• Published 6th Jan 2014
  • 20,335 Views, 948 Comments

Rise of Sunbutt the Awesome - BobAlcove

Princess Celestia is the paragon of everything good and pure. And currently not available. Hi my name is Frank, the new guy in charge of this body and I'm here to fulfill all your princess needs. At least until I find something better to do.

  • ...

Ich bin ein Ber... ponyvillianer...

The next day…

Mayor Mare stood behind the podium on stage and in front of Ponyville Town Hall. This morning, she received a small note from the princess to organize a town meeting. Not wanting to risk disappointing her highness, she gathered the citizens of Ponyville in record time.

The crowd, now several hundred strong, was waiting to hear for what reason this spontanious gathering was issued. Between all those ponies, were three mares with different looks on their face.

A yellow pegasus with a pink mane had a look of embarrassment and shame. The next was a pink earth pony, wearing a neck brace and sporting two black eyes, looking grumpy. The last of them, a purple alicorn, just looked confused.

Twilight had finally overcome the embarrassment of the encounter with the princess and was ready to face her.

Only to get a visit from a frantic Applejack and Rarity, who told her that Fluttershy sent Pinkie to the hospital. After she was left alone drunk from the princess and destroyed Fluttershy's home with a cannon.

Twilight felt like in a funny dream, where nothing made sense but nobody acknowledged it.

She looked over at Pinkie and could see, that she was still a bit wobbly on her hooves. “Pinkie are you sure, you should walk around already? The doctor said, you had a pretty severe head trauma”

Pinkie glanced at Twilight, not turning her head because of the neck brace and then at Fluttershy, who flinched when she noticed the steely glance she was getting.

“I'm fine Twilight,” said Pinkie turning her attention to the podium, “according to Nurse Redheart there shouldn't be any lasting brain damage from the beating, I got from one of my best friends”

Fluttershy cringed and Twilight stepped in.

“Come on Pinkie no reason to argue, I thought we settled this. Mistakes were made on both sides. You got drunk and destroyed Fluttershy's home and she went overboard in beating you up”

Pinkie didn't turn. “I'm not arguing with her. If I did, Flutterthug over there would probably send me to the hospital again”

Twilight frowned. “What happened to the always happy and positive Pinkie?”

“I think she punched that right out of me, in addition to the ability to dream in color,” said Pinkie in a monotone voice, before loudly snorting snot up her nose.

Pinkie spat unceremonically on the ground and Twilight shared uncomfortable glances with Fluttershy.

“So anyway, any idea where Rarity, Applejack and Rainbow Dash are?”

Fluttershy, happy to be able to say something, answered in an instant.

“I've met Cheerilee from her way from school and she said they had to come to get Applebloom, Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo. I believe she said something about a fight. The poor fillies, I hope they are alright!”

“Yeah, now you suddenly care about the wellbeing of others...”



Meanwhile at Sweet Apple Acres…

“Ouch… Applejack my ear, stop pulling so hard!”

The door of the farm house flew open and Applejack dragged a distraught Applebloom inside by the ear with her teeth.

Once inside, Applejack let go of Applebloom and the little filly dropped on the floor, rubbing her ear.

“Geez Applejack, was it really neccessary to drag me all the way home? I could have walked on my own you know”

Applejack glared at Applebloom and the little filly quickly closed her mouth. “You can count yourself lucky, I didn’t rip it off after the thing you pulled today in school. What were you thinking, beating up Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon?”

“I only hit Diamond Tiara. Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo shared Silver Spoon”

“Not the point young filly!” said Applejack stomping with her hoof, “and for that alone, you are grounded and no crusading for two weeks!”

“Yeah I figured,” said Applebloom walking past Applejack to the stairs.

“I don’t want to hear any… what?”

Applejack had been ready for their usual argument, where Applebloom pledged innocence and whined about Applejack being unfair to her. She was not prepared for Applebloom simply accepting her punishment, as if it doesn’t faze her.

