• Published 6th Jan 2014
  • 24,854 Views, 2,805 Comments

The SweetieMash Chronicles - Justice3442

The Cutie Mark Crusaders decide they need to expand their numbers, but things quickly go awry when their first target begins sobbing on the spot. Sweetie Belle soon finds herself roped into hanging out with the young colt.

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Chapter 1: Bad First Impressions

The SweetieMash Chronicles

Chapter 1: Bad First Impressions


Sweetie Belle sat in the Cutie Mark Crusader clubhouse next to Scootaloo as the two quietly watched Apple Bloom’s one pony, one chart presentation. The sun shone brightly into the clubhouse, with the sounds of birds chirping adding to the ambiance of the calm, warm, Ponyville day.

Apple Bloom continued to smile optimistically as she pointed to the line chart behind her. A simple green line over a grid that spiked to a plateau and remained completely horizontal traveling across the X axis.

“So, as ya’ll can plainly see, The Cutie Mark Crusaders continue to enjoy steady membership numbers since its establishment some months back!” Apple Bloom said, tracing her forehoof along the green line.

Sweetie Belle smiled and clapped her hooves together excitedly.

Scootaloo stared at the graph with a bored expression. “That just means we haven’t got any new members, Apple Bloom.”

“We’ll we haven’t lost none, neither!” Apple Bloom countered.

“I don’t think you’re going to get your cutie mark in chart making over this.” Scootaloo continued.

I liked it!” Sweetie Belle stressed. “It was upbeat! Had a positive message, you know?”

Scootaloo raised her eyelid a bit. “It was a chart, Sweetie Belle, not a bedtime story.”

“Yeah… but it goes up!” Sweetie Belle insisted, motioning towards the ceiling with her forearms.

Apple Bloom sighed. “It’s alright, Sweetie Belle, it was a long shot… anyhow who wants a dumb cutie mark in chart makin’, anyhow?”

“Well… it would be a tad on the geeky side.” Sweetie Belle admitted.

“Yeah, talk about nerd city!” Scootaloo agreed.

“Hey, everypony!” Sweetie Belle looked over the chart. “This gives me an idea!”

Scootaloo gave the chart another look over, “Cutie Mark Crusaders trash burners?” She suggested motioning out to the rather unexciting looking line on large graph paper.

“Hey!” Apple Bloom protested.

“Nooo,” Sweetie Bell replied, “we should try to expand our numbers!” She suggested. “We can maybe get our cutie marks in recruitment, or cutie marks in getting other ponies their cutie marks!”

Apple Bloom and Scootaloo pondered this.

“That’s a great idea!” Apple Bloom said. “We’d increase club attendance and maybe get guidance counselor cutie marks!”

“Yeah,” Scootaloo agreed, smiling excitedly, “and I bet a recruitment cutie mark would look pretty cool!”

“Cutie Mark Crusaders recruiters, Yay!” The three cheered, all raising a forehoof into the air and slapping them against each other’s.


The three Cutie Mark Crusaders peered out of a bush, spying a young, brown colt with fiery brown hair, his flanks noticeably blank. A red, yellow, and orange beanie with a green propeller that spun continuously adorned his head. He sat against a tree with his eyes transfixed on a small device in front of him, staring widely and unblinkingly as he stuck his tongue out from the side of his mouth, constantly shifting his hooves to tap buttons on the small, green device which beeped in response. A pair of brown saddlebags with black crosses, with grey circles in the center, and grey arrows pointing out at the end of each line adorning the center sat next to him.

“Alright, well, how ‘bout him?” Apple Bloom suggested. “He don’t got his cutie mark yet.”

“Uh… I don’t know… what’s up with that weird hat?” Scootaloo asked. She quickly glanced around at the trees around them. “And how is that thing spinning? It’s not even windy out…”

“I like the hat!” Sweetie Belle stated.

Really?” Apple Bloom and Scootaloo asked in unison.

“Well… it’s uh… unique…"Sweetie Bell suggested.

Okay, well… admittedly I only kinda like it because Rarity saw it and declared it a fashion disaster…

Man, my sister can be such the fussy pants sometimes…

Geez, it’s like any pony wears the wrong color in the wrong season and its cause to abduct them and start accessorizing them like they were her own personal models…

… Why am I moving?

Sweetie Belle looked down and realized she was being pushed closer and closer to the colt.

“Wait? What are you two doing?” Sweetie Belle asked as her two friends continued to push her along the ground.

