• Published 8th Jan 2014
  • 4,947 Views, 174 Comments

Lost Little Snake - The card holder



Naked Snake escapes from captivity in Groznyj Grad, only to find out that he's not quite in Russia anymore.

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Castle Crasher

After returning to his camp and resting for the night, Snake decided to try and find anything else that was notable in or around the forest. The town was to the west, so that was out, leaving three other directions he could go.

After finishing off a hunk of alligator for breakfast, he destroyed what little of a camp he made and began walking southeast, hoping to run into anything at all, really. He knew the river he first arrived in was some distance to the north, though he hadn't run into it since his arrival.

The search was uneventful, so Snake instead used the time to think over his situation. Seemingly trapped in a new world, completely different from his own, with creatures that resembled horses, yet were just as intelligent as humans, from what he had seen. His radio was useless, now, though he still kept it on in the slim hope that he'd be contacted.

Still, if nothing else, at least this world didn't seem to have vam- them, so already that was a plus.

Soon, the trees began to thin out, and Snake arrived at the edge of a chasm. A rickety-looking bridge spanned the gap, but it still looked stable enough to get him across, even if just barely.

Exercising caution, he carefully stepped onto the wood, getting a groan in response. Slowly but surely, he worked his way to the end of the bridge, somewhat grateful to be back on solid ground. Looking ahead, Snake spotted a rather imposing castle not too far away. Now with a solid destination, he readied his pistol and headed towards it, ready for any surprises.

As he came up to the door, he took in all the details of the aged fortress. The walls were certainly old, but still held firm, and the wood that made up the door also looked aged, but somewhat more recent. A few towers could be seen rising above the rest of the castle, and even in the morning sunlight, the place seemed to hold a certain sense of foreboding around it.

Cautiously, Snake nudged open the door with the barrel of his gun, getting a low creak in response. Once it was open enough, he slipped inside, and looked around. The roof was caved in here and there, allowing enough sunlight in to see.

Oddly, where Snake expected rubble to be haphazardly spread on the floor, it was instead piled neatly off to the side, out of the way. There were also some curtains strung up among the columns, and they looked to have been put up very recently.

Trying not to make any noise, he crept to a nearby staircase, his eye scanning over anything that could potentially hide a threat. Finding none, he picked up his pace a bit as he ascended the staircase, glancing outside every once in a while.

At the top, a hallway stretched about twenty yards ahead, a number of doors located on the walls.

Snake carefully opened each one, finding only an empty room, until one door in particular brought results. Inside looked to be a decent sized library, with bookcases reaching at least seven feet high. Notably, a couple of pillows were placed in the middle of the floor, and judging by the stack of books next to them, they were used very recently.

Suddenly, Snake could hear the entrance door creak again, this time much more quickly and loudly. He sprinted back over to the stairs and did his best to listen.

"How much longer do we hafta keep comin' here?" a female voice with a southern US accent asked.

"Just until we get the place fixed up, Applejack," a new voice answered, also female, this one sounding a bit regal, though not much.

"I still don't think you really need a castle of your own," a third voice remarked. Startled, Snake recognized it as the voice of that blue horse he interrogated yesterday.

"Well, Rainbow Dash, I, for one, think that it certainly has some charm to it," another voice added, this one sounding rather refined.

"Yeah! And besides, think of all the parties we can throw here!" a fifth, hyperactive voice said.

As they all started talking, Snake thought over a possible plan. He knew he'd have to get out of there, but they'd see him if he took the staircase down, and he didn't see any holes he could crawl through up here. Maybe if he-

"Uh, girls? Do you smell something... burning?" Kinda-regal voice asked, halting all conversation.

Confused, Snake glanced down, only to see that he had lit a cigar out of habit. Cursing softly, he quickly put it out before hearing steps coming up the stairs. In need of a plan, he quickly yet softly jogged over to one of the empty rooms near the back of the hall, which held a few boxes of no interest. Still, they gave him an idea...


Twilight and her friends walked up the stairs, curious about what that burning smell was. It didn't smell very strong, so the library being ablaze wasn't possible, and they didn't see any smoke coming in, so that was out, too.

When they arrived at the top of the stairs, there wasn't a single thing that looked out of place. Even the smell itself seemed to have gone away.

This didn't stop Twilight from being suspicious. "I think somepony's up here," she said quietly to the others.

"Well of course, silly!" Pinkie said. "We're up here!"

