• Published 6th Jan 2014
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The SweetieMash Chronicles - Justice3442



The Cutie Mark Crusaders decide they need to expand their numbers, but things quickly go awry when their first target begins sobbing on the spot. Sweetie Belle soon finds herself roped into hanging out with the young colt.

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Chapter 18: Land of Pizza and Nightmares

The SweetieMash Chronicles

Chapter 18: Land of Pizza and Nightmares


“Button, sweetie?” Love Tap called down blue carpeted hallway. “Could you come downstairs?”

“Are all the zombies dead… again?” Button asked.

“Yes, sweetie!” Love Tap replied sweetly.

The sound of small hooves quickly making their way down stairs quickly changed to the sound of hooves galloping against carpet. In a flash, Button Mash appeared in the doorway of the kitchen.

“So,” Button began, “what are we having for din…” Button Mash trailed off as he took note of the three fillies standing in the kitchen. His happy expression dropped to a somewhat befuddled one as he greeted each one. “Uh.... Hi, Apple Bloom. Hi, Sweetie Belle… Hi… uh… Scootaloo…”

“Hiya, Button!” Apple Bloom said cheerfully.

“Hi, Button…” Sweetie Belle said somewhat sheepishly.

“Yo,” Scootaloo said simply.

“Button, sweetie?” Love Tap said. “The girls are going to talk to you about… something… While I go… and…” Love Tap paused and looked about the kitchen. She pointed at the unmarked carrot that still sat on the chopping board. “… While I go and take that carrot… up to my bedroom… for… reasons… Food reasons.”

Uh… okay mom…” Button said in an unsure tone.

“… You know… because carrots are edible…”Love Tap added.

“I know, mom…” Button said.

“Good,” Love Tap said with a nod. She trotted over to the carrot and grabbed it gently with her mouth before leaving the kitchen.

With Love Tap out of the room, the four foals simply stared at each other awkwardly for a bit.

Sweetie Belle spoke up, “We’ll just leave you two alone…”

Button shot Sweetie Belle a somewhat hopeful expression. “You mean Scootaloo and Apple Bloom?”

Huh? No!” Sweetie Belle said. “You and Scootaloo.”

Oh… Okay then…” Button said in a disappointed tone.

“Well, we’ll just be going now!” Sweetie Belle said before she turned and walked towards the window. “You know… Apple Bloom and I!”

Uh… Sweetie Belle?” Button said. “The door is this way.”

“Oh, I know!” Sweetie Belle said as she pushed open the window before suddenly jumping out.

EEEEK—OOFFF!”

Button stared out the window and blinked a few times. “I… uh… alright…”

“I’m okay!” Sweetie Belle shouted from outside.

Apple Bloom looked from Scootaloo to Button Mash, then towards the window and sighed. “Ah guess I’ll just jump out the window too, then…” Apple Bloom trotted over to the window looked out of it briefly, then carefully crawled out. She dangled over the side briefly then let herself drop. “OOFF!

Button and Scootaloo stared out the window briefly before returning their gazes to each other.

Oh… Hey, Button…” Scootaloo said.

“Hi, Scootaloo…” Button said. “Uh… We did this part…”

Uh… Right!” Scootaloo said. She glanced behind her at the window. “Would you excuse me? I need to… stick my head out the window… because…. because the air is slightly fresher… outside.”

Uh… Sure…” Button said.

Scootaloo trotted over to the window and stuck her head over the side. “Okay… What do I do now?!”

“Ask him on a date!” Sweetie Belle said in what sounded to be a hushed exclamation.

“Okay, but how do I do that?!” Scootaloo replied.

“Just say ‘Button, would you like to go on a date with me?’”

Button’s ears perked up. “Was that Sweetie Belle? Did she just say—?”

Scootaloo perked her head up, interrupted. “Button, would you like to go with on a date with me?”

“Yeah, that!” Button said with a smile.

“No, I mean…” Scootaloo pointed to herself. “Button, would you like to go on a date with me?”

Button’s smile dropped. “Oh… Uh… I’m… er… Maybe…?

Scootaloo scrunched her lips up to one side of her mouth. “Uh… No pressure or anything… I thought… I just thought we could maybe hang out… Eat some food… play some games… that’s all…” Scootaloo began to dig idly at the kitchen carpet with a forehoof.

