2017 April Fools Special - Attack on the Valkyrie
Starbound
April Fools Special 2017 - Attack on the Valkyrie
The bone dragon, it turned out, was only roaring because it thought roaring made it look cool. All it really wanted was a friend, so after some tea and crumpets, during which time said dragon revealed it had been the one who had programmed the coordinates into their computers, Jack and Twilight found themselves drifting through space once again in both the Ulysses and Enterprise.
“That was a fun distraction,” Jack mused over the communicator. “Who knew red herring could be so delicious?”
They were preparing to warp to a set of coordinates that just seemed a bit important, and the ships were powering up.
“So, when we find Equus, what are you gonna do from there?” Twilight asked.
“I dunno,” Jack shrugged even though Twilight couldn’t see. “Probably take up smuggling or something. This whole jumping around the galaxy thing has been kinda fun. Might want to do it more often.”
“Isn’t smuggling dangerous?” Twilight asked. “I mean, by the sound of things, you’re sneaking things past an authority. You could get in serious trouble.”
“What, you think I’d accept a massive contract from a fat slug thing to haul spice from Kessel, get followed by a galactic empire, dump it off next to a bunch of black holes as I skim closer to them than anyone else ever has and create a massive misconception on whether a parsec is a unit of time or distance--”
“Distance, obviously.”
“--get a bounty put on my head, contract an old guy and a whiny kid from the desert to take them to a planet that gets blown up, shoot first, get caught by the galactic empire on their superweapon, rescue a princess--”
“You already did that.”
“--escape to a rebel alliance, run away from a rebel alliance, join a rebel alliance, serve as a general for three years and get confronted by a bounty hunter about that bounty that was put on my head, try to pay off my bounty, get backstabbed by a friend and captured by the galactic empire, get frozen in carbonite and taken back to the space slug guy?”
Jack could almost hear Twilight just staring straight ahead.
“That’s oddly specific,” she finally commented.
“Because I won’t do that,” promised Jack. “I won’t reenact that plot that’s been done to death.”
Right before Twilight could say something back, however, her radar started going off. And by the sound of things on Jack’s end, his was too.
“SAIL, where is it?” Twilight asked her ship’s AI.
Her radar screen blinked on and created a 3D representation of the area around her, with a flashing red light down, forward, and to the right side of her ship. No sooner than the one had appeared than four smaller ones appeared and beelined straight for it.
“Shit,” cursed Jack. “It’s a downed ship. the four readings headed for it are a USCM scavenger squadron. Probably to pick apart the wreckage and see if there’s anything to grab.”
“If the ship is downed, we need to go see if there are any survivors!” Twilight exclaimed, already dashing to the pilot’s seat.
“Agreed. And we can see if the USCM were after anything of interest,” Jack added. “My ship’s weapons ought to make short work of these scavenger ships, but we’ll need to hightail it out of the area before the bigger ships show up to avenge their fallen comrades.”
Jack and Twilight maneuvered their way down toward where the lights were, which was a considerable distance away, near where the edge of a smaller, tightly-knit asteroid belt was situated.
“Damn it,” Jack hissed. “Those fools tried to navigate that asteroid belt. Don’t they know the odds of successfully navigating an asteroid field are approximately 3,720 to 1?”
Twilight had no response. If the unknown beings had been desperate enough to try to navigate an asteroid field, what was chasing them?
Silently, she pressed the master switch to prime all defenses. Jack’s ship systems seemed to be powering up as well.
“This is gonna suck,” Jack muttered, before the Ulysses suddenly powered forward toward a pile of wreckage floating by the edge of the field. Twilight was only moments behind him as she surged forward as well.
“SAIL, lock onto any USCM targets,” she commanded, reaching away from her dashboard and preparing to fire her laser defenses as soon as they were locked.
“Target locked on four ships,” SAIL replied in her cool voice. One of the nice things about Jack was that he was able to replace the harsh, calculating voice of her regular computer with a softer, more emotive one.
“Target locked.”
“On my signal,” Jack said over the mic. “We don’t want to give them the opportunity to run or call for help.”
“Got it,” Twilight assured him.
The mic went quiet as they waited. Twilight could hear her heart beating in her chest as the seconds passed.
Finally, there came a loud sort of howling sound as four H-shaped ships with circular cockpits flew out of the wreckage. Dangling off of the bottom of each cockpit was a strange magnetized cord. Twilight could see it was magnetized because it was already attracting metal pieces of the wrecked ship away.
“What are they looking for…?” muttered Jack.
Twilight had nothing to say. They were this close to being discovered. She could only imagine what would happen if the USCM found out about her.
“Now!” barked Jack suddenly. Twilight reacted instantaneously.
There was a burst of laser fire from both ships and in mere moments, all four scavenger ships were reduced to scrap metal.
“Nice job, Twilight,” breathed Jack. He sounded just as tired as she did despite having done no actual physical effort. Perhaps the suspense of the situation had messed with him.
“Let’s go see what all the fuss was about."
The Ulysses and Enterprise glided forward toward the wrecked ship, and Jack let out a slight gasp.
“That’s a YT-1300! Light freighter, perfect for smuggling and cargo transport! I haven’t seen one of them in ages!”
