She stood in front of them all, looking out on the crowd, and they chanted her name. Her name, which meant so much.
Twilight Sparkle
In the morning, it spoke of a time of peace, when the morning light was just beginning to shine, and the day was full of promises. In the evening, it spoke of comfort, the light dimming and promising a night of dreaming respite from the day's troubles. It also promised a visit with Luna, and her beautiful tapestry of stars, if one chose to stay up.
But her name meant more than that in this world. It meant 'Element of Harmony'. It meant 'Friend of Applejack, Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy, Rarity, and Rainbow Dash'. It meant 'Adoptive Sister of Spike the Baby Dragon'. It meant 'Librarian of Ponyville'. It meant 'Sister of Shining Armor'. Her name used to mean all of these things.
Used to. Now none of those, not even the last, was valid anymore.
But the meaning that had been the most dear to her, the one that it hurt the most to lose, was the one that she now wished had never come about. 'Loyal and Faithful Student of Princess Celestia'. Perhaps, if those words were untrue, what was to come would not seem nearly so painful.
When telling their foals stories at night, parents would be sure to warn them of the dangers of her. When studying Equestrian history, young students would be made to recite a paragraph not of her accomplishments, but of her failures, her shortcomings, her actions. When Celestia took a... different student, she would be sure to watch for some of Twilight's emergent qualities, and systematically eliminate them.
Because the crowd had given her name new meaning. Gone were the titles of care, love, and consideration, given to her over the years of her life. Now, her name meant 'Murderer, Traitor, Monster, Madmare'. Now her name would be spat upon by the lowest of criminals.
Now they were no longer chanting her praise.
Now they were chanting, "Death to Twilight Sparkle."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Justice Avenue, Canterlot
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Twilight Sparkle walked as best she could with the shackles on her hooves. They ground against her skin, damaging nothing but certainly interfering with her movement such that it was a chore just to walk. Compounding this discomfort was her horn, which was now no longer a horn so much as a large bludgeoning tool, given the magic-canceling talisman affixed to it. The caster that had given her this particular one had attuned it just a little too finely, resulting in a sapping of not only her magic but also some of her stamina. These, combined with harsh jostling from the guards at every opportunity and a lower intake of food in the last few days, resulted in a weary prisoner whose every movement was a little harder than the last.
But she would endure. She had to, if for no other reason than keeping her mind occupied with how she held herself would prevent her from dwelling on why they all hated her. She looked over the faces of the booing crowds as she walked towards the district courthouse, where her trial awaited.
She saw a young unicorn filly, holding her own horn and staring upwards at it, as if afraid that what she held would turn around and bite her. She saw the foal's parents arguing a few meters away. She saw the mother, a pegasus, point angrily at the unicorn father's horn, and then at their child, and finally at Twilight. Hatred was in her eyes, and with a few unheard words over her shoulder she stomped away, clearly planning to leave the spectacle.
She saw a couple arguing, although this time the mare was a unicorn and the stallion was an earth pony. The two were clearly in a heated fight, and the mare lifted her head up high, as if to strike the stallion. Terrified, he looked up at her, his eyes following her horn and filled with the fear of death itself. Others in the crowd saw this as well, and within seconds the mare was on the ground, groaning from where several hooves had impacted with her side.
And lastly, she saw another old unicorn, his face wizened with age and scarred from working with magic. He stared at her, without hatred, fear or contempt. Instead, all she found was pity. She looked into his eyes, and found a soul that simply could not understand what she had done, so much so that it could not even begin to hate her. She found a soul that looked - green?
Without any time to even flinch, Twilight was sent reeling from a blow to her jaw, delivered from a pegasus wing that had moved swiftly across the barrier on her left side. Instantly, the guards on either side of her stopped their marching and brought their spears down, leveling them not at first to the green pegasus that had delivered the blow, but at her. They swiftly adjusted their weapons, bringing them back upright, but not before giving the pegasus in question a harsh glare and an even harsher one to her, as if she alone had been responsible. Pushing her back into position, they continued their march towards the building in front of them.