Twilight let out an exasperated sigh. "No, I mean somepony else."

"Maybe it's just an animal?" Fluttershy quietly suggested from the back, subconsciously scratching a spot on her head.

"Whatever it is, we should probably find it," Applejack suggested. With this goal in mind, the six of them searched through the rooms, looking for anything out of the ordinary. All of the vacant rooms were still empty, and the library was fine, leaving the room they were using as storage the only one left unchecked. Rainbow Dash cracked open the door and peered inside, but only saw all the boxes that were there last time they were there. Shrugging, she closed the door and reported back to her friends.

"I got nothin'," she told them.

"Maybe it was just our imagination, Twi'," Applejack offered.

"I don't know, I could've sworn-"

"Look, Twilight," Rarity began, "it's obvious you're stressed out from becoming a princess and having your own castle. Just relax, read a good book, maybe. We'll handle making the place more presentable for you."

Twilight smiled. "Thanks, girls. I don't know what I'd do without you."

At that, the six shared a hug together, before Twilight headed into the library, and the others split up to continue work on making the castle not look so run down.


Snake let out the breath he was holding. Thankfully, no one ever suspected the cardboard box, especially alongside other boxes. He'd have to remember to try and contain his habit, since it seems like those horses have a better sense of smell than humans.

After a couple of the horses entered the storage room and picked up a couple of other boxes, Snake decided to take action. Waiting a few minutes to make sure the coast was clear, he stood up and quickly folded the box into a more compact size before putting it back in his backpack, followed by quickly switching his uniform and face paint to something to blend into the dull blue of the castle interior better.

Once that was done, he carefully slid up to the door and cracked it open just enough to peek through. The hallway was clear, so he slipped out of the door, taking care to close it silently. After that, he stalked down the hall, keeping his eye peeled for any movement, and listening closely for any noises.

Coming up to the library door, he glanced inside, seeing a purple horse sitting on one of the pillows and reading a book. Strangely, this one had both wings and a horn. Said horn was also glowing a light purple, and the book was floating in the air, also glowing purple. He gaped at the display, but quickly ducked back into the hall. After all he's seen, magic doesn't seem to far out there, though it could possibly hinder his escape.

Deciding to worry about that later, Snake continued down the hall, hearing a bit of movement downstairs. Hopefully, they'll be too busy to notice him slip outside.

Creeping down the stairs, he soon was able to view the main hall without being easily spotted. Five other horses were going about, adjusting this or that, moving rubble or putting up various decorations. Notably, not only were those two winged horses here, but there was also a white one with purple hair who had just a horn, and the remaining two, an orange one with yellow hair and a cowboy hat and a pink one with also pink hair, both of which had neither horn nor wings. Curious.

Snake looked between the horses and the exit. There were a couple of pillars between the door and his location, but there was a decently long stretch of no cover between them. He'd have to not only move quietly, but quickly, while they weren't looking. The door was a bit of an issue, but hopefully if he gets that far he'll be home free, anyway.

He looked back at the horses, who seemed to be busy helping the orange one lift a large piece of the roof. Seeing his chance, he moved as fast as he could while still making no noise, making it behind the first pillar just as they looked back. So far, so good.

Chancing a peek at the horses again, he saw that they were now focused on their own things, and a couple of them were looking in his direction. He'd have to wait for another chance.

That chance soon presented itself. "Hey, can somepony help me out, here?" the blue one asked, trying to Attach a curtain to a pair of pillars. Once the others went to help her, Snake started moving again, then took cover behind the next pillar. Once there, he looked back to see that the horses were still busy with the curtain. Grinning, he glanced over to the door, planning his final step for escape.

Well, better go for broke. Looking back one last time to make sure the horses were still busy, Snake moved to the door, slightly faster that he had been moving before, and therefore slightly louder. He was within reach now, just quickly open it and-

"Hey, what's that?"

Snake quickly pressed against the wall and froze at the sound of the pink horse's voice. He looked back, hoping that she was talking about something else, but found that all of them were now staring at him.

Caught, he quickly assumed his CQC stance, ready for anything. However, the horses just looked at him while walking forwards slowly, confusion evident on their faces, along with some fear.

"Uh... what is it?" the orange one asked, tilting her head.

"It looks like some sort of animal," the white one remarked.

At the mention of the word 'animal', the yellow one was front and center. "Oh, I've never seen an animal like this before..." She began walking forward, and Snake tensed up, aiming his gun at her. "It's okay," the horse continued, talking as if he was a mindless beast. "We won't hurt you."

