I just don't know what went right...

by DerpyDitzyDerpyDo

Part Three, Chapter Five: Gathering Intel

Name: Dinky Doo

Age: 10

Birthday: 142 days from now. Too distant to be of any use, at present, but worth diarising.

Occupation: Elementary School Student

Place of residence: Equestria, Ponyville, 10 Stirrup Street.

Breed: Unicorn, mixed parentage.

Bloodlines: Dinky belongs to the D. Doo naming scheme, a relatively common lineage among pegasi probably traceable back to Dastardly Doo, one of Cloudsdale's Founding Fathers.

Latent Magical Ability: Weak but with potential for specialization. Still mastering basic telekinetic manipulation.

Cutie Mark: None.

Talents: Detecting lies, interested in magic but with no natural ability for it, idolizes Wonderbolts but this is common in many foals. Interrogation?

Notes on personality (Positive Traits): Thoughtful, very mature for her age, strong moral compass, compassionate, quick to forgive, well read, intelligent, vocal, passionate.

Notes on personality (Negative Traits): Defensive, confrontational, distrustful, impatient, hypersensitive, aggressive (verbally not physically), irritable, lonely. Restlessness may be genetic, many foals with pegasi parents born without wings feel a yearning to fly but are unable to. This can produce rebellious and fidgety behaviour patterns prior to reaching maturity.

Favourite food: Blueberry Muffins.

Desired items: Madame Magnificorum's Magical Handbook: Tips and Tricks for Beginners Part 2 (Book, currently unavailable at Golden Oaks Library), Flareblitz's Junior Wizard's Hat (Celebrity merchandise, mentioned by Dinky only briefly), Wonderbolt Memorabilia (Preferably signed.)

Warning: Bribery inadvisable. Dinky has a firm ethical backbone and is deeply suspicious of gifts offered without due cause.

Sore points: Teasing about Mother. Absent Father. Friendlessness. Avoid these topics in conversation.

I cleared my throat, "Hey, Dinkie? If you had a genie that could grant you three wishes what would you wish for?" I asked.

Dinky glanced at me over her shoulder and shrugged, "Billion more wishes," she said, sounding deeply indifferent.

We were walking together across the town square, the clock tower showing the time to be nearly five in the evening. We had enjoyed a milkshake after what had been a lengthy but productive session of myself teaching the young filly magic, gently slipping personal questions into the lessons to glean what information I could. Still another hour of youthful appearance left. Plenty of time for a few more questions before I return to the throne.

"If you weren't able to wish for more wishes then what would you wish for?" I tried, cautiously. Dinky tended to pounce on me if I asked questions that were too personal so I had had to adopt a more subtle approach.

"Then I'd wish that I could wish for more wishes with the first wish and then wish for more wishes with the second wish," she replied curtly.

I swallowed my frustrations, "Yeah... but if you weren't allowed to do that kind of thing..."

"Wish for more genies then. There's gotta be a way to get more wishes. Maybe wish for the ability to control minds and then mind control the genie into giving you more wishes. Hmmm..." Dinky pondered the puzzle as she walked.

I added 'Good problem solving skills' to my mental list of her positive personality traits and added 'Philosopher' and 'Detective' to my list of possible future Dinky Doo Cutie Marks. If I could help her get her Cutie Mark then I'd be in her good-books permanently. But only if I could do it as Princess Celestia and not as Sunny, the friendly transfer student who would permanently vanish by this evening.

"Okay, so you get yourself a billion wishes. What would you spend your first wish on?" I asked, trotting to catch up to her. She was a few inches taller than I had been at her age, which means that she's taller than me now.

"I want my mom to have more free time. I mean I know she loves her job so I wouldn't want her to stop working entirely. Just not such long hours, I guess," Dinky trailed off. A relationship with me would cut even deeper into Ditzy's free time. This could be harder on Dinky than I had previously thought.

I added 'selfless' to the personality traits list and then contemplated the implications of her answer. She didn't wish for more friends. Did that mean she'd rather earn her friends the hard way or that she's simply unwilling to open up to me about her loneliness? I don't for a second believe that her friendless school life is of no concern to her. She got very annoyed with me when I asked her if she had any other friends. Would I earn her affections or her scorn if I managed to get her some new friends? How would I even go about doing that?

"Here we are, Sunny," said Dinky, coming to an abrupt halt in front of Ditzy's cottage, "This is my house. Do you wanna come in for a bit?"

I glanced nervously at the clock tower, not entirely necessary as I already knew the exact time. I still had some time to spare. As long as I excused myself in a hurry.

"Yeah, that would be snazzy-doodle, dawg," Dinky laughed at my reply. Luna's urban youth research, although hopelessly inaccurate, continued to provide me with some useful jokes to earn the young filly's favour.