Newsponies waited at the entrance, cameras held at the ready. They all wanted a piece of this story, a chance to report on Twilight, the murderer. Pegasi scrambled above, dodging others who were trying to enforce the no-fly zone above her, and snapped aerial shots that would surely give them an advantage over the other earth-bound reporters. Earth ponies and even one or two brave unicorns jostled each other in a competition to see who could get the closest shot of this tyrant. But the most noticeable thing was the questions shouted at her. "Twilight, why did you do it?", "Twilight, do you regret what you did?", "Twilight, how many have you actually killed?". They all wanted what she had already given them, an explanation.
"Twilight Sparkle, what does Princess Celestia think?"
That caused her head to snap to the right. Her guards, having heard the questions and seeing her reaction, stopped as well. There, a light blue earth pony with a grey mane. She smiled eagerly, knowing that she had hit her mark. She raised her pad and pencil before her, eager to take down any answers given. Her eyes begged for something, anything.
Twilight considered answering her. Considered telling her that Celestia alone was capable of understanding her actions. But then, she thought not of what her mentor was capable of understanding, but what she stood for. What she had taught Twilight every day, the values she had tried to instill. Twilight thought of what her mentor would truly think.
And so, with tears beginning to form and flow down her cheeks, Twilight turned her head and resumed her motion, walking slowly into the courthouse where her sentence awaited.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Canterlot District Courtroom Three, Judge Oak Tenure presiding
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
She stared at the desk in front of her, not daring to look up at the faces around her. She wanted nothing more than for the day to already be over, even though it had barely just begun. Ponies were beginning to crowd into the room, although aside from the ones outside, the newsponies who usually covered these events were noticeably lacking. She tried to believe that Celestia had ordered it as a courtesy to her, that she had wanted to give her former student some modicum of comfort, a chance for a respite from further torture with more questions. But she knew it wasn’t true. The order had been given only to prevent the reporters from being able to access the nobility of Equestria.
She snorted. It would make sense, as the nobility were eager to grovel and please and would only serve to escalate the situation by attacking her further, leaving no room in the public mind for her possible innocence. As if there was any. Some of them might have even called for her early death, advocating skipping the trial and going straight to the executioner’s platform. And despite all that had happened, she knew that Celestia would still stand by some of her virtues, namely that a pony accused of such a crime as hers was innocent until given a fair trial by their peers in a court of law.
Although fair was a relative term at this point.
She watched the crowd. There were a few nobles and government officials she had known in this crowd, nobles she had grown to like. Fancypants, who had given her the first present she ever received inside of the palace grounds. Gilded Sheen, who had taught her all about the history of Equestria symbolized in the ornate architecture and craftsmanship that was spread around the palace. Silver Quill, who had taught her the beautiful art of calligraphy, resulting in a brief and humorous episode of graffiti around the palace grounds. These three, and others, looked back at her not with blatant hatred as the other nobles did, feigned or otherwise. They looked at her with a deep sadness, perhaps asking how she could possibly do it, like everypony else these days. Or maybe they were remembering a small purple filly, bouncing along the corridors, making them all laugh and play even when more pressing matters took precedent.
She also noticed that there was a markedly empty section amongst all of the seats. A rather large section. She wondered at first if more than a few nobles were not in attendance, but then decided that no, everypony was making a point to steer clear of that area. She wondered who it could be for. Most of the important ponies were here; in fact, there was no significant absence of any branch of government or noble house. But it wouldn’t make sense to leave empty seats when more groups could be represented. Why were those seats just left… vacant?
Her thoughts were cut off as the voice of the law clerk rose above the light din in the courtroom. “Hear ye, hear ye, hear ye, the Equestrian District Court for the Central District of Equestria, Canterlot Division, is now in session. The honorable Oak Tenure presiding. Long live the Equestrian kingdom and this honorable court. May we forever remember our fallen Princess.” At this last line, the clerk clearly choked, struggling to hold back tears. A murmur of agreement and sympathy spread throughout the crowd.
Oak Tenure sat down at the bench, and began the only case on trial today. “Calling case number 21CR78382, Twilight Sparkle versus The Citizens of Equestria.”