“I’m in my room, call me when it’s time for my punishment chores”

Applebloom went up the stairs and a speechless Applejack could hear a door open and close. No tantrum, no argument and no door slamming.

“What the hay…?”

Inside her room, Applebloom laid on her bed staring at the ceiling. On her desk was the half written letter to Babs, in which she wanted to tell her what happened yesterday and in what direction the Cutie Mark Crusaders would go as of now.

Starting with a new name, the three of them weren’t able to choose yet. That was also the reason she hadn't finished the letter until now.

Applebloom thought about the earlier argument with Diamond Tiara and the following hoof-fight. She threw a few punches straight up through the air, when she remembered certain scenes in their encounter.

She had done it. With her own hooves she had accomplished, what no adult was able to do. Shutting up Diamond Tiara. There would be consequences no doubt, she knew that.

But nonetheless she got a huge smile on her face. “So worth it”

...Carrousel boutiqe…

After an earful from Rarity and the promise her parents would hear from this, Sweetie Belle got a similar treatment like Applebloom, being sent to her room. But instead of idly laying around, she decided to do something.

“...thirty-two, thirty-three, thirty-four…”

Something like practising to levitate her chair up and down.

She would get it arguably the worst in terms of punishment, because she actually used magic to fight Silver Spoon. Sweetie Belle didn't knew she had it in herself, but there she had been halfway through the fight and tasing the crap out of Silver Spoon with her horn.

“...fifty-six, fifty-seven…”

Silver Spoon had her pinned down on the ground, ready to pounce. Sweetie Belle was scared and had never been in a fight until then. More out of instinct than actual thought, she had poked Silver Spoon with her horn and just let go.

With shocking results and a smoking Silver Spoon.

“... ninety-two, ninety-three...”

Now she was asking herself, what else she could do if she put her mind to it.

...ponyvile ice cream parlor…

“And then the princess made me a Wonderbolt, can you believe it?”

Scootaloo sat there with Rainbow Dash, licking her ice cream and laughing internally.

Scootallo first thought, she would be in trouble like Applebloom and Sweetie Belle. But shortly after Rainbow had picked her up, she started to ramble about being a Wonderbolt soon.

Halfway to the orphanage, Scootaloo had offered Rainbow Dash to treat her to ice cream from Frank’s money, to celebrate the good news. Something Rainbow Dash happily accepted.

Two cups of ice cream and several Wonderbolt anecdotes later, Rainbow Dash had already forgotten why she picked up Scootaloo in the first place.

“I will be all like ‘Swoosh!’ and they will be like ‘OOOHH!’ and then I will be like ‘yeah I'm awesome!’”

“Wow, she really is not the brightest, isn’t she?” thought Scootaloo eating her ice cream, “I mean she is an awesome flyer, super cool and nice, but for Celestia’s sake she is getting outsmarted by a little filly!”

“Not sure, I want to be like that…,” mumbled Scootaloo, seeing her idol in a new light.

“You said something squirt?” said Rainbow Dash going cross-eyed and licked some cream from her nose.

Scootaloo shook her head. “No nothing, Rainbow Dash. I’ve got to go now though. Tell me the rest another time ok?”

“Sure thing Scoots, see ya!”

Scootaloo got up from her seat and left, waving goodbye. She turned the corner and looked at Rainbow Dash from afar.

“One, two, three...”

Rainbow Dash stopped eating her ice cream midbite, looking blankly ahead before slamming her hooves on the table.

“Crusaders! Fight! Ah buck it I forgot!”

Scootaloo deadpanned. “Really not that bright”

…back at the Ponyville Town Hall...

Frank was entering the stage, taking position behind the podium. With pleasure he noticed that Twilight, Fluttershy and Pinkie were in the crowd. He also noticed the stink eye, he was getting from Pinkie. At least Frank thought it was a stink eye, he couldn’t be sure because of it being black and swollen.

