• Published 13th Apr 2014
  • 1,410 Views, 11 Comments

Fallout‽ Equestria: Console User Manual - RevelRomp



Stable Lab Forty-Five R&D gave one unicorn ultimate power over all of reality. Rather than undo the war that wasted Equestria and begin an age of eternal peace and joy, Emmy did what any pony of her Stable would: Have FUN! Then things got weird.

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Chapter 4 - But You're Still Hungry

Author's Note:

I did not have my usual editor / pre-reader for this. Minimal editing was done.

Emmy’s tummy growled. She took a glance at the pipbuck to confirm what her body was telling her. She was hungry. Or at least, she was close to hungry. And she already knew that saving and reloading at the most recent lunch- which was how many days back now? It was before the before the flaming [timbermegawolves] right? And while she did technically eat recently, hopping into a memory orb for a filling meal didn’t help with the body coming back out of that memory at all…- wouldn’t do anything to sate her hunger now. So she fiddled with her pipbuck, stroking the dial and punching the confirm key for each character.

> player.placeatme “Sugar Applebombs”
A white and black and red all over mare flopped onto Emmy’s back, pancaking the too-tiny-makeshift-fauxalicorn against the floor. The mare withdrew her maw from a now-empty box of Sugar Apple Bombs cereal, wiped the powdery sugar from her maw with a hoof, and hid the box behind her stable-barding clad rear. The mare slipped off of the slowly-rising Emmy’s back and started backing slowly towards the exit. She gave a nervous chuckle.
“Err… Hello? I take it you’re friends with that blue alicorn?” The mare forced a grin. “I was only kidding about the clinic, but I-”
Emmy cut her off. “Is there any more of that cereal left?”
“No, but I I know wher-”
“Too hungry. Don’t care.”
Emmy scooped Applebombs up in a cocoon of starry magic and tossed her out the window. There was a rubbery thump, the blast of a shotgun discharging, and the angry screeching hiss of a feline. Emmy raked the Pipbuck’s face-buttons again. She found by hitting confirm a second time without moving the dial, her previous entry popped up again. She rapped on the cancel button a few times and changed the entry. She knew now that she definitely wanted something sweet.

> player.placeatme “Candy Apple”
A dripping wet eggshell-white pegasus filly splashed against Emmy’s side, sending her tumbling. The filly’s eyes spun. Emmy brushed the child off of her, and the filly’s vibrant apple-green bikini instantly transformed into a chocolate-covered-apple green-and-brown speckle.
The filly shook the spinning birds from her vision. “Huh…? This doesn’t look like the Cloudbank Bounce Swimminghole.” She shook her head again, harder. “Did I miss the water again?`”
Emmy poked at the filly. “Hey, that thing you’re wearing wouldn’t happen to be edible would it?” She gave a hopeful smile. She’d never have eaten Cheeky Cheep edible swimwear at home, but that was a matter of sexual tension. This was HUNGER.
Candy Apple’s eyes grew wide with alarm. “N-no! Don’t eat me! Help! Cannibal!”
Not wanting to deal with the shrieking and shouting, she wrapped Candy Apple in a capsule of stary magic, and punted her out the window.

“Sonnova-cinnabun, I should have asked if she could cook!” Emmy’s stomache rumbled.

GLOING. The filly spiraled along inside the magical bubble, flopped onto the back of a white and black and red all over mare, bounced up into the air, and was reflexively kicked by the mare through at five different streetside food-vendor stands and one toymaker’s tent, obliterating their offerings in a spectacle of flying filly, veggies, and arcane superball. The mare took a look at the carnage she had unintentionally instigated, and sprinted off in a hurry to be as far away from the scene as possible. A hippogriff chick circled omniously in the skies over the chaos.

> player.placeatme “Blueberry-Lemon Cake with Lemon Cream Cheese Frosting”
A Blueberry-Lemon Cake appeared right in front of Emmy!
A pair of firm cream-yellow thighs slammed into the cake, splattering it messily into every possible surface, nook, and cranny except for Emmy. Emmy stared at ‘Frosting’ bemused.

