Critic, indeed!
Twilight was downstairs letting Spike take a breather. It'd been a long day of the same, usual work, spell practices and house cleaning, and he preferred to be left out of that tedious labor. It was getting late in the day, and as for Owlowiscious, he was with Twilight on his stand, remaining amazingly still. "He could be sleeping," Twilight mumbled to herself. She walked up to him politely, and then proceeded to ask him forwardly, "Hey, Owlowiscious, are you awake?"
The bird still remained that way, calm and perfectly quiet. For a split second, however, he ruffled some of his loose feathers, only to return to his quaint slumber, but not before quickly asking, "Who?"
Twilight giggled, and answered, "You!" She soon returned to what she was doing, which happened to be organizing books, as always. There was little wonder as to why her pet bird snoozed so much near the end of the day all the time. That was usually when Twilight decided it best to reorganize her books for the last time after reading enough to satisfy her for the night. The constant, dull tones of all those books being taken, shuffled across the probably dusty surface, and then put safely back in a new spot must've sounded like the ocean's soothing waves to him, or something around those lines, because whenever she got to it, he'd hit it and quit it.
Though, lazy as he was, he still helped when he'd be up, awake and about. Twilight looked at the stairs to see if she could hear anything, but only got silence as feedback. Her well worked dragon might've fallen asleep on her, but that would be all right. Twilight really couldn't think of anything else she needed him for, not even outside the house. He didn't need to go to the store, or make any more lists for her like he always does around this time, so she supposed it wouldn't hurt him too much to let him go to bed early for a change. Speaking of sleep, she was getting pretty tired, too. Maybe a small nap on the couch wasn't a bad idea after all. It looked far too inviting to resist, anyway.
Of course, just as she was about to lay down, the front door knocked, triggering an immediate, "UGH!" from her. She quickly went off to go see who it was, but instead of it being one of her friends, or somepony she knew of around town like she expected it to be, it was just some grey maned, brown coated gentlecolt. He was dressed up in a green overcoat, his facial features complete with a flashy mustache and a monocle in one of his squinting eyes. Twilight spoke loudly while checking his torso out through the peeper. "What? We aren't actually a library!"
He spoke with a hint of british in his voice, saying, "I've come seeking something else. You're not my priority."
The door suddenly opened, and he forced his way in like the land lord or something, ready to evict Twilight and her acquaintances right then and there, and for no reason given, either. "Hey!" Twilight yelled as she was pushed out of the way.
"Where is it? Ah, hah! There it is..."
The skinny, little creep trotted up to Owlowiscious in a stalking manner, inspected him, and them mumbled something about it being just as he'd heard while eavesdropping on a pair of mares conversing about this very location. Finally, Twilight was brought up to demand to know, "Why are you in my house? And further more, what do you want with my owl?"
He looked sharply at her, and then went off. "I am Heavily Stuffed!"
Twilight remarked, "You don't look it."
"I am chief of the Stuffed Owl District, and I act as an official critic! This stuffed owl has been the talk of the town since I arrived here. I first heard of it while on my way to the national Manehatten Own Convention when I quickly picked up on the trail. I questioned complete strangers for weeks until I finally found my way here! Now, I'm sorry I ever made the long trip, for your bird is a disgrace!"
"What?!" Twilight asked, but she was cut off by him resuming his arrogant banter.
"Among other things, this owl's wings are scarcely stuffed fully enough to resemble a real owl's wings. Its beak is far too narrow looking in exact size, and it's eyes... What's with its eyes? They aren't even positioned right! The temple of its head looks like an apple, and the talons are cheep cardboard. Why, I can see it with my very own eyes! The back is slouching, too. That's definite signs of it being under stuffed. All in all, your owl recieving so much praise like this is unheard of. If I didn't know any better, I'd say this was some sort of conspiracy!"
"Who?"
"Me, that's who!"
The critic blinked. He then looked over at the fully awakened, and highly insulted owl. Owlowiscious simple looked back at him, his expression blank. As Heavily realized he'd completely mistaken a real own for a stuffed one, he gasped, started backing away slowly. Finally, upon the third or fourth step, he jolted out of the still open front door looking rather silly.
While Spike came down the stairs stretching from his rude awakening, Twilight closed the door. "Who was that, Twi?"
The unicorn shook her head, and said, "You know, at times like this, I really wish we had a lock for this door."
"Who?"
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- SPark · 2.6k words · 35 4 · 1.7k views
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...What?
... No really, what?
I am so confused...
~Skeeter The Lurker
I love you and your stories, nuff said
3761611 Ooh, thanks! You seem familiar... I've definitely seen you around, maybe in threads.
3761620
cause I am an attention whore I'm afraid
Yeah I been in a lot of threads in the writers group
3761633 Such forwardness... Curse my love for competent, social people who can probably make a damn good story.
/)
3761651
Thanks for the watch you sexy you!
Oh sure, make the creepy guy sound British, how dare you, my father was an owl stuffer...
Wait, that came out wrong...
3761702 X'D
3761710
Do I seem familiar?
3761718 Maybe I've seen you, maybe I haven't. I think this is the first time you've faved one of my stories, though.
3761423 You and me both. I have no idea what the hell I just read.
3761822
Not the first one, but I guess it has been a while, and it might have been under a different name all the way back then...
Do you remember saying you'd proofread, edit and promote my next personal fic of 4k or more words? And then I proceeded to let my writing lapse over the months since then, even now having written only around 3k for my next fic... whoops...
Point is, you were one of the fist writers I encountered on here, and the fact you're still going strong is really cool. So yeah, put that in your trophy cabinet next to all the butts.
3761922 I'm pleased to hear that.
3761961
I'm pleased to hear you...
So that was a thing. I have no idea what to say about that. I guess I'll just leave it at "What in the neon green hell..?"
3761987 Indubitably.
3762010
That butt for your picture has not enough butt.
3762020
Aw, crap! Look what you've done!
th01.deviantart.net/fs71/150/f/2013/331/5/d/twilight_sparkle_crying_tears_by_mighty355-d6vux4e.png
Do you know what I have to go through to calm that girl down?
i do believe thats the wierdest short ive read all day.
anywho, keep up the good work
3762184 Thank you! Will do.
3761919
Still.
Was a rather good read, I thought.
~Skeeter The Lurker
3762378 It was also a good write, I thought.
3762454
At a dead even 1k, I'd have hoped so.
Now the big question:
Did you have fun writing it?
~Skeeter The Lurker
3762462 I had fun writing it, sure! I had even more fun writing it while listening to this, though.
3762487
Pfft.
That tune is so you.
~Skeeter The Lurker
3762533 Ikr? X)
I really expected to see him leave in a flurry of feathers and pecked lumps.
3762640 Too wacky!
Now that's what I call Awkward. Heavily Stuffed should get a name change and call himself Full of Himself.
3762969
LOL
3762972
Eheh. Not my best joke.
There seems to be critics for everything these days.
Kinda hard not to be judged.
3764668 They even have critics for critics!
Odd but amusing. I think it perhaps needed a it more to it though. Perhaps more back and forth between Twi and Owlicous or her and Stuffed.
Light-hearted fun, and there's nothing wrong with that.
It could have done with being a little longer (dead on 1,000 words? Hmm) and there's the odd typo (eg "Own" for "Owl") but I was still fairly amused. Twilight's "You don't look it" line... okay, a little out of character, but it still cracked me up. Not sure what "a hint of british" might be, though: Scottish and London accents are both British and sound nothing like each other. 
After putting this off, I thoroughly enjoyed it. More of the Owl Critic!
sorry about the start the sound bugged out for a moment
Who?