He harrumphed loudly and his face went serious.

“Citizens of Ponyville, time is short. As we speak a meteor, the size of manehattan is heading for Equestria. It will destroy anything and anyone on this planet. In collaboration with diamond dog delegates, I was able to build an underground bunker sturdy enough to withstand the blast. It has limited space though, so only the smartest, strongest and over all most valuable ponies are allowed entrance and continued existence. Their job will be to repopulate and re-civilize the planet”

He looked stony-faced into the crowd of now pale and dead silent ponies. Parents were holding their little fillies and Frank could swear he seen some of them faint.

Frank couldn’t surpress it any longer and started laughing, leaning heavily onto the podium hammering it with his hoof. “You should see your faces! I couln’t resist, I’m sorry!”

There were some scattered nervous laughs from the crowd.

“Ok, that was kinda funny. I give her that, but that doesn’t mean I forgive her,” said Pinkie with a little smirk on her face.

“No but seriously,” said Frank after catching his breath and wiping the tears out of his eyes, “I have an announcement to make which will affect all of Ponyville. Summer Sun Celebration is getting closer and I have found a flaw in it”

The crowd gasped on the prospect of their celebration, not meeting the standards of their princess.

“It’s only one day and that’s way to little to celebrate such an important event. So I decided to turn the Summer Sun Celebration into the Summer Sun Carnival!”

Frank got confused murmurs from the audience, but he could see Pinkie’s eyes sparkle all the way to where he stood.

“It will last the whole week, a monumental event with the glorious finale at the original day of Summer Sun Celebration. There will be many events that are already planned, but I’m sure our local party expert would be happy to contribute her ideas and put her unique spin on it. Unlimited budget of course!”


Frank patiently waited for Pinkie to stop cursing and writhing in pain on the floor and then continued.

“We will start tomorrow with setting up the booths and decorations, finishing the first day with the ‘Summer Sun Opening Costume Party’. Free drinks for everypony in costume!”

The crowd exploded in cheers and stomped with their hooves, while Frank left the stage waving.

“that’s all folks, more tomorrow I guess. You can go back to your work now or whatever it is you do!”

The crowd dispersed and the ponies were heatedly talking with each other, imagining what the following day would bring. Until Frank grinned and walked back to the podium saying something in a singsong voice.

“Unless some of you want to stay and hear me talk about my memories of filly Twilight Sparkle?”

Some people say in certain extreme situations, time seemingly had slowed down for them. Like a person watching an imminent car crash or seeing something fall towards them. This was something Twilight experienced right now.

“...So many? Well it all started, when I found her playing in the royal dumpster…”

Not able to form a coherent thought, she just watched the lips of her mentor moving in slow motion, every syllable smacking her like a jackhammer.

“... after I bought Twilight from her parents for a sack of sunflower seed…”

This couldn’t be happening. Princess Celestia was publicly embarassing her with false stories of her childhood. This must be a bad dream!

Twilight punched herself in the face.

“... wetting the bed until she graduated from high school…”

It was no dream. But why? Celestia wouldn’t do that to her, not her caring and benevolent idol. This was like watching an imposter, playing Celestia badly.


Twilight’s eyes went wide and without noticing, her hooves carried her to the podium.

“... and after unsuccessfully burning the soaked… Arggh!”

The eyes of the whole audience went wide and they gasped in shock, when a purple blast smacked Frank right in the face and he flew backwards through the curtain of the stage.

“Charade is over changeling! This spell of mine in addition of doing damage, also breaks your disguise!”

Twilight jumped on stage, flared her wings and ripped the curtain aside. “Come forth coward and answer for your crimes!”

And her blood ran cold.

Leaning against the wall of the town hall, was a bloody Frank still in Celestia’s body. A nasty looking gash on his head and eyes open, not moving and breathing flatly.

“Oh my god she killed the princess!” screamed an older mare from the crowd.

