White Pony Wasted

by 71NYL-5CR4TCH

Roym

Rarity sighed, staring into her bubbling brew of brutal bile, wishing more than anything that she could have a nice martini, or wine. Hell, anything other than this vile concoction this stallion dared pass of as a drink.

There's no way Applejack can really enjoy this...stuff! It's simply dreadful...

Suddenly, Rarity was snapped out of her thought by a loud chanting coming from the opposite end of the bar.

"CHUG! CHUG! CHUG!"

No...

"CHUG! CHUG! CHUG!"

She can't possibly...

"CHUG! CHUG! CHUG!"

Sure enough, as Rarity looked to the source of the chanting she saw AJ, ruthlessly pounding down what appeared to be her 4th mug of beer, before pulling it away from her muzzle, swiping a hoof across her face with a satisfied *ah*.

Oh how undignified! Honestly I don't know what the stallions see in her, she's abhorrent!

I'll show her, Stallions want a real, and proper mare. Not one of themselves with a vagina!

Rarity looked about, and caught the eye of a fair, albeit gruff looking stallion a few chairs down, miraculously not smoking, or partaking in the forceful donning of alcohol poisoning to her friend.

"*Ahem* Excuse moi, dahling, but I was wondering if you'd be oh so chivalrous as to offer me a beverage?"

The stallion looked at her, and grunted, "Lahdy, Ah dinnt ondahsthand a fookin word ah watcha just said, boot if yah ahskin me ta getcha a pint, ah'd recommend yah finish yer first one."

"Oh, well, yes, it just seems to be a bit *hem* rough for me...is there anything here that's a bit more...um...girly?"

The stallion stared at Rarity, seeming to process what she had said.

"Lahdy, are ya tryin ta tell me ya normally LIEK the taste a booze?"

"Well, normally it isn't so...harsh."

"Miss, yeve come to ah place where stallions and mares come ta drink there problems away, not sip n socialize. The taste oh th' drink is normahlly the leest of their concerns."

"I see...well how do you get past the, um, taste, regardless?"

"Ah don't taste it. Ah just sort of open mah throat and let it pour in."

"Oh so kind of like giving a-"

"Wut?"

"What."

"...."

"*ahem* wellthanksfortheadvice. Gottagobye."

"Wait, miss..."

"Hm?"

"Finish thaht there drink, and ah'll getcha anoother one."

"Um, yes...thanks."

Rarity did as the Scottish pony said, using magic to pinch her nose, she opened up her throat and began to pour. The taste was cut significantly, and she could feel the cool foamy liquid running down her throat. Sure and soon enough, the pint glass was empty.

"Ugh...well, that wasn't so bad..."

The bar was silent.

Applejack looked at Rarity, jaw agape.

"Rares, ah'm surprised you could actually...put that away...guess miss pretty pony has a chance after all...if she could get a stallion..."

"Ah'll give 'er a drink!" The Scotstallion said loudly, "Th' poor things just lost 'er job!" He leaned down to Rarity's ear, "ah heard yah bet earlier, and ah know for a bloody good fact that she aint boockin any o' them. So she wansa cheat? We cheat too. Eh?"

Rarity cleared her throat, "Um, well, I-"

"Ahh don't speak yah poor lass. Just keep drinkin till it don't hurt so bad any more!"

Suddenly, the flock of stallions left Applejack high and dry, murmuring quiet 'I'm so sorry' s and 'You'll find a new place'.

A sudden river of booze came across rarity in the forms of beers and whiskey's, all from stallions looking to be her knight in shining armor.

The scotstallion winked at Rarity, "Ah'm rootin for yah. Names Roym, by the way."

Rarity whispered, "Thank you, but why? Why are you doing this?"

"Ya know ye friend, Applejack, was it?"

"Yes..?"

"Well she threw up on me date aboot a few years ago, and told her she was takin me! So consider this a bit a payback."

Rarity giggled, "Wel, thank you, Roym, I'll do my best."

Rarity faced the crowd and put on a smile, "Thank you all so much, it means so much to me that you'll all help me forget my woes in such time of need...with that...

LET'S GET WASTED!!!"

Comments

[Rainbow87dash]

So whats Twi and RD doing during this? They sat at the back of the bar watching em?

[SolidBlackPanda]

3753923 Rainbow is probably laughing her ass off and Twilight is trying to come up with the best way to deal with the inevitable hangovers.

[Rainbow87dash]

3765186 that seems very likely

[Stunt Monkey]

Alright, I finally got around to reading it! Nice work! I love the dialogue of the scot, looking forward to another chapter!

[YukoAsho]

3753923 Two? Hiding. RD? Laughing.

Moving on...

I'll show her, Stallions want a real, and proper mare. Not one of themselves with a vagina!

Best. Line. Ever.

And to think it comes from a made who wants herself with a penis.

[Ralfil]

I give it a thumbs up for comedic value, but I probably wont follow it.

[A Soul In Limbo]

I'd follow it! This is looking to be a pretty darn funny story! I just have to wonder what Rainbow and Twilight have been doing since they entered the bar. :\

[Eclipse LunarSol]

White Boy Wasted!

[NeverKnown]

Same as Marnssj.

[Hillbe]

Rarity awoke after the chug fest ,
Spike was down stairs cleaning up her vomited mess , "What a gentlecolt he is, Always my knight in shining armor!"

She was sick for a few weeks and visited her doctor..... "I have the results of your tests"

"SPIKEY you black hearted knight wait till I get my hooves on you!"

"Wha sup Rarity?" "I'm pregnant !" "SPIKE!"

"What?" "She asked for it" " Twice"