The Great and Not Obsessive Trixie2,047 stories ·1,636 members
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When the Great and Powerful Trixie manages to vanquish an Ursa Minor rampaging through Ponyville, Twilight Sparkle finds herself with a ruined reputation. And as Trixie continues to gain in popularity, Twilight finds herself more and more alone.
Revenge may seem like the only available option, but maybe there are more things going on than it seems...
Addenum: No, this is not in any way a Twilight-bashing story. Please read before you make up your mind.
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Awesome job there, dude.
For a "what if", this is not too bad. It stretches believability in regards to Trixie getting a "power up" and the romance angle. For a story like this, I would have gone the friendship route, not the "I'm secretly crushing hard" route. It would have made a more show accurate portrayal.
For a one-shot, it gets my approval!
Others will take exception to Twilight's jealousy, though. Fair warning.
That was pretty cute, with some especially good moments for Rainbow Dash what with it being a Twixie fic.
No idea what's with the like/dislike blip at the moment. Hopefully it peters out soon.
3773572 Thank you! I've taken lessons in 'how to torment your protagonists for fun and plot development'.
3773858 True, though the story was kind of requested from a thread on the Twixie! group. Should I make an alternate 'non-romantic' version?
3774163 Well, she doesn't have any reason to hate Trixie in this continuity. Besides, I'd much rather write RD being awesome than RD being an angry bully.
Given that for a while I had two views and four votes, I can only assume some people vote based on the concept rather than the actual story. Feels rather petty, but what can I do? Until they actually post a comment saying what they don't like about it, there's nothing to do about it.
Got to say this story seems rather unfairly down voted although I can understand why.
It does come off as flanderising Twilight (anything Twilight can do Trixie can do better) quite a bit in the first half although it does build on her known character flaws. It could maybe do with being extended a bit so that more of Trixie's and Twilight's motivations can be seen.
Hey teacher, leave those kids alone!
Stupid Sexy Trixie!
With all the downvotes this story got, I thought it was going to be shitty, but decided to give it a chance since it was Twixie. All I can say is that I'm glad I decided to give it a chance! It's not the greatest thing I've ever read, but it's nowhere close to being bad. Gave me a good chuckle or two, and I never grew bored while reading. All in all, I'd say it's pretty good.
3774596
If you'd like to make a non-romance version, go ahead. I may go over slightly better. Just remember that if you mess with one of the fandom's favorite characters you'll get downvoted regardless of the story's quality.
3774978 Thanks for taking the chance.
3774596
Given the initial reaction I got to breaking up the Cadance wedding in a fic I can very much vouch for that
Though it stumbled a little in the beginning, I thought this was really cute, and had some great (and funny) moments. I give it two hooves up.
In the very next sentence, you mention that Twilight is surprised by Trixie's outburst of power. I think you could have worked that into her dialogue with something like this:
Silly Rarity. You make no sense.
It what precisely? Silly author, you make no sense.
Seeing one of your stories with so many downvotes made me wonder if you had suddenly decided to punch out a piece of crap and submit it as a cheap indulgence. Seriously, where the heck did they come from? Did you make enemies out of some trolls?
It was a cute AU story, to be sure. Grouchy Twilight is always adorable.
Do I sense a song reference?
That would convey her emotion better, thanks.
I'm not certain whether Rarity is supposed to know what's going on here or not. She's starting to turn into a very strange pony in my interpretation recently.
Hit, struck, conked, bludgeoned, stevedored, delivered a touch of that Texan love. You know.
Well, it was produced in one very exhausting go, so quality may have been suspect (by the end, I was only hypothetically aware of what my hands were doing, and the room kept rolling oddly). That said, I think I caught some flack from people who thought I was bashing Twilight unreasonably and downvoted it on principle. Hence the quickly added disclaimer.
You'd think that wouldn't be necessary given that even the main show doesn't pull its punches on her (Winter Wrap-Up, Feeling Pinkie Keen, Lesson Zero...) but hey. And she's my favorite character, besides the one I like to set her up with.
All the better to make others want to hug her. Unfortunately she needed to see sense before that could happen.
No, just a callback to canon Applejack's line from the show.
The thing is... I can honestly see canon-Twilight becoming this unhinged if this happened. Honestly, truly see it. This was great.