Twilight didn’t know what a YT-1300 was, but the strange, vaguely disc-shaped ship was definitely completely downed, with the engines dead and no life signs.
“I’m gonna go beam aboard and see what all the fuss was about. Want to come with?"
“Sure,” said Twilight, stepping out of her seat and trotting back toward the transporter.
“Beaming now,” said Jack, before the line cut completely.
“SAIL, send me over,” commanded Twilight, and no sooner than she had said this that she saw everything around her flash into different colors, and suddenly, she was standing in a padded round corridor on top of a metal floor. Next to her, Jack materialized in a flash of light.
“Is that--” Jack immediately asked, before suddenly dashing forward toward a strange, circular chessboard-looking table. “A dejarik board! I haven’t seen one of these in years!”
“What’s dejarik?” Twilight asked, looking over the metal table with interest.
“It’s like chess, but with holographic creatures,” Jack summarized, before looking around the dark ship. “No life signs on board. I’m gonna have a look around. See if I can find what the fuss was about.”
He pulled a pistol out of its holster and stepped into the circular hall and out of sight. Twilight took her own peek around the ship. No one was aboard in her quick look, but she figured she wasn’t the one looking around the cockpit.
“Found anything?” Jack’s voice called from some other part of the ship.
“Nothing,” answered Twilight.
“Come on back to the lounge area, then,” Jack replied. “No one’s aboard, but I found something.”
Twilight complied, heading back to the room with the dejarik board, where she found Jack standing there, inspecting a small disc.
“I found this in the pilot’s seat, he said, looking it over. “No one aboard, not even Glitch or droids or whatnot. The ship was shot out here remotely with this information on it, but the launcher probably didn’t account for the asteroid field.”
“Do you know where the ship was trying to go?”
Jack nodded. “I have the coordinates. And this disc has USCM encryption. See?” he angled the disc so Twilight could make out some lettering engraved on it. “It uses the Aurabesh alphabet. So unless I’m much mistaken, this ship was on its way to the Rebel Alliance.”
“Rebel Alliance? Rebels from what?” Twilight scrutinized the disc. The writing looked nothing like the standard Basic alphabet human civilization used.
“Rebels from the USCM’s tyranny,” Jack slipped the disc into a protective case and then stowed it on his belt. “They’ve been hiding out at a secret base on a hidden planet since about the time this April Fool’s Chapter was thought of. Fortunately, the coordinates stored in the ship's navicomputer should lead us right to them.”
“Then let’s go. If this has USCM data, then they need to see it."
“Way ahead of you. Beam back aboard the Enterprise and I’ll send you the coordinates. We have to get there before the USCM does. They’ve probably already deduced the location of the base, so we need to get there as soon as possible.”
It only took them five minutes to beam back aboard, share the coordinates, and warp off.
“Admiral Drogun, sir? The scavenger ships vanished when attempting to investigate the Millennium Falcon. Readings in the area indicate a standard human Sparrow-class vessel and the mysterious readings we received from our scans by our emergency outpost were in the area,” Private Joanes informed, reading off of his tablet.
“Interesting,” said Drogun, tilting his head. “Did they take the bait?”
“Looks so. The tracking device is functioning and is leading toward the Yavin system. The Valkyrie is already on its way.”
“Good,” Drogun nodded. “I’m taking an awful risk here, Joanes. This had better work.”
It took them some time to reach the Yavin system, but once there, they detected readings originating from the fourth moon, which they promptly flew on down to. Once there, they found themselves in the midst of a massive assortment of beings in the middle of a large military operation headquartered in several old stone temples. The standard Hylotl, Glitch, Avia, Human, Apex, and Novakid entities ran back and forth, but there appeared to be other beings down there as well.
“I guess this is the rebel alliance,” observed Jack as he sent hailing transmissions, along with a message that they had recovered some sort of USCM plans, as well as the proof.
“What a ragtag bunch of misfits,” Twilight noted.
“They all fight for a common cause: the destruction of the USCM.”
“You are cleared for landing in the main temple.”
“Roger that,” Jack replied. “Follow me down, Twilight.”
Having never landed the Enterprise planetside before, Twilight found it easier than expected. What was not easier than expected was how they were going to win their way into the good graces of the Rebel Alliance, because as soon as they stepped out of their ships, they found themselves at gunpoint.
“How did you find us?” asked a man dressed in simple clothes and with a long beard, as he stepped out of the crowd.
“We found a ship on its way here that was attacked by the USCM, and it was carrying this,” Jack removed the disc from its protector on his belt. “You’ll notice standard USCM encryption.”
“The ship you recovered this from,” the bearded man took the disc and looked it over. “Was it a YT-1300, by chance?”
“Yeah, it was,” Jack nodded. “Found it beat up outside an asteroid field. No life signs aboard, not even droids.”
“It is as I feared,” the bearded man bowed his head. “Our strike team on Scarif was completely destroyed, but they said they managed to launch a ship remotely with the plans in a last-ditch effort to get them to us.”
“The plans?” asked Twilight. “The plans to what?”
“To the USCM’s planet-devastating battlestation, the Valkyrie,” the bearded man answered. “You have our sincere gratitude for completing the delivery. My name is General Jan Dodonna, head of the Rebel Alliance’s military forces here on Yavin IV.”