Button stared up slightly as he considered this. “Well… I do like food… and games…”

“Then it’s a date!” Scootaloo said.

“It is?” Button asked.

Uh… sure?” Scootaloo said. “The important thing is that we leave this room and do… something… Something that gets us out of here… and away from how weird this is…”

“I…” Button trailed off. “Okay… That makes a lot of sense… Let’s go!”

Sweetie Belle tilted her head back down to a level position as she stood underneath the open kitchen window. She giggled to herself and rubbed her hooves together. “Perfect! Things are off to a great start!”

Apple Bloom cocked an eyebrow at her friend. “Ye know, yer being kinda crazy here.”

Sweetie Belle shrugged. “You know what they say! Ponies do crazy things in the name of lo—like.”

Apple Bloom furrowed her eyebrows. “Pretty sure nopony says that…”

Sweetie Belle shook her head. “Whatever! We need to follow them make sure everything goes perfect!”

“Follow them where?”

Eek!

Ghah!

Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom turned and looked at Button Mash, who was standing a few feet away from them and next to Scootaloo. Scootaloo stared at her friends with annoyed, narrowed eyes. She now wore a pair of brown saddle bags.

Scootaloo sighed and shook her head. “See, it’s stuff like this that kept us from getting our ninja cutie marks.”

“Follow them… nowhere!” Sweetie Belle said. “Because we’re not following you two! Like… at all.

“It’s okay,” Button said with a smile. “You two can follow us! Maybe it’ll be more fun that way!”

Scootaloo nodded her head. “Yeah… You can even follow and do a bad job of hiding still! So bad that you might as well just join us for dinner and stuff!” Scootaloo flashed Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom a slightly pleading look, hoping they’d pick up on the not so subtle hint that she was already having second thoughts.

Sweetie Belle shook her head. “No, we couldn’t intrude.”

“Oh yes you can!” Scootaloo said.

“Yeah!” Button said. “We don’t mind… uh… apparently…”

Apple Bloom smiled. “Maybe we should! The four of us can just go out and have a lot of fu—”

“NO!” Sweetie Belle cried. “This is Button’s and Scootaloo’s special day, and we can’t interfere!”

The other foals went quiet and stared at Sweetie Belle with a mixture of disappointment and bemusement.

Uh… Alright then…” Button said in a crestfallen tone. “I guess we’ll just go to…” He turned to Scootaloo. “Where are we going?”

“Greasy Pizza’s Pizza Party Playhouse!” Scootaloo said.

Sweetie Belle’s eyes shot open wide. “What?! No!”

Apple Bloom groaned.

Button Mash looked back and forth between the two fillies in confusion.

“What’s your problem?!” Scootaloo said. “Greasy Pizza’s has skee ball! Skee ball! I mean… okay. I know we’re not going to win any of the good prizes! But it has games and food!”

“But the food is terrible!” Apple Bloom said.

Sweetie Belle stared off into open space and began to shiver. “And those scary puppets… I used to have nightmares about them! Princess Luna had to come into my dreams again and help me with my fears!”

“Princess Luna?” Button said with interest. “How’d that go?”


AAAAAAIIIIEEEEEEE!

Sweetie Belle let out a scream of terror as what appeared to be a whip made of fire cracked above her. She huddled against a stone wall as firelight and shadow danced around her.

Princess Luna, stood resolutely in front of Sweetie Belle as she stared up in determination, her wings spread out far and wide to their full span.

A massive being that looked like an anthropomorphic fox constructed out of equal parts shabby fabric, metal, fire, and horror towered above Luna and Sweetie Belle. In its hand it held a massive flaming whip, the other hand had been replaced by a giant, flaming hook.

“You cannot pass!” Luna declared in a booming voice. “I am the Princess of the Night! Watcher of Dreams! The dark fire will not avail you, oh creature of nightmares! Go back to the shadow!”

The massive fox opened its maw of dagger like sharp teeth as a cone of flames shot out.

EEEEEEEEEEEK!” Sweetie Belle screamed as Luna’s horn glowed briefly and a shield surrounded both ponies.

As the fire faded, Luna dropped her shield. Her horn began to glow a brilliant shade of blue as she raised her forehooves and flailed them aggressively. “YOU SHALL NOT PASS!


Oh… it uh… went…” Sweetie Belle replied.