And so the trial of the pony who had betrayed those that loved her as a friend, a sister, and a student, began.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Canterlot District Courtroom Three, Judge Oak Tenure presiding, four days after the beginning of Twilight Sparkle v. The Citizens of Equestria
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The trial had gone just about as she had expected it to go. Due to the sheer destructiveness of the spell she had used, and the magical nature of her… target, there were few witnesses who could actually claim to have been there when the disaster happened. A few pegasi could claim to have seen the magical blast light up the ground from far away, pulsing with the same hue as her horn. And unicorn investigators could give a positive ID on the magical signature as being directly from her. But no direct witnesses of the attack had shown up in the first three days of the trial.
Twilight was almost beginning to count her blessings; if they had not found any witnesses then she would not be further reminded of what she had done. She didn’t care about winning the case, there was absolutely no chance of that. She just didn’t want to see the direct result of her handiwork.
Then, when her defense was to begin, some of the survivors were brought in not as witnesses, but as members of the crowd.
They had limped in, at least those that could. One or two, such as Bon Bon, had suffered such terrible trauma that they needed a wheelchair to be moved in, legs completely shattered or spines rendered unusable. The others suffered similar, if less impairing, wounds. One unicorn, Green Tapestry if Twilight remembered her name correctly, had all of her fur singed off and several burn marks along her body, shivering in a coat provided to her by the court. Another had a charred and blackened surface where the right side of his face should have been, and clearly had trouble working his jaw open and closed. One pegasi had stumps where her wings used to be. And one earth pony walked in, nothing about him harmed except for the fact that his left hind leg was missing, replaced by a partial harness with a wheel.
These citizens, these ponies, these victims had come into the room, instantly silencing everypony and even giving the judge pause in moving along the proceedings. Everpony watched, mesmerized, as they made their way to the space that had obviously been reserved for them. A few nobles paled at some of the more horrific injuries, visibly wanting to leave. But none dared to break the hold of the grim spectacle before them.
Action finally occurred when Mrs. Cake, at the back of the line, moved into the courtroom. She had obviously been crying heavily, tear stain tracks matted her cheeks and her coat had not been groomed in days. Her entire body seemed to be moving low to the ground, as if her spirit was unwilling to lift itself up.
Her eyes, however, changed when they saw Twilight. First, a flash of recognition, their eyes finding each other at the exact same time. Then, as fast as lightning, that recognition turned to hatred. But this was not the hatred of one who had simply seen buildings and friends obliterated, it was more than that. This was a hatred born of seeing one’s life companion vanish in the blink of an eye. The hatred of seeing one’s livelihood turned to ashes, with only a husk remaining and not a prayer of salvation.
The hatred of a mother, who had lost her foals.
With a fury in her eyes burning hotter than Celestia’s sun, Mrs. Cake attempted to launch herself at Twilight, uncaring of the rail or the guards in between them. The guards moved to stop her, establishing a loose screen in between the crowd and Twilight as Mrs. Cake finished moving past the rail. With an anguished cry she threw herself against the guard’s armor, trying to duck underneath their bodies or find purchase in their group so she could climb over. They refused to budge, however, and she was soon left sobbing against their forms, hooves pounding at their armor slowly. With a low voice, the judge asked the guards to please remove her from the court, and they began to ease her back towards the exit.
She cried out, voice strong at first but then falling in intensity as she approached the door and ran out of energy.
“H-Her! That is her! Kill the mare who took my husband! She deserves to d-die, she needs to pay for what she did! I have n-nothing, my husband is dead and my life’s work is gone! And my foals…” At this, her voice dropped especially low, only the deathly silence of the courtroom allowed her to be heard. “My foals… Oh Pound Cake, oh Pumpkin Cake, my babies… You killed them!” She shouted directly at Twilight. “They were the world to me! I loved them so much, and now they’re gone! I never even got to hear them say their first words, oh…”
With a final, gentle push, the guards moved her outside of the courtroom, and shut the door. They returned to their stations, eyes staring straight ahead, although Twilight saw at least one set beginning to form tears. With a slow pace, the court resumed the trial, and her defense began.
