• Member Since 7th Jan, 2012
  • offline last seen 1 hour ago

TheMessenger


Amateur fanfic writer and reader. Sometimes I get dreams, dreams of ponies, and wish that someone would write a story based off them. So why not me?

T
Source

It's finally over. The games, the traps, the taunts, the meddling...it's finally all over.

With his most hated foe finally gone, Ahuizotl does what any good villain would do:

Monologue.

It's a good thing Daring Do is such a good listener.

Art by Kna

Approved for Celestia's Library.

Approved for Twilight's Library

Featured on Equestria Daily.

Chapters (2)
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Comments ( 63 )
Riz

So Daring is dead but Ahui wants to bring her back to life. Am I right ?

Nice. That's all I can really say. Well done.

This needs a reading.

This is impeccable.

I thoroughly enjoyed this. Absolutely wonderful read! :twilightsmile:

I do question whether this would have been more effective as dialogue vs. monologue (Well, monologue vs. narration, but you've described it as a monologue in your description), but that's down the the individual, I suppose.

3765461 This isn't shipping. There isn't even a romance tag. Why did you add it to Straight Shipping? :rainbowhuh:

3765686

You raise a fine point; defining this fic as shipping is extremely... debatable... however, since it's about Ahuizotl feeling remorseful because he's in love with Daring Do—and I quote:

Where is the mare I fell in love with? Where. Is. Daring Do?

—I felt that it could just about be defined as 'shipping'.

As for the lack of a romance tag, that doesn't necessarily mean that it doesn't fall under shipping. One example I always like to quote is The Descendant's Every Little Bit, which could be described as shipping, and yet lacks the romance tag.

However, I suppose it all falls down to personal interpretation. I was simply hoping that a few more users would give this fic a read. :twilightsmile:

Huh, that turned out quite nicely. An interesting take on the two of them-- or at least, Ahuizotl's view of it. Well done!

This is amazing.
I congratulate you, sir/madam, for making a sad story impeccably detailed.

Did I catch a reference Paulo Cohelho in there? :trixieshiftleft::trixieshiftright:

Nah...

:fluttercry:
And now we see how it would have been if he had died...

This is beautiful. Quite an interesting story you have here, despite its brevity. I applaud you, and hope you will write more, as it is stories like this that, as a writer, I am privy to enjoy more than any other due in part to my time being very limited. Applause is in order.

Oh dear, I think this got to me more than the first chapter. :fluttercry:
Both are so sad! :applecry:
Even so, it's still well written!

Noooooo! I want more but I realize there's nothing more to write! :fluttershbad:

3770482 Don't insult this author by mentioning Paulo Coelho! I'm from the country this maggot of a "writer" comes from. His ego-stroking is stuff of legends and his schizotypia should have him locked for life!

3966239
3770482
I've only read The Alchemist so I don't know too much about the author and his works but I honestly have no idea how why I'm being compared to him.

3770482
Wait, oh, now I get it. Yeah, that was a reference to The Alchemist.

And so Ahuizotal travels the world finding mysterious relics, exploring ancient legends and continuing to write the Daring Do series, in memory of Daring Do herself. The mare he fell in love with.

3967207
Well, yes, but his travels also have an additional theme to them. He is traveling towards various things that are rumored to be able to bring someone back to life.

Very nice,:pinkiesad2:
You did a great job with Daring and Auitozuli's love hate relationship.

Need a chapter three where they get married and live as a bickering couple.

I think I like the Ahuizotl ending better, it gives me hope.

3967565 I guess that works. I just really like the idea of Ahuizotal planning traps for Daring Do, imagining how she would get past them, imagining the snappy taunts and composing a suitable rant then writing it all down to publish it under her name to keep her memory alive.

3968029
I love the idea that they still fight over ancient relics despite being married.
"CURSE YOU, DARING DOOO! ...We're still going to that restaurant tomorrow night, right?"

Don't worry. The followers will find a way to resurrect one or the other.

I like this one. Not so much the alternate, but this monologue is fantastic.

Not bad. Both kinda fall apart toward the end, the alternative path more so than the original. I could chalk up the conclusion of the latter to Ahuizotl going insane from the sight and the thought of his nemesis lying dead before him (and it works really well in that regard), but the former feels more like an inferior "mirror image" and doesn't explore the premise quite as well.

Still, this was a good read. Well done! :duck:

The original path is much better I think but I would be really interested in a story about Ahuizoti's quest for those things to resurrect her.

3761411 Seconded. His breakdown was... chilling, and extremely well-written.

this has been sitting in my read later queue for awhile and i finally got around to reading it. it was an enjoyable read, very well written:twilightsmile:

Much liquid pride was spilled

I have such a deep desire for a happy ending to this. Man I don't read sad stories often but this was so good.

What!? Two sad endings, but not an in-between ending that ends up with a more cliche/positive ending? Ah, what I'd give for a "both Daring and Ahui are gravely injured and verbally fight as they lay dying" ending... :trollestia:


...basically, a converging of the two chapters, lol.

This is heart-breakingly beautiful. I need to share this with a friend. Immediately.

3998242

A friend of mine is actually writing a fic where Azzie and Daring give it up, that all the death traps and temples was their idea of romance, and it was time to settle down.

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