Button Mash rubbed the bottom of his chin with his forehoof. “Well… I kinda want to go…”

“You do?!” Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom said in disbelief.

Button nodded. “I’ve never got to go inside! Mom says she won’t take me because she went with my older brother when he was young and he had nightmares for weeks... and also something about a restraining order.”

Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom exchanged worried glances.

“Great!” Scootaloo said. “Then it’s settled! Let’s go!”

“Okay!” Button said excitedly. He turned towards Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle, his gaze noticeably lingering on Sweetie Belle. “Guess… Guess I’ll see you two later?”

Apple Bloom nodded. “Of course Button! Have… uh… fun?”

Sweetie Belle forced something of a sweet smile. “Yeah, Button. I hope you enjoy yourself.”

Uh… Right…” Button said. “I’m sure hanging out with Scootaloo will be… erm… okay…”

“Yeah!” Scootaloo said as she forced excitement into her tone. “Let’s go have an ‘okay’ time!”

With that, Button and Scootaloo continued walking away from the house and towards Ponyville.

Apple Bloom motioned to the two foals as they walked away. “Are ya just gonna let this happen?!”

“Well… it’s Scootaloo’s date!” Sweetie Belle said. “I mean… this is her opportunity to see if she and Button are meant to be!”

“He’s not gonna be with anypony if he spends the rest of his life in the nut house!”

Sweetie Belle frowned. “Well… that’s why we’re going to follow them! We need to make sure Scootaloo’s date goes off without a hitch!”

Apple Bloom shook her head. “Ah don’t think that’s even a remote possibility with where we’re all goin’, but okay…”


Scootaloo excitedly pushed open the glass double doors of the large brick ‘Greasy Pizza’s Pizza Party Playhouse’ and trotted inside. Button followed and scanned the establishment.

The inside was dimly lit and the faded red carpets and drapes sported a number of grimy, brown and even black stains. Sets of mostly empty tables surrounded a curtained off stage and those tables that were occupied contained a couple of distraught and depressed-looking families in front of barely touched pizzas. Lines of dirty game cabinets occupied the far wall of the establishment next to a trio of skee ball machines and a lopsided air-hockey table that had a filthy brown and liquid-damaged book wedged underneath one of the legs. Scattered about the skee ball machines and air-hockey table were a number of cracked glass cases and machines of unknown function, almost all with ‘OUT OF ORDER’ signs hung over them. Near the entrance was a glass case in front of some shelves with a large banner that read “prizez” that dangled from a frayed rope. Colorful and cheap-looking plastic items sat in the glass case next to numbers in the single and double digits. On the shelves were impressive and expensive-looking dust-covered items with numbers of five or more digits next to them. Finally, a few large entryways opened up to barely lit hallways where the faint sound of children screaming and sobbing could be heard.

In the center of the room was what looked like a large gray inflatable raft with a series of long blue patches over it. Inside the ‘raft’ were hundreds of colorful balls surrounding a pink unicorn filly with a two toned dark-and-light-pink mane. The unicorn filly wept bitterly, but no one so much as looked or acknowledged her cries.

Button stared at the ‘ball pit’ as a profound feeling of existential dread creeped over him.

Scootaloo leaned in close to Button and whispered, “Under no circumstances do you go into the ball pit. Understood?”

Button nodded. “I won’t, Scootaloo.” He put his muzzle into the air and sniffed. “What’s that smell? It kinda smells like… sniffuh… cart oil and burnt cardboard.”

“Oh! That would be the pizza!” Scootaloo said. “Speaking of which, I’m starving! Let’s order some of that first!”

“Oh… alright…” Button said in an unsure tone.

“Here!” Scootaloo said as she sat down and allowed her saddle bags to slide off her back, hitting the ground with a jingle. She stuck in both her forehooves in and came up with a pile of bits. “Why don’t you play some video games while I get us some food?”

Button took the bits in one forehoof as best he could. “Well, I do like video games…” he said as he began carefully limping away on three hooves as he balanced his pile of bits in one.

