• Member Since 27th Apr, 2012
  • offline last seen Mar 22nd, 2018

PoweredByTea


Very occasionally, I post pony stories. Twilight Sparkle is the best pony. I drink my tea with milk, no sugar. Those would be the important bits.

T

Up at the top of the sky, where the air is thin and the mares' tails clouds drift, a pegasus can find peace. It’s a place every pegasus should visit, but a place Rainbow knows the earthbound Fluttershy has never been. A tale of adventure down a path paved with the very best of intentions...

May thanks to GhostOfHeraclitus, Bradel, Bad Horse, and "Nettle" for prereading.

Credits for the cover art vectors go to Erockertorres, Quanno3, and Sakatagintoki117 of the Deviant Art MLP Vector Club

Chapters (2)
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Comments ( 102 )

I don't know exactly what made me decide start writing this one, but I'm glad I did, because I feel it turned out really well. I certainly hope you will think so to. What I do know the seeds of the idea came from playing a bit too much Kerbal Space Program, of all things. While watching capsules come in from reentry, it struck me that there was a certain rugged beauty to it all. First there's fames and fire, but then nothing but silence and the rush of air as the mountains and seas pass by at their stately pace as the sky turns from dark back to clear blue. Of course, you eventually lose your speed, open the 'chute and come drift down.

What would it be like to be up there with your own set of wings with nothing else to distract you?

Anyway, once again, a big thanks to everyone who helped. I hope you enjoy.

The title of my laudatory blogpost says it all, really. It's the best one yet. The previous ones were brilliant, certainly, and heavily original flavor, but this one is not only those two things, but also much bolder in scope. Not just scenes from an episode, but real proper episode in itself, with a plot, and action, and a letter to the princess, even. :twilightsmile:

Oh, and also
:yay:Ace Pinecone!:yay:

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I completely agree. I think this is the best story you've published here so far. It's got a lot more meat to it than the other three, and that meat is particularly juicy.

I love this story.

>And hands up who thought the epilogue was going to be a letter to the princess.

*raises hand*

I feel quite privileged to have read that. Thank you, Powered.

Time for a cuppa, methinks.

Fantastically done. The narration feels like Dash just as much as her actions do, and the entire adventure is a joy to read. I love when it goes all technical, especially the flight dynamics problems. Two very different pegasi, two very good friends, one excellent story. Thank you for it.

Also, Ace Pinecone is best squirrel.

One final thought:

Everypony should grab a mare’s tail before they get their cutie mark.

Ah, context... How important you are. :trollestia:

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Yeah, once I'd established there would be a letter written, there just didn't seem to be any need to explicitly spell it out.

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I can just see Rainbow boldly announcing that in front of a bunch of ponies without (of course) stopping to think.

:rainbowderp: Huh? What? What did I say?
:cheerilee: *Tries to cover the ears of as many foals as possible*

Well, the central part, the plot proper, is well-constructed journeyman pony adventure stuff, but this piece particularly shines right at its opening in its lovely exploration of what it feels like to be a pegasus in general and R.D. in particular, and I suspect you know it. You've almost got two different stories here, a lyrical and musing slice of life stitched to a somewhat more pedestrian (but still quite entertaining) adventure piece. One has a theme of freedom, the other has a theme of honesty, and they don't relate to each other all that well, if that makes any sense. You draw it together at the end just enough that it doesn't feel painful, but it's an imperfect amalgamation. Liked and faved for the beautiful opener nonetheless. A pleasure to read, thanks for sharing!

*raises hand*
I gots some stuff commin' your way on the main chapter, too.

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All the big ideas, the ones that made me start writing this story, were the character based ones. What it is like to be Rainbow and flying. Rainbow and Fluttershy's friendship and how different they are. What Rainbow's urge to share her experiences with Fluttershy would drive her to do. Those things. I guess that shows in what was as was not pedestrian?

Well, I'm never going to get better if I don't try different things. I'm glad the ending worked well enough for you even if it wasn't perfect.

Oh, and you are right. Winged ponies rock. I am a convert.

Elements of Squirreling? :derpytongue2: I see what you did there. I actually kind of prefer the story without the epilogue, but it's cute. There's more of an impact with just the first chapter, though, I feel. I like how Flutters IS actually a good mathy technical flyer, and Dash just sort of feels it in her. Works so well for both of them. And, hey, Flutters should be *glad* Dash lied to her, or the forest spirits wouldn't have had anything to eat! That's a good thing, right? :raritywink:

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I fully encourage your continuing experimentation, especially if I get more stuff like this out of the deal. :pinkiehappy:

Things are a little crazy for me right now — but with you as the author, three signal boosts from other authors I respect, and a chapter titled "Saudade," you'd better believe I'll be reading this. Faved to shortcut it in front of my Read Later list.

