An Informal Study of Romance

by Jondor

The Ethanol-Equine Effect

In the normal course of things, so many residents of Ponyville would not have fit into the auditorium of the town hall, or if they did fit, they wouldn’t have had nearly as much room to move around as they did tonight. But it was the biggest indoor space available in the town proper and thanks to some rather complicated space warping magic courtesy of Princess Twilight Sparkle, the room was able to comfortably house the biggest party Pinkie Pie had ever hosted.

A huge dance floor and DJ booth, commanded by Vinyl Scratch herself, took up a chunk of the floor, about half the usual size of the room. Another section was dedicated to rowdy party games. A quieter corner with low lighting held a number of comfortable couches for relaxing and cuddling. And along the back wall were long, cloth draped tables covered in all sorts of food and drink, including several large barrels of Sweet Apple Acres finest aged hard cider.

“Oh my gosh, Twilight! You have to come see this, it’s hilarious!” Pinkie gleefully bounced along, head and shoulders above the crowd. Her bright pink mane was threaded with blue glowsticks as she called out over the music blasting from the magical speaker stacks. The erratic afterimage of soft blue light trailing behind Pinkie caught and held Twilight’s gaze.

One look at the pink mare told Twilight that Pinkie had visited the cider barrel more than once this evening. Each bounce sent her off in a slightly different direction, as if in a chaotic orbit around a strange attractor. Twilight had to wrench her eyes away from Pinkie’s hooves; the pink party pony had a different number of legs each time she hit the ground, and even with only one mug of cider in her own belly, the sight was making Twilight quite nauseous.

“What is it Pinkie?” The question had barely left her lips when ‘it’ came right up and hugged her. ‘It’ turned out to be Rainbow Dash. Twilight’s nose wrinkled as a strong smell of apples and ethanol assaulted her olfactory senses. If Pinkie was good friends with the cider barrel by now, Rainbow Dash had to have eloped with it.

One wing extended fully, the other folded and twitching to the beat of the music, Dash wrapped all four hooves around Twilight’s barrel and let out cooing noises like a dove while her eyes attempted to focus. A twinkle lit up her raspberry eyes as she seemed to finally recognize the pony she’d latched onto. Twilight sat, stock still and stunned, unable to look away from the bright, but slightly unfocused, eyes in front of her.

“Hehe, you should look the see on your face. You’re a laugh Spilight Twarkle.” Dash slurred and giggled before nuzzling her friend. She kept nuzzling a bit longer than was strictly considered friendly, but she let go just before reaching the embarrassingly intimate stage. Rainbow stumbled away toward her next victim, parting the crowd efficiently, but highly erratically.

Twilight, for her part, did have a rather strange mix of embarrassment and puzzlement etched across her red tinged muzzle that persisted even after Dash staggered away. She was used to friendly hugs by now, but she had never experienced such close and prolonged contact with another pony before. Her mind dwelt on the feeling of hooves wrapped around her body and soft coat and mane pressing against her face before a loud voice broke in on her musings.

“Isn’t she just the funniest drunk?!” Pinkie chortled, her variable number of hooves flailing in the air, as she rolled on the floor, giggling madly at Dash’s drunken antics.

“Are you sure we should just let her run around like that?” Twilight shook her head and frowned as she watched Dash stagger off, hugging every pony who crossed her path. It was some comfort to Twilight that Dash was saving nuzzles only for ponies she knew really well, though from the look of things, it did not comfort Rarity.

“She’s just giving out hugs. I do that all the time!” Pinkie flipped back onto her hooves, which had returned to the quite sensible number of four, and demonstrated by hugging Twilight, though more briefly than Rainbow Dash had. Twilight found herself staring into a pair of bright blue eyes for a moment, and then a draft of cool air replaced the warmth of Pinkie’s body against her own. She was surprised to find herself disappointed by the brevity of the contact.

“We can stop her if she goes too far, pinkie promise.” Before Pinkie could complete the requisite hoof motions, once again sprouting an extra hoof for the purpose, Dash’s voice, with surprisingly little slurring, rang out loud and clear over the noise of the party.

“Mmmm, Applejack. You don’t know how long I’ve wanted you.”

Twilight whipped around and trotted toward the source of the outburst.

The scene was only just shy of being public indecency. Applejack was sitting up on her haunches on one of the sofas near the dance floor. Her muzzle was a deep scarlet, while Rainbow Dash had her legs wrapped around her very similarly to the way she had hugged Twilight moments earlier. But instead of just a relatively chaste hug and a mostly friendly nuzzle, Dash’s hooves were roaming Applejack’s back and brushing her flanks, while the cyan muzzle peppered orange cheeks and neck with kisses.

Twilight was about to move forward to stop the drunken pegasus when she was checked by a pink hoof.

“Wait, Twilight, look.” Pinkie pointed to Dash’s back where Applejack had wrapped her forelegs around the athlete’s slim barrel and was returning a measure of the affection.

“It’s so hard to tell you, AJ. Every time you get near me, I go all fuzzy. Can’t think straight, can’t fly straight. You’re so hot, it’s drives me nuts. ‘Specially these.” Dash rubbed her forehooves gently over the apple cutie marks and grinned stupidly. “Hottest flank in all Equestria.”