As he approached the line of video game cabinets, Button scanned the games and mouthed the titles out loud. “Donkey Klung… Super Mareio half-cousins, twice removed… Pac-circle of unknown gender… Ponge… Space Encroachers… None of these sound very good… Oh! That game looks interesting…”

Button trotted up to a large game labeled “IRON WILL’S DANCE TO CONFIDENCE INSURGENCY!” Arrows ascended from the bottom of the screen to the top as gentle, rhythmic electronic dance music sounded from the speakers. Next to the large screen was a cutout of a life-sized, blue minotaur wearing a small black tie and nose ring. He gave an enthusiastic smile and thumbs up. In front of the screen was a platform with two sets of eight arrows each. Button stepped onto the platform, set his pile of bits to the side, and took a single bit out of the pile. He placed it into the machine, which beeped as the screen was suddenly filled by the image of the same minatour that stood next to the game.

“Welcome to Iron Will’s Dance to Confidence Insurgency!” The minotaur greeted. “I’m Iron Will!” Iron Will said as he pointed to himself with a thumb.

“Hi, Mr. Iron Will!” Button said cheerfully.

Iron Will flexed. “Are you ready to prove to everyone around you that you’re the best around?! That nothing’s ever gonna keep you down?!

Button nodded excitedly. “I am, Iron Will!”

“I can’t hear you!” the onscreen minotaur said as put a hand up to his ear.

I am, Iron Will!” Button said with more force.

“Louder!”

I AM, IRON—”

Louder!”

IAMIRONWI—

LOOOOOUUUUUUDER!

Button began to cough and stutter.

“Good!” Iron Will said. “Now pick your song!”

Button took a few deep breaths before he looked over the song list in front of him. He began to read off the list stepped on an arrow and scrolled down each item. “‘Riot in the Insane Asylum’, ‘Please, Please, Make it Stop’…” Button paused and frowned. “‘Oh Celestia, I’m literally on fire…’ …Oh … ‘Misty Meadow Hop’… That sounds like a good first song....” Button placed a hoof on one of the arrows.

“Good choice!” Iron Will assured.

“Thanks, Mr. Iron Will!” Button replied. He stepped on of the steps again and the message next to the song that read, ‘Difficult’ changed to ‘Easy’.

“Easy?!” Iron Will cried. “This ain’t a game for babies, buddy and/or lady!”

“Uh… Sorry, Mr. Iron Will sir…” Button said as his ears flopped down around his head. He adjusted the setting again.

“‘Medium?’” Iron Will scoffed. “I thought you were serious about showing your manliness and/or ladyness!”

“I am serious!” Button insisted as he adjusted the setting yet again.

“‘Difficult’? I’m sorry, I thought I was dealing with a tough stallion or tough mare! Not some play it safe, namby-pamby tiny colt and/or filly!”

“I’m eight!” Button cried.

Iron Will continued, “But if you’re fine with never achieving your full potential and living an empty shadow of a life, a life where nopony respects you, then—”

“Alright!” Button cried. He adjusted the difficulty to ‘Insane’.

“Now you’re talking!” Iron Will said. “If you can complete this song on this difficulty, then all your dreams will come true!”

Button smiled. “Thanks, Mr. Iron Will. I sure hope so.”

The screen went dark for a second before a number countdown appeared. “3… 2… GO!”

“WHAT HAPPENED TO ONE?!” Button cried.

Frantic, pounding music boomed out of the game as a full bank of sixteen arrows pointed in all directions began shooting up from the bottom of the screen towards the top.

AAAAAAHHHH!” Button cried as he jumped all over the platform in a desperate attempt to hit the arrows.

“POOR! POOR! MISS!” Iron Will’s judgmental voice cried out. “POOR! MISS! POOR! IRON WILL DOESN’T THINK YOU’RE EVEN TRYING!”

Huff… puff… BUT I’M DOING MY BEST!” Button cried as his hooves frantically moved under him.

“IRON WILL IS VERY DISAPPOINTED IN YOU!”

WHAAAA! I’M SORRY, IRON WILL!” Button continued in vain to hit the arrows as a bar on the screen plummeted into the red.

TIron Will’s voice continued to berate Button as a bar began to flash. “IRON WILL THINKS YOU’RE A DISAPPOINTMENT TO EVERYPONY YOU KNOW! INCLUDING YOUR FRIENDS AND FAMILY! ESPECIALLY YOUR FRIENDS AND FAMILY!”