“I’m Jack Thomas,” Jack nodded. “Just a wayward star-traveler. This is Twilight Sparkle. I’m looking to lead her back to Equestria.”
“An Equestrian?” Dodonna’s eyebrows rose. “Our other Equestrian ought to be happy to see you,” and here Twilight perked up incredibly quickly, “but we’ll have to leave the reunion for later. We must get the information out of this disc as soon as possible. It’s most likely the USCM have tracked us all here, so we haven’t a moment to lose.”
Drogun and Joanes stood in the control room as the Valkyrie approached a giant red gas planet surrounded by several planet-sized moons.
As he and Joanes discussed something, their comms beeped.
“Yes?” Drogun asked as he opened the link.
“We’re approaching the planet Yavin. The Rebel base is on a moon on the far side. We are preparing to orbit the planet.”
“Good,” Drogun nodded, before closing the channel and smiling grimly. “So it begins.”
Jack and Twilight stood in a room surrounded by many different pilots wearing orange flightsuits, some already wearing helmets, others with them off. General Dodonna had successfully decrypted the contents of the disc and its contents were now on-screen for all to see. The Valkyrie was a massive spherical moon-sized battlestation, it turned out, with a strange divot in the surface that was presumably the source of the ray of destruction.
“The battlestation is heavily-shielded and contains a firepower greater than half the starfleet. Its defenses are designed around a direct large-scale assault. A small one-man fighter should be able to penetrate the outer defense.”
Jack scowled as the information came on-screen. He hadn’t signed up for this.
“Pardon me for asking, sir,” interjected one pilot, “but what good are snub fighters going to be against that?”
“Well, the USCM doesn’t consider a small, one-man fighter to be any threat, or they’d have a tighter defense. An analysis of the plans provided by our two visitors,” he indicated Twilight and Jack, “has demonstrated a weakness.in the battlestation.”
He looked back toward the crowd meaningfully as the screen zoomed in on a precise point on the surface of the station, the beginning of a trench. “The approach will not be easy. You’re required to maneuver straight down this trench and skim the surface to this point,” the screen froze at a wall in the trench with a hole in the surface. “The target area is only two meters wide. It’s a small thermal exhaust port right below the main port. The shaft leads directly to the reactor system. A precise hit will start a chain reaction which should destroy the entire station.”
A ship indicator appeared on screen and dropped a small ball right into the hole, which fell straight down the shaft to a central point in the station, where an indication showed the station blowing to pieces.
“Only a precise hit will set up a chain reaction. The shaft is ray-shielded, so you’ll have to use proton torpedoes.”
The room around them exploded into murmurs of disbelief.
“That’s impossible! Even for a computer!” exclaimed one human pilot.
“It’s not impossible,” retorted Twilight. “I used to bulls-eye Everfree Womp Rats on my old T-16 prototype back home, and they’re not much bigger than 2 meters.”
Jack felt himself smirk as the pilot flushed.
"Man your ships,” commanded Dodonna, “and may the Force be with us.”
The executives around the ship had gathered in the control room as the Valkyrie began its final orbit.
“We are orbiting the planet at maximum velocity. The moon with the rebel base will be in range in 30 minutes.”
Joanes smiled at the thought. “This will be a day long remembered,” he announced with finality. “It has seen the end of the Rogue One strike force, and will soon see the end of the rebellion.”
Twilight emerged from a dressing room in an orange pilot’s flight suit, feeling her heart racing. She would be joining the attack, since if this Valkyrie were allowed to continue to exist, Equus would forever live in fear of beings they had never met.
However, she was dismayed to see Jack loading several boxes worth of stuff onto the Ulysses as she emerged.
“So... you got a reward and you’re just leaving then?” she asked, trying to conceal the betrayal she felt.
“That’s right, yeah,” Jack didn’t meet her eye. “I, uh, I got some old debts I gotta pay off with this stuff. And besides, you didn’t think I‘d be fool enough to stick around here, do you?”
He stopped and looked her straight in the eyes.
“Why don’t you come with me? I’m trying to get you home, and we’re this close.”
Twilight felt anger bubble up inside her. “Come on, why don’t you take a look around!? You know what’s at stake here, what they’re up against! They could use a good pilot like you, and you’re turning your back on them!”
“What good’s a reward if you ain’t around to use it?” retorted Jack. “Besides, attacking that battlestation isn’t my idea of courage. More like… suicide.”
Twilight snarled. “Well, take care of yourself, Jack. I guess that’s what you’re best at, isn’t it?”
And she stomped off.
“Hey, Twilight,” Jack reached out and caught a leg. Twilight stopped and turned around to glare at him. He was working his jaw like there was something he wanted to say, but at the end he just sighed. “May the Force be with you.”
They held each other’s gaze for some seconds more, but then Twilight turned and headed off to the ship that was going to be her’s.
No sooner than she had left than Dodonna found himself walking with her.
“Something wrong?” the general asked.
“It’s Jack,” Twilight sighed. “I don’t know, I guess I just thought he’d change his mind.”
The general nodded sagely. “Mr. Thomas must follow his own path. No one can choose it for him. And in any case, in light of our odds, it is understandable that he would wish to survive.”