It was laughable at best. The magical signature i.d. test was usually more than enough to get a pony convicted, so unequivocal was its conclusion. They could not fight that. There were only a few unicorns in Ponyville who had a characteristic purple hue, and none had either the motive or the sheer magical power necessary to accomplish what had happened. It did not help that her extensive training could not be denied or mitigated, so thorough was it. And on top of it all, her attorney, assigned by the court, clearly had no interest in seeing her exonerated. His amount of research done was exactly zero, his cross-examination during the prosecution phase had been a joke, and his planning of their defense phase was a few scribbled notes made more to look busy than anything. Within two hours, her defense was almost at a close. Only one element remained.
With a breath, Twilight got to her hooves after having them unshackled and moved to stand in front of the jury, which up to this point in the trial had been exceedingly passive. No stares of hate met her gaze, only stony resolution to remain impassive to what was to come. At least something in the trial was fair. She prepared her thoughts, and began.
“Ladies and gentlecolts of the jury, I stand before you accused of a grave crime. I stand before you accused of regicide. I have no defense. You have seen the evidence before you; I can find no fault in its integrity, or its indication of my own guilt. I do not deny that I committed the acts I am accused of. I only ask that you understand. What I did, I did for Equestria. The victim in question violated her own principles, and those of our society. She went against everything this noble court sta – “
At this, a voice in the crowd behind her let out an angry cry. “Blasphemy! Execute her at once! She is slandering the name of our Princess! Kill her, kill her!”
Oak Tenure immediately swung down his gavel, silencing the lone voice. “QUIET! I will have order!” He glared down at the crowd, daring another to speak up. “The next pony who cries out will be immediately removed from this courtroom!” He then looked to Twilight. "That being said, Ms. Sparkle, I demand that you refrain from unduly slandering the name of the victim, one whom you have already admitted to killing, might I add. Keep your speech restricted to your own actions.”
Twilight nodded before continuing. “I stand before you a guilty mare. My actions are clear for all to see, and I do not wish to delay punishment. However, I want to set the record straight. I speak to you not as a criminal, unrepentant of her actions,” she began to look every single juror in the eyes as she spoke, “but as a mare who feels every bit of emotion that you all do. I stand before you and I say that I have lost not one, but two dear friends. And I want to tell you something you may not believe. Something nopony may ever believe. I want you to know…”
With this she turned back to the crowd, watching all of their faces stare back at her, unblinking, waiting for her final admission. She raised her voice, hoping that Mrs. Cake was waiting outside of the door, listening.
“…that I’m sorry.” At this last word she cast a longing look at the gem that lay simply on the judge’s bench.
With that, she walked back to her assigned spot in the courtroom and allowed herself to be re-shackled, watching as everypony murmured upon what she had said before Oak Tenure used his gavel once more.
“Enough! Defense, do you rest your case?”
Her attorney gave her a hard sideways glance, as if he felt that her speech had been too forward, and then stood up. “Yes your honor, we do.”
“Very well. Jury, you have heard both sides of the case, and I would remind you that you are under oath to not discuss any of the case proceedings outside of this courtroom. I advise you to consider carefully all that you have heard throughout this trial, and I now dismiss you to the deliberation room, where you are to go over these proceedings until you reach a verdict on all counts.”
With a large shuffling of hooves, all the ponies of the jury stood up and made their way towards the designated chamber, looking at nothing but the wall as they made their way to the entrance. Twilight watched them go, knowing in her heart what the decision would be. With such strong evidence, what other choice did they have? She could only hope that her speech, taken on record, would show her to be something more than the heartless monster everypony thought her to be. Perhaps, someday, somepony would look back at the case and wonder if she was not, in fact, happy that she had done the whole thing. If maybe she had indeed harbored some regret, small as they might imagine it. Some day.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Canterlot District Courtroom Three, Judge Oak Tenure presiding, four hours later
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
With a click, the doors leading to the deliberation chamber opened, and everypony within the courtroom sat upright, staring at the jurors as they began to file in and take their seats. Twilight noticed that some of them cast angry glances at each other, and a few seemed very reluctant to sit next to each other, as if they had been in an intense argument. She wondered at that. One would think that the vote for her death would be unanimous. Perhaps, against all odds, there had been elements there during the deliberation that were unwilling to go that far?
