• Published 8th Jan 2014
  • 4,946 Views, 174 Comments

Lost Little Snake - The card holder



Naked Snake escapes from captivity in Groznyj Grad, only to find out that he's not quite in Russia anymore.

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The Arrival

Snake pushed onward through the knee-high water, ignoring the images of dead soldiers that he passed. He knew he was the cause of their death, but he didn't quite know why he was being shown this. Hell, he didn't even know if any of this was real.

Up ahead, the ghostly figure of the dead Cobra unit member known as The Sorrow floated about, presenting to Snake who he had killed while on his mission. Snake ignored him, too. He had just managed to escape from the Russian research base/stronghold known as Groznyj Grad after being captured, and he definitely wasn't going to be caught again, lest he lose the other eye. That Volgin was a pure psychopath, pure and simple.

Despite his capture, one could argue that it wasn't really Snake's fault. How was he supposed to know that not only were Raikov and Volgin lovers, but that the latter often got very touchy-feely with the former?

As he was thinking about this, he noticed something farther up the river. It was yet another ghostly image, this one showing a crumpled skeleton wearing a soldier's outfit. Come to think of it, that skeleton looked somewhat familiar...

Before Snake could connect the dots, he felt the life drain out of him suddenly, and he fell over into the water, quickly being swept away by the current.


His hearing was the first thing to recover. Around him, Snake could hear the muffled sounds of rushing water.

Next was his sense of touch. All he could feel was water all around him.

After that, everything else came rushing back, including the fact that he was underwater.

Springing to life, he began swimming to the surface as fast as he could, his lungs burning for air. It wasn't long before he broke the surface and started gulping down much needed oxygen. Shortly after, he made his way to the riverbank, where he pulled himself up and simply laid there for a while, catching his breath. After making sure he didn't have anymore injuries, he got up into a kneeling position and keyed in his chest-mounted radio. "Major, are you there?" he asked.

Nothing but static in response. Grumbling, he turned to another frequency. "Para-Medic?"

Again, static. Frustrated, Snake tried every frequency he could, every time getting no response. Cursing, he got to his feet, looking around.

It was then that he noticed the fact that the trees looked... different. They looked less like the Russian jungle he was in, and more like an American forest. While this was unnerving, Snake forced himself to overlook it. Wherever he was, he couldn't use his radio, which meant that he was basically flying blind.

His stomach rumbled, reminding him of his hunger. First thing's first; he needed some food.

Readying the fork he had taken to using as a makeshift weapon during his prison break, Snake got into a lowered stance, searching nearby for anything that looked edible. However, instead of food, his remaining eye found something square-shaped sticking out of the bushes. Curious, he crept toward it, before recognizing it as his equipment backpack.

Confused, he whirled around with the revolver his former mentor, The Boss, "gifted" to him while he was captured. Seeing no hostiles, or any evidence this was a trap, he went ahead and grabbed the backpack. Satisfied that no strings were pulled, he opened it up to find that all his old gear was inside, plus an eye patch.

After outfitting and reequipping himself, Snake took another look around the area. EVA said that she would give back his stuff in a cave behind a waterfall, farther up the river. So why did he find his stuff just sitting out in the open? Did something happen to her? She couldn't be reached on his radio, but then again neither could anyone else. Just where exactly was he?

After forcing himself to eat a couple of Russian rations, Snake got back to his feet, adopting his usual CQC stance, using both a knife and the M1911 pistol that EVA gave him.

"Time to do some reconnaissance," he said to himself, before walking deeper into the forest.


Three days.

It had been about three days since Snake pulled himself out of that river, and he still hadn't found any clues as to where he was. Not once had he run into any notable landmarks, nor any other humans. The only living things he had encountered were the animals.

And a lot of the animals he did see were completely unusual, bordering on nonsensical. A lion with bat wings and a scorpion tail, a snake with the head of a chicken, wolves made out of wood... Para-Medic would have a field day with this.

As odd as they were, they were still plenty edible (save for the wolves, who instead made good firewood). Snake also made sure not to waste his bullets unless he was forced to, since his supplies were limited. There was also the fact that if he didn't find out just where the hell he was, the Cold War could potentially erupt into a burning hot one. Although something told him that this wasn't quite the world he called home...

As he was finishing off a snake he had roasted over a campfire, he noticed suddenly that he saw something awfully colorful fly overhead. Thinking that it could potentially be an enemy of some sort (or failing that, a potential break from snake meat), he quickly put out the fire and dove into the bushes, taking the roasting food with him. Snake watched as the thing came back, noticeably slower this time, as well as lower.

Of all the things that he was expecting, a winged, blue horse with rainbow-colored hair was not anywhere close to the top of Snake's list. As he watched in shock, the horse looked at where the campfire used to be with confusion, before apparently shrugging and flying back into the sky. Snake watched it leave as long as he could, his single eye almost falling out from how wide it was.

He certainly wasn't in Russia anymore.


