• Published 12th Jan 2014
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Kizaru's Vacation - Dirty Bit



Even badasses need their R&R now and then...

  • ...
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Vacation Days

Kizaru's Vacation

by Dirty Bit

Life at Marineford used to be peaceful and busy...Then everything changed when every pirate and their mother attacked. After things nearly went to hell, some red-haired dude and his band of merry men just came in to say 'Stop this madness; it's bad and you should feel bad.' Oddly enough, everything did stop. It was better that way, since Marineford was close to becoming the next Fishman Island.

Or at least that's how Admiral Borsalino, a.k.a. Kizaru remembered it; not that it mattered anymore. He watched how his lesser associates were cleaning the place up while he just stood around with his signature smile. A small gust of wind blew his white coat that doubled as his cape as he straightened his green tie hidden beneath his opulent and striped yellow suit.

Being an admiral was awesome; you didn't have to do shit other than sign a few papers and kick some ass. The very job kicked ass. After he got bored with seeing the help pick up the pieces, he let out a sigh as he retired into his chambers, which was luckily left unharmed throughout the duration of the would-be war.

"Wow~! That was a pretty scary war back there~!" Kizaru remarked sarcastically, dragging out his words slowly.

As he went inside and shut his door, he went to his desk and sat down on his fine mahogany chair. He reached for one of his precious cigars, that he made out of Basil Hawkins' flesh. After lighting it up and taking a good drag, he blew out a fog of smoke as he contemplated on what to do next while everyone else was worried about building themselves back up again.

While he was one of the best admirals, he really couldn't care less about what happened to other people, besides himself. Truthfully, he could've ended the war himself, but he really didn't feel like it. Instead, he just worked with minimal effort up until Ben Beckman decided to act like a badass, by pointing a gun in his general direction. To which he held up his hands mockingly. What surprised him, was that he was stupid enough to think he had actually surrendered, before falling in with this ragtag team of rapscallions who call themselves pirates.

Not to mention he faked his attack on Law's submarine, knowing that he is in for loads of troubles in the future.

Kizaru felt like he needed a break from being so awesome around his subordinates, and then it hit him; He had vacation days. His smile widened as he thought that a vacation was justified after his years of servitude and asskickery. The best part was that he knew just the place to enjoy his time off. After finishing his cigar and hopping up from his chair, his red glasses gave off a shine "It's settled~! I'm gonna go enjoy myself~." He chose to leave from his domain and search for a good ship to use.

If there were any left that is...

In his stride, the awesome admiral noticed an old bag of bones his size, that looked like Akainu on a good day, walking past him. Kizaru decided to actually be courteous for once and greet the old coot wearing his white outfit "Why, hello there, Vice Admiral Garp~. Lovely day, isn't it~?"

The old fucker didn't say a word as he continued to walk away from him. No doubt he must be feeling sorry for the unfortunate hothead that got killed by another hothead. What can you do? Since when did fire ever beat lava? Kizaru shrugged off the displeasure he felt from being ignored and continued his search for a ship. His search was cut short when he noticed that every single ship out at the port was either a floating pile of wood or a tray of corpses.

"Well~...That's no good at all, is it~?" Kizaru said to himself as he scratched his head in thought. The sound of mechanical footsteps stopped his thought as he looked back and noticed a Pacifista that was quite possibly in good condition for being one of many models used in the earlier battle. The moment he turned to face the mechanized Kuma clone, it gave off a proper salute.

Kizaru tilted his head as he examined the Pacifista's respectful gesture "You silly robot~...Why aren't you with Sentomaru~? He's not gonna be happy to see a Pacifista acting on its own free will, you know~!"

The Pacifista broke its salute and pointed to the right, to which Kizaru turned to find a perfectly functional marine ship with no one on it sitting idly by at the ruined harbor. Kizaru's spirits lifted as he turned to the Pacifista and gave him a thumbs up "Excellent work~! For a rebellious robot, you still have a lot of use~." He then waved off the Pacifista and made for the token marine ship with a spring in his step. After commandeering the vessel for himself, he set sail to unknown waters.