In panic, Twilight ran to Frank to shake him. “Princess Celestia, say something!”

Frank stirred slowly and his eyes focused on the purple alicorn. The following words out of his mouth were hoarse and barely audible.

“...Twilight my precious student…”

Tears started to stream down Twilights cheeks. “Princess, I’m sorry I didn’t mean to…”

“I cherished the time, we had together. Would you listen to my last words?” said Frank putting a hoof sluggishly on her head.

“Of course princess, anything for you!”

Frank stared deep in Twilight’s eyes with a sorrowful look on his face.

Which turned instantly in a deadpan look, when he bopped her nose with his hoof.


Twilight yelped in surprise and stumbled backwards. When she got up, Frank was already on his hooves again, healing his gash with magic and removing the blood from his coat.

He took a huge theatrically bow to the crowd and smiled.

“Citizens of Ponyville, I hope you enjoyed the little act which my former student and I prepared for your amusement!”

Frank stepped beside Twilight and turned her to the silent crowd, before whispering with clenched teeth and forcing a smile.

“Smile for the crowd Twilight, they are this close to hang you for treason!”

Twilight tried to, but it looked more like baring her teeth at them than anything else.

“Needs work but it will do for now. I will forgive you this time, because I had it coming”

Frank waved to the now cheering crowd with a smile, but was still talking quietly to Twilight, so only she could hear it. “But believe me, the next time you pull something like that, I will show you personally how much of the real deal I am. Did I make myself clear?”

“Yes princess,” said Twilight still forcing a smile for the crowd.

“Good girl, now laugh like I said something funny and then we will end this on a high note”


“Note to self, don’t mess with Twilight for a while,” thought Frank rubbing his head on the way back to the ship.

He had made it look harmless, but the truth was that blast had almost killed him. The prospect of an angry super-powered Twilight out for his head, wasn’t something he was looking forward to.

“It’s so much fun to tease her though, what a shame…”

A sudden shiver ran down his spine and he looked around, feeling like he was being watched. His eyes fell on a lonely figure staring him in the face.

One eye at least.

“Hello Derpy, how can I help you?”

Two envelopes were wordlessly smacked in his face. He picked the letters up from the ground and could see Derpy leave out of the corner of his eyes.

“One more for my ‘ponies who hate Frank list’ I guess,” thought Frank opening the first letter.

Frank could barely read it. The penmanship of the letter was terrible and had crossed out words all over.

Dear Ounty Aunty,

hOw are you? I’m fine.

Moonbutt Luna is mean to me, but having all that extra stuff makes it all good again. My new bed is twice as big as before and is really fUn to jump on.

I’mh struggling through the meetings and sametimes sometimes I forget how to arrange certain words or how they should sound like.

BUt thEn I remember the little eXercises and prepared phrases you dought taught me, when I was liTTle and the words come home back to me.

I’m doing me my best and I hOpe this letter is readable. Nopepony was there to check it for me, because you usually do that for my me.

But you know that.


Plueblod Blueblood

Frank put down the letter with eyes as big as saucers. This revelation and his misjudgement of the snooty Prince Blueblood hit him completetly out of left field.

He thought Blueblood was your run-of-the-mill rich jerk, but the truth could not have been further away. The expensive clothes, the excessive amount of ships and the blatant showing-off of his stuff looked way differently, once you look at it from the point of a kid being happy about his toys.

The reason Blueblood behaved like a spoiled little child, was because he mentally was one.

A grownup pony with the mind of a child, who learned to be part of the upper crust, despite being mentally behind most of them. Of course he would be egotistical and inconsiderate to others, which kid wasn’t from time to time?

“I’m so glad I did something nice for him, otherwise I would feel horrible right now”

He hoped the second letter would be more cheery, or else Frank would be in desperate need of a stiff drink.

Dear Princess Celestia,

We can’t thank you enough for anything you have done for our family.
Your generosity, enabled a life in wealth and prosperity for us.