"And how do I know that?" Snake asked, drawing a gasp from the others. "So it talks..." orange commented.

The blue one, meanwhile, had a flash of recognition in her eyes, followed by anger. Before the others could say anything, she was flying towards the human, hooves poised for attack. Snake reacted quickly, though, and sidestepped the attack while also bringing an elbow upwards. The maneuver worked, and the blue horse was elbowed in the stomach, both bringing her to a halt and knocking the breath out of her. Before she could get her bearings, he brought her down to the ground, slamming her painfully, but not enough to knock her out.

Both hands free again, Snake brought his pistol up and aimed at the others, who all wore shocked expressions, and held his knife in front of the downed horse's neck, to discourage her from trying anything.

The tense standoff continued for a few more seconds, before steps could be heard on the nearby stairs. "Hey, girls, why is it suddenly so quiet down-"

The purple horse froze as she saw the situation, and Snake shifted his aim over to the newcomer. "Just what is going on here?!"

Snake observed his surroundings. The door was still behind him, so if he was fast he'd be able to slip out. He'd need a distraction of some sort, though...

Suddenly, he felt his gun getting tugged, and he looked to find it, along with his hand, covered in a purple glow. The purple horse's horn was coated in a similar glow. Frowning, Snake tried to fight against it, and ended up pulling the trigger. However, his aim was pulled off by the purple horse, so instead of hitting her the tranquilizer dart hit the orange one in the neck. She looked at it, worry evident in her eyes, though that soon gave way to fatigue as the dart emptied its contents into her bloodstream.

All of the others were now looking at their unconscious friend, giving him the distraction he needed. Without wasting any time, he started sprinting for the door, no doubt bringing their attention to himself. However, just as he was reaching to open it, he found his hand covered in that same purple glow as before. Grunting, he used his other hand to aim his pistol, trying to rest the sights on the purple horse. However, that purple glow soon took over his gun hand again, and it was wrenched from his grip.

Undeterred, Snake drew his M1911, aiming it at the purple horse, who was levitating the tranq pistol over to her. "I'd give that back if I were you," Snake warned.

"And why is that?" she asked, shifting her attention from the gun to the human.

"Because the one I have now is a bit more lethal." Snake honestly had no idea if this was a good idea, but threats haven't let him down before.

Frowning, the purple horse set the gun down. "There's no need for violence."

"Tell that to your blue friend over there," Snake responded, motioning over to said blue horse, who was being held back by the pink one.

The purple horse looked between her friends and the human, before letting out an exasperated sigh. "Alright, look, we don't want to hurt you. So, you think you can just put the weapons down, and we can discuss this peacefully?"

Snake thought over this. Here he was, in an alien world, populated by small, colorful horses, and they wanted to discuss things peacefully. He thought it over. Back home, if he even thought about discussing with the enemy, he'd be branded a traitor alongside the Boss. But here, probably worlds away from his own, it was a whole different situation.

How would pony society react to him? The ones here acted like he was an animal at first, and if these horses are like the ones back home, he'd probably be shunned, if not outright exiled or attacked, for his carnivorous ways.

Still, if they had magic, it'd probably be in his best interests to play nice, in case they could help send him home...

As he was thinking to himself, the purple horse looked uneasily between Snake and her friends. "Well, what do you say?"

Broken out of his thoughts by her words, Snake came to a decision. "Alright, I'll play along." He held his hands up, still clutching his equipment, in the universal gesture for 'I'm friendly now'. He then holstered his pistol and knife, and once the purple horse saw that his hostility was gone, she let out a sigh of relief.

Snake walked towards her, and she stiffened slightly out of fear, but instead of going for her, he picked up his stolen weapon.

"Hey, what about Applejack?" the blue horse asked, motioning to the sleeping orange horse.

"She'll be fine in a few minutes," Snake explained. "These tranquilizers are strong enough to be instant, but weak enough to only last for a bit."

Seemingly relieved by this, the other horses started coming a bit closer to Snake, taking in more of his appearance. As they did this, purple started talking again.

"Do you have a name, by chance?" She also offered her hoof in what appeared to be a handshake.

Snake stood silently for a second, thinking some more, then shook the outstretched hoof. "Snake."

Author's Note:

Because apparently the idea of magic being that overpowered is a bit too much for you people.