Unknown to his comrades at least.

He traveled by himself for three days until he reached a secret island that was never recorded on the world map; not only was it vast, but it was full of color. He docked at a port of what appeared to be a large city filled with nothing but technicolor equines acting like people. They all stopped what they were doing when they caught a glimpse of Kizaru in all of his glory as he stood atop the crow's nest of his ship in a beacon of light "Hello~! How's it going~?" He greeted with a wave, to which the many ponies rejoiced after his greeting.

Kizaru hopped off of his vessel and strode into town as he passed by the cheering ponies one by one "This place hasn't changed a bit~. Good thing no one knows about its existence, or there could be trouble~." He said to himself as he strolled further into town. There was truth in his words. He couldn't risk such a wonderful place being discovered by his subordinates; they could not only screw over his vacation time, but the new world that only he had knowledge of.

"Kizaru! I love you!" One of the mares said to him as he passed by.

"It's good to see you back in Equestria again, Kizaru! You're looking great!" A stallion complimented shortly after.

"Baltimare wasn't as popular until you came along!" A sea captain said as he saluted the tall admiral with a foreleg.

As much as he loved to stay with the welcoming ponies that continued to cheer him on, Kizaru had another place to be. That place happened to be far from Baltimare, but not too far for his special traveling technique. The awesome admiral cupped his hands towards his chest, his left hand resting above while his right hand was below; in the gap between his palms shined a source of light that was directed towards the train station "Yata no Kagami~!" The light from Kizaru's hands shot outward as his entire body became engulfed in light and traveled along with the created beam, bouncing off many buildings as it led towards its desired location.

When he reached the station, he saw there was currently no train in sight, much to his dismay "Ooooh~...Looks like I'll have to take an alternative route~..." He said, smiling despite his position. Turning to his right, he saw how the railroad tracks were leading towards a small forest, a set of mountains, and a tunnel that was at the base of another mountain that housed a distant castle city hanging on the edge.

Kizaru chuckled to himself at how such a route seemed so convenient "Second time's the charm~. I don't feel like waiting for the next train~," With his new destination set,
he cupped his palms.

As his palms lit up, a brown colt with a yellow mane was galloping up to the admiral with a book and pencil in his mouth. When he reached Kizaru, he spat out both items to smile up at him "Hey there, Kizaru! I was wondering if I can have your auto-"

"Yata no Kagami~!"

Like a bolt from the blue (Or yellow, for that matter), Kizaru became one with the light and shined as bright as the sun. As he did so, the little colt next to where the admiral once stood was now observing with his corneas roasting like a certain deceased pirate "MY EYES!!" Much to the colt’s misfortune, Kizaru had shot off in a trail of light before he could feel any sympathy, or lack thereof, for his actions.
_____

A trail of light was seen ricocheting past several trees and rocks before entering a dark and dreary tunnel that had the fortune of being lit up by such a brilliant source. A few minutes later, the light had stopped in front of the walls of a large city and gathered to reveal Kizaru standing in all of his marine glory.

He looked up at the castle behind the walls and his smile widened "Ah~...This city's as marvelous as ever~," Kizaru stated contently as he strode inside, past the front gate. Much like Baltimare, the many ponies in the city - all of whom were dressed like pompous and uppity nobles - quickly bowed in genuflect as if he were a visiting ruler. Kizaru could only feel loved from the attention...

Then he had to deal with this jimmy rustler in front of him.

A sophisticated unicorn with a well-groomed blonde mane and a sour look on his supposedly handsome face. Behind him were two stallions in golden armor holding spears. He took a step forward and looked up at Kizaru "You again? Why would you choose to dirty the ground of my fine city, with your repugnant legs?" He spat in disgust.

Kizaru merely stared down at the pony with his usual winning smile. On the inside, he was annoyed that he had to deal with him yet again, but he didn't mind it, since he was having a good day already. He closed his eyes as his smile appeared polite "Prince Blueblood~! So nice to see you again~! I was just on my way to visit your aunt~."

