• Published 31st Jan 2014
  • 3,730 Views, 56 Comments

Slide - Comet Burst

Thunderlane and Derpy have an interesting relationship, one that started with a simple mix up.

  • ...

So why don't you slide

Thunderlane blinked up at the moonlight as it illuminated the ceiling, his mind churning with activity. It was late into the night—probably early in the morning, truthfully—meaning he should really go to sleep if he intended to make it to the Weather Team meet the next day.

The small nuzzle followed by a sigh into his chest caused him to glance down; Derpy was fast asleep, foreleg draped across him and her head rising and falling with every gentle breath. She looked so happy while she slept.

He gently brushed away some rogue strands of her mane, which allowed him to get a good look at her face. Her mouth was slightly open, lightly blowing around the fur farther down his chest, while her eyes twitched under their lids. He had to admit, she was even cuter when not trying.

Looking back up, he extracted his wing from under Derpy’s body and took a deep breath, reflecting on the evening. After entering her home, Thunderlane had expected Derpy to do the predictable thing and try to seduce him. Sure enough, she was drunk enough to try the dumb line of the ‘coffee being in her bedroom’ and asking him to come get it with her.

Though he had no intention of taking advantage of her, he didn’t necessarily fight back when she pinned him to the bed and started making out with him. Thankfully, she passed out during the brief session and he had laid there ever since, not wanting to disturb her.

On his way up here, he had noticed the walls were covered in pictures. Most of them depicted Derpy and Dinky doing something together—like flying or cooking—but he did notice a couple involving a brown stallion, wearing a bowtie and a large smile. The photos depicted him with his leg around Derpy, or holding Dinky as a foal, meaning he was more than likely her father and Derpy’s special somepony.

Thunderlane scrunched his brow. If that was Dinky’s father, then why was Derpy a single mother? While having a foal out of wedlock was frowned upon on most of Equestria, it was common enough in Ponyville, and he had not heard about any deaths recently. However, Derpy probably had a good reason to be a single mother, and he had no business prying into her past unless she let him.

A soft moan came from his chest; Thunderlane glanced down to see Derpy rousing herself. He lifted his hoof as she raised her head, looking at him with half-lidded, bloodshot eyes.

“Hi there, sleepyhead,” Thunderlane whispered.

“Wha time issit?” Derpy asked, her speech slurred terribly.

“I don't know. Probably like one or two in the morning.”

“Good.” She laid her head back down, this time closer to his neck. “You're comfy.”

“Uh, thanks, I guess,” Thunderlane said, laying his own head back down.

Within a few seconds, Derpy’s faint snores reached his ears.

Thunderlane began to close his eyes too, but felt her hooves begin to wrap around him. Glancing down as much as he could, he could just make out her hoof curl around his chest. He felt her nuzzle his neck.

“So warm,” she mumbled before snorting again.

As he laid back again, Thunderlane knew he was pinned for the night. As he closed his eyes, a strange sense of contentment washed over him. He wrapped a hoof around Derpy. All his questions could wait until sunup; then and there, a sleepy mare needed him, and nothing was going to move him from his spot.

“Oh, is that where Dinky’s report went? I thought it was strange she got a ‘D’,” Derpy said, smiling the whole time. “She's usually a straight-A student.”

Thunderlane snorted as he walked next to Derpy, carrying a brown bag filled with chocolate chips. It was unsurprising that Rumble would get such a low grade, but he could deal with that later.

“Well, Rumble wasn’t really paying attention when he got the report, so I don’t blame you,” he said.

“I’m just glad it was a mix-up,” Derpy said. “Dinky was crying so hard when she got home that she didn't want to make any muffins with me. She just ran into her room and shut the door.”

Thunderlane had to stop and facehoof at that comment. Of course, Rumble’s lack of attention would have unseen repercussions. There would be a severe decline in his social life when Thunderlane returned.

“I'm so sorry about all of this,” he said as he caught up to Derpy. “Rumble didn’t mean it. He’s just kind of… absent-minded when it comes to school. I know he has some brains in that noggin, but lately he just seems to have stopped trying.”

“Oh, don't worry about it,” Derpy said brightly, smiling at him. “It’s probably just puberty kicking in—I’m sure he’ll come around. Besides, it does Dinky good to cry once in a while. She’s always stressed out from school and homework, along with the entrance exam coming up.”

“Entrance exam?”

