The Debate
Torgue grunted with effort as he climbed the castle wall. Usually climbing a wall wasn't too difficult but since the wall was made of solid crystal, he had to stab holes in the wall with his fingers to make grip holes. Shining Armor had originally protested but with the assurance from the crystalsmith that it could be easily fixed, Torgue was allowed to climb the castle wall.
After everything had been sorted out and explained, everyone in the dining hall had a nice time chatting. Most of the chatting consisted of Mister Torgue telling stories about his badass adventures, but it was also dotted with input from more curious ponies that were interested in learning about alien life (Luna and Twilight). About half way into the little social gathering, Celestia announced that there was still business in Canterlot that she must attend to and left. Luna had started to follow her with a reluctant look on her face but Celestia told her to stay and 'entertain the alien ambassador' as 'it is a royal duty to entertain foreign guests'. Luna happily agreed and returned to the rest of the group. Sadly for Luna, as soon as she returned, Torgue announced that he needed to work out, lest he start to become 'a flabby badass that isn't nearly as badass as a muscly one', and asked if he could climb the castle wall for a warm up.
Despite the difficulty of digging his own handholds in the wall, Torgue still found the wall rather easy compared to his usual afternoon wall climb. The wall he had at home was rigged with explosives, obviously, and had falling rocks to hinder his progress. Sadly, there were no such obstacles on this crystal wall and, after many more handholds had been dug, Torgue reached the balcony. Torgue pulled himself up onto the balcony, stood on the railing and gazed down at the ponies who had watched him climb. As he gazed, he noticed something that interested him.
"HEY, IS THAT FOUNTAIN DEEP?!" Torgue shouted down at the spectators.
The one closest to the fountain, Twilight, quickly peered inside before craning her neck back to look at Torgue once more, "Not really! It's maybe four or five hooves deep! Why?"
Torgue didn't answer her question. Instead, he hopped off the railing and took several steps back onto the balcony. Thinking he was heading into the castle, everypony who had watched Torgue climb began to head back inside. Much to their surprise though, a sudden shout of 'SWAN DIVE' came from above, followed by a large mass of muscle launching over the railing. Torgue sailed through the air for a few seconds before hurtling downward in a majestic dive. Before any of the ponies could react, Torgue hit the water and water splashed out of the fountain. Unfortunately it seemed Twilight's measurements were correct as, rather than Torgue coming back up from the water, his legs remained sticking out of the water. The first to overcome the shock, Luna and Applejack, rushed over to the edge of the fountain and pulled Torgue out of the fountain and laid him down on the ground.
"Are you alright?" came from several of the ponies there.
Torgue stared at them blankly through his now slightly cracked sunglasses. Eventually, Torgue cracked his neck and let out a short bark of laughter.
"WOOOOO! THAT WAS F*BLEEP*ING AWESOME!" Torgue sat up and made a strange gesture with his hands that resembled horns, "Well, that'll cover working out for now! Now what?!"
"Wow, even I need a break after a crash like that. This guy is tough." Rainbow Dash commented.
"Dern tootin'. That should've broken his neck, but that feller just shrugged it off." Applejack agreed, "Bet he'd make one heck of an applebucker."
"Ahem," Luna coughed, giving her the attention of those who were present, "If it suits thee, Mr. Torgue, I would like to finish our challenge from earlier."
"The what?! ...Oh! That yelling thing! F*BLEEP* yes! Bring it on, Princess! CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!" Torgue stood and gave Luna a cheeky grin.
"Wonderful! We should move this somewhere more appropriate, though. Shouting in the courtyard does not fit the size of this event!" Luna announced dramatically.
"Hey, I think the stadium from the Equestria games is still set up. How about you... I don't know what to call it, but do whatever this is over there?" Cadance asked in an amused tone.
"Perfect! Onward, to the stadium!" Luna pointed in a direction before marching off.
______________________________________________________________________________________
Luna and Torgue stood face to face on the field in the stadium. Everyone else sat in the bleachers, waiting for the strange event to begin. At some point, Spike had come from wherever he had been and Twilight explained to him everything he missed. Pinkie Pie, as usual, broke physics and somehow removed a giant foam finger from her mane and waved it around enthusiastically in support of both Torgue and Luna.
"Well," Cadance called to the competitors, "I suppose if everyone is ready, we can begin. Ready? Set. Shout!"
An awkward silence filled the air as a lack of shouting ensued. Everyone in the stands exchanged questioning glances. Eventually Torgue raised his hand like a child asking a question.
"Um... yes, Torgue?" Cadance questioned.
"What do we shout about?" Torgue asked.
"Yes, this confuses me as well. We did not think this through." Luna scratched her neck with her hoof.
"Just... Uh... Shout anything I guess. Isn't it the goal to see who's louder? Just shout whatever comes to mind. Keep going until someone concedes." Cadance suggested.
"Awesome! I guess I'll start! WHALE SQUIDS ARE AMAZING!" Torgue shouted.
"Hah, thy form is weak. THE MOON IS BEAUTIFUL!" Luna returned.
"HYPERION IS A BUNCH OF P*BEEP*IES!"
"CAKE IS DELICIOUS!"