Twilight sighed, thinking of her mentor. “I just wish my teacher, Princess Celestia were here. She’d know what to say to boost my confidence.”
“You’ll be fine, Twilight Sparkle,” assured Dodonna. “Go get familiar with your ship. We’ll be monitoring everything from here.”
And with that he was gone, leaving Twilight alone again, marching toward her ship.
But not for long.
“Twilight!”
She knew that shout from anywhere. Spinning around as quickly as possible, she was astounded to see a prismatic blur rush up to her and tackle her to the ground.
“Holy crap, Twilight, it is you! I’ve been looking everywhere for you!”
“R-Rainbow Dash?” Twilight pushed the being off of her and stood up. Sure enough, the former Element of Loyalty herself stood there in an orange flightsuit, her mane as vibrant as ever, showing no signs of the age that had befallen their friends, and she looked giddy as could be.
“How did you find us!?” Dash asked in disbelief. “I found them when I went looking for you! Figured I could use all the help I could get and with the USCM out there, they were willing to help me find you to possibly ally ponykind with the Rebels! And now you’re here, I can bring you back home when this is all over!”
“We found our way here, actually,” Twilight grinned. “We found the plans and followed the trail here.”
Dash looked down at her suit.
“Are you going up with us?”
“I’ll be right up there with you, Dash. Have I got stories to tell you!”
“Twilight Sparkle!”
An older man came walking up to both of them. Once he reached them, he indicated the T-shaped ship just a bit further down the garage. “You sure you can pilot that thing?”
“With all due respect, Captain Dreis, my friend Twilight here is one of the quickest learners in history.”
Dreis smiled. “You’ll do alright. Let’s get a move on.”
Twilight and Dash shared one final smile and nod, before parting, with twilight heading to the indicated ship.
The ship attendant was lowering a strange, pill-shaped droid on stilts into a slot in her ship.
“We’ll be assigning you this R2 astromech unit,” the attendant said. “They’re good for making ship repairs mid-flight. He’s a dependable little droid. You should be fine.”
Preparations were just about finished, and as Twilight slid into the cockpit, she noticed that most of the controls matched those of the Enterprise, with a few extra buttons here and there. It wasn’t going to be that hard to pick up.
“Time to lift off,” came Dreis’ voice over the commlink in her helmet.
One-by-one, the T-shaped ships all lifted off from the ground, maneuvered out of the garage, and into the open air, where they al soared into space, followed by several Y-shaped ships as well.
As the blue of the sky gave way to the darkness of space, they heard the alert from Mission Control.
“Stand-by alert. Valkyrie approaching. Estimated time to firing range, 15 minutes.”
The ships flew through space toward a grey dot that was growing ever larger the closer they got to it.
Twilight closed her eyes and took a deep breath, recalling her teacher’s words. “Twilight, the force of magic will always be with you.”
I sure hope you’re right, Princess.
“All wings report in,” came Dreis’ orders over the commlink.
“Red ten, standing by.”
“Red seven, standing by.”
“Red three, standing by.”
“Red six, standing by.”
“Red nine, standing by.”
“Red two, standing by,” came Dash’s voice.
“Red eleven, standing by.”
“Red five, standing by,” Twilight chimed in.
“All wings present and accounted for, Gold Leader,” Dreis said over the comms.
“Acknowledged,” came Gold Leader’s voice. “All Gold Wings present and accounted for.”
“Acknowledged,” replied Dreis. “Lock S-foils in attack position.”
Twilight reached over and hit the S-Foil button on her dashboard. The ship rumbled around her, as she saw other ships’ wings split from the back of a T into an X.
The ships around them began to rumble even more.
“We’re passing through the magnetic field! Hold tight! Switch your deflectors on, double-front.”
They got ever closer to the station, and it soon filled up their entire field of view.
“Look at the size of that thing!” exclaimed Dash.
“Cut the chatter, Red Two,” barked Dreis. “Accelerate to attack speed!”
She heard him sigh. “This is it, boys.”
“Red Leader, this is Gold Leader.”
“I copy, Gold Leader.”
“We’re starting for the target shaft now."
“We’re in position,” confirmed Dreis. “I’m going to cut across the axis and try to draw their fire.”
The squadron of X-wings spun down and began the attack. The battle was on.
Suddenly, green lights lit up the nightscape around them as the USCM began firing on them from every possible angle. However, Twilight thanked her lucky stars that their ships were so small and agile that they were evading the fire too easily.
“Heavy fire, boss,” informed Dash. “23 degrees.”
“I see it,” Dreis replied. “Stay low.”
Twilight looked out in time to see Dash expertly maneuver herself around the surface of th battlestation, which was littered with towers and laser turrets.
“This is Red Five,” said Twilight, pulling her X-wing up. “I’m going in.”
With that, she pushed down and started peppering the surface of the station with laser fire, which produced several sparks but didn’t seem to be doing any damage, until a cloud of smoke erupted from something she hit.
“Twilight! Pull up!” barked one of the pilots.
Twilight complied, only just pulling away from the surface of the station in time to avoid getting hit.
“Are you alright?” asked the same pilot
“Yeah, I got a little cooked, but I’m okay.”
“Keep it up, boys, we’re doing great!” Dreis called.