3783337
3776359
Uh, okay? Now I need to know, please? And thanks for your enthusiastic approval.
Also, this is first-season Twilight, who has yet to fully come to terms with living in Equestria's largest open-air sanitarium (aka Ponyville) and is more than just a little emotionally fragile. Pre-Lesson Zero? Of course she'd crumble like a stale cupcake.
3783793
Inside joke on another forum basically. Just take it as a compliment
That strikes me as very... Gollum-ish... It also near exactly reminds me of some character from a TV show or something, but I can't remember... It's infuriating...
The first half of this story was so painful, but the second half was so good. Awesome. Interesting to see how believable this whole situation is when reversed.
4086442 Yeah, I racked up a whole bunch of unfaves until I posted the disclaimer that it wasn't a Twilight bashing story.
I like writing stories from the perspective of a character who doesn't have all the facts. You can really mess with the readers' expectations that way.
This story is so much fun. Are Trixie and Twilight slightly out of character for the sake of the story? Yah, but I had a grin on my face throughout the entire story. What made this story even better was how it went above and beyond the concept of the story to add interactions between Trixie and the Mane 6 throughout cannon events (for example, one of my favorite scenes was were Trixie and Fluttershy were both modeling for Photo Finish).
I don't understand why this fic is getting so many down votes. The only explenation I can think of is that they are ether anti-Trixie or unimaginative because this fic was just fun and doesn't deserve the negativity.
4440309 Twilight and Trixie are a fair bit OOC, yes. Twilight's taken a brutal blow to her image at a time when she was feeling very self-conscious about her magic, and her overreaction is supposed to reflect canon Trixie's reaction to having her image ruined. (Personally, I believe that she grossly overestimated how much of a laughingstock she had been made.) Conversely, Trixie is a lot nicer here; not only is she in love, but she's also being treated as the hero she wants to be, which inspires her to be a better pony in return.
Tying into canon events was really fun. Glad you liked it! I wanted Trixie's presence to really grate on Twilight, so having her take part in their personal adventures worked just fine. As you can imagine, those events didn't turn out quite the same as on the show...
As for downvotes, what can you do? I think some people got the impression this was a Twilight-bashing story, seeing as how they stopped when I put up a disclaimer. Some people downvote without actually reading, sadly.
Thank you for the positive comments!
This is really good stuff, but I wonder how you handle drama?
Good stuff
This was playing in my head during the montage scene of Trixie "upstaging" Twilight during the canon events:
Meh.
It was... rather unappealing.
At first, I thought this could be interesting development, but as things unfolded.... Meh. Just meh. You handed Twilight an idiot ball, and handed it hard. It would be far more interesting if she reacted the other way.
“And here I thought Twilight Sparkle would at least help her.”
"Why? She managed just fine."
Twilight is not envious, jealous or resentful about stolen spotlight. Rather, she is very much glad everypony now goes to Trixie, leaving her to read books in peace. This? Would be an interesting angle to explore.
5662686 A somewhat valid point, but I don't think even canon Twilight would appreciate being treated as a fraud and a public joke for weeks on end, even if she has a lot of books to distract herself with. She's humble, but not that humble.
5662855
She has valid retorts she would think of ahead.
"Am I supposed to handle everything in Ponyville? Since when I`m the Ponyville problem-solver? Yes, I did deal with some of the outstanding threats before. That does not mean I am obligated to tackle any and all problems apparent. This particular one was handled adequately, and I saw no reason to interfere. Two cooks spoil the soup, after all."
I imagine that would be quite enough to shame any heckler into embarrassed fuming.
And yes, I do imagine Twilight would be irked enough to use that kind of retort - when you are taken for granted, a whole lot of reservations tend to vanish.
5122555
Sounds about right.
The dragon was the moment Trixie passed into into 'intentional mary sue' level. Of course, a REAL Mary Sue has the narrative on their side, or at least the moral high ground or the 'more reasonable party' in a gray and gray scenario according to the author.
“But she hired me…” Rarity stammered. “It’s my job, don’t you see...?”
You have a right to refuse service Rarity.