Ehhhehhh… hhhehhh…. sniff… WHOUAAAAAAHAAAAAAHAAAAA!” Button cried as he continued his desperate attempt to hit the arrows, straining to see them now through the tears in his eyes.

The screen suddenly went black. “FAILURE!” a voice boomed out as big bold red letters appeared on the screen spelling out the same word. Iron Will suddenly appeared with a disappointed look and added. “AND THAT’S ALL YOU’LL EVER BE!”

WHOUAAAAAAAHOUAAAAAAAAAAAHOUAAAAAAAAAA!” Button wailed.

Iron Will suddenly appeared again in front of the letters and smiled. “Would you like to try again?”

WHOUAAAAAAAHOUAAAAAAAAAAA… sniff… hhheehhh…” Button reached down for another bit. “Alright…”

“BUTTON!” Sweetie Belle cried as she suddenly rushed up from behind a video game and put a forehoof over Button’s arm as he pulled up another bit. “WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU DOING?!”

Oh… Hi, Sweetie Belle...” Button said sheepishly. He pointed to the game he was standing at. “I was going to try playing again so maybe everyone I know would stop being disappointed in me…”

Sweetie Belle shook her head. “I’m not disappointed in you!”

“You’re not?” Button asked.

“No! I think you’re great!”

Button’s face lit up. “You do?”

Sweetie Belle nodded her head up and down. “In fact I… I…”

“… Yes?” Button said with a hopefully smile.

Uh…” Sweetie Belle pointed away from the games. “I think Scootaloo is waiting for you.”

From her table directly in front of the stage, Scootaloo uttered a lengthy, irritated sigh as she raised a forehoof to her face.

Oh… alright then…” Button said in a disappointed tone. He gathered up his bits in one hoof again and began slowly limping to the table.

“Good!” Sweetie Belle called out after him. “I’ll just be… not here… Not following you!” Sweetie Belle trotted back over to the back of the ‘Repair it Rex the Fourth’ video game cabinet where a completely stunned Apple Bloom waited.

“Ya… ya had him!” Apple Bloom exclaimed as she held her forehooves out in front of her. “Ya were two lousy words away from confessing and ya let him jus’ walk away! Ya encouraged it even!”

Sweetie Belle shook her head. “Apple Bloom! This is Scootaloo’s big night! How do you think she would feel if I confessed to Button during her big date?!”

“RELIEVED!” Apple Bloom cried.

“I’m not going to ruin this special night between those two.”

Apple Bloom looked out and stared at the dingy and stained carpets, drapes, walls, and ceiling of Greasy Pizza’s. “Ah don’t think it’s even possible to make things worse than they’re probably going to be!”

Button trudged up to the table Scootaloo was at and dumped his bits. “Uh… Hi, Scootaloo… You order food yet?”

Scootaloo shook her head. “No, I’m waiting for a waiter to show up…” she sighed. “You’d think with almost no one here it would be… Ah, here comes one…”

Button turned over his shoulder and uttered a startled “AAAH!” as what appeared to be a pony-sized, horizontal slice of pizza with a massive manic-looking grin trotted over on mottled yellowish-white legs.

Button jumped onto the stool right next to Scootaloo and began quivering as the costumed pony approached. One eye of the costume dangled precariously on a single thread under an empty black cavity where it clearly once resided. The eye bounced up and down with each trot of the pony wearing the costume. On top of the pizza slice were a number of faded and grime covered foam items that could generously be described as vegetable-shaped.

As the costumed pizza pony approached, Button buried his head under Scootaloo’s wing as he continued to shake. Scootaloo shot Button a perturbed look.

Awww… How sweet…” a slightly muffled voice came from inside the costume. “Are you two on a date?”

Scootaloo sighed. “Yes…”

Ahhh… young love!”

Scootaloo rolled her eyes. “Can we just order please?”

“Sure! What’ll it be?”

“Two sodas please,” Scootaloo said.

The pizza slice bobbed once. “Brown or Green?”

Button perked up slightly. “Brown? Oh, like Colta-Cola or Pasture Dew?”

“Sure kid, very much like those things!”

“I’ll take brown!” Scootaloo said.

Button smiled. “I’ll take gree—”

Scootaloo quickly put a hoof over Button’s mouth. “He’ll also take a brown.”

The pizza slice bobbed again. “What’ll ya eat? Would you like one of Greasy Pizza’s delicious pizzas with the works?! It’s got every topping you can think of!”