Applejack said nothing, but simply kept her forehooves wrapped around Dash, a small smile turning the corners of her mouth up.

“I knew it! I knew Dashie had a thing for AJ!” Pinkie squealed happily. “And AJ’s got a thing back!” The entire crowd of ponies within earshot turned to watch and listen, including Pinkie and a somewhat reluctant Twilight.

“Man, if I can just get my head on straight, I’m so gonna take you out on a date.” Dash had stopped kissing Applejack while she was talking and contented herself with nuzzling against both cheeks and under her chin. “We can go out to dinner, some place casual, you know. Maybe go bowling, or we can go for a run, just the two of us all alone in the woods. Horseshoes, maybe? Something fun we both like.” Dash continued rambling on while Applejack and the crowd of ponies just listened in.

“S’long as it’s not awkward like most of my dates, but you’re too awesome to be awkward. Whatcha think?”

“S-sounds great, sugarcube.” Applejack spoke up for the first time since Dash latched onto her, but to no effect. Loud snores began to emanate from the inebriated pegasus at that precise moment as she slumped forward against her friend.

“Uhh, little help?” Applejack grimaced, looking around the crowd while Dash’s dead weight now threatened to topple her onto her back.

“I’ll help, AJ.” Twilight spoke up, stepping out of the crowd. She caught Applejack’s eye and received a smile of thanks. She was too busy to notice her heart flutter a bit. “The library is closest. Let’s take her there and put her in my guest bed.”

Pinkie started giggling madly again while Twilight rushed forward to help Applejack with their unconscious friend.

“All right, everypony! Who’s got bits to spare? I’ll give you five to one Dash actually makes good on her date plan!”

“Pinkie! Dash is drunk! No betting on anything she spilled!” Twilight groaned and buried her muzzle in her hoof. “I’m going to help AJ get Dash out of here, okay?”

“Okie-dokie-lokie!”

Twilight shot Pinkie a suspicious look before levitating Dash onto AJ’s back. The two of them trotted away, Twilight’s horn staying lit to make sure Dash stayed in place for the trip to the library. Pinkie watched them from the door frame until they rounded the nearest street corner, then turned back to the crowd.

“Okay, ponies! Get your bits ready.” Pinkie said enthusiastically, just as soon as Twilight was out of earshot. “You name your bet, I’ll name the odds.”

In seconds, Pinkie had set herself up a folding table, complete with notepad and till drawer, pulled from her usual nowhere space. She plopped down, slipping a green visor onto her head as hooves of all colors began shoving piles of bits in her direction and a cacophony of voices called out different scenarios.

---

“I hope you weren’t too embarrassed, AJ.” Twilight grimaced. She could practically still feel her own face turning beet red from what was just a friendly hug by comparison. Twilight couldn’t imagine how she would have reacted to Dash caressing her like that in front of a crowd of ponies. She actually did blush again at the thought.

“Nah, I’m alright.” Applejack replied, after a pause. “Most folks’ll prob’ly just chock it up ta Rainbow bein’ drunk an’ ferget about it inside a week. Now, if Dash remembers, she’s gonna be the one embarrassed about it.”

“I’m still really sorry.” Twilight sighed, giving a look back over her shoulder at the town hall, the spire still just visible over the row of houses lining the street. “Rainbow came up and hugged me before she made it over to you. I should have stopped her sooner.”

The two mares trotted slowly down the empty Ponyville main street, the only light provided by the sliver of moon just waxing from new, and the soft magenta glow of Twilight’s horn. Aside from their voices, the only sound in the still night were the soft snores of the unconscious pegasus on Applejack’s back.

“Don’t be sorry, sugarcube.” Applejack mumbled and tilted her head down so her signature stetson hid her reddening face. She silently cursed her honest streak and the three mugs of cider still clouding her brain.

“What?” Twilight’s voice carried a note of incredulity as she trotted a little faster to catch up and walk beside Applejack instead of slightly behind.

Applejack came to a sudden stop just outside the library door, a look of relief creeping onto her face to replace the blush. Twilight, distracted by the conversation and lack of a response, just barely managed not to crash into the wall of her tree home. Dash wobbled a bit on Applejack’s back between the suddenness of the stop and the wavering magic field, but she stayed put and went right on snoring.

“Let’s get Dash inside.” Applejack sighed. “Then we can talk, s’long as ya pinkie promise ta keep it ta yerself.”

“Alright.” Twilight’s eyes widened under the fierce emerald stare she received and she quickly mimed the promise before magicking the door open and hurrying them inside and up to the bedroom.

Twilight headed for the stairs after placing Rainbow Dash safely on her guest bed, leaving Applejack to tuck her in. Out of the corner of her eye she couldn’t help noticing Applejack stroking the rainbow mane. Her orange lips moved, producing some words too soft for Twilight’s ears to pick up, before leaning down to kiss Rainbow’s cheek. Twilight trotted downstairs all the more quickly when she caught a flash of green seeming to follow her from behind the blonde bangs.