“It wasn’t easy to do it without magic, but we persevered,”
-_- It was only the unicorns prevented to do magic, the pegasi and the earth ponies were allowed to just fine.
I see Trixie didn't steal Twilight's 'organization' talent. Odd. Interesting.
And Twilight is the one with the out of nowhere crush on Trixie here? Oy.
“You don’t have to look if you don’t want to,” Rarity said.
-_- Hard not to when it posted on posters and advertisements everywhere.
-She felt a bit apprehensive about entering at first, but then she remembered that Snips and Snails had walked in just fine several months earlier. In fact, they had just blundered in without any preparation. How stupid were those colts? Not counting the fact that they kept sticking to Trixie’s flank like two extra cutie marks, which was pretty stupid to begin with. Obviously, a smart and well-prepared pony like Twilight had nothing to worry about. She lit up her horn and entered, searching for her quarry.-
This is actually a logical argument.
Interesting reconstruction of Trixie's tall tales.
(And she had the birth certificate to prove it. Best parents ever!)
HEH!
Personally, this whole chapter kept making think it would turn out to be TRUE role reversal spell, where they were allowed to see things from each other's perspectives. I think still Twilight+Trixie has no basis in canon.
4440309
I have to say there were some moments where they did feel somewhat out of character, and Trixie feeling like a Sue in some places how she was inserted into canon events. Reminds me of Shukuro Tsukishima from Bleach.
6468540 The story is entirely from Twilight's POV, and she thinks that Trixie is insufferable, that Trixie tries to make her look bad, and that everypony is on Trixie's side. Thus, there is a distinct bias to the narrative...
I did a Rarity impression before I even knew Twi did one
I love the story dude, it made me happy comparing to how bad of a day I had yesterday
Also needs a comedy tag, this was hilarious!
6729293 I'm happy to hear that.
This is actually quite terrifying. The spell, and the fact that she used it on giant space bears.
Here is her whole middle name: Jennifer, Jay, Rose, Donna, Martha, Pumpkin, Danger, Loyalty, Professionalism, Daredevil, Bestpony, Cthulhu Fhtagn, Klaatu Barada Nikto, Lauren Faust, Ashleigh Ball, Delicatessa, Windowshade, Mackrelmint, and Ephraim's Daughter.
5664743
Somepony's retort to that: Yes you are supposed to handle everything in Ponyville. Since you were banished to Ponyville from Canterlot, obviously.
9970744
At that point, I imagine that even mild-mannered Twilight would sue.
9970821
Well what is the populace of Ponyville supposed to think?
9970852
About what?
Why in the name of all that is sane would populace of ANY town expect a librarian to be their primary troubleshooter? If she were appointed mayor or put in charge of some kind of force that could be reasonably expected to reply to emergency, then maybe. But why exactly would you expect a librarian to save your hide if mayor and guard aren`t on the job first?
9971337
Sure, but that's before she reportedly took down Nightmare Moon.. After she reportedly did that, it would be only natural for the ponies in Ponyville to think of her as their primary troubleshooter!
9971487
"Natural to think" does not equal obligation. She`d be entirely within her rights and reason to dismiss any such assertions.
Something like...
9971505
"You're supposed to be the Princess's Student! OF COURSE you're also the hero of the realm! You think the Princess would have sent you up against Nightmare Moon if the princess wasn't training you to be the hero of the realm?!"
"How is this space bear MY mess?! Also, if you DON'T take care of the messes, you'll die too!"
9971598
Do tell, which one of us spent years being private student of princess? And with that in mind, who is more likely to know what princess wanted? Hint - it`s certainly not you. So... yeah. Until she deigns to hold an official ceremony acknowledging me as such, I`m going to work on assumption that I`m meant to be librarian here. And magic researcher, while we`re at it. Something I`m already behind on, with your incessant demands.
Do remind me, who boasted to all and sundry about defeating such a beast? And who baited the beast in question into the town? Hint-hint - Twilight Sparkle is a wrong answer to both questions. You have someone who professed aptitude in dealing with the problem, go bother her.
Funny fan fiction! It was funny to watch this change of roles.
It seems to me that Twilight would have behaved exactly like this if not for the potential intervention of Celestia, who, by the way, could have turned all attention to Trixie
. Twilight locked herself in her library and read there all days.