After they had completed the appropriate procedures for welcoming the jury back into the courtroom, Oak Tenure cleared his throat and spoke to a member of the jury, a maroon pegasus. “Mister forecolt, has the jury reached a verdict?”
The forecolt stood up and looked straight at the judge, speaking steadily. “Yes your honor. As for count one, on the charge of mass slaughter of three thousand, five hundred and forty-eight citizens of Ponyville, Equestria, we the jury find Twilight Sparkle guilty . On count two, the fracturing of the Elements…”
Twilight let his voice drown out. It did not matter anymore. She looked further at the jury, wondering what each of them had said. Obviously, some had acted in her defense. But who? There was the businessman, but he looked to be at ease with his neighbors. The mare, perhaps, since she probably had foals of her own and would not want to make a mother go through the grief of losing a child like this, even after Mrs. Cake’s outburst. It wasn’t likely, but possible. Or maybe the well-aged stallion there at the end, probably content with his life and not wanting to deny anypony a chance at theirs. If that was the case, he was sorely mistaken. Even if she were not sentenced to death, her life would be one of misery, lived out in the most wretched of Equestria’s prisons.
The forecolt’s voice came back “…we the jury find Twilight Sparkle guilty.”
The judge nodded. “And what is your decided punishment?”
The forecolt looked once at his fellow jurors, before moving his gaze and fixing it on the wooden rail in front of him. “We the jury decide upon the death penalty for these crimes, your honor.”
The crowd murmured their agreement, although it was not as unanimous as it might have been days before.
Oak Tenure swallowed. “Your decision on the death penalty is noted. What manner of death is elected?” Under the Equestrian legal system, there were several ways in which a pony could be sentenced to death. They ranged from the lightest, tearing down any magical barriers that the subject had and literally stopping their brain activity, to the harshest, death by hanging, an archaic holdover from the very ancient times. Nopony had bothered to abolish any of the harsher options, however, since hanging and similar practices had not been used for over a millennium. The death sentence itself had not been given in over three hundred years. Everypony waited for the pronunciation.
With a deep breath, the jury forecolt spoke. “Your honor, we elect death by hanging, to occur no less than twenty-four hours from now.” Gasps rang out inside of the courtroom. They had all demanded death, and none would dare to violate the choosing of this particular option, but the use of such a draconian measure was unimaginable, even to those in the crowd who had studied history and knew how common hanging was back in the old times before harmony and even Discord. A few ponies found themselves, reluctantly, wondering whether this had been the right course of action after all.
Twilight, for her part, now knew exactly what had caused the jury to conflict with itself earlier.
Oak Tenure nodded slowly, shaken but unwilling to let it hamper him. “Very well. I will now remind the court that in a situation like this the Fifth Order of the Equestrian Princesses takes effect. All ponies who have been sentenced to execution must have their death sentence approved by a Royal Princess of Equestria, after the Princess has been duly notified and made aware of all proceedings. The Princess may, in light of the evidence, reject the death sentence and call a new trial for the pony being prosecuted. Princess Celestia?” He looked at the gem resting in front of him. “If you would, please?”
With a flash and a small crack, Princess Celestia appeared in front of the judge’s bench, eyes laying only on Twilight. Anypony who had been paying casual attention would have thought nothing remiss. Her mane flowed as always, her coat was its pristine alabaster color, and her pose held its usual elegant form. However, Twilight, and others who paid close enough attention, saw differently. They saw her eyes, bloodshot with clear bags underneath, pools of misery for any who stared into them. Her wings, usually clean and free of any imperfections in the feathers, had obviously not been preened in some time, feathers bent out of position and slightly dirty. And her crown, always straight, leaned to the side, and seemed slightly chipped, as if she had thrown it at something. Hard.
Celestia looked towards the judge. “Yes, your honor?”
Oak Tenure gestured to Twilight. “She stands before us accused and convicted of multiple crimes. The sentence elected via the jury is death by hanging. Have you had time to adequately review the evidence?”