Joanes calmly marched down a hall as an officer ran up to him.
“We count thirty rebel ships, Ensign Joanes, but they’re so small, they’re evading our turbolasers. What would you recommend?”
“We’ll have to destroy them ship-to-ship,” Joanes said firmly. If the ships were that small and fast, there was no reason not to deploy their own hornets nest to sting them back. “Get the crews to their fighters.”
“An excellent idea, sir,” said the officer, hurrying off.
“Watch yourselves!” cautioned Dreis. “There’s a lot of fire coming from the west side of that deflection tower!”
“I’m going in,” Twilight stated.
“I’m on it,” also said Dash. “Cover me, Porkins."
“Right with you, Red Two,” came Red Six’s voice.
Dash and Twilight worked in total tandem, spraying laser fire at the dull grey tower, before their shots managed to blast it to smithereens.
“Nice one, Twi!” Dash called.
“I think I’m getting the hang of this,” Twilight smiled.
“I’ve got a problem here,” Porkins said quietly over his commlink.
“Porkins, get out of here and eject!”
“No, I can hold it!” assured Porkins, but Twilight noticed his ship was falling dangerously low.
“Pull up!” she yelled over the mic.
“No I’m all--AAAAAAARGH!”
A flash of fire suddenly erupted where Porkins’ ship had been moments before.
Twilight sucked in a breath. If she thought herself invincible, that moment had certainly done away with that.
“The rebel base will be in range in seven minutes.”
Drogun calmly took a deep breath. Everything was under control. These fighters could do nothing against their armor.
Twilight pulled back up and prepared for another run.
Twilight, trust your feelings, Princess Celestia’s voice sounded in her head.
Twilight took a steadying breath, and then aimed her ship where the most unlikely place for a turret to be at would be and began to fire. Several small explosions erupted on the surface and some of the laser fire ceased. She smiled to herself. This was going well.
“Squad leaders, we’ve picked up a new group of signals. Enemy fighters coming your way.”
Twilight glanced down at her radar.
“My scope’s negative, I can’t see anything,” she said over the commlink.
“Pick up your visual scanning! Here they come!”
The scream of several H-shaped ships sounded. More of the scavenger ships from before had appeared.
“Watch it, Red Seven, you’ve got one on your tail!”
And in short order, the heard Red Seven’s panic over the mic.
“I’m hit!” he shouted, before suddenly his line went quiet and another burst of flame illuminated the spacescape around them.
“Dash, you’ve picked one up! Watch it!” Twilight yelped, immediately redirecting her X-wing toward her friend’s, who had suddenly picked up a fighter on her tail.
“Can’t see it!” Dash said over the mic, and Twilight could hear her twisting around in an attempt to find it.
“I’ll be right there,” Twilight promised, getting right on the TIE fighter’s tail and trying to get it into weapon range.
Her indicator showed the fighter weaving around the targeting reticule as it attempted to lock onto Dash, before finally hitting dead center, where Twilight immediately blasted it into space dust.
She could hear Dash sigh over the mic. “Thanks, Twi.”
Joanes marched down the hallways inside the battle station, seeking out two particular pilots, who appeared to be awaiting his command.
“Several fighters have broken off from the main group,” Joanes barked, before turning. “Come with me.”
“Yes sir,” said one of the pilots as both of them started following him.
“Pull in! Twilight, Pull in!”
“Watch your back, Twilight, watch your back!”
Twilight did her best to try and maneuver her ship out of the sights of the TIE fighter behind her, but it was sticking to her too well.
“Watch your back! Fighter’s coming in right above you!” came Dash’s alert.
She heard the sounds of several blasts, followed by a sudden shift in her ship as something made contact.
“I’m hit but not bad! R2, see what you can do with it!” Twilight quickly instructed the droid.
R2 whistled and immediately set to trying to make the quick repair.
“Hang on, back there!” Twilight called back.
“Red Two, can you see Red Five?”
“There’s a heavy fire zone there, boss,” Dash replied. “Red Five, where are you?”
“I can’t shake him!” Twilight shrieked as the scream of the TIE fighter sounded yet again right behind her.
“Hang on, Twi, I’ll be right there!” Dash promised, before the line went quiet.
Twilight continued dodging the TIE fighter’s shots, even managing to get it to fire on its own station a few times, but no matter what she did, she just couldn’t get the TIE off her tail.
“Blast it, Dreis, where are you?” she muttered, hoping the captain would be coming to her aid.
She continued flying around, hoping to manually shake him off, but it was again to no avail. But then suddenly, she saw Dash’s X-wing appear out of nowhere and pepper the spot behind her with fire, shredding the TIE fighter instantly.
Twilight sighed. “Thanks, Dash.”
“Good shooting, Dash,” came Red Three’s call over the radio.
“Red leader, this is Gold leader. We’re starting our attack run.”
“I copy, Gold leader. Move into position,” Dreis answered.
Joanes let out a calm breath as the trio of TIEs, the center being a heavily self-modified one, launched from the main docking bay.
“Stay in attack formation,” he instructed his cohorts.
“Copy, sir,” one of his wingmen replied.
Davish Krail took a calm breath as the trio of Y-wings flew down into the trench.