Blueblood sneered "There you go again, acting as if you honestly share ANY sort of relationship with my precious aunt. You humans are all the same!"

Kizaru quickly held up his hands in a placating motion, a look of mock fear on his face, "Oh my~! You're so scary today~! I only wanna pay a visit is all~. Is that so bad~?"

Blueblood scowled "It is if you think you can just traipse about at your leisure. You should leave before I take initiative and alert the authorities!"

Kizaru stared before he tilted his head and smiled again "You're so adorable when you're mad~. Won't you move please, so that I may pass~?"

Blueblood snorted "Are you deaf and dumb? I shall do no such-"

The prince was cut off when the right side of his face was engulfed by a brilliant light and his body was easily lifted to his left, a look of shock on his face. Meanwhile, Kizaru merely scratched his chin as he moved his leg and went to shake off the dirty parasite that was stuck to it. The result ended up in a brilliant bullet that went through three mansions. Kizaru merely stared at the damages as the clouds of dust subsided, his smile refusing to leave "I never said that was a request, you know~..." The ponies around Kizaru gasped at the sight.

Until they realized who was kicked. Then they just shrugged it off and left.

The guards stared at Kizaru, then at each other, before they threw off their armor and weapons with cheerful grins "We're free! We're finally free!" They chorused before they skipped past Kizaru further into the city, but not before hugging his legs.

Kizaru felt a small sense of accomplishment, liberating the two guards from their jimmy rustling superior he continued his stride towards the castle, hopefully without anymore detours. He had a day to spend, and he shouldn't waste it now that he was close to his destination.

Th guards stationed by the front gates instantly bowed upon recognizing Kizaru, they moved aside to allow him access as he continued his leisurely stroll behind castle walls and into the castle itself. After many twists and turns, he managed to find a set of large doors and opened them to reveal a vast throne room.

At the far end of the room were two ponies. On an ornate throne, was a tall alabaster mare with wings and a long horn. She was signing papers with a levitating quill, wrapped in a yellow aura. She was wearing golden regalia including a tiara, breastplate, and shoes. Her ethereal mane and tail flowed in a non-existent breeze in the finest hues of pink, green, and blue. A bright sun was seen on her haunches, that may or may not be massive in his eyes.

The other one was a lesser mare with glasses, holding said paperwork. She doesn't really deserve a proper description. But that didn't matter. The regal pony smiled at Kizaru upon his entry.

"Well if it isn't Kizaru! Come to pay a visit while I'm busy?"

Kizaru shrugged "I had nothing better to do~. While I'm happy to uphold my rank as an admiral, it can be a trying task to keep my men in line~." He gave a curt, but proper bow "Nice to see you again, Princess Celestia~."

Celestia frowned "Are you certain it's right to leave them behind like this?" She asked in concern.

Kizaru waved a dismissive hand "You're a joker like always~! They don't need me to guide them constantly; we've got plenty of high-ranking officers back home, that we don't even know what to do with them~!" It was a fact that there were so many captains, commodores, and vice-admirals in the Marines that the ranking system seemed questionable.

"So now that we're here, care to spend the day together as friends~?" The awesome admiral asked genuinely. Out of all the ponies in Equestria, he favored Princess Celestia the most, solely because of her magical ability and her subtly mischievous nature. If she weren't so responsible and soft, she would be considered a female Kizaru.

Celestia sighed despondently as she signed what Kizaru caught a glimpse of. An agreement of sorts involving griffons. "I'd love to spend the day with you again, but I'm currently busy signing all of this paperwork, so we'll have to schedule our day of fun for another time."

Kizaru's smirk widened "What paperwork~?" He asked mischievously.