"I AGREE! WE SHOULD HAVE SOME AFTER THIS!"
"AGREED"
One hour later
"MY PECS ARE HUGE!"
"MY MANE IS LUXURIOUS!""
"YOU ARE REALLY PRETTY!"
"I-i-" Luna choked, her face suddenly turning red, "Not fair..."
For the second time that day, Torgue caused several jaws to drop. Torgue grinned, completely unabashed by his comment. Luna, however, was suddenly sheepish and blushing.
"Does this mean I win?" Torgue asked, to which Luna simply nodded, "Wooo! SQUIBLYMEEDLYMEEDLYMEEDLYMOOOOWWWWWWWWWW! VICTORY! You put up a good match, Princess. You are definitely a certified badass! Now, let's go get that cake!"
"Y-yes. Let's... I must say. Your comment really got me. It was a clever way to win." Luna fumbled.
"Really? I didn't even think about it." Torgue shrugged and began to walk towards everyone who was watching, "Come on. DON'T KEEP THE CAKE WAITING!"
Luna nodded and followed, though she stumbled awkwardly as she started. Luna stopped and shook her head to clear it. Torgue's comment had been really unexpected and really surprised her. She decided to ignore it though. She knew interspecies relations wouldn't work and frankly, Torgue was not her type. With her mind cleared, Luna began to follow Torgue at a more even pace.
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THAT WAS F*CKING AWESOME!!!
I SHIP LUNA WITH TORGUE!!! ALSO TORGUE SHOULD MEET ROID RAGE!!!
No TorgueXLuna?
Wicked guitar solo by Mr.Tourge.......
F*#KING AWESOME!!!!
4583718 YES. THAT IS CORRECT
Who the devilled fuck is JHaller?
SHIP IT WITH FEDEX, SHIP IT!!!
4583917 The 'THE' was sort of a joke, but he's the guy who does the Top 10s for the months. Some Youtube thing. Working on a little project with him.
They're really wanting this shipping to happen, This can't be good- Oh wait, is that the Maliwan HQ? It would sure be a shame if we distracted Mister Torgue with this and ruined any relationship between the two, wouldn't it?
I can beat 'em both in that contest. LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUD NOISES!
Obviously, we now need to turn Mister Torgue into a pony, so that we can ship MoonSplosion.
(Hey, if you can think of a better name for that ship, feel free to share.)
Luna and Torgue? Nah it would be too much of a power imbalance. You'd have to at least add Celestia to drape in his other arm.
Lol, I think it's too late for denying that ship but still, awesome chapter.
TORGUE HAS NOW JOINED THE DEBATE CLUB MOTHER FUCKERS!
4584626 How about LunarBomb? Or MoonBoom? WoonaKablooie?
THIS IS AMUSING! WRITE MORE CHAPTERS!
Wow. After four words written in bold print, we have enough ships to fill a marina.
4583940 Still don't know who he is or why my not knowing of whom he is comment got downvoted.
4587360 I'm not really sure either, but not knowing one of the 'horse famous' bronies is perfectly normal. I didn't know who DustyKat was until about 4 days ago.
4588368 I do not actively partake in the brony fandom, never have and never will. Hell I only know of Fimfictions existence because a friend linked me to a clopfic on here. Even then it took three months for me to make an account.
4588465 understandable.
4588474 Forgot to capitalise your U in Understanding. That is all.
TorguexLuna: this ship sails itself.
Anyways, watch this story actually turn into something partially more serious when it turns out that there's a Vault somewhere in Equestria.
4589377 Shhhh, spoilers man. Not gonna be a surprise anymore
4589530 Since the point of this is still comedy, it can't be completely serious. That means I can't predict what's going to happen as accurately even if I am right.
4589897 Bah, I'm just messing with ya. If anything else related to Borderlands ends up on Equus, it'll probably be Krieg. Just Krieg. I'd love to come up with stuff for Krieg and Torgue to do together in Equus. Discord would approve of the chaos that would ensue
As much as I would have loved to see a TorguexLuna ship, it's probably for the best. If they had managed to have a kid, just imagine what would have become of everyone's eardrums whenever it had a tantrum.
TOGUE IS RIGHT,LUNA IS PRETTIEST PONY!
Update is taking a teeny bit longer than expected. It's a long one though, so look forward to it.
4591080
With those two all I can think is:
Torgue: EXPLOSIONS!
Kriege: Nipple Salad! *chases down Blueblood* I'll play jacks with your teeth and wear your face as a codpiece!!
Also, not shipping Torgue with Luna
https://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=https%3A%2F%2Fs-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com%2F564x%2Fc8%2Fb5%2F8d%2Fc8b58d5ccae33197bb036d42c4bbf632.jpg&imgrefurl=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.pinterest.com%2Fpin%2F257057091202066579%2F&docid=sv6eBEJmdggZlM&tbnid=Q31kfWPrknLXmM%3A&w=530&h=397&hl=en-us&client=safari&bih=671&biw=1024&ved=0ahUKEwjU9-XWxKTOAhUEyT4KHUX7DXgQMwg3KBEwEQ&iact=mrc&uact=8