"This is a story about Twiddle and his bad night." Erm... It's straight to the point, but I think I can be a little more thoughtful than that. Let's start again.
"We all have been there, on the cusp of giving up on everything you've ever worked for." Err -no. I really don't want to appear preachy nor make too broad of assumptions either. It shouldn't be so obvious -it should be subtle, portraying a meaningful emotion and moral without ever actually saying it outright. Just try one more time.
"Down under the the stolid stars gazing upon the earth, beneath the smokestacks and thatch roofs, Twiddle sat at his-" no, no, no; this isn't right either. I mean, sure it is an omniscient narrator like it should, but... I don't know, it's nice but it just doesn't fit in with the feel quite right. Ugh.
Okay, focus. The summary needs to reflect the story in a brief selection, so what is this story? Oh Celestia, is it bad that I don't know?
Is this supposed to be metafiction?
It sure sounds like it.
From the description, I was expecting some sort of strange meta story following the characters in a cancelled fic.
I may have to do that now.
But still, that was interesting. I sympathized with the character, and his problems made me wonder about my own writing.
Had some word choice issues though, and a couple places didn't make sense, like so: "non sentimental of logical otherwise"
This fic hits me right where it hurts.
Thumbs up.
3989588 I wasn't trying to achieve it, but I guess it may be.
3989711 Yeah, it is. Nevertheless, I liked it.
/10
Dreaming about success while simultaneously realizing that I will never achieve said success? Sounds like my writing process alright!
A dislike!? Burn the witch!
Props for being original, author! This website needs it.
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Thank you all for the kind words. It's not just your compliments, but that you bothered to comment at all means to me a lot, no matter if it would of been critical. I feel invisible sometimes, and it is a nice change to feel noticed, regardless of why.
And thanks again, Rinnaul, for pointing out that grammatical error.
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I was tempted to answer this with a Community reference, but I dont tjink anyone would recognize it
...tock.
It changed to 'tock'.
...I'm not quite sure what the significance of that is supposed to be...
4001282 I decided to throw that in to try and tie the ending off with a bow by answering Twiddle's question from the very beginning of "where did the "tock" come from?". I thought it was appropriate. It was as simple and obvious of an answer as was the answer to why he had such difficulty writing; it was just larger clocks that "tocked". It was my way of saying that most of Twiddle's problems got their roots from him over-thinking, and he develops such a mental tunnel-vision that he can't see the obvious answer.
But that's only what I intended. I have no clue how much of this was actually conveyed. I hope this clarifies my use of the "tock" for you.
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Oooooh. Right. A different clock. That explains it.
I somehow thought he'd been writing in his room, and it had been the same clock that had changed sound; which had led to me wondering how much of the story before had been his imagination running away with him, and just how much his decision to stop writing had affected his perception of the world...
Evidently I, like Twiddle, failed to see the obvious answer.
This story hits uncomfortably close to home, which is good.
Two thumbs up.
This story hits me where it hurts. I love it.
It's like reading a punch to the gut. I have no idea if that's a good or bad thing, but it was well written all the same.
Reading this was agony, because I am this guy. Well, except for the end. So far.
Well, my heart just got ripped out and shipped to Uruguay.
7008351 Thank you. It's been a short forever since I posted this, and a bit longer since I actually wrote it. I didn't expect the sudden squirt of fresh faces. Thought the story sorta floated into a stagnant pond. I think I might just crawl out of my hibernation beneath all these empty Lunchable boxes and pull out some old stuff I've been writing I had put down a while back.