Celestia blinked at Kizaru and pointed at her stack of paperwork, the top sheet appeared to have her name signed in her signature. She gasped when she realized that the top paper hadn't been signed by her yet, and chose to check out the rest of her papers by sifting through them using the magic radiating from her majestic horn. Her eyes widened when she noticed that all of the papers had also been signed with her name. She looked over at Kizaru with a smirk "It really is good to have you back, Kizaru," Celestia said warmly before she waved off the lesser pony holding the paperwork, "You're dismissed."

Instead of questioning the possibility behind many signatures in a single second, the lesser mare just exited the throne room with the signed papers contently...

...Only to be trampled by a gaggle of guards running from what appeared to be a giant yellow circle that was chomping at them; the mare was unfortunately devoured afterwards as the monstrous circle continued to pursue the guards.

Then a mismatched set of animal parts wearing a pith hat and holding a bug net was seen gliding before stopping at the throne room's entrance, looking at Celestia.

"Don't worry Celly, I'm only playing a game with the guards," He said nonchalantly. He noticed Kizaru and waved with a grin, "Hey there, Borsalino!" He said before flying after the guards with net in claw.

Celestia placed a hoof on her temple as she drew out a stressed sigh, "I've got to remember to keep Discord under control."

Kizaru shifted his eyes at Celestia with a playful smirk, "You'd have a better shot at housing a group of deadly assassins~."

Celestia rolled her eyes before she shared Kizaru's smile, "Always the cheeky one. What shall we do first?"

Kizaru pointed a learning finger "Why not pester the nobility~? They deserve it for being so callous towards you~."

Celestia paused before she shook her head with a distasteful frown "Oh no, Kizaru, no. No, no, no. Definitely not."
_____

Sticky Mudd. Politician extraordinaire. Thanks to his cutthroat approach to his job as part of the council of nobles in Celestia's court, he had fame, power, and wealth beyond anypony's wildest dreams. He wore high-class blue robes that covered his unappealing brown coat, and had so many lines under his eyes they'd be confused with whiskers.

He was just about to enjoy a drink that consisted of the tears of the lower class in the comfort of his mansion, until he heard the doorbell. Luckily, he had maids to answer the door for him.

"Mr. Mudd, sir! It's for you!"

Or so he thought. With a snort, he set down his glass and went downstairs. As he went down, he noticed how the maid that had answered the door quickly bolted away as if a bomb were to go off "Hey, I'm not paying you to-AAAAAAAAAUGH!"

Before he could finish his stuffy sentence, he was blinded by an intense light. He was unable to find the offender, but he did hear some agitating words.

"Congratulations~! You're one of many ponies to actually see the light~!"

Sticky Mudd wished to swat at the source of the voice, but only ended up falling forward while he was still blind.

Meanwhile, a certain admiral and pony princess distanced themselves away from Mudd Manor innocently while the owner basked in a cesspool of his own fail. Celestia giggled, "You've done me a service, Kizaru. I should make it an effort to have you here more often."

"Ah~, but we've only just begun~." Kizaru replied as he pulled out a small list and went through the contents:

Taxen Tariff

Silver Tongue

Line D. Pockets

Empty Promise

Kizaru had to make sure to pester Mr. Pockets extra hard each time he ever came by Canterlot to hang out with Celestia. Something that stallion possessed, gave him the resilience to put up with whatever the admiral threw at him. When he spotted a golden mansion in his stride, Kizaru looked over at his royal friend, "Are you ready~?"

Celestia nodded with a smile, "As I'll ever be." She looked over at the mansion with disdain, "Taxen deserves proper treatment for the many bills he places in front of me nowadays."

They approached the entrance, and Kizaru rang the doorbell as the two waited patiently for an answer. Needless to say, another maid answered the door, and she was overtaken by the sight of Princess Celestia and the Awesome Admiral Kizaru, instantly bowing in reverence to their obvious glory. The latter leaned his head down towards the maid with a fixed smile.

"Is Mr. Tariff home?" He said as he pointed a shining finger towards the now-shivering maid, "We have a matter of utmost importance to discuss~..." He said in a deceptively polite tone.