Rainbow Dash touched down next to her friend. "Well? Did you find him?" Fluttershy asked worriedly, only getting Dash's shaking head in answer.

"I doubt I could find a single snake just flying above the forest, anyway," she said.

"Oh, then maybe we should walk through there," Fluttershy offered, looking at a nearby snake that looked sad, despite the fact that their faces hardly ever change. "Poor Stanley was supposed to see his brother yesterday, and he'd be devastated if we didn't try to find him."

Dash sighed. "Fine, we can go find that snake, I guess."

Fluttershy let out a small squeak as she smiled, leading her grumbling friend into the woods. Behind them, Stanley waved his tail at them, his face not looking any different from the way it did before.


Cautiously, Snake crawled through the grass in the direction he saw the horse thing go. While he was shocked beyond belief to see such a thing, he knew that it'd be better off if he followed it. He might be able to finally figure out just where he was, now.

Up ahead, he began to hear voices, so he stopped dead in his tracks.

"Are you sure he's around here? He could be anywhere!" a slightly raspy female voice said, in English, no less.

"Oh, but what if he's hurt?" another voice answered the first, also female, and a lot softer. "Or lost? Or even-"

"I'm pretty sure he could take care of himself, Flutters."

Snake stiffened slightly. Were they talking about him?

A bush not too far ahead began to rustle, and the blue horse he saw earlier emerged, hovering slightly above the ground. Right behind it was another winged horse, this one yellow with pink hair.

Snake's eye widened again. There's no way these two were the ones talking, right?

"Look, Fluttershy, you're my friend and all, but we can't keep running into the forest every time one of your animals is 'lost'," the blue horse said, proving itself to be the owner of the raspy voice.

The yellow one, Fluttershy, if he understood correctly, shook her head. "Oh, I know he's around there somewhere. Stanley will be so sad if we can't find his brother."

Well, at least they weren't talking about him. Still, this seemed like his best bet for info, although he didn't want to hurt them, lest that come to bite him in the ass later. With this in mind, he replaced his M1911 with his suppressed MK12 "Hushpuppy" tranquilizer pistol. Once both horses were facing away from him, he very slowly rose to a kneel, adopting his stance. He crept forward at an agonizing pace, doing his best to remain silent, which seemed to be working, as both of the horses were oblivious to his presence.

"Look, maybe we should go back for now," the blue one said, beginning to turn around. Seeing that he was about to be discovered, Snake abandoned the quiet approach and ran forward the two steps needed to clear the distance between them, before grabbing the blue horse in a CQC hold, slightly modified to deal with an equine form. The yellow one whirled around to investigate the noise, only to be answered by a dart flying into her forehead, causing her to pass out a second later.

In his grip, the blue horse struggled, but made no progress towards freedom, or even seeing who had a hold on her. "Hey! What's the big idea?! What did you do to-"

"Quiet!" Snake moved his knife closer to her throat, causing her to stop struggling, while at the same time quickly rechambering his pistol. "You're gonna tell me just where exactly I am, understood?"

The horse nodded in agreement. Snake moved the knife away slightly, before pointing it straight at her throat. "Talk."

"Y- You're in the Everfree Forest," she said, defiance still present in her voice, along with a bit of fear. "It's right next to Ponyville."

"Ponyville..." Snake loosened his grip slightly in thought, before resuming the interrogation. "And just where is that? What country are we in?"

The horse grunted at the reapplied pressure. "E- Equestria!"

Snake grunted in response. "Looks like I'm farther from home than I thought..." Turning back to his captive, he suddenly shoved her forward, surprising her. Before she could turn around and face him, a dart hit her in the side of the head, making her suddenly feel woozy, followed by unconsciousness.

Once her body hit the ground, Snake assessed the situation. From the looks of things, he wasn't even on Earth anymore, judging by the fact that here, the most intelligent creatures were horses. Winged horses, as a matter of fact. He looked at both of them, darts sticking out of their sleeping forms, and had a small thought. "Wonder how they taste..." he whispered to himself.

Just as quickly as the thought came, he shook it off. A good rule of thumb was to not eat anything you could hold a conversation with. Plus, it would more than likely sour any first contact to be had.

Snake looked around. Despite this, he couldn't just leave them alone out here, where who knows what could prey on them. With this in mind, he hefted the yellow one over his shoulder, while using his other arm to carry the blue one.

After a few minutes of walking, he finally came to the edge of the forest he was trapped in for three days. Not only had he found a way out, but there was a town not too far in the distance, which meant civilization.

However, Snake felt it would be better to avoid contact, for now. Making sure no one was looking, he set both of the horses down on the grass, before returning to the forest. He looked back, wondering just how he was going to get out of this problem...

Well, for now, it would be best to simply stay hidden. After all, that's what snakes are known for, right?

Author's Note:

Ever have one of those ideas that just won't go away until you make something of it?
Yeah, this is one of those things.
I'm sorry