“You kinda spaced out there for a sec,” Scootaloo explained. “So Apple Bloom and I decided you should talk to him first, since you like his hat and all…”

Sweetie Belle began to struggle vainly against her friends. “Wait! But he’s got this really weird look on his face! Maybe we shouldn’t…”

“This was your idea, Sweetie Belle!” Apple Bloom reminded her. “We’ll be right behind ya.”

“Oh well, okay…”

“In that bush…"Apple Bloom continued. “Where no pony can see us!”

Scootaloo giggled.

“Oh, come on! That’s not fair!” Sweetie Belle protested.

“Don’t worry!” Scootaloo called as she and Apple Bloom raced back to the bush. “We’ll be your backup ponies.”

“Oh… I guess that makes sense…" Sweetie Belle mused. She turned to the brown colt who continued to stare wide eyed at his device, oblivious to the world around him.

“Uh… hey… there… you…"Sweetie Belle offered tentatively. “WE uh… we uh well you see… we’re recruiting for our club and… thought… maybe…”

“Huh?” The brown colt looked up briefly as his device began to angrily beep at him. His eyes went wide has he refocused his attention on it.

“No. No! NOOOOOOOO!” He cried. “That was my last liiiiiife! Now I have to start ALL OVER! WHY IS LIFE SO UNFAIR TO ME?!” He moaned, followed shortly by tortured sobbing. “Auunhwuahwuahwuaaaa… ”

“Huh?” Sweetie Belle asked, confused as to what had just exactly transpired.

Whoa… this guys is more of a drama queen than my sister…

“Nice going, Sweetie Belle!” Scootaloo called from the bush.

“But I didn’t DO anything!” Sweetie Belle answered shrilly in response.

“Sweetie Belle! Do ya need to make the poor guy cry as soon as ya talk to him!?” Apple Bloom asked.

“Button!” A maternal voice called out. “Are these three fillies bullying you?!”

Sweetie Belle turned and a panicked expression took over her features as a light tan colored mare with a long, brown mane tied up in a ponytail focused blue eyes full of daggers at her. The mare wore a simple pair of brown saddlebags.

“IT’S EVERY PONY FOR HERSELF!” Scootaloo screamed, as she fled from the bush.

“But…"Apple Bloom began, quickly darting her eyes from Scootaloo, Sweetie Belle, and finally the angry looking mare. “Sorry, Sweetie Belle!” She shouted as she ran off in pursuit of Scootaloo.


“What exactly is going on here, young lady?” The mare growled out.

Sweetie Belle’s ear’s flopped down as she looked up into the angry, accusing eyes of the mare and gulped. “I didn’t… I mean… I just wanted…”

“Moooooooooom!” The colt wailed, pointing at Sweetie Belle. “She made me lose my last liiiiiife!” He added as if the filly had introduced a major tragedy into his life.

“But… but, I just wanted to make friends!” Sweetie Belle insisted.

To Sweetie Belle’s great relief, the mare’s expression softened as she smiled and rolled her eyes.

“Button, that’s nothing to cry about.” The mare said in a soothing tone.

“But… but… the space ponies of Glurf’zord 4 are now heroless with the unrelenting space cruisers of the evil General Korft’igarden making their great assault!” Button protested.

“Button, you can play Space Defender 2, later.”

Button sighed. “Yes, mom…”

The mare smiled at Sweetie Belle. “And what is your name?”

“Uhh… I’m Sweetie Belle.”

Sweetie Belle looked up as the mare seemed to nod with satisfaction.

Huh… she’s kinda looking at me the same way Rarity does when she’s just made a dress she’s really proud of.

“Button, darling? Why don’t you stop making a scene and introduce yourself to the nice filly?”

Sniff… okay…”Button said softly, closing a lid over his wailing. “My name is Button Mash.”

“Uh hi… I’m Sweetie Belle, oh… but… uh…"Sweetie Belle glanced away for a second. “I guess I said that already.” Sweetie Belle turned back to Button. “I uh… really like your hat…"she offered.

“REALLY?!” Button asked as his face lit up. “Cool! ‘Cause I think it looks sooo cooool, but every other pony gives it this weird look and always asks how it’s spinning even when there’s no wind! And then they ask me like I would know, but how the hay would I… ”

“Button!” Button’s mother said forcefully. “Language!” She reminded.

“Ooops, sorry…"Button sighed and trotted over to his saddle bags sadly, he stuck his head into one and emerged with a bit in his mouth. “Swoory mom…" Button muttered, presenting the bit to his mom.

Sweetie Belle shot button’s mom a quick glance.

Button’s mom chuckled. “Swear jar.” She informed. She looked back at Button. “Keep it.”