Celestia looked at Twilight’s attorney, causing him to wilt a little in his seat. “Yes your honor.” She pointed to the gem that lay in front of Oak Tenure. “For the record of the court, I have used this viewing gem to observe the trial. I believe I have enough information to make a sound verdict.”
The judge nodded. “And what is your verdict, Princess Celestia?”
Celestia looked out over the crowd. Everypony waited to hear her decision. This was Twilight’s only chance at salvation. If Celestia refuted the death penalty now, an entirely new trial would have to be held again, with an entirely new jury and – hopefully – an entirely new attorney. If she rejected the death penalty, Twilight might still be able to get out of this alive. She might yet go on, although she wasn’t sure how good of an option that was.
Celestia then looked at Twilight. In an instant, countless emotions were communicated, as can only be done through the bond of a mother and daughter, a student and a mentor. Twilight understood everything that Celestia had undergone throughout the centuries, the actions she regretted, the feelings she harbored for all of her subjects. She felt Celestia’s deep remorse for all that had come to pass. And she felt her sorrow, deep and nigh everlasting, at what she had lost, and was about to lose.
Keeping her eyes locked with Twilight’s, and with a voice so controlled and emotionless that it seemed to be made of stone, Princess Celestia spoke. “I, Princess Celestia, former Diarch and now Monarch of Equestria, Alicorn of the Sun, approve the sentencing of Twilight Sparkle, daughter of Twilight Velvet and Night Light, to death by hanging. I approve this sentencing for the mass execution of three thousand, five hundred and forty-eight of my subjects. I approve this sentencing for the fracturing of the Elements of Harmony, one of the most powerful magical tools in this land. And I approve this sentencing for the murder of the other former Diarch of Equestria, Alicorn of the Night, my beloved sister, Princess Luna.”
i'm sorry but i can see discord standing for her, or possibly the crystal empire making various political threats even an embargo and war if celestia goes down this path, what she wants isn't justice it's vengence.
vengence makes for a bad ruler.
Holy shit balls.
3859741 I'm sorry, but what exactly do you mean? Vengeance implies that the subject is undeserving of the full brunt of the punishment. Besides which, Twilight is not an alicorn in this one; she holds no special political importance. And also, while I agree that Celestia's path is never one of vengeance, to deny Twilight's death implies atrocious favoritism, even corruption. The idea is to both portray Twilight's death as tragic, and to justify it.
I would say that I need to know why Twilight did what she did and to figure out whether or not she really killed princess Luna. before I decided on a punishment.
3859764 far greater atrocities have been swept under the rug because of what said actions prevented.
twilight essentialy magi-nuked ponyville i get that, but she did it to stop a mad alicorn, an alicorn with a history of madness. if the crown where to actualy consider the implications of such a creature it would easily be said that twilight should be banished or exiled not executed.
i realise this twilight isn't a princess, she is however the sister of prince shining armor and sister in law to princess mi amore cadenze of the soverign crystal empire. so she does have political standing.
the other thing to consider is how history well tke this, the people of ponyville well consider her a monster, canterlot may too.
historians and history books? not really she'll be looked as a martyr, the one who served celestia faithfully stopping threats to the county and the world, the first of these was princess luna, it well simply be written that fittingly stopping the same monster with whom catapulted her too fame was the beast that caused her to fall. celestia well be the monster, the traitor not twilight.
zebrica, gryphonia, whatever other countries there are well take history's view not celestias.
it's hard to judge the situation without the full picture, I'll definitely follow the next chapters!
Damn.
3859835 I suppose the picture itself is incomplete, but I meant for it to be so. Consider this: How do you actually know that Luna was actually turned/turning into a beast of darkness ?
Hm. That was an interesting one; I like that we don't really see what happened yet, only getting vague accounts. Like the jury, we have to make our minds up based on the evidence given. I rather liked it, I have to say.
3859781 Do you really need to know? I'm actually taking an unofficial poll to decide whether I reveal that or not.
3859910 I am going to ask you the same question I have been asking others: Do you need to know? An unofficial poll, to decide what comes next.
3859922 I would say ... no, I don't *have* to know; I would like to know, of course, but I also like a mystery, and getting to decide stuff for myself.
