Part Three, Chapter Two: What could possibly go wrong?
"You're taking advice from whom, exactly?"
"Blueblood."
Luna turned up her nose and snorted loudly, "I have no recollection of such a pony."
"Blond-maned snob, high society type?" I tried.
"You'll have to be more specific," Luna was lying sprawled on her couch, picking idly through a bowl of chocolates as I nervously paced in front of her.
"He passed a rude comment about your flank at the Gala last year," I ventured.
"More specific," Luna waved her hoof vaguely in my direction.
"You threw him into the castle moat and he cried like a filly," Luna glanced at me with a look of momentary recollection which faded fairly rapidly.
"More specific," she said, popping a chocolate into her mouth.
"Exactly how many ponies have you thrown in the moat?" I was still a little on edge. The day had been spent planning the budget for the Equestria Games opening ceremony and pining for Ditzy. This place had never felt so suffocating until I had tasted a true breath of fresh air.
"I jest, dear sister. Yes, I recall the blackguard. Pompous fellow. I cannot help but wish you had come to me for advice!" Luna rolled onto her side and idly stretched her wings. This was her pre-night watch routine. Dark chocolate and plenty of lolling around.
"Well?"
"Take her by force. Sweep in, fire blazing, and carry her off into the sunset. If she objects then slip her some tongue to keep her quiet," Luna laughed haughtily but I knew, this time, she wasn't joking.
"Luna... things don't really work like that anymore... as I said before..."
"Ah, that would explain why that young mare was so alarmed the other night..." sometimes I wondered what sorts of adventures my sister go up to when I wasn't there to keep her in check, "Be more aggressive 'Tia! You and I have crushed armies beneath our hooves! A few weeks ago we were battling an elder dragon and now you're dilly-dallying over some mare! Ludicrous!"
"I still like Blueblood's plan better. I can't imagine what my subjects would think of me if I barged into ponies homes and carried of young mothers slung over my shoulder," I giggled.
Luna pouted, "No worse than they would think of you if you reduced some newspaper peddler to ash for publishing an embarrassing photo of you."
Ah. So that's the rumour that's been going around. Well, if even Luna has heard of it then everypony in court must know. It would explain why my subjects have been even more cautious of me than usual.
"Now you of all ponies should know that I would never do something like that!"
Luna giggled and then hopped off the couch. It was high time she gathered the guards and set off for the night patrol.
"Sometimes I wish you would. One cannot help but think that part of the reason our subordinates are so timid around you is that they are never entirely sure what you are capable off. Perhaps knowing that their fears were founded in reality might bring them some small comfort. Mortals are always more frightened of the unknown," Luna casually stretched her legs and trotted over to her bedroom window, "So how will you earn your beloved's filly's favour? Stun her with your regal charms? Perhaps she will awaken to find a mountain of toys outside her bedroom window?"
"Dinky Doo is a... difficult case. She's proven rather resistant to my 'regal charms' as you put it and I have a strong suspicion that bribery would backfire on me," I frowned, a plan had begun to form in the darker recesses of my mind, "They key to our more powerful adversaries has always been gathering intelligence before attempting direct confrontation. I need to run a scouting operation first. Test the waters..."
"So cast an invisibility spell and follow her around," Luna sounded like she was growing bored of the conversation. She probably still didn't fully understand why I didn't just storm in and take Ditzy by force.
"There's only so much I can learn as an outside observer... No... I need to go deeper. Luna, I'm going to cast an anti-aging spell!"
"On the filly?" said Luna, sounding alarmed, "You'd turn her back into a babe? Why?"
"No, I'll cast an anti-aging spell on myself. And a spell to change my mane colour and hide my wings. I'll disguise myself as a normal everyday filly and infiltrate Dinky's circle of friends. Find out her likes, dislikes and penchants and then use them to win her over to my side," I grinned wickedly. An ingenious plan, if I do say so myself. The same strategy Chrysalis uses against me, time and time again.
Luna laughed loudly enough to shake the floorboards, "You would disguise yourself as a normal filly? How fun! You must show me the end result! Kibitz gave me a marvellous new invention with which to capture images permanently for later viewing. A photographical device! I wish to take some pictures of your adorable fillyness! I will frame them and hang them on my wall. Perhaps Twilight would appreciate some pictures as well" she teased, tail wagging like a puppy at dinner time.
