Continuity Errors
Generic the pony, or Gen for short, woke up on the floor of the Everfree Forest. As one might imagine, he was confused as to where he was. He’d never been to the forest before and had no memory of how he got there. In fact, he had no memory of who he was.
He walked to a reflective pool of water to look upon himself. His red and black mane was a matted mess, along with his red fur. The horn on his head and the wings on his back told him he was an alicorn. Two dark figures moved in behind him as he examined himself in the pool. When he saw their reflections, he turned and shot powerful magic that vaporized them both.
All that was left was their robes and a note. Gen levitated the note to eye level and stared at the cryptic message. I want Generic the alicorn dead for my own poorly thought out reasons. Sincerely, Antagonist.
Generic slipped into one of the robes and tried to figure out where his attackers had come from. There was a path that cut through the undergrowth and he followed it carefully. His head began to throb with faint visions of his tragic past. He shook them off, and continued on.
After several hours, he found his way to a small town known as Ponyville. The second he set hoof into Ponyville, a bouncy, pink maned, earth pony mare with balloon cutie marks, blue eyes, a ridiculous smile, and breath that smelled of sweets greeted him.
“New pony!” the pink pony said as she did every time a red and black pony wandered out of the Everfree Forest. She then threw confetti and began to run around frantically to set up a party. Generic ignored her and continued on into the town.
The colorful talking equines of the town parted for the robed alicorn to walk through the streets unobstructed. The town’s unimportant mail-mare made an appearance, breaking several things on accident and feeling the need to state, “She just didn’t know what went wrong.”
Suddenly, bat ponies. Generic threw off his robe and valiantly defended the town with his extremely over powered and mysterious magic. He blasted the abominations, causing them to turn to ash. As it rained ash down to the streets, Princess Celestia showed up.
“Generic, I’ve looked everywhere for you!” Celestia said frantically.
Generic had visions of his mother flash before his eyes. It was the alicorn that stood before him. He went to embrace his long, lost mother, but the alicorn burst into green flames. Standing there was now the changeling queen, Chrysalis.
“Gasp!” Generic gasped. “You’re not my mother!”
“Or am I?!” Chrysalis asked with an evil grin.
“Are you?!” Generic shouted back.
“No!” Chrysalis replied with a laugh.
They then fought a generic fight that ended with a clop scene. Full of Generic’s hot love, Chrysalis left Ponyville. The citizens rejoiced, but Generic had no time for celebrations.
Next, he encountered a white unicorn mare with a purple mane and three diamonds for a cutie mark. “Darling, I’m the town seamstress, Rarity,” the unicorn said for no apparent reason.
“Did you make this robe?” Generic asked, indicating to the robe he’d gotten in the Everfree Forest.
“Yes, Darling, I did, Darling, how did you get it, Darling?” Rarity asked, batting massive eyelashes.
“There were two ponies that attacked me in the Everfree Forest,” Generic replied. “I killed them and took this robe.”
Rarity inspected the material more closely and remembered the ponies she’d tailored the robes for. “I’ll tell you if you do something for me first, Darling,” Rarity replied seductively. Clop ensued.
With information the narrator is unable to divulge, Generic left Rarity’s Boutique in search of a yellow pegasus mare with a pink mane and butterfly cutie marks named Fluttershy. She was found at her cottage just outside the town.
The slightest sound of Generic’s hoof on the gravel was enough to give Fluttershy three heart attacks. She lay cowering on the ground, crying uncontrollably. Generic lifted her up with his magic and cast a nerve easing spell he hadn’t known prior to casting it.
With the plot able to continue, Generic asked, “Are you Fluttershy?”
“Y-y-y-yes, I am,” Fluttershy stuttered. “A-a-a-are y-y-y-you Ge-Ge-Generic?”
“Yes.”
“THEN DIE!” Fluttershy shouted, turning into a bat pony. Generic dodged the swooping attack of the creature and flew into the air as well. There were several poorly described aviation maneuvers performed by the two airborne ponies. After a few paragraphs, Generic won just by being awesome.
For no discernable reason, Generic went to Sweet Apple Acres. An orange earth pony mare with a cow-pony hat and three apple cutie mark trotted up to him.
“Howdy, Ah’m AppleJack! You must be new ta’ these here parts!” the earth pony replied with an overly southern accent.
The generic alicorn lowered his head and vaporized the earth pony. The changeling that had been impersonating the earth pony exploded. Generic had known it wasn’t the real AJ using prior knowledge that was not given to either him or the reader. The changeling dropped an odd key that would later hold no real purpose in the story.
Generic knew this and picked it up regardless. The real AppleJack ran out of the apple fields, covered in sweat and being followed by a blue pegasus mare with a rainbow mane.
“It’s implied we’re lesbians!” the rainbow maned pegasus shouted.
“Silence!” Generic shouted. “Where is Twilight Sparkle?” At no point had he been looking for Twilight, or even known of the name. A clever plot device, such as a memory or a flashback, appeared.
“I’m right here!”
Generic turned to see the purple alicorn mare standing behind him. “You killed my parents!” Generic shouted.
“No!” Twilight objected. “Your parents killed you!”
All jaws within a fifty mile radius dropped at this statement.
“You’re really an angsty, teenage brony from the human world! Your parents killed you and you woke up as an alicorn in the Everfree forest so you could fulfill all of your repressed sexual desires!”
“I suddenly remember everything!” Generic shouted, remembering his name was Damien or some other typical name.
“Orgy?" Twilight asked, lifting an eyebrow.