3859918 if I am to decide the fate of someone I would want to know everything about the situation and why and how it happened. otherwise I might as well be in the same seat as the person being convicted.
so simply yes I need to know.
3859918
I'd say just reveal what you think you need to reveal. If you think the readers will be angry at being "left in the dark" at the end, then it might be best to unveil what really happened. But if you think dropping hints and leaving some things open to interpretation would better suit the allure of your story, then go with that. Many times, leaving things open to interpretation is better, but go with your gut.
So long as the whole thing doesn't feel incomplete.
And great start, by the way. Looking forward to more.
~Arwhale
3859896 call it stupidly blatent trust in twilights morals.
no matter who she's faced killing has never been an option she's considered, her brother was a professional soilder and likely tught her that taking a life isn't something you do easily, also luna was her friend, ponyville was her home, maybe it's just my pinkie sense.
also how does the jury know she wasn't? likely none of them where there.
3859959
Considering that that's one of the most important criteria for being selected to a jury in the first place to avoid bias towards one side or the other... yeah.
Just saying.
3859985 yeah that didn't happen here, the most unbaised person was twilights gaurd. everyone else had deided this case when she walked in. it was in the atmosphere of your writing.
3859939 May we discuss this more in a private message?
3859999
Well, that is definitely true of the bystanders in this story. But if the jury had already decided the case beforehand, then that implies that its members had prior knowledge of the case. Which, in most court systems I know of, is not allowed.
It also was not the case in this story. Quote from the chapter:
Again, just saying.
3859999 But, I wrote this... I... I promise...
But anyways, yes the idea is not to remedy the subject in the eyes of the reader; my intention was to start a story that does not involve exonerating Twilight in the end. The 'crowd effect' is actually quite useful; it sets the tone and general feeling for the scene. Notice how I made sure that Twilight's jury was dispassionate, as a jury is supposed to be. My goal was to show the tragedy of Twilight's death. That is why the story is called 'The Hanging of Twilight Sparkle'.
3860053 sorry that was a mistype
i'm sorry how i come across i'm just making some notes to how i'd see this situation. but surly we can agree when celestia hangs twilight she is going to have a political shitstorm with the empire?
3860067 It's fine, I do that sometimes and I would be a terrible person if I just slandered you for not going along with the story. Yes, there would be very large political troubles, but one thing that I think has always been emphasized by Celestia is that she must be absolutely impartial, one cannot be ruler for over a thousand years if one is capable of blatant favoritism. And truthfully, this is the part I am having difficulty deciding on. I can write for either side, but it is difficult to know whether I should reveal what Twilight did or not. Doing so might explain some things, but it would come at the expense of some, perhaps, thinking that the reason(s) given were not satisfactory. That's really hard to do!
3860117 her 'impartiality' would be called by shining armor she is impartial to her subjects but luna has always been a sensitive area with her.
3860142 Which is actually what this story plays on.
3859854 Thanks, I appreciate it
Hmm, I will watch and see where this goes. You have done an excellent job of setting up the atmosphere of your story, very emotionally driven. Excellently done.
Damn. This was really good. Is there any possibility that we may see a prequel? Maybe see what Luna did to cause Twilight to kill her?
3860253 At this point I am uncertain if I will weave what happened between them into the story or not. I think I could make it work, but sometimes I feel like there's something special in the moments unspoken. As for a prequel, well, I may do one if there is enough demand but I will also do one if (and only if!) I can conjure up something with enough force to actually drive another story. Creating an endless chain of zombie-stories to explain little details has never been a favorite tactic of mine, so if I devise something that powerful then of course it'll happen, but I may just end up adding a story after the ending, detailing what exactly happened between them. We'll see .
3860191 Thank you!
3860339
You should do a prequel. I'm very curious as to why Twilight murdered Luna along with all those other ponies.
3859741
How exactly is punishing those who commit atrocities make you a bad ruler? And vengeance can be justified if it's for a good reason, and in this fic, it was. What would make Celestia a bad ruler would be if she defended Twilight for what she did.
It's well written, but I don't think I should get into a sad story with such a slim timeline. Unless I'm informed that there really is more to this story than just the hanging I think I should steer clear for my own emotional stability.