Button’s face lit up. “Rweally?!”

Button’s mom nodded, “In fact, why don’t you fish a few bits out of my bags and you two can grab a couple milkshakes.” She suggested.

Button’s face lit up. “Yay! Milkshakes!”

Sweetie Belle smiled as well.

“Wait…"Button uttered looking over Sweetie Belle suspiciously.

He looked at his mom and began to speak in a low, guttural language. “<Mother, she is unwise to our ways. I’m not sure it’s a good idea to associate with her ilk.>”

Button’s mother rolled her eyes. “<Then teach her, I’m sure if you share your games, she’ll enjoy herself.>”

Sweetie Belle looked between the two with a confused expression as Button continued to shoot her a peculiar look.

“<No! She’s too old to begin the training!>” Button insisted.

“<Look, either you go out for milkshakes with that nice, young filly, or I’m confiscating your Joy Boy and Happy Gear for a month.>”

Button stepped up to his mother and placed a very serious looking face inches from hers. “<You wouldn’t…>”

Button’s mother grinned wickedly. “<Try me.>” She purred.

Button looked over Sweetie Belle almost as if he was seeing her for the first time. “Yay! Milkshakes!” He exclaimed. He quickly trotted over to his mother’s saddlebags and stuck his head in, and pulled it out with a mouthful of bits.

“Thwanks Mom!” He uttered.

“You’re welcome, sweetie,” His mother answered.

The bits in Buttons mouth began to glow with a faint, green aura and levitated into Button’s saddle bags.

Sweetie Belle smiled sweetly.

“Thank you, Sweetie Belle,” Button’s mom said. “That was very thoughtful.”

“Yeah thanks, Sweetie Belle,” Button said.

“Well, I’ll let you two get to it.” Button’s mom stated. “Don’t stay out too late, Button, dear!”
“I won’t! Bye, mom!”

“Bye… uh… Ms. Button’s mom…" Sweetie Belle offered.

Well, he’s a bit weird, but hey… FREE MILKSHAKE!

“So…"Sweetie Belle began, breaking the awkward silence between the two as they trotted down the road, “I notice you don’t have your cutie mark, yet.”

“Huh?” Button responded. “Oh that… I don’t really care about that.” He admitted.

“WHAT?!” Sweetie Belle shrieked. “How can you not care about your cutie mark?!”

“There’s just more important things, is all.” Button argued.


Button smiled. “There are entire worlds that need saving! The downtrodden ponies of the Klefka colonies cry out for a hero!” He declared dramatically, looking up towards the sky with a forehoof in the air. “The peace loving ponies of the Hirulian plains need protection! And ponies cry out for relief and justice from the unrelenting criminals of Haythom!” He glanced back at Sweetie Belle. “Pretty cool, huh?”

Sweetie Belle gave him a nonplussed expression. “You’re talking about your dumb games, aren’t you?”

“They’re not dumb!” Button insisted, a bit taken aback. “Here!” He sat down and took off his saddlebag, and fished out the rounded, rectangular, green device with his mouth, presenting it to Sweetie Belle.

With a green glow, the device floated into Sweetie Belle’s forehooves as she sat on her haunches. “Fine… I’ll try it…"she said in a somewhat irritated voice.

Whatever, just a few minutes of this stupid thing and I’ll hand it back to him…

*But then…*

“Hey! This is pretty fun.” Sweetie Belle mused.

“I tooooold youuuuu!” Button Mash sung out.

The device beeped angrily at Sweetie Belle. “Aww, I died.”

“Oh, it’s okay. You have lots more lives. Hey! Let’s keep walking while you play.” Button suggested. “I’d do it all the time, if I had magic.”

“Well… okay!” Sweetie said with a nod.

*…and then…*


“I’M TRYING!” Sweetie Belle retorted as she fixed her eyes on the device floating in front of her with a light green aura around it.

Sweetie Belle and Button continued to trot at a steady pace.

“You’re getting pretty good!” Button mused.

Sweetie Belle glanced at the colt and smiled. “Thanks, I’m really enjoy…"She stopped as the device beeped angrily at her again.

“Oops…sorry…” Button offered.

Sweetie Belle looked back at the device, a determined look on her face. “Wait, one more try!” She insisted.

“Sure, Sweetie Belle,” Button responded. “But we’re almost… ”

“WHA!” Sweetie Belle exclaimed as she tripped on a step and face planted into another.

“… there.” Button finished.

Sweetie Belle sat up her face red, partially from the impact and partially from embarrassment.

I hope nopony saw that…

“You okay?” Button asked.