The maid whimpered as she began to sweat bullets, then turned to Celestia, who merely nodded with what she perceived as a warm smile. She paused before galloping inside.

"Mr. Tariff, sir! It's for you!"
_____

Right now, Kizaru and Celestia were riding along Canterlot on a personal chariot being pulled by a quartet of nervous guards, both of them enjoying fine wine as they took in the scenery of the city cheering for them. A drink was just what Kizaru needed after having to deal with Line D. Pockets, somehow seeing past his clever ruse of wanting to blind him using a mirror. Unaware of the fact that the mirror had no effect on Kizaru and Celestia, Line was kicked back into his house instead.

The attacker currently remains anonymous, according to a couple of trustworthy eye-witnesses.

Celestia sighed contently after she sipped from her glass, "I can't remember the last time I actually relaxed like this..."

Kizaru grinned, "What about when Equestria is in danger~?" The two shared a hearty laugh after the question.

Celestia smiled.

"You raise a good point. I don't think I've ever had any trouble dealing with whatever my land is suffering from during a crisis. It's practically the only time I ever enjoy time to myself. The best part is that there aren't any catastrophes to deal with at the moment."

Kizaru stared blankly at Celestia. A part of him wanted to smack her for saying those particular words. Before he could, however, some green fire briefly appeared in front of Celestia's face before giving way to a wrapped scroll. She reflexively grabbed and unraveled it with her magic to notice some sloppy writing on the parchment.

PRINCESS!

SOME WEIRD GUY CONTROLLING MAGMA'S WRECKING PONYVILLE!

PLEASE HELP US!

SPIKE!

P.S: We mean it this time, please help us. The library's burning and Twilight's unconscious.

Princess Celestia read the letter and let off a sigh, "Looks like I better cut our time short again," She said sadly.

Kizaru looked at Celestia before holding out a hand to her, "May I see that letter~?" The letter levitated into the admiral's grasp, and he easily read the message despite it looking as if it were better off crumbled and tossed in the nearest rubbish bin. He, too, let off a sigh, "How unfortunate~..." He crumbled up the letter and tossed it into a passing rubbish bin as he stood up on the chariot, "This is a job for me and me alone~."

Celestia stared at Kizaru in shock "You? But you're going to be fighting a creature with the ability to control magma!"

"Exactly~," Kizaru said with a confident smirk "I'll be right back~. Be sure to enjoy the rest of this ride while I'm gone, okay~?" He said as he activated his Yata no Kagami, and flew off into the sky rather than ricochet off of the city's buildings, leaving behind a confused Celestia in his wake.
_____

Ponyville. A central hub for magic, friendship, and copious amounts of craziness. Home to the Elements of Harmony, three-time heroines of Equestria. Several memorable moments, good and bad, could be had in this very homely town. One of said moments, was a torrent of lava wrecking the place, and causing the panic of several ponies.

Enough screams to break a house made of glass filled the air as the many townsponies made an effort to avoid the passing magma at all costs, as it flowed across the ground and spewed in geysers around certain areas. Lyra and Bon Bon were sitting on the roof of their house, screaming in terror as they watched the ground floor catch fire. A zebracorn wearing a tophat was riding a borrowed hot air balloon, while looking down at the chaotic image. Derpy Hooves was simply sleeping on a coffee table that was not only wading in a sea of lava, but it wasn't catching fire or burning up at all.

At the center of the chaos was a tall human wearing a red suit and a white marine coat much similar to Kizaru. The grim and hardened gaze on his aged face was obscured by the white cap on his head. He continued to look around as he growled to himself, "Where could that idiot be?"

All he received were more screams of fear and agony in response. This was getting him nowhere. There was plenty of work to be done back at headquarters, and he couldn't stand for one of his many subordinates loafing around on his watch. When he spotted a glint of light in the sky, he bared his teeth and squinted his eyes, "There!"

The light dove downward towards the only untouched patch of ground seen around the magma-covered town and materialized into a certain smiling admiral with his hands tucked in his trouser pockets. When he spotted the chaotic intruder in his sights, Kizaru's smile widened.