“Wow!” Button exclaimed. “That sounds gre—”

Scootaloo cringed. “WE’LLJUSTTAKEACHEESEPIZZA, THANKS!” she quickly interrupted.

“Two brown sodas and one cheese pizza, coming up!” The pizza slice quickly turned around, hitting the table hard with a corner of the costume.

Thud!’

Button jumped slightly as the table in front of him wobbled. He then turned to Scootaloo. “What’s wrong with ‘the works’, Scootaloo?”

“It has things on it that aren’t strictly vegetables… or possibly food, even…”

“Oh! And the green soda?”

Scootaloo shook her head. “You don’t want to know… I don’t want to know!”

“Well… okay!” Button said cheerfully. He kicked his back hooves back and forth and looked about. “I uh…I guess we just wait for food and talk until it gets here?”

Scootaloo’s eyes went wide. “Oh look!” she said, pointing to the games. “Video games! Maybe you should try another!”

Button frowned. “Well… the last game I tried hurt my self-esteem…” Button cringed as one of his back legs twitched. “Also, I think one of my muscles melted away at some point…” He looked out into the open room and focused his eyes on one of the large openings that lead down a hallway. “Maybe I should see what’s down one of—”

“SWEET CELESTIA ON A UNICYCLE, NO!” Scootaloo shouted in alarm.

Button flinched. “What… what did I say?!”

“I mean…” Scootaloo pointed out to the assortment of glass cases and other unknown items. “Oh look! Uh… Things… I’m sure one of them works and is possibly fun!”

Button stared out at the items thoughtfully. “Well… I do like things that are fun!” he said.

Scootaloo breathed a sigh of relief as Button grabbed a single bit in his mouth and trotted off towards the assortment of mostly broken attractions.

Button scanned the items of various disrepair as he searched for something without an ‘OUT OF ORDER’ sign. His eyes suddenly settled on a completely bronze attraction; A bearded mule with a wide open mouth held out a plate and wore a large, wide brimmed hat. Its pupils, little more than tiny indents in its eyes, stared off to some far distant corner. When coupled with the gaping wide maw of the device, it almost looked like the prospecting mule was staring at something unspeakable in the corner of the establishment. It was set atop a wooden pedestal that read ‘PAN FOR GOLD’.

Button stood up on his hind legs and rested his hooves on the pedestal. As he looked closer at the mule, he noticed a bit shaped slot in its mouth. Button leaned forward, tilted his head slightly, and dropped the bit into the slot.

With a mechanical creaking noise the mule began to quake as its right foreleg began to shakily lift.

Button lowered himself back to all fours and stared at the device in concern.

The mule proceeded to lifted its hat slightly, then continued to shake as its eyes began to roll around in their sockets.

“What… what’s happening?!” Button cried in alarm.

Soon, one eye popped out as the mule continued its violent shaking. This was followed by the other eye as a dark, viscous, oily liquid bubbled up out of the mule’s mouth and began to drip out the bottom of its maw and down its beard.

Button screamed, “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!

The mule itself screamed, “RHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGH!

Button bolted towards the table as sparks began to shoot out the empty eye sockets of the prospecting mule.

“Oh hey!” Scootaloo said. “You’re just in time!” she motioned to two glasses full of some murky brown liquid that both had straws pointing peeking out the top and a large pizza.

Button crawled up onto a stool of the table as he attempted to catch his breath in between forcing out panicked-sounding words. “Ma… mulehufffluidspuffdeath!

Scootaloo shook her head from side to side. “There’ll be time for that later! Now chow’s here!”

Button stared down at the pizza. It looked slightly moist as he noted some sort of sheen over the top. He tentatively reached for a slice. No sooner had Button grabbed a wedge-shaped piece that the cheese slid off in a gelatinous ‘plop’ onto the cardboard below. Button stared at the oil dripping, slightly soggy piece of burnt crust in his hand then up at Scootaloo with a wide-eyed expression lost somewhere between befuddlement and complete and utter terror.

Scootaloo shrugged. “Yeah… you basically have to roll a slice into a ball and shove it all in your mouth otherwise the cheese just shoots out a random end…” Scootaloo grabbed her own piece carefully and folded it on itself. Cheese began to leak out either side as she continued to fold the side of the slice until the whole thing was wrapped into a lumpy, cheesy ball that dripped with grease. She then popped the doughy, cheesy, oily mass into her mouth and began chewing on it as if she had just put a massive piece of gum in her mouth.

