a nest of snakes? We can’t just ring a loud bell!”

“Why not?” I asked, growing increasingly annoyed at her rudeness.

Looking exasperated at my ignorance, she explained, “Because it’s a delicate process! If you awaken them all at once then you have a rampage of very grumpy animals! They’ll go running everywhere and make the place a complete wreck. Don’t you know anything about animals?”

“No I don’t,” I replied.

“Well let me tell you something Mister… Wait what?” Amethyst replied her eyebrows contorted in confusion at my seeming cooperation.

“I don’t know much, if anything about animals. I’ve never had the need to. But what I do know about a little thing called history.” Looking down at her I asked “Do you know the saying about those who do not learn from history Miss Amethyst?

“That they’re doomed to repeat it?” She replied with agitation as if sensing a trap.

“Precisely,” I said, momentarily surprised at her exactness. Not wanting to let her revel in her petty victory, I swiftly turned her words into a metaphorical noose.

“Well, now I’m just confused Miss Amethyst. If you’re familiar with the phrase, why haven’t you followed it for the past five years?” I asked while checking the numbers for the previous years.

“Hey, we woke the animals at least 8% quicker last year then the year before that!” she yelled indignantly.

“Yeah!”

“Thats right!”

“I still have the scars!” Shouted several equally indignant members of the animal team.

“I’m not saying you haven’t improved” I said as I tried to respond to this delicate situation. “Although, lets be reasonable Miss Amethyst, it was only 6.4% faster and thats being generous.” Drat, you just had to show off didn’t you? Quick, before she says something! Maintain the momentum!

“Allow me to explain! There’s still been no major change in how procedures are done! You have one pegasus assigned to clear an entire area by herself for goodness sake! With the time she wastes waking them up so… “quietly and nice” hours of potential accomplishment have simply disappeared! ” “Quietly and nice,” I can’t believe they put that on an official report, I thought to myself as I tried to contain my revulsion.

“Oh no, you leave Fluttershy out of this!” cried a familiar and increasingly unpleasant upper class accent.

Turning I saw Rarity glaring at me with unbridled indignation as she continued. “Fluttershy is the best member we have, why she’s forgotten more about animals then you’ll ever learn in an entire lifetime!”

“Could have fooled me!’ shouted a pony hidden among the crowd.

“Who said that?” Rarity responded, her face turning a noticeable shade of red as her expression changed to that of calculating rage.

Not wanting to be an accessory to a potential assault case, I smacked my hoof quite loudly on my podium momentarily retaining the crowds attention.

“Now, as a potential time saving method I propose that we utilize a hierarchy of animals that need to be awoken.” Smaller animals susceptible to drowning will be awoken first. Larger animals capable of swimming or fleeing the water will be left to their own devices. This will increase efficiency by allowing the animal team to work on a smaller group of sleeping creatures. In turn this will allow the weather team to do their jobs that exponentially faster. Any objections?”

Looking among the crowd, I saw that many seemed satisfied or at least interested in this concept. The plant team and weather team were discussing it with varying levels of enthusiasm, with Applejack in particular looking intrigued. Even the Mayor was having her secretary write down what I said. Every group seemed happy, except the animal team.

Several looked at me in horror, as if I had suggested some heinous act. Amethyst looked like she was preparing some rant, and Rarity was covering her mouth with her hoof in melodramatic shock. But what stood out to me was an odd yellow pegasus with a pink mane I had not noticed earlier.

Or perhaps more specifically her eyes, to say she looked at me would be inaccurate. I could only describe her as staring at me. Not with contempt, but with some strange mixture of anger and disappointment, as if I had committed some terrible act that I should personally be ashamed of. I was so distracted by her eyes that it took me a moment to register Amethyst’s voice.

“I’m sorry, what was that?” I asked as I looked away from the yellow pegasus to look at the animal team captain.

“I said you want us to drown a bunch of innocent animals? What’s wrong with you?”

“Madam, I don’t know what you were heard, because I very clearly stated that the only animals that would have to deal with the flood, are ones that can swim anyway.”

“Yeah, in underwater tunnels! You know what happens when you try to swim in underwater tunnels? You drown!” Without waiting for me to respond, she she turned to the Mayor, and shouted “Mayor, is this really the best we could get? He obviously has no idea what he’s talking about.”

“Now wait a minute Amethyst, at least this fellers coming up with ideas. That’s more than you’ve done the past past five years,” interrupted Applejack.

Amethyst looked shocked at the farmer’s interruption, demanding “And what’s that supposed to mean?”

“Only that your team does the same thing every year, and every year my team has to work extra hard to pick up the slack.”

