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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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ITS NOT DEAD!!! THE STORY ISNT DEAD!!!!reactiongifs.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/excited4.gif
We back!
6445819
Not everyone gets their wishes
Fluttershy wrote Twilestia porn? And managed to get it published?
(Also, Twilight's line should probably read, "I still can't believe she wrote that.")
Nice to see this back, but I felt this chapter really slowed down when it's just describing The Baron's state, and what Shane is doing to fix him. It doesn't really feel like it's adding anything to the story (if you're not super into superlights) and just made me want to skip ahead until something interesting happened.
I enjoyed Shane interacting with Twilight though, very sweet and just felt like they had a normal everyday conversation.
Great to see this story moving again, please keep it up.
As for typos, you have a stepp ladder, Shane plays hoste, and there's a spare quote mark as Twilight floats the engine into the plane.
So, I saw this story for the first time tonight. I was a bit reluctant to try it, but I am very glad I did. I wasn't sure what it was about, even after reading the description on the title/index page.
I am curious to know a bit more about the Baron. There were a couple of specific questions I had from reading.
Do you have photos (assuming he's based on a real-life ultralight) or drawings of what he looks like?
You mentioned at one point, 3/4 scale Fokker Replica. Is it safe to assume then that His name, and male gender came from being named after Baron von Richthofen?
I know that Baron isn't really the point of this story, but since you wrote him as a character, I've become really curious about him.
Nerdier moment aside, this story deserves all the attention it can get. Congrats on being featured.
6446072
>Implying adding Japanese to something doesn't automatically make it worthless.
You shouldn't hope for that, there's enough edgy badfics on the internet to begin with.
im very glade this chapter was posted so late i just finish with a family emergency and need to take my mind off it. So thank you
6446170
All these and "jostle" is spelled with a J. Really fantastic chapter, however!
Oh, sorry, missed another one: Shane's mind clicked into its trance, not it's. Oh, and I don't know if it's an Americanism, but in the UK it's torque, not tork.
6446311
Nah, it's not an americanism as far as I'm aware. I think it's just spelled incorrectly.
6446265
Nani yo? Excuse me? I must have misheard (misread?) you, because you did not just diss my second-favorite culture (after my own, of course).
6446414
I tend to diss peoples who name their children "bitches."
I mean, how can you take "Suki" seriously as a person? The only way you might be worse off is being "Suka" or heaven forbid, "Shlyukha."
I quite like it. Nothing more to say.
6446081
Yeah, I wasn't super happy with the pacing there. Probably should have worked in some humor bits into it.
6446231
Airdrome
I really want one of their kits.
I did not even know that thing was a fokker.... please say it has guns on it! PLEASE SAY IT HAS GUNS ON IT!!!!!!!!
YAY IT'S BACK! I just re-read the whole story and I do not regret one bit of it
6447294
That comment is less than one day old... as in six and a half hours less.
It doesn't. Nor did it ten hours ago when I first saw it... and it was only seven hours old.
They... got their hopes up for an Asian themed pony story and were disappointed when those hopes were dashed? Like every person who ever got their hopes up for something and didn't get it? Their comment was pretty clear, I'm not sure why you don't know what their problem is when they stated it so clearly.
... Their grammar isn't that bad. Certainly no worse than yours. Or are you saying that getting disappointed is 'fucking up'? Or perhaps you mean confusing "House of the Rising Sun" as being related to Japan? The "Land of the Rising Sun"? Sometimes called the "Empire of the Rising Sun"? Something that is actually more well known than 'house of the rising sun' as a euphemism for a brothel? Especially to anyone who has played Red Alert... or the WW2 board game "Empire of the Rising Sun". A board game taking place in the Pacific where the 'Empire' in question is Japan?
Not much sex for a story about being a whore ,,,,,,
6446081 I dunno. I know next to nothing about light aircraft myself but I had no problem with this chapter. It's okay with me if a story occasionally pauses on something the main character(s) find important, even if I may not have a specific interest in it myself.
Let's just not turn it into the literary version of a Coleman Francis film.