"Why, Akainu~, how did you find me~?" He asked, surprised to actually see one of his equals (As far as rank, anyways...) standing in Equestria, though at a different location.

Akainu glared at the awesome admiral as his right arm turned into magma, "Aokiji tipped me off about this place and I refused to just let you use up your vacation days when we've just finished an enormous battle with those damnable pirates!"

Of course it had to be that ice cold bastard that would ruin his fun without a second thought. Perhaps that was the price to pay for offering him to join in on a day off from his workload. Kizaru would make it an effort to return the favor tenfold at a later date. Instead, he focused on the present and tilted his head at the hotheaded admiral in front of him, "Okay~, but why attack these poor defenseless ponies~?"

"Because they refused to answer my question involving your exact location, saying that they don't even know who you are! Clearly they're lying to me, so now they're suffering for their villainous actions!" Akainu barked indignantly, shooting his right fist upward and launching a magma bullet that managed to strike down a hot air balloon that happened to be floating above him, eliciting a panicked scream as it landed next to him and sat in the lava before it burst into flames.

Typical Akainu, thought Kizaru, all justice and no rationality. It was a chore to be lawful, but there had to be the kind of people that would willingly abandon their humanity so they would make sure everything went their way no matter what. Kizaru shrugged and continued smiling at Akainu, "Sorry, Sakazuki, but I don't have any intention on going back to headquarters~. I used up my vacation days fair and square, you know~."

Akainu balled his hands into fists as his left arm became magma.

"You're making a mistake, Kizaru," He said in a low and dangerous tone, "I'll give you one last chance to come back quietly before I take you back by force. We've been in service to the World Government for most of our lives, and your negligence will not be tolerated!"

"Wow~! Scary as always, aren't you~?" Kizaru remarked defiantly, the smile refusing to leave his face, "I'll be sure to join you momentarily, but right now I'm having the time of my life and you're using up my vacation days~..." A glint was seen on his glasses as he raised his right leg and shot it outwards in a kick, sending off a beam of light that pierced Akainu directly in the chest, nearly catching him off-guard as he became one with the magma that covered the burning town, sinking into the ground.

Kizaru stood calmly still as he remained in his untouched spot on the ground. Waiting patiently, he let off a small and quiet sigh before the sound of a roaring geyser behind him filled his ears.

From the magma geyser, Akainu melded into plain sight, anger clear in his eyes as he reeled back his left fist and went to strike, "Kizaru!" He shouted as he brought his magma-covered arm towards the awesome admiral.

Only to see it easily go through him while Kizaru stood perfectly still.

Akainu cursed himself for remembering Kizaru's exemplary reflexes when tapping into his Devil Fruit. Meanwhile, the aforementioned admiral shifted his gaze behind him "That was close, Akainu~. You almost had me there~," He said teasingly as he nonchalantly strolled away from his attacker's range before shooting into the air in a trail of light.

When the light was over Ponyville, it subsided to reveal Kizaru, who was still unphased by both Ponyville's destruction and Akainu's rising fury. Between both cases, the town can rebuild itself and his so-called comrade can get over himself (or try to, at least.). Kizaru crossed his arms and had his index finger touch his thumb on both hands as they began to glow. He knew what he had to do if it meant making sure he didn't miss Akainu. Paying no heed to the many curious eyes below him, Kizaru widened his smile as the glow on his hands brightened

"Yasakani no Magatama."

From the sky above Ponyville rained a storm of glorious golden bullets courtesy of Kizaru. Everything the light touched had been further decimated while a majority of it pelted the lava in its wide radius. In the sky, Kizaru continued to make it rain like irresponsible marines with their paychecks 'He's got to show himself sometime~...'

As the many pellets of light pierced the lake of magma below, it only took a short moment until a large gusher of magma shot up towards Kizaru and revealed itself to be an angry and beaten Akainu.