Button set down his soggy, wedged-shape slice of soggy crust and attempted another slice, this time mashing it into a vaguely oblong shape. He then popped it into his mouth and began chewing

Scootaloo swallowed the mass of food she had been chewing on. “How’s it taste?” she asked.

Button began to tear up slightly as he continued the laborious act of chewing. With what seemed like a herculean effort, Button swallowed the food in his mouth. “It tastes… it tastes like sadness!” Button Mash began to shake in his chair. “I think I’m having a flashback from when we were all in the sewer together!”

Scootaloo nodded. “Yeah… I find it’s best to chase the taste of the pizza with some of the flat soda…” Scootaloo put her mouth up to the straw of her drink and took a sip.

Button did the same. He cringed as the brown liquid touched his tongue.

Scootaloo continued, “Then you chase the taste of that with some water.”

“From the drinking fountain?” Button asked he pointed to a rusted drinking fountain in the corner of the massive room. A yellow filly with a two-toned orange and light orange colored mane and a cutie mark of three peaches walked up to it leaned her head down, and pressed the button on the drinking fountain faucet. A putrid greenish-black substance immediately shot into her face from the nozzle.

Button watched in horror as the filly scampered away from the fountain screaming. “Aaaaaaahhh! It burns! It burns my eyes and my tongue! Help me! Heeeeelp Meeeeeeeeee!

Scootaloo shook her head. “No! There’s a garden hose outside. You only use the drinking fountain as a last resort to get out. Somepony has to take you to the hospital at that point!”

“Wait, what?!” Button exclaimed.

“Is everything alright?”

Button gave another cry of alarm as the pizza-slice-costumed pony loomed over the foals’ table. The dangling eye drifted back and forth slightly. Button noticed the eye seemed to be staring at him and began to lean to one side and then the other as the eye lazily drifted back and forth, as if following the young colt.

“We’re fine,” Scootaloo assured.

The final thread of the eye finally broke and the eye fell on top of the pizza with a wet ‘plop’. It stared lifelessly out at Button.

Button opened his mouth as if to shriek, but no sound came out.

The lights began to dim.

“Oh hey!” Scootaloo said. “The show’s about to start!”

“WHAT?!” Button cried out in alarm as he looked from side to side. “We have to…” Button trailed off as he looked to his left noticing the pizza-slice-costumed pony was now standing next to him. He could feel a cold sweat break out over his body as he stared into the empty eye socket.

Suddenly the curtains jerked open revealing a towering brown, grime covered bear in a bowtie and top hat. The bear stared out at the audience with an expression somewhere between a knowing grin and a leer.

“Scoot… Scootaloo…?” Button said tentatively. “I think I’d like to…”

The bear suddenly lurched forward, as it thrust a leg in front of its body. It then did this again, and again. It’s bizarre gait resembling more controlled falling then actual walking.

Button noted with no small amount of complete and utter dread that the bear was heading straight for him.

The bear leaned down and placed a microphone in front of Button.

Button stared at the device as if would explode at a moment’s notice.

The mouth of the bear opened and a speaker underneath hissed and crackled to life as a recording played slowly, then quickly, its tone and pitch changing erratically. “Heeeellloooo theeeeeere… Wha-wha-WHAT’SYOURNAAAaaaaammme?”

Button swallowed. “It’s… it’s…”

“Thaaaaaat’s gre-gre-GREAT!WOULDYOULIKETOHEARASooooooonnnnnggggg… sssssssssssssss…”

Button shook his head as the sounds of static hissed out the speaker. “Oh Celestia, please no…”

“ … ssssssss…” The bear suddenly collapsed to its knees and extended its empty hand towards Button, its paw fell atop one of his forearms and mechanical digits suddenly tightened.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

“Oh! hehe…” the pizza slice giggled next to Button. “That just means he likes you and wants to be your special friend forever!”

AAAHH! AAAAAAAAHHHHHHH! AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!

“…sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss…”

Button cried as he violently shook his arm up and down and a desperate attempt to free it from the mechanical grasp of the bear.