“Orgy.” Generic responded. He then satisfied all mane six despite Fluttershy being dead. Celestia, Luna, Cadence and every single female background pony joined in. The ending didn’t make sense, but it didn’t have to. This was just another generic story.
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Hooray for generic-ness!
I know it's complete, but I faved anyway so you'd know I love it.
I loved this
3765176
Thank you very much, and thanks for the follow!
This has to be the best story I have ever read. The characters have such a depth to them, such unique charm, that anyone who reads this is likely to know that this is one of the greatest works that this site will ever have to offer. Your clever narrative, witty dialogue, and obvious use of sex as a metaphor for something deeper is an inspiration to us all. I could go on, but I simply must say bravo good sir.
Bravo.
Alright then.
3765201
Because your avatar is so heartrendingly sad, I'll ignore the sarcasm.
3765212
Don't misunderstand my comment, I freaking loved the story. I was just trying to make a joke, albeit my track record for joking seems to be bad recently.
3765240
Oh, I got it was a joke, don't worry, and I'm glad you enjoyed it
3765112
Hooray for confusion!
This is truly one of the greatest stories of our times. 5 stars, A+, 4 stars. (No seriously it was hilarious
)
GHAHAHAHHAHAH I'm laughing wayyyy to hard
I'm guilty of the waking up in the Everfree with no memory, but otherwise...
This is edjutaining!!!
That's entertaining and educative in one word
Noticed an error. Didn't you know all red and black alicorns were male?
Beautiful. Pure genius
You have gained respect, good sir.
Assassins in skyrim = this
Rarity soo OC not enough darling, darling darling
derpicdn.net/img/view/2013/9/8/422461__safe_solo_rarity_faic_hoers_artist-colon-furseiseki_one+word_darling.png
Darling. Better next darling time darling.
3765212 Have you seen the reviews for Full Life Consequences? It's that, there isn't any real sarcasm. Like your story, it's supposed to be poking fun at stuff. Or the writer is mentally disabled and has Anti-Descriptionmentarianism.
3765499
Whoops...
Perfectly sums up the mistakes me, as well as likely many other fan fiction writers, have made. Have a big like.
The Fluttershy bit still made me sad though. :(
I took a look at the cover and the first thing that popped in my head was "Is that Graze..."
After a quick google search: Yes. That is Razor Graze A.K.A. Killjoy :P
This is a very generic comment to indicate that this generic reader has had a very generically good time reading this generic story.
Generically.
3765879
My appreciation of this comment...was generic.
I'd love to say that this story is as brilliant as it is hilarious, the mark of a good satire. But saying so wouldn't be generic enough, darling.
I will say that I was sad to see something missing. For a story so purposely reveling in cliche, I was disappointed when the first sentence of the story was not, "It was a beautiful day in Equestria." Also, needs more over-use of "Celestia's Sun" and "Luna's Moon".
3765925
I will keep this in mind when writing the sequel: An Even More Generic Story
I'm too new to get most of the references, but I see where some of the cliche's come in.
3765933 it had better be "An Even More Generic Story: Electric Boogaloo."
Seriously though this is pretty much the plot of every Mary Sue Alicorn story ever- as such, it's hilarious. Liked and Faved, good sir.
3765725
not the only one buddy...
(Insert generic comment here)
Thank you. Thank you for writing a story based on all the overused fanfic tropes. This made me laugh so hard.
my lungs.... they hurt from laughter......
And at the very end, due to me listening to this song, I burst out laughing 'cause on the last word, (I must have misheard it) it said 'the thought of carrying cloppers'
3766386
(Insert generic response criticizing your opinion)
It's so generic it's good. I don't even know how that works. Also, poor 10 other male characters who don't get a chance at any of that action.
Best story ever.
~Skeeter The Lurker
3765499
Think we can get away with tossing it in the Library?
~Skeeter The Lurker
3766902
I'd love to see it try
3766909
Considering the point of the story itself, I don't see why not.
Still...
~Skeeter The Lurker
3766913
I don't know, he did make an error. ALL red and black alicorns are male, after all.
I'm willing to forgive it.
3766939
I'll suggest it to Arcum. Just for shits and giggles.
~Skeeter The Lurker
3766944
3766939
An executive decision was made to change Gen into a stallion. It is now much funnier.
Elesdo, blah blah blah, bitch moan, commnt ends.
So... Gen is best pony right?
Generic Complaint about story
INTENSE RAGE STATEMENT
Hate Statement
Author should suicide statement
statement of thumbs down
no attempt at explaining why.
(in actuality, you got a green thumb)
static2.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20130912234224/fossilfighters/images/e/e2/How-about-no-bear.jpg
It's not bad. It's kinda generic though
... I have no idea how to breathe.
That was all my brain could come up with to say after reading this.
Well, "let's satirise some MLP fanfic tropes" has been done plenty of times, but this is a pretty amusing take on the idea. And it made me laugh, which is the main thing, so it gets a like.
Ok no joke. The only thing that pissed me off was "AppleJack." That fucking J pisses me off. Like you don't capitolize shy in fluttershy. So why the fuck do you fell the need to capitolize the J. Did you just like use the cereal box as a reference.
3766234 I knew it when I saw it as well.
Oh damn, the cover art. That takes me to a day waaaaaaaay back when a very good friend of mine used to do writing on fimfiction. The irony of this I see was that he was an expert on manipulating many OC characters in various ways to make them stand out. Definitely, I have to consider those to be the golden days on fimfiction.
Well done and well played for creating a hilarious writing
The Genericness was used so effectively that you should be promoted to a General
tinyurl.com/mbho6go
(Added to several other groups as well.)