"You self-centered cretin!" He shouted as he attempted to reach him.

"Look who's talking~..." Kizaru replied cheekily before he made his right leg glow. Before Akainu could land a hit, Kizaru kicked the hotheaded admiral and sent him flying down below, "Go back to the beginning~!" Kizaru said mockingly.

While Akainu sped down and crashed into his own lake of magma, Kizaru carefully landed at the top of Town Hall, which was lucky to even be standing in its currently-battered condition. He tilted his head as he looked down at the flowing lava below and waited patiently for Akainu to try and get back at him for his easy shot.

Then he realized that he was wasting his time despite having too much fun trolling his subordinate. Kizaru closed his eyes as he heaved a sigh "What a pain, this is~...I should cut it short if I'm to enjoy myself~." He said as he brought out his right hand, smirking as he was ready to unveil his secret attack.

When he spotted a certain area of magma bubbling profusely, Kizaru bent his knees as he awaited the proper moment to strike. When Akainu revealed himself as he shot upward towards Kizaru, the awesome admiral instantly leapt towards him as well, his right hand turning black in the process. He readied it over his left shoulder, and when Akainu got close...

SMACK!

Akainu was not only hurt badly from the attack, but he was sent flying as if he were struck by Kuma's Paw Paw Fruit. As he flew off into the sky, he roared in anger while his image faded from view.

"KIZAAAARRRRRUUUUUUUuuuuuu...."

Kizaru was happy when he heard the voice fade completely followed by seeing a glint of light. He landed on what was left of a house made of candy as he looked up "Well, that takes care of that~..." He looked at the nightmarish scenery caused by himself and Akainu after doing away with the pretentious hellhound. Such madness could be taken in from a simple glance...

Meanwhile, Kizaru just shrugged it off and smiled.

"That was awesome!" Came a bubbly voice to Kizaru's right. He noticed a pink pony sitting in a lawn chair with a bag of popcorn in her hooves, "Thanks for getting rid of that meanie pants, mister!" She said genuinely, sporting a wide grin.

Kizaru, easily taken in by the sudden praise, waved a hand as his smiled at the pony "It was nothing~. You enjoy yourself, okay~?"

The pink pony nodded with a smile "I will!" She looked at the ruined town and her smile faltered, "Dunno about everypony else, though..."

Kizaru shrugged again, "Nothing a little song won't fix~. Bye-bye, now~!" He said as he became a trail of light and flew off towards Canterlot.

Lyra and Bon Bon shivered and held each other with eyes wide as dinner plates as their manes and coats were singed. Derpy was seen wading on her table with a convenient umbrella that was seen with burn marks. At the burning remains of the hot air balloon, nopony could hear the sound that escaped from the pile.

"I'm okay!"
_____

Kizaru and Celestia sat at the balcony of the latter's bedroom, both enjoying a plate of the finest marble cake in Equestria. As Celestia swallowed her bite, she smiled warmly at Kizaru, "I cannot thank you enough for your help today, Kizaru."

The admiral enjoyed a bite of his own cake before he replied, "Well, I had to defend your country somehow~. It was tough risking my life out there~." He said mockingly.

Celestia looked over at the rising smoke coming from Ponyville, "We might have to send in our finest workers to repair the many damages caused in Ponyville..."

Kizaru smiled, "Have Discord do it~."

Celestia shook her head "This isn't something he would do willingly..."

Kizaru pointed his fork at himself as his smile widened, "I'll make him do it~," The two shared a laugh after his offer.

There was a beeping sound as Celestia perked up and looked at her table, which contained a Den Den Mushi continuously beeping. She set down her cake plate before picking up the transceiver and speaking into it, "Hello?"

The snails eyes suddenly became feminine with pupils of turquoise, though they were narrowed, "Sister, I may need your help. We're having trouble on the moon right now after we chose to go on one of our nostalgia trips," The snail said with a female's voice.

Celestia knew exactly who it was as she looked worried, "Luna? Can you tell me what's happening?"