“For Princess Celestia’s School for Gifted Unicorns.” Derpy’s beaming smile was like a second sun. “I’m so proud of my little muffin. She’s been wanting to get in for years, and now that she got a special recommendation from Princess Twilight, she thinks she has to wow the judges like the Princess did.”

“Oh, I see,” Thunderlane said, turning to look forward. “I remember waiting for the Wonderbolts tryouts. Spent months practicing, and sat through the scariest half-hour of my life waiting for them to call my name.”

“You tried out for the Wonderbolts?”

“I did, but you can tell how that went.” Thunderlane looked at his hooves.

“What happened?” Derpy pressed.

“I was still sore from practicing the day before, and my wing cramped on the ninety-degree left turn. Smashed through three of the obstacles and one trainer with my momentum, and then had to be rescued by the real Wonderbolts when I started falling.”

“Oh dear!” Derpy lifted a hoof to her mouth. “I'm so sorry, Thunderlane!”

“Eh, don’t be. If anything, it taught me that I wasn’t meant to be a Wonderbolt.”

“That's not true!” She trotted ahead, pressed a hoof to his chest, and stared right at him. “One failed tryout doesn’t mean you can’t be a Wonderbolt. Sometimes accidents happen, and we need to get over them and try again!”

“Easy there, Derpy,” Thunderlane said, backing his head up. “I’ve come to terms with it. It’s not that I physically can’t be one. It’s that I don’t perform well in front of a crowd.”

“Nopony does! That doesn’t mean you’re any less of a flyer than Soarin, or Spitfire, or Fleetfoot—”

“Derpy, calm down,” Thunderlane said as he resumed walking. “It’s fine. Things played out the way they did for a reason. If I passed the exam and became a Wonderbolt, Rumble would have nopony to look after him, and the Weather Team would be short-hoofed.”

“That is a flimsy excuse and you know it,” she said, turning around.

Thunderlane blinked twice before shaking his head. “Look, it’s all in the past, Derpy—seven whole years ago. It’s not like I totally gave up being one, it’s just I’ve accepted what happened, and am happy with where my life has gone since then.”

Derpy just scrunched up her muzzle and pouted at the ground. “I hate it when ponies give up on their dreams,” she muttered. “I always wanted to be a mother, and didn’t give up when I was told any foal of mine might have the same birth defect I have.”

Thunderlane’s eyes shrunk, his jaw clenched shut.

“Still, it’s your life and you live it how you want to, I suppose,” she continued, looking up. “If you don’t think you can be a Wonderbolt, I can’t change your mind.”

“Oh, ha ha ha. My parents used to pull that on me when I was younger,” Thunderlane said. “My dad always said that when I didn’t make the hoofball team.”

“Doesn’t make it any less true,” Derpy insisted. “You never believed you’d make the team and never did when you tried, right?” she asked, turning to him.

Thunderlane ground his teeth together, a sudden jolt of anger welling up in him. He snorted and turned away from her.

“Don’t act like you know anything about me,” he snapped. “We only met twenty minutes ago. I’ve already told you more than I should have.”

A long silence followed his statement as the two of them stood there, each looking in opposite directions.

Thunderlane snorted as he thought about what Derpy had said, each word followed by echoes of his father’s voice. He had tried to join the Wonderbolts and make the hoofball team, regardless of what the others thought. Life had just never worked out in the way he wanted it to, but he had accepted the inevitability and that he should just go with the flow.

“I'm sorry, Thunderlane.”

He looked up, surprised to see genuine sadness in Derpy’s eyes.

“You're right. I don’t know anything about you and I shouldn’t pretend to. It just upsets me to know that somepony else give up on their dreams, mostly because Dinky says the same thing when she thinks she can’t pass her exam.”

Thunderlane’s bitterness evaporated as he faced Derpy, who was staring at the ground again. She frowned, and looked like she was on the verge of tears.

“I don’t want her thinking she’ll never be good enough to be a Gifted Unicorn,” Derpy mumbled. “She’s meant to do special things and doesn’t… doesn’t need anypony filling her head with doubt. Especially herself.”

“Hey, hey,” Thunderlane said, putting a hoof on Derpy's back. “She’ll pass her exam, even if I didn’t pass mine.”

Derpy looked up at him, her bottom lip quivering. “But I don’t want to hear her say what you said. The whole time you spoke, I pictured Dinky saying all of that to me.”

Thunderlane ground his teeth again, this time out of embarrassment. Thinking back, he did sound suspiciously like a defeatist.

“Look, she will pass her exam. My gut says she will blow away the judges, and have them begging for her to enter their school. If she can write a report as good as the one Rumble took by mistake, she can do much more than pass a simple test.”