“The exhaust port is marked… and locked in,” he said, hitting a series of buttons, locking onto the exhaust port. With that, the trio began zooming straight down the trench at top speed, before a sudden storm of laser fire forced them to slow.
“Switch all power to front deflector screen,” he instructed, “switch all power to front deflector screen.”
“How many guns do you think, Gold Five?” Dutch asked almost conversationally.
“I’d say about 20 guns. Some on the surface, some on the towers,” Krail answered, staying alert.
“The Valkyrie will be in range in 5 minutes.” came the alert from the command center.
“Switch to targeting computer,” Dutch said as he pulled alongside Krail’s ship.
“Computer’s locked. Getting a signal,” Krail replied. Behind them, Tyree stayed to keep eyes on the rear.
Suddenly, the storm of laser fire ended.
“The guns! They’ve stopped!” Krail exclaimed, before instantly adjusting his shields. “Stabilize your rear deflectors! Watch for enemy fighters!”
“They’re coming in! Three marks at 210!” Dutch said.
Krail looked around to see three TIE fighters quickly slide themselves into position behind the three of them.
Joanes adjusted his control stick, before activating the rotating fire mechanism on his blasters.
“I will take them myself. Cover me,” he barked at his wingmen.
“Yes sir,” the same from before replied.
It didn’t take long for him to lock onto the rear ship and open fire. The Y-wing pilot never stood a chance as his ship exploded into fire.
“It’s no good, I can’t maneuver!” Dutch was losing it. Krail had to calm him down. They had come too far to let it go to waste!
“Stay on target!”
“We’re too close!”
“Stay on target!”
“Loosen up!”
But suddenly, Dutch’s line went dead as his ship exploded into fire and he smashed into the walls of the trench.
“Gold Five to Red leader,” Krail sighed as he pulled out of the trench, “lost Tyree, lost Dutch.”
“I copy Gold leader,” he heard Dreis say.
“The came from behind--”
And after that, everything exploded around him.
An aide walked up to Admiral Drogun, who was watching the proceedings with a slight bit of nervousness. These one-man fighters were doing more than originally anticipated.
“We’ve analyzed their attack, sir,” the aide said, hoping not to anger the admiral, “and there is a danger. Shall I have your ship standing by?”
But despite all of that, the chances of the rebels succeeding were laughable.
“Evacuate? In our moment of triumph?” he asked, nonplussed. “I think you seriously overestimate their chances.”
“Rebel base, three minutes and closing.” the command center intercom called, emphasizing his point.
“Red boys, this is Red leader. Rendezvous at mark 6.1,” commanded Dreis.
“This is Red Two, flying toward you,” Dash answered.
“Red Three, standing by,” came another.
“Red leader, this is Base One,” came Dodonna’s voice from down on the planet. “Keep half your group out of range for the next run.”
“I copy, Base One. Twilight,” and here Twilight perked up. The stoppage of laser fire had proven a nice rest for her and the others, “take Reds Two and Three and hold up here. Wait for my signal to start your run.”
Twilight wordlessly complied, beginning to circle around near the entrance of the shaft with Dash and the other one, Biggs she thought he was called, on her wing.
“This is it,” Dreis commented as him and his wingmates flew into the shaft, with him taking point several meters ahead.
The storm of laser fire erupted again and the three of them flew through it almost as though it weren’t there.
“We should be able to see it by now,” Red Eleven growled tensely over the mic.
And again, the laser fire stopped suddenly.
“Keep your eyes open for those fighters,” Dreis instructed.
“There’s too much interference!” Red Eleven replied. “Red Five, can you see them from where you are?”
Twilight looked around, trying to spot the ships. “No sign of any--” suddenly, she saw three blurs of motion. “Wait! Coming in at .35!”
“I see them,” Red Eleven responded.
The three ships slid behind them again, despite Twilight’s, Dash’s, and Biggs’ attempts to shoot them down.
“I’m in range,” Dreis murmured over the mic. “Target’s coming up. Just hold them off for a few seconds.”
Joanes adjusted his control stick again.
“Close up formation,” he said, as he started to lock onto one of the X-wings.
“Almost… there…” Dreis muttered.
Behind him, Red Ten’s ship exploded into fire and Red Eleven began to panic.
“Get a little loose! They’re right behind me!”
“Almost… there…” Dreis muttered again as he got closer.
“I can’t hold them!” Eleven shouted even louder.
A few seconds later, his ship, too, was destroyed.
Twilight continued to watch with bated breath as the trio of TIEs flew further ahead and got right behind Dreis’ X-wing.
And just in the nick of time, two light blurs shot from Dreis’ ship and he pulled up…
“It’s away!”
...just as a massive explosion rocked the surface of the Valkyrie.
“Did it hit?” Biggs asked.
“Negative,” and Twilight felt her breath leave her as though she had been punched in the gut. Dreis sounded resigned as he flew off. “It didn’t go in. It just impacted on the surface.”
Twilight, Dash, and Biggs shot toward him as the central TIE with the curved wings closed in on its kill.
“Red leader, come to .05. We’ll cover for you!” she promised over the mic.
“Stay there! I just lost my starboard engine. Get set up for your attack run!”