“Oh sure, blame the animal team, it’s always our fault. Nopony ever talks bad about the weather team.”

“Hey, you keep the weather team out of this!” cried Rainbow Dash.

“Why not!? You certainly keep out of doing any real work!”

What followed was a heated exchange between the three captains. It was at such a rapid pace, powered by years of frustration, that I could only understand every third sentence or so.

“Don’t you even know how farming works? You can’t just–”

“A little water never hurt anything. Look at–”

“Why don’t you try poking an angry grizzly bear–”

The energy from the trio’s bickering spread like an invasive insect as the entire town hall erupted into an explosion of arguments, disagreements, and general unpleasantness. There were even a few ponies in the corner who appeared to be sharpening pitchforks that must have materialized from the ether.

Turning to the Mayor, I shouted over the stream of stupidity “Can’t you get them to stop!”

“What am I supposed to do?” she asked.

“You’re the Mayor! Call for order! Call the police! Do something!”

“Hold on, I think I have a speech for just an occasion!” she said while searching through a small bag.

Meanwhile in the center of the horrid crowd, the captains continued to argue with their heads together like some conjoined creature out of some poorly produced Pulp magazine. Looking over my notes and their required reading times, I was beginning to doubt that I would get through discussing the rest of my schedule. Suddenly a strange voice broke through the crowd.

“Hey, will there be some sort of party later?” cried an oddly shrill yet low sounding voice.

Confused by the interruption, we all turned to look at the questioner. What we saw was an odd figure in a trenchcoat and fedora hat. It must have had a head, but if it did all we could see of it was a messy tangle of pink fur. Where there should have been a face, there was only a round pair of thick-rimmed glasses upon large pale nose with a mustache.

“And who might you be? I asked.

“I’m Pin– er umm.. I know! I’m Pinkagnito. Yeah that’s it, Pinkagnito.”

None of us seemed to know how to respond. Looking around the audience, I saw them eyeing the figure with annoyance, but also acceptance. As if they were use to this creature. Wait a minute, used to it…

“Mayor,” I whispered. “That’s Pinkie Pie isn’t it?”

“Most likely.”

“What should I do?”

“Just play along. Trust me it’s the quickest way to get this sort of thing over with.”

Sighing, I said, “Well, err, Pinkagnito. If everything goes smoothly there should be time for a celebration. But, if I can’t get through my presentation, I’m afraid that won’t happen.”

“Ok! I’ll leave you to that then. Just remember, Pinkie Pie throws the best parties! You should get her to prepare it!” the figure said, before shuffling away in what I could only describe as a bouncing lurch.

A small nervous chuckle could be heard after the apparition left. Grasping on to this newfound, and beautiful silence, I decided to continue with my presentation.

“Now about this work song you all have…”

Twenty-seven minutes and twenty-eight seconds later

Having gone through my schedule and answered a multitude of questions, the presentation was finally over. There had been some rather unnecessary delays. Including a strangely heated debate regarding the town’s annual work song, “Winter Wrap Up”. I had no real problem with the idea of the work song. After all, according to their towns reports large portions of work were done when this song was being sung. However, the town reports also showed that when done too much, it just lead to distractions that negated any benefits the song originally had.

It had taken me seven minutes to convince the townsfolk to shorten it from a fifteen minute ballad to a more manageable ten minutes. (Despite some random outburst that it would have sounded amazing in 8-bit. Whatever that meant). But after getting that out of the way, I was able to focus on real issues. Like starting the event at 7:30 instead of eight, utilizing the weather ponies in other teams when they weren’t doing anything, and convincing the animal team that sending just one pony to deal with over twenty-five animal dens was stupid. Even if said pony could supposedly talk to animals.

Rainbow Dash was unsurprisingly the first to leave, with the rest of the group following soon after. There were a few stragglers. The farmer, Applejack, stopped to tell me she thought I was onto something, and that her brother enthusiastically agreed with me. (I decided to take her word for it.) In addition, the Mayor stayed behind to supervise her assistant taking down the equipment. Seeing as this was unimportant to me, I decided to leave and return to my hotel room.

As I flew out I ended up passing that strange yellow pegasus from earlier. Despite being closest to the door, she was one of the last ones to leave. It was as if she had been too nervous to tell the other ponies that she was there first. She still looked nervous, half of her face concealed by her hair while the other half looked it was trying to work up the courage to tell me something.

“Is there something you want to say madam?” I asked.

In responsed, she emitted an “eeep” and seemed to hide behind her mane even more while paradoxically standing her ground.

After waiting five seconds for a response, I continued leaving the building. But I was interrupted when I heard a slight whisper.