Should you ever need help, don’t forgot you have friends in us.

best regards

The Iron Family

Frank looked at the enclosed picture, a family photo with at least thirty minotaurs of all ages smiling and the male ones flexing their muscles. Scratching his head, he put the letters away and continued his walk.

Despite the little incident with Twilight and the revelation about Blueblood, everything went just as planned. The pieces were set and now the only thing he had to do was to follow through with the next step.

He sighed heavily, looking in the sky. It would be easier, if he wouldn't be so bad at it.

“Now comes the difficult part...”

Canterlot Castle later that afternoon…

“I don’t think that strangling Prince Blueblood did help to bring the point across, your Highness,” said Trusty walking besides a livid Luna.

“Maybe not, but it helped me all the more,” said Luna and stopped before her chambers, “did you hear how he talked to me? Like I was five years old!”

She kicked the door open in frustration and it flew off the hinges. Luna shrugged, she would get that fixed tomorrow, today she just didn’t care anymore.

“I call it in for today Trusty, no more visitors. I will lower the sun from my balcony”

“As you wish princess”

Luna entered her room and put the door provisorily back in it’s place with her magic.

The last days without her sister and as ruling entity, have been nothing short than a nightmare. Endless negotiations and meetings, bickering fools and snooty nobles with Prince Blueblood as their number one spokespony and no recognition for her efforts from anypony.

Also some sort of construction work had started in the castle, which wouldn’t stop even at night and didn’t let her sleep very well. When she asked what the purpose was, the workers only said it was for the improvement of the castle.

The castle was pretty old, so Luna didn’t question it any further.

She was more than once tempted to just call it quits, but then Luna would remember the encouraging words of her sister and powered through all obstacles. She would also sometimes remember the steamier part of their conversation and get flustered, before banishing it into the back of her mind.

Her thoughts were interrupted, when a familiar flash lit up her room and a scroll appeared before her. Recognizing it as a letter from her sister, she opened it eagerly to find out, how she was doing.

Dear Lulu,

I’m glad to tell you that I safely arrived in Ponyville and had opportunity to get settled in. I took one of Blueblood’s ships, because he has so many he wouldn’t miss one.

Luna laughed at that, but stopped suddenly at the next part.

Please take it easy on him, he doesn’t know any better. Just trust me on this!

But anyway I digress. I miss you and wished you were here with me. Especially now after I made a huge announcement in Ponyville, concerning the Summer Sun Celebration.

Luna raised an eyebrow, wondering what her sister could mean.

I stretched the festivities to a whole week, starting tomorrow and I really want you to be part of this. So please come to Ponyville.

It was tempting, but she couldn’t just leave her post. What would the nobles think?

I’ve known you long enough to know, that you have doubts right now. Just call it an official visit to bypass the formalities. I’ve done that plenty of times as an excuse to visit other places.

I hope to see you soon.

with love

P.S. Enclosed you will find some pictures, which might help you in your decision making. Especially the last one!

Luna put the letter down and focused her attention to the stack of pictures, that came with it.

She browsed through them and couldn’t surpress a laugh. There were at least two dozen pictures of her sister with ponies from Ponyville, doing silly things. She recognized quite a few ponies from her visit to Ponyville on Nightmare Night and thought fondly of the events of that day.

Deep in thought she didn’t register at first, what she was looking at on the last picture.

But then her head went beet-red.

Luna had a picture in hoof of her sister, laying lascivious in a king sized bed and giving her bedroom eyes. It had written “See you soon!” on it in big ornate letters and a little red heart as a exclamation point.

She really had to go to Ponyville now.

“But not for that reason!” said Luna loudly to herself and looked frantically around, as if to appease potential listeners and quickly hid the photo under her bed.

Author's Note:

Next chapter, not sure how good it turned out this time (But I'm sure you will happily tell me ;) )

Added the sex tag, because the jokes got kinda steamy and I don't want to limit myself for the future.