"Yes, well... maybe" I harrumphed, "But this mission will mean I need to spend the entire day neglecting my Princess duty. I have been doing that a rather worrying number of times in recent days and the paperwork has started to pile up. I will need you to take over in my absence."
Luna's face fell, "But sister," she whined, "Paperwork is booooooring."
"Do you want the pictures or not?" I snapped. Luna moaned and groaned for a minute but ultimately relented. I wasn't sure which she was more excited about. Me as a filly or having something legitimately interesting to photograph. Modern technology was a source of constant amusement for my somewhat anachronistic sister.
"Age reversal spells can only work on you and I for a short while though, sister. You will have to move quickly," Luna was unable to mask her excitement as she talked while rummaging around in her chest, hunting for the camera that Kibitz gave her.
"Yes, yes, I know," I said, hurriedly, "It will not take nearly that long. It's a simple mission. What could possibly go wrong?"
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Plenty would be the sufficient answer.
I am assuming that this will all go according to plan with absolutely no issues whatsoever. None at all.
Celestia keeps on casting the truth spell on Diamond Tiara for future torment. Make it so.
"What could possibly go wrong?" is possibly the most disastrous question you could ask, especially if you're Twilight Sparkle.
I think Luna would have perfect grammar and say "whom." You could probably get away with that for most characters.
bit.ly/1eiaouB
Kibitz is best moustache!
Also, it is so strange to see blaggard written out as the full "blackguard" (not wrong at all, just funny to see!) I am pretty sure Luna would be the only pony to use such an antiquated insult anyway.
*Starts reading* Oh Luna...
*Keeps reading* Oh Celestia...
*Reads more* Oh Kibitz! You know not what you have unleashed!
So if Kibitz is in this story, does it mean Tiberius is around too?
I really like to think that the comics are canon, especially the ones featuring Chrysalis and Luna.
I hope there will be some filly Celestia trolling Twilight.
Loving it!
3868743 Everything now that she said those ill fated words.
3869147 I wonder what the new name of her alias should be? Perhaps it should be 'Molly'?
CELESTIA! NOOOOO!
You are better of just talking to Dinky or letting her see how your day is like. She believe you don't need her mommy because you have all of Equestria to keep your company whenever you want. Deception will only make things worst than they already are. She already thinks that you are a bad influence on her mommy.
images4.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20130405221913/mlp/images/e/e1/FANMADE_Luna_I_see_what_you_did_there.jpg
Even if you don't, I do.
Hmm, Celestia, do you know anypony called Murphy? Because right now, you're invoking his wrath.
Nice to see from whomTwilight learned her zany scheme skills.
This will only end in tears.
Tears of laughter.
I like this story, and I like witty Luna. But I think you're getting away from the heart of the thing, which is the two of them spending time together. Don't think we're bored by the adorableness. We're not.
3869395
Not to mention trying to deceive the filly (who happens to be borderline ridiculously mature for her age) who is the daughter of your love interest.
That's a wonderful plan for romantic success!
i1036.photobucket.com/albums/a446/sdf12q/My%20Little%20Pony%20Friendship%20is%20Magic/twilight_sparkle_approved_by_ambris.png
/sarcasm
3869788
Agreed. Less Celestia/Dinky more Celestia/Ditzy.
3869866
I agree, as I loved the family-like scene shown earlier when they first met. I just don't want Celestia and Dinky's relationship to become the main focus (e.g. the next 6 chapters being Celestia trying to be Dinky's friend). It hasn't yet (Dinky could simply see through Celestia's disguise, she's been shown to be that smart), but it seems to lean that way right now.
I love your stories. You write stories with ships that we normally don't see much of, but write them in an endearing way that we can't help but love them. Have you thought of having your other stories make cameos in this on (I would love to see Apple Jack and Trixie interact with this stories couple). Keep up the great work and know that I eagerly (yet patiently) look forward to your next update/story.
Great
I have caught up with this story and I am in love with it. Keep up the amazing work!
Ah..the sound of 1 hoof clapping to the power of 10..
Cellie has doomed her self by saying that.
3868743
Just plenty? 'Everything' would have been my guess. Starting with the Pinkie Party for their being a 'new' pony in Ponyville.
"felt"
I'm not sure if Luna is the worst lover in Equestria, or the awesomest.
Universe:
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Ooooooh Celly... you silly pony you...
Nice job~