Have a preemptive upvote as well, in hopes of some featureboxing and better exposure.

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I bet the thought of saudade makes you positively salivate, you ostensible non-changeling. You know what they say: If life gives you saud, make saudade! Apparently, just saud with water and sugar added? Hell, I dunno.

Oh, while I'm here. PBT, I noticed something:

"Clouldsdale Standard Accent"

"Ascent," surely, unless I'm missing something obvious? (And an extraneous letter L in "Cloudsdale"?)

EDIT: Never mind the first, you've fixed it. Second remains outstanding, but for all I know, you're in the process of fixing that right now too.

3794532
Actually, I specifically didn't comment on that in editing every time I saw it, because I actually thought it made sense as is. 'Ascent' implies directionality, but a flapping method could well be the sort of thing you could consider accented.

Maybe I'm weird. Now Powered's probably going to say it was a mistake and I should have commented. But I liked it that way.

I liked this fic... for the most part.
it's good, but alas, flawed. I'm afraid I'm mostly just repeating what Skywriter already stated, but I too find that the mixing of different tones and themes is hurting this story, and that the 'adventure' part just doesn't live up to the first part.

Another thing I kind of missed was seeing the world from Fluttershy's POV. I think what truly would have made this fic beautiful is if it where a chapter where Rainbow is raving about flying and the sky, followed by a chapter where we experience why fluttershy truly loves the ground so.

As it stands, this is a good story, but with lots of untapped potential. Not quite favorite worty, but it gets you a like and a follow nonetheless ;)

I've got a story chapter named Saudade. But I'd say it fits your story better than mine.

OH MY ████, I LOVE your Rainbow Dash. I wanna take her home and love her and squeeze her and— wait...

Also, the mental image of Rainbow Dash at a tea party is just... :rainbowlaugh:

Now I wanna learn to fly.

Part of me feels I should rant about Dash and Flutters' relationship, though. (There's a whole rant worth of stuff there, but I probably wouldn't have noticed if someone else hadn't pointed it out.)


There needs to be fic about Gappy, New Buds, and Patters now. Dunno what it would be like.


copyediting sense kicked in, sorry:

from a three miles up

Count missmatch

I eye a the selection of vegetables

'a' and 'the' are redundant here.

I try to be interested her answers

Think you're missing a word.

“Um Flutters?” My voice is strangely hesitant.

There's no comma there, but I 'hear' one. I'd'a put one there. Maybe you left it out on purpose.

taken to the wing

The version of this idiom I'm familiar with doesn't have the 'the', so I wasn't expecting it to be there.

whichpony

I know exactly what you mean, and I doubt anything better is going to crop up, ever. But that word just feels really awkward.
[science mode]

if moles were ten spans long

What's a 'span' in this fic? Wingspan?
[/science mode]

If it’s only got room for one thought in it’s head

I feel really weird pointing this out to you, but um... one of those should be 'its'.

the hollow inside of the fallen the tree

Drop one of those 'the's.

the flowers will draw victim in

Missing word? I think?

“Letter to the princess?” she suggests?

Should that be a question mark?

in it’s own way

I think that's the wrong 'its' as well.

My house is still above me, and it’ll to be close after I lost all that speed showing off.

I think that you meant to say something else, here.

*raises hand*
Also, at the beginning of the second chapter you call Ace Pinecone, Ace Pinecore.

This story was magic to read, for real. Total goldmine of juicy, delicious, friendshippy characterization. :twilightsmile:

Really worth a second read too, if not just for that imagery.

Not done reading yet but I found this

and I try to be interested her answers.

Should be "I try to be interested in her answers".
Ok now back to reading. Im loving this so far by the way.

Holy hell, you have this incredible ability to crawl into these character's heads. It's uncanny.
I don't know that I would say this really feels like an episode of the show. (Sorry Ghost! :twilightsheepish:) It's too, personal, I think. To intimate, almost. It is absolutely fantastic how well you show Rainbow dash here, and show us what it is like to fly. (Are you secretly a pegasus?) I love the little bit of world building you do in Everfree as well. I love me some world-buidling. :twilightsmile:

This story makes me want to do a blog on thunderstorm formation and clouds in general, kind of like that tornado one I did last spring. Hmm...:trixieshiftleft:

OK that was beautiful. A truly magnificent piece. Liked and added to favorites. I would say more but I would just be blabbering. Point is that this story is Awesome and that you should be proud.

3795534
3794703
Thanks for those corrections. They should be fixed now.