"Okay but you gotta promise me one thing: If my Mom is back then you absolutely can't laugh at her. Not even a giggle. If you laugh I will kick you so hard in the shins you won't even know what happened," growled Dinky. She could be very intimidating when she needed to be.

Why was she so paranoid about this? Why did the bullies insults cut her so deeply? Had she and her mother switched roles in some way, leading her to be over protective? Surely not. Ditzy was not an incompetent mother and they hadn't seemed to have that kind of child-becomes-parent dynamic when I had spent time with the two of them. Then what? Was she so overprotective of her mother because her father had... abandoned them?

"Cross my heart and hope to die," I'd never dream of laughing at her. At either of them. Dinky narrowed her eyes and glared at me for a solid few seconds. Then, finally she acquiesced and opened the front door. I followed her inside.

I missed this place. Even though I have only been inside it once the cottage had found a warm place in my heart. Ditzy was in the kitchen, trying and failing to peel an apple. Her previous three attempts were lying strewn across the plate in various stages of ruin.

"Welcome back! I was... oh..." she dropped her peeler the moment she laid eyes on me. For a moment my heart sunk. Surely she couldn't have recognised me... "Oh my goodness! Dinky, did you bring a friend home with you? Wow! It's been so long!" Ditzy was wagging her tail jovially.

It seems that her daughter's friendlessness had not past her by unnoticed. She looked relieved to see that Dinky had finally brought somepony home to play. A shame that I wouldn't be staying long. Truly a shame.

"It hasn't been that long!" huffed Dinky, glancing angrily at me to make sure I wasn't so much as smirking about her mother's strabismus.

"A pleasure to meet you Miss Doo," I said, sweetly.

Ditzy leapt forward and swept me up in her arms, "Welcome to our home! Are you a friend of Dinky's?" her excitement was palpable.

"Mom! Don't embarrass me, okay?" groaned Dinky as I reluctantly attempted to free myself from Ditzy's embrace.

Suddenly, and without warning, Ditzy's smile faded. She leaned closer to me. Sniffing my mane. I felt pins and needles run down my neck as her gaze met mine. How could this be possible? How could she possibly have...? How did... how does she...? It can't be that she...

She knows.

Author's Note:

Sorry I took so long to update. I'll post another chapter tomorow, promise.

Meanwhile, another cliffhanger. Dum dum duuuuum.

Comments

[Son of Sun]

Her eyes are wonky because they see everything

[Dragonblade722]

A mother always knows.
You have muffins don't you Sunny.

[Whiskey Drops]

.........Ya can't fool Ditzy! O:

[Daedalus Aegle]

Yay, update!

Wow, Tia. You'd better come up with something good to make it up to Dinky for becoming her best friend as Sunny and then disappearing with no trace. Otherwise you will have earned the undying enmity of the entire Doo clan, and nopony has ever survived that.

[DGGames]

Oh god.... Her eyes are wonky.... That makes all her other senses..... Amazing

[Lucky424]

Heh... Ditzy does indeed know.

Time for an interesting explanation.

[Seether00]

Dun dun dun!

[Misdirection01]

Trainwreck incoming.

[bahatumay]

Dastardly Doo…
Is there a Muttley Doo, too? As in "Muttley, do something!"?

[vren55]

Oh crap.

Either that or we just got

[DreadedCandiru2]

Great. Super. Antagonize a parent. That'll work out well for all concerned.

[RanmaChaos]

Great

[Princess Cadence]

You see, Ditzy's eyes let her see beyond the void between realms, so she knows...that you have muffins in your saddlebag.
[youtube=ZRFecBw1DaQ]

[Bowow]

Whoo hoo!! I love how you played out this scene! Well with centuries of experience of course Celestia would know how to glean somepony's personality by just conversing with them.

Aaaaaand she's doomed.

[Princess Cadence]

3931286
static4.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20130524002949/sasukepedia/images/c/cc/Ultimate_Cliffhanger_ANW4.jpg

[fferror]

peal an apple.

"peel"

[Gyro Pony]

Silly Cely!!
You never use a kid to get to the parent.
Or even manipulate a child to get to know said child better.

Expect over 9000 junk mailouts in your Royal Quarters, lest you produce an extraordinary reason for becoming a fake-friend of Dinky Doo.

[Gyro Pony]

3934089
Nah, normal ponies "peel" apples.

This is Derpy Ditzy Doo, and she "peals" apples!

[Web of Hope]

Luna's urban youth research

I feel like that needs to be a trope, if it isn't already

[deathbot4]

SHE KNOWS!!! ABORT! ABORT! ABORT!

[Dustchu]

Uh oh, she smelled your cake scented perfume :P