“STOP STRUGGLING!” the pizza slice cried. “He holds on tighter if you struggle!”

“KILL IT!” Button cried. “KILL IT! KILL IT!

“Hold on, Button!” Scootaloo cried. She quickly grabbed a soda and doused the animatronic device with it.

Hissing soon turned to a deep, unnatural rumble as smoke began to pour from the device and sound erupted from the speaker once more. “…ssssssssssssssSSSSSSSSSSSSSSOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNGGGGGGG!”

Button bolted from his seat, but the mechanical beast held fast. It banged behind him as he galloped into the assortment of broken attractions.

Button glanced up for a moment as he heard his name called. He could have sworn he heard not one but three fillies’ crying out his name in concern. When he glanced down he noticed he was heading straight for a familiar, but unwelcome sight.

Button locked eyes with the empty sockets of the prospector, he felt a hoof slip out from under him as it fell onto a black pool of sludge that formed a moat around the bronze device.

‘BANG!’

“… SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS…!

Button quickly rose to his feet, noticing the heavy weight on his arm was now gone. In front of him the brass, fluid-leaking mule chomped down on one of the animatronic bear’s arms. The bear flailed wildly as sparks shot off from it and smoke poured from its body. Whether the flailing was a malfunction or in response to the item attached to it was anypony’s guess.

Free from the grasp of the dreaded bear machine, Button broke into a gallop… straight towards one of the open hallways.

“BUTTON, NO!”

Button noticed a flash of something white and felt himself being tackled to the ground.

“AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH! ANOTHER MONSTER GOT ME!” Button shouted.

“Button, it’s me!”

Button opened his eyes. “Oh… Hi, Sweetie Belle!”

Sweetie Belle smiled down at sludge covered colt under her. “Uh… Hey Button… How’s the date—”

“It is literally the worst thing that has ever happened to me ever!” Button said.

Sweetie Belle’s eyes widened. “Oh, no…”

Button shook his head. “Oh, It’s alright—”

‘THUD!’

“EEEK!”

AAAH!

Button and Sweetie Belle jumped and wrapped their arms and legs around each other as the bronze donkey prospector fell a few feet in front of them, staring out at them with empty sockets that shot out a few errant sparks. The black ooze continued to pour out of its mouth as if it would never end.

“IT’S NOT ALRIGHT! IT’S NOT ALRIGHT!” Button cried.

An orange blur suddenly approached both Button and Sweetie Belle and grabbed a forearm from both of them. Soon they were being dragged to the entrance of Greasy Pizza’s as Apple Bloom held the door open for them.

“Come on, come on!” Apple Bloom cried.

“I’M RUNNING AS FAST AS I CAN!” Scootaloo cried as she hauled both Button and Sweetie Belle behind her as well as her brown saddle bags that sat on her back.

“…SSSSSSSSSSSSSSOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNGGGGGGG!”

‘SLAM!’

Apple Bloom slammed the doors behind Scootaloo as she dragged Button and Sweetie Belle out of the large brick building of Greasy Pizza’s Pizza Party Playhouse.

For a brief moment the four foals simply stood outside the door and breathed in the cool night air which was noticeably crisp and clean smelling when compared to the greasy, thick, and heavy air inside the building.

“So…” Scootaloo said. “Now that we’ve played some games and ate some food, I guess the date’s ov—”

“THAT SURE WAS FUN…ISH!” Sweetie Belle exclaimed. “GEE, I WONDER WHERE YOU TWO WILL GO NEXT ON YOUR AWESOME DATE!”

Apple Bloom and Scootaloo groaned.

“Go?” Button uttered. “Yes! Go! Go good!”

Scootaloo shook her head and looked up at Sweetie Belle. Sweetie Belle stared back at Scootaloo with a pleading look.

Scootaloo sighed heavily then turned to Button. “So, Button…” she began. “I was thinking we could go—”

“GREAT!” Button cried as he turned and began to trot away from the large brick building.

“You didn’t let me finish…” Scootaloo said.

“You said the word ‘go’!” Button said as he broke into a canter. “That’s good enough for me!”

Author's Note:

Greasy Pizza's Pizza Party Playhouse was inspired by a chapter of Ponyville Public Access written by MythrilMoth (and a healthy dose of references)!

Thanks MythrilMoth! You help inspired a place Button will remember until the day he dies!