The curved-winged TIE let of a spray of laser fire, which struck Dreis’ ship in the engine, sending him plummeting.
“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA--” he screamed, before the line went deathly quiet. Out of the side of the ship, Twilight watched as his X-wing collided with the surface and exploded in a flash of fire.
It was just down to the three of them.
“Valkyrie, one minute and closing.”
“Biggs, Dash, let’s close it up,” she said, sounding a lot more confident than she felt. “We’re going in, and we’re going in full-throttle.”
“Right with you, boss,” Biggs affirmed over the commlink.
“Twilight, at that speed, will you be able to pull out in time?” asked Dash in serious concern.
“Funny, your mom asked me the same thing last night, Dash.”
Author's Note:
THAT'S RIGHT. I WROTE 6000 WORDS JUST TO SET UP ONE PERFECTLY TIMED YOUR MOM JOKE. I TOLD YOU NO MORE LAST-SECOND APRIL FOOLS JOKES. THIS ONE WAS PLANNED MONTHS IN ADVANCE! JOKE'S ON YOU, FOR EXPECTING ME NOT TO TROLL YOU GUYS THIS YEAR!
FUCK YOU RYTEXJUST KIDDING
"It'll be just like Ghastly Gorge back home," Twilight replied, smirking at the memories of racing Dash through the canyon.
The trio of X-Wings aileron'ed into the trench, upon which Twilight immediately hit the accelerator to full-speed, sending her X-wing rocketing forward.
"We'll stay back far enough to cover you," promised Biggs, as his and Dash's ship slid back several meters.
"My scope shows the tower, but I can't see the exhaust port. Are you sure the computer can hit it?" Dash asked.
The ships continued their breakneck pace forward, their deflectors pushing all the bolts from the Valkyrie's turbolaser turrets away.
"Watch yourself! Increase speed, full throttle!" Twilight commanded.
"What about that tower?" Dash asked.
"You worry about those fighters! I'll worry about the tower!" Twilight snapped back.
Forward they continued, evading the storm of laser fire as they went. However, one bolt did manage to slip past Twilight's shields and graze the engine, where her R2's earlier work had been.
"R2, that stabilizer's broken loose again," Twilight said as the ship started to rumble around them. "See if you can't lock it down."
R2 whistled set to trying to tie down the stabilizer.
No sooner had she said this than the laser towers stopped firing. Twilight felt her throat go dry. Here they come, she thought.
"Fighters! Coming in 0.3!" Dash called over the commlink.
Twilight could hear the sound of the TIE fighters shooting behind her, followed by Dash groaning.
"I'm hit!" she called. "I can't stay with you!"
"Get clear, Dash," Twilight nodded to herself. "You can't do any more good from back there."
"Sorry!" Dash apologized, before her X-wing soared out of the trench behind her.
Joanes watched the X-wing he had hit fly off into space toward the forest moon.
"Let him go. Stay on the leader," he ordered his wingmen.
Twilight could hear the roar of the TIE fighters get louder.
"Hurry up, Twilight! They're coming in much faster this time!" Biggs shouted over the mic.
Twilight hit every possible accelerator to keep pushing her ship forward, but no matter what she hit, the screaming behind her got ever louder.
"R2, try and increase the power!"
R2 acknowledged with a chirp, but the TIEs were getting closer and closer...
"Hurry up, Twilight! Quick!" Twilight could not miss the fear in Biggs' voice at this point. "QUICK!"
She heard the blaster fire, heard the explosion, and heard the commlink completely go dead. The force of the moment hit her like an iron punch. She was alone.
She was alone, and she was next.
Drogun let out an easy breath. One fighter left, with a few scattered survivors fighting a losing battle. It was about to be over, and they could fly directly to Terra Stella and put an end to that blight upon civilization.
Rebel base, thirty seconds and closing.
Joanes smirked as they closed in on the final X-wing, already taking aim.
"I'm on the leader," he commanded, to his wingmates' acknowledgement.
Twilight's breaths were coming shallower and shallower with each passing second. It was with a shaky hoof that she hit the button to turn on the targetting computer, and only with a craned head could she even see into it, to see that she was still 30,000 meters away and closing. 30,000 meters!
She was never going to make it!
The icy grip of panic began to set in as she adjusted her targeting computer. This had to have been a mistake! They can't have come so close just to fail!
And at 20,000, it was as though magically, her fear and restlessness mysteriously vanished. She let out a deep breath as she felt a strange, peacefulness wash over her.
Use the Force, Twilight, she heard Celestia's voice say into her head as she flew, providing her with more comfort than the Princess would ever know.
She let out a deep breath, then reached back up to look through the targeting computer.
Let go! Celestia's voice said again.
Twilight felt herself slide back into her seat, though a slight unease entered her. She needed that computer!
Joanes felt his smirk slip into a scowl. There was too much familiar energy in the area.
"The Force is strong with this one," he said to himself as he continued to try and lock on.
Twilight, Celestia's voice said even gentler than before, trust me.
And with that, Twilight nodded to herself and confidently pressed the button to turn off the targeting computer.
"Her computer's off." she heard Command say. "Twilight, you switched off your targeting computer. What's wrong?"
"Nothing," answered Twilight with a suddenly easy smile. "I'm alright."