OK so I totally didn't notice that there was a second chapter here and so when I added the story to favorites I got a pleasant surprise. This epilogue is just great. Like the cherry on top. I love it. Please continue writing.

OK so I totally didn't notice that there was a second chapter here and so when I added the story to favorites I got a pleasant surprise. This epilogue is just great. Like the cherry on top. I love it. Please continue writing.

Ookay. So no hand raising from me. I thought the epilogue was going to be about Flutters going flying by herself sometime later after Dash gave up trying to make her enjoy it. I liked where the story left off before the epilogue, and I figured that would be the best thing that could be done to expand upon it without being redundant, and would neatly bring it full circle, with Rainbow learning her lesson about pushing her friends, and the seed of interest reaching Fluttershy despite it all, ending on a flight scene to match the beginning, but split into an epilogue because it couldn't be narrated by Rainbow anymore; but, instead of anything actually related to the story we get the beginning of the squirrel space program. (Though I do love the JFK quote) I guess this is where the inspiration for the piece really sines through! :rainbowlaugh:

You have an excellent narration voice for Rainbow; I really felt her joys and burdens. It is a bit strange, though, having the narration wax lyrical about flight and then immediately afterwards state that she can't put it into words. I guess the narration is meant to represent her thoughts directly, rather than be the literal result of writing about her day, which is an interesting and sort of paradoxical concept to think about if you ask me.

I have to say, I like how much you get these characters, to the point where you can write them pitch perfectly in situations that depend heavily on facets of their personalities that aren't particularly memetic or bluntly explored in the show. It makes perfect sense that Fluttershy would have a good academic grasp of flight, in addition to being competent enough in a pinch, like she is with everything, somehow, (sewing, animals, children, one-liners, seriously :rainbowhuh:) while Rainbow would have just let it come naturally. I was going to list more examples, but then I realized I'd just be listing your entire catalog. I guess you're just that good. :raritywink:

I'm going to have to disagree with the people clamoring for this to be made into an episode. Not to say that I don't think it is far better than many concepts that did reach the screen, but it requires, to be effective, some very internal-monolgue-y parts, and while it could be told with a literal representation of the first person narrative as a framing device, with Rainbow doing a voice over of the events, Cutie Mark Chronicles style, that would again bring up the issue of the discrepancy in vocabulary between Rainbow the narrator and Rainbow the protagonist.

Epilogue's epilogue. We pass from lunar-seeking squirrels to Applejack.
I don't get it.

Good story, by the way.

How long has it been since those flowers bloomed (and since a repentant liar stepped near them) for the fae-mice to be ignorant of Equestria?

An orange pony in a Stenson lept from behind the nearby cowshed armed with a broom in her mouth.

That's probably the third story I've read this week that called Applejack's hat a "Stenson". It's a Stetson hat. Also, 'lept' should be leaped or leapt; 'lept' is either seriously archaic or not a word, depending on the source you check.

Also, your Rainbow Dash voice is perfect, and the story would have suffered in anything other than first person. Excellent choice, excellently done!

Also, epic squirrelage.

Very good RD-FS friendshipping. They're an interesting pair, old friends who nevertheless are about as different from one another as you can be and still both be pegasi. The characterization was very good, and the almost lyrical quality of the descriptions of high flight was striking, especially coming from Dash. Good job!

:yay::rainbowdetermined2:

to favorite, or not to favorite, that is the qu*favorite*

Beautiful story. The imagery of the open sky was absolutely perfect. I'd been toying with the idea of writing something like that--especially on long drives to work through open country--but you have a far better way with words than I.

The scene in the Everfree reminded me a little of Princess Mononoke, and--while that part of the chapter wasn't what I expected at all, it was magnificent.

Your characterization of Rainbow and Fluttershy was perfect, as well.

The second chapter . . . well, let's just say I wish I could give another upvote. I noticed Ace was channeling a little bit of JFK, and I hope he makes it to the moon.

That was all kinds of impressive. The way Dash is written in this, mmmmhhmmm.

And now I wish I could fly and experience what she wanted Fluttershy to see and feel.

Huh. No wonder Fluttershy was so worried about Ace.

By the way, something I haven't mentioned.

You know my thoughts about the story pretty thoroughly at this point, but I never got to see the cover art in advance. I adore the image you put together. It's got a really great combination of colors—even richer than the show, if anything. Element placement makes is very visually appealing, too. It's just awesome.

I really like my cover image for "Three Nights", and I legitimately couldn't have gotten it without commissioning or drawing it myself, because there's just a dearth of artwork for some characters. But I have to admit, I'm a little bit jealous of this image.

Goddamn...

That was beyond impressive.