The canine owner of the thighs fidgeted and twitched as it shook itself clean of the clingy confectionary. She gave a low, exhausted growl roughly in Emmy’s direction. Half-closed, twitchy pale blue eyes and an erratically flailing tail suggested the creature wasn’t in the most pleasant of mood or mind. Assuming it had a mind.

“I’m gonna assume no,” she eyeballed the tattered and stained labcoat the creature was wearing, “but would you happen to be some kind of baker, chef, mutated food wizard, or have a magical bag of infinite food or something? I’m starving here.” Now that she thought of it, she was pretty sure she had in fact eaten something that day. But for the life of her she couldn’t remember what. Either way, she waited for an answer.

She got another growl for her patience. The hound shook the pink and blue party hat free from around her eyes, snatched it in her teeth, crushed it, and spat it to the ground. A small amount of spittle landed on glittery yellow streamers tying Frosting’s arms at the rest. The growling intensified.
“First gun pony, then toy pony, ghost pony, and laser death robot pony. What does pony want from dog!? Dog did nothing to pony! Dog go home, or dog smash robot pony! Dog smash all ponies, no more smashing food!” Claws extended with a series of audibly sharp SNKTS and the hound lashed out at Emmy. Emmy took an almost casual step back. The hound toppled face forward into more ruined cake and let out a pitiful whine.
Emmy shoved a confetti popper into the hound’s mouth, and magically slingshotted the beast out the window. Emmy dove out the door, and snuck over to the next available empty room.

A griffon chick dove for the shattered window only to be met fullbody by a thick wall of Hellhound meat and fur. The two tumbled towards the ground in a spiral, and landed on Candy Apple’s magical cell. Blorf! The explosion of the magical barrier dumped all three in a pile of cake, fur, feathers, arcane goo, confused filly, and a single pristine cherry on top of it all. Ponies rushed from nearby buildings to check out the ruckus. Some stormed the building with the busted windows, armed and armored. And just when the pile of puzzled individuals were getting their bearings- Boomf! Dozens of colorful bits of paper fluttered in the air on the open street.

> player.placeatme “Lollipop”
Yet another filly winked into existence and promptly plopped right onto agaist Emmy’s horn. The spire’s base rested between the girl’s pink thighs, and the point lay just past her neck. Her forelegs wrapped the horn in a limp caress. After a moment, she rocket off of Emmy’s head and grabbed hold of ceiling lamp. She swung slowly and rhythmically curled against the warm lamp. Light poured through her body as if she were made of jelly.
Emmy’s stomach growled again. She looked up at the translucent pony.
“Do you have- or are you made out of- anything I can eat?”
“Like, sure. I always keep a couple mints in my tail. But I don’t think I’m made of anything tasty… I’ve never tasted myself.”
A pair of triple-mint cubes fell into the frog of Emmy’s outreached hoof.

“Thank you.” She trilled a note of the 'ank’ in 'thank’, “And for that, I won’t toss you out the window.”

> player.placeatme “Food”

Another filly flopped onto Emmy’s back, then tumbled into the heap of office supplies.

“Too hungry. Don’t care.”
And instead of doing anything rational, she collected this new filly on a starry magic dinner plate, charged down both of the doors she had closed before, tossed the Food out the window on the plate, and dove out the window to fly after it into the horizons. The window burst into flames. Orange and purple, flickering, glitchy licks of flame. And nothing else burned.

Lollipop eased the grip of her fore-hooves to slip down the lamp’s hangings. She leaned back, upside down and looked around the room to see where the other pony had gone. A pair of ponies barged into the gap where a door had been, both aiming well-worn energy weapons at the trouble maker. Of the pair, the mare opened her mouth to speak, but was waved down by the stallion.
“You’re coming with us, thief.”
“Like, ew. I’m totally not a thief!” She flicked her tail at the buck, but sprung from the lamp to the ground. Her wings brought her to the ground with a soft flutter. She obediently followed the mare to places unknown. It’s not like she had anything better to do. Anything is more interesting than history classes on repeat.

Comments ( 3 )

seriously, what the hell is going on here!?

6422125 Silliness. Same as the first chapter.

Uuuuhhhhhh....what...the...heck...is going on?

Love it! :pinkiecrazy:

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