3861251 Sorry to hear that .
Yeah, when I wrote this I wasn't so much thinking 'one-shot' as 'something that I want done because no one else seems to have done it', because there are surprisingly few stories, I've found, where the goal is to simply establish the death of a character. Very short-sighted, I admit, but I have never liked doing or reading very long, winding stories that I feel do way too much explaining. But anyways, thanks for at least giving the first chapter a read!
3861251 I mean I am planning to add more than just the hanging in terms of character interactions and such (a lot can happen in a jail cell before an execution), but if you're looking for a two-year, expansive storyline, I am sorry to say you will have to look elsewhere.
3861294
I'm not looking for anything like that, but the idea that we're just thrown in with little to no warning, and then everything just keeps going down hill like this. Like I said it's very well written, and it's mainly my own fault for not looking at the tags. I don't normally read these kinds of stories. I can't read knowing that there's no way it will turn around to something I would enjoy, and that's just me. I actually know someone else that might enjoy it more, so I'll be sure to tell him about it.
3861351 Thanks, sorry you can't read it yourself. But i do plan to make other stuff in the future, and that's all I have to say on the subject.
Holy sweet crap i am just...wow this interesting
Left my jaw hanging the entire time... Amazing. I look forward to reading more!
3861563 Thank you!
What the fuck is going on XD
Wow. That was... I really have a hard time saying just what that was. I don't think I've had a story hold me like that for a while, but it wasn't out of excitement or enjoyment of the story, but out of morbid curiosity. This was like watching a car crash unfold from before your eyes, or reading Cupcakes. You want to look away and ignore it completely, but it has your attention ensnared and you have to see what happens. This was a deliciously painful story.
I had no problems with being dropped into the middle of the story, it is a style of story telling to drop the reader in the middle and build the events of the past and future as the story goes. So it was refreshing to get something like that instead of having the past already known and building up the future. (That made more sense in my head). I wonder how Twilight managed to survive that explosion when an Alicorn couldn't and I'm assuming the other Elements were with her as well.
I wonder if this will have a happy ending, or if this will be the ending of Twilight. I know of course you can't answer that. But the possibilities~
3861838 Glad you liked it! Yeah, I'm really thinking on the minute details of this story, I know exactly where I want to go in the grand scene, but the small details are killing me. Writing crowd emotions and general atmosphere I'm okay with, but I am not sure if I am doing personal interactions right, an integral part of the next chapter. And I'm really scared of publishing the next chapter as a test run without having anyone tell me what they think first...
Since you seemed to be interested and willing to provide detailed feedback, would you like an offer?
3861951
Sure. I do quite a bit of freelance work like that.
nuuu Luna!! (good story story)
Me by End of story: KILL HER!!! SHE MURDERED LUNA!!!!!! SHE MUST DIE!!!
Interesting, But the Judiciary system in a Monarchy in fics always ticked me off.
I like to reserve judgment on chaptered stories until I've seen a few chapters. But this, it grabbed me and it just didn't let go. It has been a long, long time since I got sucked into a story as fully as I did this one.
The atmosphere was heavy, the plot was intriguing and the characters alive and vibrant. I don't much care about what comes from the future, but I can say without a doubt I do care about what came from the past. Even if you never reveal it, I think imagining what could have happened that fit into all of the clues you left is a lot of fun.
Luna betrayed the principles on which Equestria was founded. The resulting incident decimated Ponyville and shattered the Elements of Harmony.
We may never know what transpired there, but I know one thing.
You earned this.
24.media.tumblr.com/a257ad5165644b1f79354634dfdee284/tumblr_mqo61uYbwk1rj6vd5o1_400.png
Wear it with pride;
-Lumino
3861251
Yeah, same thing here. Well written, but... god, so depressing. I don't think I want to read anymore.
i think it would be deliciously evil if they kill her then later learn of her innocence
3862469 Thank you very much! That is very much appreciated!!
I disagree with what Lumno said.
I feel there isn't enough to give a true verdict.
Still, might as well take the chance and see where this goes.
Don't disappoint, man.
~Skeeter The Lurker