Her X-wing surged forward as she continued her breakneck pace toward the exhaust port, managing to stay low and continue to swerve side-to-side to evade the ships behind her. Each breath was easier than the last as she remained vigilant, waiting for her moment.
Joanes couldn't get a lock, but he'd be damned if this being singlehandedly took down this entire station.
Because of that, when he had even the slightest lock on the ship, he fired.
Twilight felt the bolts connect, followed by R2's shrill wail.
"R2!" Twilight exclaimed over the mic. "I've lost R2!"
"The Valkyrie has cleared the planet!" Command relayed, only adding to the punch Twilight felt she had just taken.
"Rebel base, in range. came the call.
Drogun smiled. "You may fire when ready."
"Commence primary ignition," came the call from the Ragnarok Fire Control Station, and the operators set to beginning the firing sequence.
Twilight's earlier ease had vanished as she continued to evade the TIE behind her, but she didn't know how much longer she could. She knew she would feel the moment when she was meant to fire away, but it still hadn't come! If it didn't come soon, the Valkyrie would destroy Yavin IV and the Rebel Alliance!
She swallowed as she pressed the ship even faster.
Target locked.
Joanes' smirk returned. "I have you now."
And he squeezed the trigger.
But instead of the X-wing exploding, something beside him blew up, jostling him out of his concentration.
"WHAT!?" he looked around wildly for the source of whatever had destroyed his wingman.
"YEAHOO!"
Twilight felt her breath leave her. She knew that voice!
"Look out!" Joanes' wingman said, before swerving in an attempt to avoid the blaster fire coming from the Sparrow-class ship, but his swerve caused him to nick Joanes' wing and send Joanes hurtling through space away from the Valkyrie as he collided with the ship's trench!
"You're all clear, Twi!" Jack cheered over the mic. "Now let's blow this thing and go home!"
No sooner had Jack said this than Twilight felt it.
This was the moment!
The slammed her hooves onto the Proton Torpedo Launch button, sending two orbs of light flying forward toward the exhaust port, where all of a sudden, they dipped into the ship without a single explosion.
Twilight felt herself let out a breath as she pulled clear of the trench, barely missing the end of it by inches.
"Clear the station!" she called over the mic, as whatever allies she had left flew away toward the planet.
Drogun watched the viewing screen with shaking hands. Joanes had failed, and that blasted pilot had gotten the shot off!
"Stand by," the chief operator said over the mic. "Stand by!"
"Why does he need to stand by? The weapon is primed!" Drogun growled to himself.
And then a look of horror washed over his face as he realized. The Chief Operator was buying time for the Rebels!
He turned to stare at the man, continuing to instruct the operators to stand by.
"What have you done?" he asked.
With an explosion to rival what happened when Pinkie Pie drank cola, the Valkyrie exploded behind them.
It was a beautiful sight, creating stars composed of burning metal, a planar shockwave, and a force that pushed Twilight's ship and the others that made it only slightly faster.
"GREAT SHOT, TWI! THAT WAS ONE IN A MILLION!" Jack cheered over the mic.
Twilight rested her head on the headrest behind her, feeling relief course through her. It was over. We've won!
Remember, came Celestia's voice one final time, the Force will be with you. Always.
Joanes finally righted his ship after several minutes of spinning, which had given berth to disorientation to maximum degree. That damned pilot had destroyed the Valkyrie! He or she was going to pay for this!
So caught up in his thoughts of revenge was he that he didn't notice the planar shockwave coming, and it split his ship in two, killing both him and any hopes for a sequel chapter to this one.
"So, Twilight," Jack said casually over the mic as they continued toward the forest moon. "You've just destroyed the Valkyrie, ended the USCM's reign of tyranny and guaranteed a safe future for non-humans everywhere, and met up with a friend that can take you back to your home. What are you going to do now?"
"I'm going to Disney World!" she said excitedly.
So that's exactly what she did. Two weeks later, Jack, Dash, and Twilight all found themselves chillaxing in line for Star Tours.
"Well, that was a fun adventure," said Twilight happily, her Mickey Mouse ears hat sliding down the side of her head.
"You're telling me. This is a nice vacation," Dash concurred.
"What are you on about? This is literally your first appearance in this entire fic,"Jack shook his head at her. "You don't need a vacation."
"Welp, I'm here, so who cares?" Dash smirked.
"Too true," Jack nodded, and then looked straight at the reading audience. "Hey! Buzz off! We're trying to relax, here!"
So they are. The narrator guesses this is as good a spot to end a chapter as any other.
Dedicated to Carrie Fisher
21 October 1956 - 27 December 2016
She is one with the Force, and the Force is with her.
Good-bye, Carrie.
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Oh no, protect me!
P.S.
Just would like to point out that you wrote nearly 23k words April Fools chapter for 2016 and 8k words April Fools chapter for 2017. And that there is only one non April Fools between those of also 8k words. Hmm...
8066203
Technically I didnt write the one. I copy-pasted it because I would never write something that awful.
Also, it's detailed in a blog post I left in my authors note. Basically, it boils down to work sucking the day away from me leaving me with much less time to write.
7124731
What did this guy smoke?
8524708
I didn't smoke, I copy-pasted My Immortal.
I think it came out really well.