“Uh… fine!” Sweetie Belle insisted. “Let’s just get those milkshakes, okay?”

Button nodded. “Sure!” He replied with a smile.

The two entered the milkshake parlor and walked up to the counter towards a white stallion behind the counter.

“What’ll it be?” The stallion asked.

Button sat his saddlebags down, stuck his head into one, and fished out a few bits with his mouth, placing them on the counter.

“One chocolate milkshake, please!” He said happily.

“And a vanilla one!” Sweetie Belle added.

“Coming right up!” The stallion responded as he collected the bits.

“Vanilla?” Button Mash asked.

“And what is wrong with vanilla?!” Sweetie Belle demanded.

“Uh… nothing… it’s just so plain…”

“Oh!” Sweetie Belle replied, with an irritated tone. “What makes you say that?”

“Uh… well… I mean… there’s no color there… it’s just white, for starters.” Button argued,

Sweetie Belle’s face contorted into a look of genuine anger. “Are you saying there’s something wrong with being white?!” She asked, her voice getting increasingly shriller.

“Uh… no…”

Sweetie Belle began to walk forward, closing the short distance between her and Button. “So, what ARE you saying?”

Button began to scotch back, away from the angry filly who continued to approach him.

Sweetie Belle, in turn, continued to walk forward.

“It’s just… erm… umm…” Button began to look worried.

Alright, what’s that thing mom always says to do when you’ve made a girl mad at you?!

Ooof…” Button uttered as he backed into the wall.

Oh, right…

“Hey, Sweetie Belle… I uh… really like your mane.”

Sweetie Belle paused and her expression softened. “You do?”

“Yeah!” Button replied. “It’s this cool pink and purple color you know? It goes really well with your white fur.”

Sweetie Belle’s face lit up. “It does?!”

Button nodded. “Totally.”

Sweetie Belle beamed. “Thank you…"She squeaked out. “Uh, hey… don’t worry about the milkshake thing, alright?”

Button shrugged. “Sure! No problem.”

The two quickly found an empty table and sat at it.

The white stallion motioned to the two and the smiled back at him in anticipation.

“Order up!” He shouted, expertly tossing the milk shakes in front of the young ponies.

Sweetie Belle smiled to herself.

Maybe I was wrong about Button!

He’s not so weird.

And he’s actually kinda co…

Button quickly turned to Sweetie Belle with a large smile on his face. “MILKSHAKE RACE! 1, 2, 3, GO!”

Sweetie Belle looked at Button with equal parts confusion and concern.


“AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” Button Mash screamed as he held his forehooves to his brain frozen head. He promptly fell over in pain.


Button continued his screaming on the floor, as it gave away to tortured sobs of anguish. “AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! AAAAAAAAAHUAHUA!”

Sweetie Belle’s expression of concern gave way to annoyance as she reached for her milkshake and slowly began sipping it.

Never mind…

Sweetie Belle slowly trotted up the ramp to the Cutie Mark Crusaders clubhouse as Celestia lowered the sun in the horizon, the last bits of sunlight slowly fading from the face of Equestria.

“Okay… ” She heard Scootaloo call out excitedly. “So, while you’re fighting the armed guards, Sweetie Belle floats me over the spike pit with her magic, so I can hit the switch on the other side, closing the trap door back up, and… ”

“How many times do ah have to tell ya?!” Apple Bloom interrupted. “If Sweetie Belle were with us, we wouldn’t need to rescue her!”

“Ooooh, right! I keep forgetting that part!” Scootaloo replied.

“Uh, hey guys…” Sweetie Belle said as she emerged from outside.

“Sweetie Belle!” The other two crusaders exclaimed.

“You’re just in time to help us rescue you!” Scootaloo exclaimed.

Apple Bloom smacked a forehoof against her face. “Scootaloo, do ya ever think about the things ya say before ya say them?”

“Hey! Fortune favors the bold!” Scootaloo countered.

“That’s not what that…” Apple Bloom sighed and looked up at Sweetie Belle. “Hey! We felt so bad about leaving ya back there that we were gonna launch a rescue mission!”

“Yeah! And get awesome rescue pony cutie marks!” Scootaloo added.

Apple Bloom grinned nervously as she elbowed the orange pegasus in the ribs.

“Oh, but we weren’t supposed to mention that part…” Scootaloo added.

Apple Bloom rolled her eyes.

Sweetie Belle gave her two friends a small smile. “Uh, thanks…” She offered.

“So, you escaped!” Scootaloo observed as she began to trot around her friend in a circle.

“Uh…” Sweetie Belle replied.