He smiled as Derpy wiped her eyes, trying not to break down in tears.

“Y-you really think so?” she asked.

“Yes,” Thunderlane answered without hesitation.

Derpy managed a small smile, and Thunderlane felt the pit in his stomach lessen. While she had upset him, he still should not have lashed out at her for voicing her opinion. What was worse, he had made her cry in less than half an hour after meeting her, a new and shameful record. As his conscious bucked him for his pig-headed behavior, he smiled back to Derpy with his most sincere grin.

“D-do you think you can tell her that?” Derpy asked. “She never listens when I say it… but it might help if somepony else says it too.”

“Absolutely,” he said.

Derpy's smile widened even more.

“And you could help us make some muffins. That always cheers us up.”

Thunderlane nodded. “Sure. It’s not like Rumble will be home soon anyway.”

As Derpy beamed at him, he found himself grinning back. Her smile was really cute—almost cute enough to look at all day.

Thunderlane’s eyes snapped open once he realized he had fallen asleep. Instead of soft moonlight, morning sunlight bathed the room. He glanced around the room, noting it was white with very little in it besides the bed and a dresser.

He yawned as he leaned forward, and glanced around. The morning shift was evidently in full swing, meaning he would have to either work later, or take the day off. The latter choice seemed the best option, especially since Derpy also had the day off.


Jumping at the thought of her, Thunderlane looked down, only to find himself alone in the bed. Looking around the room again, he noticed the door was wide open. After untangling himself from the bedsheets, he rolled off the bed and trotted out the door, hoping against hope she had not already left.

As he made his way over to the stairs, he glanced at the wall and paused. With the hallway bathed in light, he could see the stallion was very striking in his appearance. He had a strong jawline leading up to a mane that curled into backward spikes. His piercing blue eyes seemed to stare back at Thunderlane, causing him to gulp. He was a handsome fellow, one he could see Derpy easily falling for.

Shrugging, Thunderlane turned away from the picture and headed downstairs, his thoughts centered around her. “Derpy? You here?” he called out.

“In the kitchen.”

Turning to his left, Thunderlane trotted through the doorway to find a decent-sized kitchen with a round wooden table in the center, exactly like it was when he had first come over to make muffins and talk with Dinky. The checkerboard floor clicked beneath his hooves, and he smiled as he saw Derpy sitting at the table.

“Hey there, sleepyhead,” he said as he sat at one of the chairs. “You're up pretty early.”

“I'm sorry, Thunderlane,” she said quickly. “I shouldn’t have done this to you.”

Thunderlane blinked. “Done what?” he asked.

“Invited you in… kissed you, and Celestia-knows-what-else,” she said, her voice cracking. “You’re a nice stallion, and me taking advantage of you is just… just…”

She placed her head in her hooves.

Thunderlane jumped out of his seat. He rushed over to her, but she was already sobbing by the time he arrived. Without thinking, he pulled her into a hug.

“Derpy, calm down,” he whispered. “Nothing happened last night.”

She only wailed louder as he spoke.

“I’m a terrible p-pony for doing that to you!” she said between sobs. “You were so nice to m-me yesterday, and I treated you like a one-night-stand!”

“You didn’t treat me like anything!” he said back. “All that happened was we went to your room and you passed out!”

“No, I remember kissing you, and then I blacked out!” she cried. “I’m so, so sorry, Thunderlane!”

“Derpy, look at me.”

When she didn't, Thunderlane put one of his hooves under her chin and brought her head up. Her eyes were bright red and swollen with tears, but he stared into them as if nothing was wrong.

“We. Did. Nothing. You didn’t take advantage of me. I just lay there with you. We fell asleep. That’s it.”

He stared at the blubbering mess for a couple more seconds, until deciding that words were not working. Without a second thought, he leaned in and pressed his lips to hers, silencing her sobs momentarily. He kept them there until her sniffling stopped; only then did he pull away and focus on her still-puffy eyes. Instinctively, he reached up and wiped a tear away.

“Do you believe me now?” he asked softly.

She responded by kissing him back a little more forcefully than he did, but it was worth it not to hear her crying anymore. He felt her hooves wrap around him and he responded in kind, pulling her into a tight hug.

When she broke the kiss, she nuzzled into his chest. “I was so worried you would hate me,” she choked out, hugging him tighter.

He placed his chin on top of her head. “It would take far more than that to make me hate you.”

“Yeah, but… that’s what Dinky’s father said too. A week before he left us.”