"Well..."
_____

Meanwhile, on the moon, Princess Luna was seen flying through the air and dodging several spears and large bolts of lightning while she was holding her own Den Den Mushi, "Remember when I said that I enjoyed my time being banished on the moon?" She grunted when she barely avoided a lightning bolt that singed a part of her wing "Well, I take that back; I'm having some disputes with these folks I let stay here..."

She looked ahead irritably at what appeared to be bipedal dwarven figures wearing armor and wielding spears, moustaches seen on their faces. In front of them was a shirtless human wearing a white bandana, gold bands on his arms and legs, and a gold ring on both of his big toes; He had ears with long earlobes that went down to his torso, with gold diamond-shaped earrings seen at the end of them. There was a metal ring in his back containing a set of four unique drums; he wore orange baggy pants covered by a blue sash. With a large gold staff in his right hand, he grinned at Luna, "Yahahahahaha! You know you aren't permitted to dwell in God's domain! I'll give you one last chance to leave before I have my faithful warriors send you to Hell personally!"

Luna groaned as she got in a defensive stance. 'This is what I get for allowing visitors on my moon. The last ones were much nicer than this jackass...' She spoke into her Den Den Mushi "Please hurry, I'd be lucky if I can hold him off long enough by myself," She said before hanging up and charging towards the human with a god complex.
_____

Celestia hung up the Den Den Mushi and shook her head before she directed a smile at Kizaru as her horn was glowing.

Kizaru stared at her before he scratched the back of his head and let off a half-disappointed moan, "I guess that even on vacation, an admiral's work is never done~..." He said before him and Celestia vanished in a flash of light.

The End

Author's Note:

For all of you caught-up fans, do you remember the battle that took place at Punk Hazard between Akainu and Aokiji with the given results from both parties?

This guy:

Hope you enjoyed this little one-shot of mine. Meanwhile, I have other priorities to deal with thanks to the scourge that is real life :trixieshiftleft:

Thanks for reading! Peace! :twilightsmile:

Comments ( 17 )
Comment posted by NightmareKnight deleted Jan 12th, 2014

Kizaru:

Don't give a fuck at any time.

And IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII helped!

Yes! Best admiral!!!!

Best part was kicking Blueblood through the building hahahahahaha!

3775689 *gives a cookie* :moustache:

As he went inside and shut his door, he went to his desk and sat down on his fine mahogany chair.

...mahogany

3776294 Whether TeamFourStar or Hunger Games, the reference has been found *gives an internet*

I like how you referenced War Criminals so blatantly… just like how everything else in this thing is presented: blatantly. And I wouldn't have it any other way… Dirty Bit, you have earned a chocolate chip cookie! Fresh out of the oven!

3782463 Sweet! :pinkiehappy: *Goes to eat cookie, but hears the word 'EXTERMINATE' coming from it* ...:trixieshiftleft: Now I'm skeptical...

In his stride, the awesome admiral noticed an old bag of bones his size, that looked like Akainu on a good day, walking past him. Kizaru decided to actually be courteous for once and greet the old coot wearing his white outfit "Why, hello there, Vice Admiral Garp~. Lovely day, isn't it~?"

...:rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh:
I just bucking lost it there! If this fic was written by Kizaru, this is how he would write his own story! :rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh:
"Unclear Justice" in his element ladies and gentlecolts!

3782463
DALEKS HAVE NO CONCEPT OF JUSTICE!:pinkiecrazy:
EXPLAIN! EXPLAIN! EEXPLAAIINN!

Eneru, just, Eneru

Awesome story!:scootangel:

Well Kizaru has one weird sense of Justice.

He calls it, "I don't give a shit so I'm blasting everyone and everything in my way" Justice.

That... fits pretty well actually.

You two talking about me?

HOLY SHIT! WHERE'D YOU COME FROM!?

I invited him here. You're late by the way.

4491751 Classic Kizaru :rainbowkiss::moustache:

Huh, very nice and funny job here!

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