“Why do you want to hurt the animals?” she asked.

“Pardon me?”

“I said why do you want to hurt the animals?”

Frowning, I said “Speak up, I can hardly hear you.”

After breathing a deep gulp of air, her response was done in a surprisingly firm tone as she seemed to almost demand “Why do you want to hurt the animals?”

Satisfied I answered, “Madam, it has never been my intention to hurt the animals. Truth be told, I don’t care about them at all. If they stay away from me, I am more than content to let them live their lives.” It’s when they interfere with my job or progress that I begin to despise them.

“But those things you said… You can’t really expect us to just flood some of the animals homes do you?

“Of course not.”

“Oh, thank you,” she said with relief.

“I expect the weather team to do that.”

That relief turned into a surprisingly unnerving flash of anger. I decided a quick response was required.

“Look, I understand we can’t do that for creatures that actually burrow underground. Your… enthusiastic captain explained that well enough. But please enlighten me, why do we need to awaken bats? It’s not like they’re anywhere near the ground. Or the bears!

What damage can a few inches of water do to bears?”

Her anger seemed to have softened, but her expression shifted to one I always dreaded to see. The expression of an expert that had just been asked a question, and was fully prepared to answer it.

“Well, one of the bear cubs is still terrified of water, not to mention they tend to sleep on their stomachs so the water could get into their noses. A bears nose is very sensitive you see. As for the bats, well you’d be surprised how–”

“Well madam, you clearly know much more about this than I do. I’m sure you’ll do fine tomorrow now if you’ll excuse me–”

“But wait! There’s no way we can wake all the animals in time without causing some sort of problem. We just don’t have the time to prepare.”

Oh you’re right! You’ve only had ALL YEAR TO PREPARE! Gritting my teeth in frustration I just managed to keep my voice even as I tried to explain to this… unusual mare.

“Do you care about the animals Miss…”

“Fluttershy. And yes, more than anything in the world,” she said with a smile showing through her pink veil of a mane.

Ah, so you’re the “animal expert” then. “Even your town? Your friends and neighbors? Don’t you care about them?”

“Well of course I care about Ponyville–”

“Then you must be aware that unless those animals are awoken, your town will be a punchline for every newspaper in the area right?”

“I don’t read that many newspapers actually.”

Thats not the point you insufferable– “Look madam, it’s my job to help your town. But I can’t do it unless everypony does their part. You still have a copy of the schedule right?”

“Well yes but–”

“But it’s not perfect I know. I’ve only had two days to work on it. And even then it was based on your towns, disorganized records, but I have confidence that if anypony can step up to the challenge, its the renowned animal expert Miss… err.“

“Fluttershy.” she replied with annoyance radiating from her one visible eye.

“Exactly! Then you had best find a way to wake them, or I’m afraid we’ll have to improvise. And Miss Fluttershy?”

“Yes?”

“I do not, like to improvise. And I will not let a few bears stand in the way of my job. Now, good evening.”

Without waiting for a response, I flew out the door eager to leave for the safety of my hotel room. As I flew I felt an unusual concern. Had I been too harsh towards her? Was I a bit rude towards the end? She was supposedly an expert on animals, after all, so I should give her words some merit. On the other hoof, if she really loved her animals, why didn’t she have them hibernate in an area that wouldn’t be flooded? As I pondered this, my thoughts were interrupted by a horribly familiar springy sound.

“Hey, Mr. Pendulum! How did your meeting go? Did you see anypony interesting?” asked the bouncing ball of buffoonery.

“It was adequate, Miss Pie. There was an… interesting fellow, yes. He said you threw the best parties.”

“OOOH! Did he have a trench coat, fedora hat, fluffy head and a large pale nose with a mustache?”

“Yes, do you know this pony?”

“Nope, never heard of him. But he must be pretty smart if he knows about my parties!” she replied.

I don’t even care any more I thought, as I began flying toward my hotel room. As I left, I could hear her horrifying hops as she pursued me.

“So, what are you going to do now, Mr. Pendulum?”

“Nothing.”

“Oh come on, nopony ever does nothing if you really think about it. I mean you’re always breathing, blinking, or even sweating if it’s hot. Of course there's also your organs. I mean your heart’s always beating, your lungs are expanding, and your pancreas… Well, I don’t really know what your pancreas does. Now that I think about it, it almost sounds like a pastry. Like a jelly filled pancreas, maybe with some icing to go on it–”

“Fine! Do you want to know what I’m doing?”

“Oh yes! More than anything thing ever! Today! At this moment!”