“The brown stallion?” Thunderlane asked, his ears perking up.

Derpy let out a long sigh before continuing. “Yes. His name was Time Turner: my first crush, and Dinky's father.”

“What happened to him?” he asked cautiously.

“He…” She inhaled deeply before continuing, “he loved to tinker with things. But one day, one of his experiments went horribly wrong, and… there was nothing… n-nothing left but a giant black sc-scorch mark on the f-floor. Dinky was only f-four years old…”

Thunderlane hugged her tighter and pressed his chin down harder. “I just… wow. I am so sorry, Derpy.”

“I swore no stallion would ever replace him,” she said.

Thunderlane felt fresh tears wet his chest.

“I’m not going to replace him, Derpy. No stallion ever will,” he said.

“But you make me feel happy again, and… that was the first time I slept through the whole night since he died.”

Thunderlane ground his teeth and thought hard. If anything was to come of the date yesterday—of the night before—he had to make sure whatever he said came out right. Not just for himself, but for Derpy too. He steeled himself and took a deep breath.

“Derpy, you are a beautiful mare,” he said, quivering slightly as he spoke. “I don’t know what it’s like to lose somepony as special as he was, and I probably never will. I hope I never will. Things in life don’t always go the way we want them to, but there’s a time to fight the wind, and a time to follow it. I’ve let it push me along, and it brought me to you, but you… you’ve fought it, and you found me updraft. Call it fate, destiny, whatever you please, but know that I never want to see you cry, or know you can’t sleep at night because you miss him.

“You are the most amazing pony I’ve ever met, Derpy, and I will do what I can to make you know that. I won’t be the same as him, but I am willing to try filling the void.”

Thunderlane closed his eyes, knowing he had misspoken somewhere there. His line about following and fighting the wind was pretty stupid, likely one of the dumbest things he had ever said.

Just as he chastised himself for his stupidity, he felt Derpy grip him tighter and pulled her head out from under his chin. Bracing himself for whatever she would say, he gulped and looked down at her. She still had tears streaming down her face, but the cute smile he remembered was also there.

“Thank you, Thunderlane,” she whispered before kissing him again.

This time, Thunderlane took charge and pulled her in closer, making sure she knew he would never let go of her. The kiss was long,, and he was sad when it ended, but eventually Derpy stared back at him, still smiling.

“What are we going to do now?” she asked.

“First thing is to dry those,” Thunderlane said as he reached up and flicked away a tear. “After that, I’m sure some fresh muffins would be welcome. I think the Cakes made a special kind today.”

“Will you… walk me there?”

“Why don’t we just slide?” Thunderlane said, mentally bucking himself immediately after saying it.

A small chuckle came from Derpy as she placed a small kiss on his cheek. “I'd like that.”

Author's Note:

Hope you enjoyed it!

Comments ( 13 )

I like this story, the way you've spun the characters, etc. I think you really need to do another story about Derpy and Thunderlane, set in this universe!

That was a cute little story. The Doctor Hooves explanation derailed the mood a bit, but it didn't flat out kill it for me. Thumbs up for a nice job.

That was a good story, had a overall feeling of low key bittersweet feels.

"A science experiment went horribly wrong and they never found his remains," she replied, her voice starting to crack again.


I thought this was a joke.

Rest of the story was cute. I liked it. My like and favorite stay up, but WHY WOULD YOU HAVE DERPY SAY IT LIKE THAT

This was quite cute :twilightsmile:
Bittersweet, but still a lovely read nevertheless.

OH my gosh this was the cutest thing ever:yay:

Well done, Comet. Well done indeed.
What a cute story. It didn't overstay its welcome and you set up the relationship, and made it believable, in a decently short word count.
Good show, old boy.

Edit: moving this back from my Tier 2 faves into primary faves again. You earned it.

i like this story. it was sweet. id like to see more of it in a squeal maybe

That's a trick my parents used to pull on me when I was younger," Thunderland said.

*Thunderlane said.

Anyhoo, this was a nice little read. :twilightsmile: Good characterization all around, cute pairing, and a hint at something a little bigger. Would love to see a sequel, but this one stands on its own as well. Awesome job, Comet!

This is like my story but instead Derpy:derpytongue2: and the Doctor were together but the Doctor dies:fluttercry: and ThunderLane tries to marry Derpy

I am going to try not to cringe at late-90s song lyrics, and try to enjoy this.
Edit: this is a lovely story and I really like it. My single nitpick is the slide line at the end makes no sense in story context.

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