6448356
I'm not saying that a story can't move off on tangents or slow the pace a bit, just that when they do, they need to serve a purpose, they need to serve the story. There were parts of the scene where he's surveying the damage and fixing The Baron that did serve the story, but most of it just came across as filler, and here's my thinking.
When a story slows down to showcase something that is important to the main character, it should tell us something we didn't know about the character, or give us insight into who they are, their motivations and core memories or beliefs. In this way these interludes can serve the story by making the main characters more relatable, understandable, or to reveal a side of them that we may not otherwise see.
We do get a bit of this in the scene where he's going over The Baron, but these little moments, rather than being showcased, end up getting lost in the minutiae of descriptions of The Baron's state. Take for example when Shane is removing Baron's torn skin; he remembers putting the skin on when first building The Baron, but what could have been a great opportunity to flesh out what was obviously an important moment to Shane simply gets shuffled along as we get instead descriptions of the frame and the damage done to it.
As another example, we have Shane finding his phone and the music & photos that are bound to stir up some pretty hefty emotions (I still hold out hope for some really moving moments with these later once Twilight recreates them for him), but it's buried under the surrounding bits of him checking out the engine and the interior of the plane and even a list of everything he found in his backpack. The best we get is just a quick comment on how he probably doesn't have a life to go back to anymore anyway (dear lord the emotional depths that could have been plunged with that one thought alone) but it too gets moved quickly along so that we can get more description of supplies.
I'm not trying to be mean-spirited here; Rocinante knows I enjoy this story and I've even edited quite a few of its chapters (though I had no idea this one was coming until it popped up on my feed) I just feel like this scene could have been used to far greater effect than what we got. What should have been a showcase of Shane's core memories involving The Baron and his links to his old life, instead came off as a showcase of Rocinante's knowledge of superlight planes.
While a story obviously doesn't have to keep a breakneck pace, every part should serve a purpose. Every piece of it, every scrap of description, should serve the plot, the characters, or the world (as in worldbuilding), and it's hard to feel that the middle of this chapter didn't serve those and that's why it lost me during those sections.
6447980 Hey, this is Internet world.
6449477 Do you mean 'full fat milk' then?
6446720
Nifty! Thanks.
Wow, its only a 3/4? Those things are damn tiny! Even smaller than my Cherokee!
6463803
Well, It's a one-person ultralight. The Cherokee first 4.
How do you like your Cherokee? They're on of the planes in my budget. Once I finish my PPL, I want a weekend-trip plane than can get me and a few friends to the beach, on as little fuel as possible. I really want a Cozy IV, but I just don't know if I'll ever have the time to build one.
6464196
Cherokees are fun, but theyre kinda like bumblebees: they buzz a lot but don't get anywhere quickly; but its not a bad plane. It might also help that its a Cadet, lol (everything useful ripped out). It floats a lot, but not as much as a 172. A guy I knew once got it about 3500 down the runway by ripping the flaps while in ground effect. Fun stuff.. I've been flying a Seminole recently, and I'm much happier with it, but its sooo much more expensive. Id go with an Arrow if you get the chance/have the budget.
My only objection to this story is that after the next chapter I'll have to wait. A piddling concern to be sure.
Tea and conversation. Equestria's netflix and chill.
Just to be clear...Fokker is a tri-plane right? The one red baron used?
7077586 From what I know, Fokker is a plane manufacturer that made the triplane, biplane, and monoplane. Don't know much else. Hope it helps.
7394767
Focke produced many of the best aircraft in Germany over the two world wars including the Focke Wulf 190.
Dropped. I could deal with the unrelatable MC, but when you had the opportunity to really get into detailled interactions about cultural differences you balked time and time again. Balking with Twilight was the last straw. Not to mention how he basically gives his tech to these evidentially primitive ponies away for free and how for some reason he thinks an unimpressive feat like flying is the only magical feat humans have achieved when there are dozens more, one example of such he chucks away as if its trash, ironically not appreciating the sophistication of the device
Fwiw, I think the last commenter is exactly wrong. Shane is highly relatable, and sharing the tech you have with the princess of another world is very smart if you are trying to build a new life in a new culture.