“I said earlier not ta be sorry that ya didn’t stop Rainbow.” Applejack confessed, when they were back downstairs. She sat across the small kitchen table from Twilight, each pony sipping from a mug of tea. “That weren’t exactly the way I woulda liked ta find out about her bein’ sweet on me, but I ain’t gonna complain neither.”

“You have a crush on her too, like Pinkie said,” Twilight stated, getting straight to the point.

“Yep.” Applejack said simply, and her eyes gained a faraway look for a moment. “It’s kinda comfortin’ ta know it ain’t just me, but I can’t pretend it don’t scare me a mite, neither.”

“Scared?” Twilight scrunched her muzzle up in confusion. “What’s there to be scared about? If you both like each other, shouldn’t that make it easier? I mean, everything I’ve read about dating—” Twilight stopped abruptly as Applejack held up a hoof.

“It ain’t quite that simple, Twi.” Applejack sighed, slumping and resting her chin on the table. “Ya see, Rainbow’s been on lots of dates. Lots and lots of first dates. I know because she used ta come talk things out with me when they didn’t work out.”

“I’m sorry. That must have been rough, given how you feel.” Twilight tried to sympathize, her ears drooping.

“Y’all have no idea, sugarcube, but that ain’t even the point.” Applejack swiveled her eyes around to look directly at Twilight. “You know how many second dates she’s been on, s’far as I know?”

Twilight shook her head, looking worried.

“Four.” Applejack’s tone was completely flat. “Outta dozens and dozens of ponies, she’s been on a second date with exactly four. Them ain’t what you’d call real good odds. An’…” The corners of her eyes began to glisten as her voice cracked and broke off.

Applejack cleared her throat after a few moments. “I’m sorry, the cider’s goin’ ta my head. Twi, I’ve seen how broken up she gets over a bad date. I don’t want ta be the one ta do that ta her.”

“But you two have so much in common, and you’re already good friends. That’s got to count for something, right?” Twilight blurted out.

“I reckon so. An’ that’s the reason I don’t just give up. I got some hope; I think we can make it work if we just get past the first date an’ have a good run on the second, but that don’t mean I ain’t still a mite scared.”

“I’m sure you have a good shot. I know Pinkie and I will support you, I bet Rarity and Fluttershy will too.” Twilight reached out to put a consoling hoof on Applejack’s shoulder and finally got a small smile out of her.

“Thanks, Twi. Thanks ta all you gals.”

Both ponies sat in silence for a short while before Twilight realized her hoof was still on Applejack’s shoulder. She felt the blood rising to her cheeks again and quickly withdrew it, searching for a distraction.

“So, are you going to ask her out? Do you need any help coming up with ideas? I’m sure I have a book or two that will help.”

“Slow up there, sugarcube.” Applejack chuckled, sitting back up. “Dash is a real ‘go get it’ kinda gal. I’m gonna give her a chance ta make the first move. Ya prob’ly heard all that stuff she said about wantin’ ta take me out, an’ all them date ideas.”

“I also remember her saying how hard it is for her to tell you.”

“I’m still gonna give her that chance. It’ll prob’ly make things go easier. But if’n she ain’t made a move by the time I figure somethin’ out, I’ll ta—” Applejack stifled a yawn. “take matters into my own hooves.”

Applejack gave her head a little shake and rubbed her eyes as she yawned again. “I guess it can’t hurt ta gather some ideas while I wait, but in the meantime, I’d better get back to the Acres tonight and get me some shut eye.”

“Are you sure? You can stay here if you don’t want to walk home.”

“Nah. If’n Dash does remember anythin’, it’d be all kinds of awkward an’ prob’ly mess everything up. ‘Sides, I can get home just fine.” Applejack blinked, forcing her eyes open as she stood up and walked around the table to give Twilight a goodbye nuzzle. “Thanks fer the tea and especially fer helpin’ with Rainbow.”

Twilight felt her face heat up for what felt like the hundredth time that night and instinctively moved to turn the nuzzle into a hug. She held the hug firmly, a bit longer than she usually would, but Applejack didn’t seem to pay the discrepancy any mind, simply wrapping her own hooves pleasantly around the alicorn. When they broke apart, Twilight’s face was still a bit flushed, but Applejack’s showed no sign that anything was out of the ordinary.

“Night, Twi.” Applejack tipped her hat and trotted toward the door.

“Good night, Applejack. Sleep well.”

Twilight climbed the stairs back to her bedroom and stepped in as silently as possible. Her gaze lingered over the pegasus snoring away in her spare bed, her thoughts a jumbled mess. Vague images of ponies hugging, and eyes of different colors swam in her head, while the cider in her stomach made her eyelids droop as she curled up in bed.

Comments

[Whiskey Drops]

.....Now it all adds up x3...I love it when things tie together.

[Swiftest]

Well, this seems off to a good start. Sure there were some part that irked me a bit (such as you using nauseous instead of nauseated), but it shouldn't matter all that much.

[TheAuraGuardian]

I'm ba-ack!...

Not even gonna say it...
F*ck it.
*gets ready to speak*
Prisma (my gf): NO *smacks me across the face with a pillow*