“Here!” I said throwing my schedule at her in an attempt to find solace from her inane conversation.

I waited as she started reviewing my schedule with an oddly serious air. Meanwhile, I watched the ponies leaving town hall. The secretary (Miss Pointment I believe was her name) was carrying various equipment, while the Mayor continued to supervise.

There was nopony else of note, except for Fluttershy, who was leaving with Rarity, of all ponies. Whatever their conversation was, it seemed to have been directed towards me. Even from this distance, I could see Miss Rarity glance in my direction, and make a very audible “Huumph.” Just before continuing to talk with Fluttershy, in what appeared to be a comforting manner.

“Say, Mr. Pendulum?” asked the pink ball of fluff that had suddenly appeared before me.

“Gaugh! Stop doing that!” I yelled as I jumped back from the horrifying pink mane.

“Is this really what you’re doing tonight?” she asked with a look of incomprehension, seemingly ignoring my previous outburst.

“What do you mean?”

“Five o’clock, be back at the hotel. 5:01 P.M., greet secretary. 5:02 P.M., return to room. 5:03 P.M., remove suit. 5:04 P.M., use restroom. 5:06 P.M., study notes. 5:30 P.M., order a sandwich–”

“Are you going somewhere with this?”

“Yeah, I found this weird part. Hold on, let me skip a little, um… 6:45 P.M. sit on clocktower. 7:00 P.M. listen to the bells and watch passersbys for five minutes – Oh yeah! Here’s the weird part! 9:30 P.M. go to bed. What’s up with that? Who goes to bed that early?”

“Early? Miss Pie, the Winter Wrap Up is tomorrow at 7:30 A.M.! If anything, that’s pushing it. Aren’t you going to bed early tonight?”

“Of course! Do I look crazy to you? But I’m not going until at least 10:30! I mean, I still have so much to do like–”

“Stop!” I yelled, unwilling to continue listening to the cacophony of insanity that spewed from this creature's mouth like flooded river. In response, I was greeted with… silence. Beautiful, golden, silence. Curious to see what must have been a rare sight, I looked down to see her floating in midair as if frozen.

“How are you doing that?”

“Doing what?” she asked, while continuing to desecrate the laws of physics by her mere existence.

“You’re floating in mid air!”

“No I’m not! I just fall slowly sometimes!”

I blinked, trying to process such an absurd statement, and was rewarded with the sight of her standing on the ground as if nothing had occurred.

“Alright, enough of this.”

“Enough of what?”

“What will it take for you to leave me alone!”

“Today?”

“Sure!”

“Well just a smile, silly!”

“Thats it?”

“Yep,” she said with a grin filled with an impossible amount of teeth.

“So if I smile, you will leave me alone?”

“I promise. No wait! Not just a promise, a Pinkie promise!”

Sweet Celestia on a stick.

“Very well,” I said before contorting the corners of my mouth into a slight grin.

“Now go away,” I said through gritted teeth.

“That’s not a smile, that’s a grin!” She said as if she were some connoisseur of smiles.

Checking my watch, I saw that I had already lost four minutes. I continued trying to stretch my facial muscles into their unfamiliar position. To make things more difficult, Miss Pinkie stared at me with an expression of bizarre anticipation. Finally, now fully conscious of the disappearing seconds, I forced my cheeks upward through sheer force of will in what I hoped she would consider a smile.

Pinkie pondered my expression with a hoof on her chin and a raised questioning eyebrow. Several seconds passed, as she contemplated my increasingly sore face. For whatever reason, I could have sworn I heard the sound of felt rubbing together. Before finally…

“I guess that’s ok, and I did Pinkie promise,” she said with a slight frown.

Suddenly cheering up, she declared “Well I’ll see you tomorrow, Mr. Pendulum!” before hopping merrily away. Most likely to prey on some other pony’s precious time.

And to think it’s not even five o'clock yet. It’s only… 4:56 P.M.!

“Confound that pink pony,” I whispered before flying as fast as I could to my hotel, lest she forget her promise and return to steal my time.

I was still five minutes late.

Author's Note:

So, what did you think of chapter 2? Please leave a comment below.

Comments

[The Fanfic Crusader]

“I’m Pin– er umm.. I know! I’m Pinkagnito. Yeah that’s it, Pinkagnito.”

New head-cannon added.

[Seether00]

He will come to regret blowing off Fluttershy.

[CartsBeforeHorses]

Pendulum is so arrogant that it's hilarious. Pinkagnito was really good, too. I need a paper-thin alter ego now, too!

[LordSmokedMeatsandFishes]

4575522 I'm really just surprised no one thought of the nickname earlier.