Approved with joy (and by recommendation) for Twilight's Library.

24.media.tumblr.com/a257ad5165644b1f79354634dfdee284/tumblr_mqo61uYbwk1rj6vd5o1_400.png

Wear it with pride.

~Skeeter The Lurker

3794468 I guess I should of expected the squirrel thing to be very dependant on taste. My thinking was that since the reader has gotten to the end and the tension has been diffused, it might be nice to leave them laughing, so to speak. That, and I we've heard so much about Ace but seen nothing it felt like a loose end to tie up. Of course with a name like Ace Pinecone, the truth of what he had been up to had to be completely ridiculous. Anyway, glad you liked the main chapter.

3796082 Ah, that's a brilliant idea. Why didn't I think of that? Now I'm wondering which bits of flying Fluttershy enjoys, because they're going to be very different to those Rainbow does. Is it too late to have an epilogue 2? :raritycry:

>You have an excellent narration voice for Rainbow; I really felt her joys and burdens. It is a bit strange, though, having the narration wax lyrical about flight and then immediately afterwards state that she can't put it into words. I guess the narration is meant to represent her thoughts directly, rather than be the literal result of writing about her day, which is an interesting and sort of paradoxical concept to think about if you ask me.

This did occur to me while writing. My best answer for you, beyond the fact the story wouldn't work otherwise, that for whatever reason the role of you, the reader, is to be Rainbow's confessor. She's able to speak her thoughts clearly and honestly without worrying about what you think, something she just can't do to her friends. "Hey, you can't tell any of my friends I said that."

I also had a bit where she tries to use big, fancy words to describe the sunset, and fails. She doesn't realise you don't need to have swallowed a dictionary to be poetic. It got cut because it never really worked.

I guess the tragedy is that if Rainbow could just stop worrying about being cool enough and spoke from the heart, she probably could communicate what she feels.

> It makes perfect sense that Fluttershy would have a good academic grasp of flight, in addition to being competent enough in a pinch, like she is with everything, somehow, (sewing, animals, children, one-liners, seriously :rainbowhuh:) while Rainbow would have just let it come naturally.
That was something that occurred to me along the way. I like the idea that Fluttershy was dutiful and did her homework as best she could, while Rainbow could actually do the flying but sucked at the book learning. I can see them ending up helping each other out because they have a different base covered and an unlikely friendship forming from that.

Wonderfully evocative, my hat's off to you!

Also, very in character Rainbow Dash, and a great Fluttershy as well. The scenes where Dash is talking about how it feels are lyrical, and dreamlike.

Favorited. :yay:

3796797
I adore Princess Mononoke. I really must rewatch it because it's been too long.
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3794909
Ah, this is why I should do my final editing late at night on three hours of sleep. I'll get those mistakes fixed quickly. Thanks for pointing them out.

This was an excellent read.

Dash is not good with words, yet you let her remain poetic in her own way.

I have to say, this was a pleasure to read, Tea. A simple, yet very much refreshing adventure. Thank you for writing this, I enjoyed it very much. Also the epilogue caught me off guard, very nice.

~SilentBelle

3797322

Is it too late to have an epilogue 2? :raritycry:

It is never too late. Why, Night Guards updated with a new chapter today. That's like, two years late. Please don't take two years.

I guess the tragedy is that if Rainbow could just stop worrying about being cool enough and spoke from the heart, she probably could communicate what she feels.

I totally accept this explanation. :twilightsmile:

Speaking of letters to the princess, the ending to this story really underlines why I think they were an integral part of the show structure, and why I'm really sad that they've been replaced with that journal now. Not only is the journal far less personable than Celestia, but it also removes spike's reason to hang around the end of episodes and deliver a witty quip along with the letter. The writers are conspiring to cheat the best side characters out of screen time! :raritydespair:

I don't read a lot of fics with first-person perspective, but I have to say that I felt you captured Dash beautifully in your narration. This was a wonderful little story to read, well worth a favourite in my books. Bravo! :twilightsmile:

3794290
I can't believe what I'm saying, but I don't agree with you.

I know. :pinkiegasp:

Now I think I know where you are coming from--the adventure stuff isn't really cut from the same cloth as the start and the end of it, and that seems like a bad thing However, I contend that it isn't. This isn't just a story, it's also the record of an episode that never was, and seen like that the heterogeneous mixture of adventure and contemplation makes perfect sense. The show is, by necessity, a collage, and to capture as best it can the feel of MLP, this story is one, too.

3798417
So it's a more perfect rendition of an imperfect original? I can see that.

3798557
Pretty much. If you want this level of original flavor, I think certain liberties are allowed.

*Raises hand*

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