“Were you tortured?” Apple Bloom asked, joining Scootaloo in her loops around Sweetie Belle.

“Erm… ”

“Yeah, yeah! I bit that mean ol’ lady strapped you down and tickled you with a feather until you cried ‘uncle’!” Scootaloo suggested.

“She was pretty nice, actually.” Sweetie Belle admitted.

Apple Bloom and Scootaloo exchanged glances.

“Ah was afraid this might happen.” Apple Bloom uttered.

Scootaloo nodded in agreement. “Stockholm syndrome!” She declared. “I heard fillynapped ponies get it if they’re held too long…”

“What?” Sweetie Belle protested. “I don’t have Stockholm syndrome!”

“That’s exactly what someone with Stockholm syndrome would say!” Apple Bloom countered.

“She could be brainwashed…” Scootaloo suggested.

“I’M NOT BRAINWASHED!” Sweetie Belle shrieked.

“Don’t worry, Sweetie Belle!” Apple Bloom replied. “We know what to do!”

Apple Bloom and Scootaloo looked at each other and nodded. “CUTIE MARK CRUSADER MIND DE-PROGRAMMERS, YAY!”

“Girls, I’m not… WHOA!”

Without warning Apple Bloom and Scootaloo pounced, tackling Sweetie Belle to the ground.

“Wait… deprogrammers?” Apple Bloom said. “She’s not a robot.”

“She could be!” Scootaloo countered.

“Girls! I’m not a robot! That’s ridiculous!”

“How can we be sure?” Apple Bloom asked.

“Yeah? Hey! Say ‘Cutie Mark Acquisition Program’.” Scootaloo commanded.

“Why the heck would I say something like that?!”

“You would if you were a robot!” Scootaloo argued.

Apple Bloom nodded in agreement

“Oh, well then… I’m not saying it.” Sweetie Belle replied.

The other two fillies exchanged glances.

“Uh… Ah guess that means she’s not a robot, then…"Apple Bloom said.

“Guess not…” Scootaloo said.

“Get offa me!” Sweetie Belle shrieked as she pushed her two friends off of her. “Look! When I said I just wanted to be Button Mash’s friend, his mom gave him a bunch of bits and had him take me out for a milkshake.” She explained.

Apple Bloom and Scootaloo paused and exchanged glances, they quickly retreated to the other end of the clubhouse and began to speak in hushed tones.

“She knows his name…” Scootaloo said.

“And, he bought her a milkshake,” Apple Bloom added.

“So… a date?” Scootaloo asked, cocking an eyebrow.

“Totally!” Apple Bloom replied.

“Why are you two whispering over there?”

Scootaloo and Apple Bloom turned around, giant grins plastered on their faces. They began to sing in unison. “Sweetie Belle and Button Mash sittin’ in a tree.

“WHAT?! NO! It wasn’t like that!” Sweetie Belle insisted.


“Stop it! I’ll bite!” Sweetie Belle threatened, her face starting to flush red.

First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes to foal in the…

“GRAAAAAH!” Sweetie Belle launched herself at the other crusaders.

“GHak! Wait, Sweetie Belle! We were only jokin’… OW!” Apple Bloom exclaimed as Sweetie Belle swatted at her with a forehoof.

“Yeah, it’s totally cool you were getting mad smooches on with this colt, and OWCH! STOP BITING MY WING!”


Mooooom, I’m hoooome!” Button Mash called out as he opened the door.

Button’s mom poked her head into the hallway. “Welcome back, dear. Did you have fun with Sweetie Belle?”

Button’s face lit up. “I did! First I showed her my Joy Boy, then we had milkshakes, and I got this wicked bad brain freeze, but then she played my Joy Boy some more, and she’s getting really good at it!”

Button’s mom smiled warmly. “Good, I’m really glad you made a new friend.”

“Yeah, me too!” Button said, nodding his head up and down. “I can’t wait to show her more of my games.”

“I think that’s a really good idea!” Button’s mother replied. “In fact, how about you invite her over for dinner tomorrow?”

Button gasped loudly. “Can I mom!? Can I, can I?!”

Button’s mom giggled. “Of course, dear! I suggested it. Why don’t you ask Sweetie Belle tomorrow and I’ll go clear it with her parents.”

“YAY!” Button Mash exclaimed. “Oh boy! I’m going to go pick out some games we can play right now.”

Button’s mother smiled as her son bolted for his room. Followed by a cringe at the sound of a crash.

“I’m okay!” Button assured from down the hall.

Button’s mom smiled to herself again and returned to the kitchen.

Finally… I was beginning to worry he’d never make any friends…