Sunbutt for Summerslam...
“Wipe that smirk of your face Sparklebutt.”
“I tried, Discord, but for some reason I’m unusually happy today.”
Twilight and Discord sat in a large booth on stilts in front of microphones, overlooking the field and grandstands where the hoofball game was earlier this week. Thousands had once again gathered in the stadium to watch the next big event in the festival schedule.
Discord had a large bandage on his head and sported two black and swollen eyes. Twilight couldn’t hide her snicker every time she glanced over to look at his grumpy face.
The sight alone was worth it for her to comply with Celestia’s request to Co-commentate the event this evening with Discord, although both of them had no idea what this competition was about. Most likely something about magical prowess, if the massive ring made of stone was anything to go by.
The draconequus wouldn’t have come if he hadn’t already agreed to it at an earlier point in time. Fluttershy wouldn’t like it if he broke a promise and he wasn’t eager to get on her bad side.
Not after last night.
Speaking of her, Discord could see Fluttershy sitting on of the grand stand on the left of his booth. Rarity, Pinkie and Luna were also there, but to his nervousness no Celestia in sight.
A purple hoof poked him in the side. “Looking for somepony?”
“Shut up.”
Fluttershy watched Discord and Twilight bicker from her seat with a pout. “Those two seem to be pretty close.”
“Seems like it.” replied Pinkie with unusual serious expression.
The two mares shared knowing glances and a feeling of understanding bloomed between them. Pinkie and Fluttershy had forged a silent agreement some time ago, when it came to the draconequus. They had agreed to play fair and not to use dirty tricks, but that’s where the niceness ended. Both had achieved victories over the other in the past and had started to enjoy their little friendly feud.
Recent events had put a damper on that. Fluttershy seemed in the more favourable position right now with her kindness and shared living space in the mansion, but Pinkie wasn’t giving up yet and appealed at his fun-loving side as often as possible. Although they used completely different strategies and despite their differences, over one thing they were completely united.
A third player would not be tolerated.
“I can’t believe how much they changed the hoofball field for this event.” said Rarity looking around.
Ponies could now sit all around the field with perfect view on the center where the ring was. It was pretty plain in design, just an arena made of solid stone blocks to build a sqare.
Pinkie sighed loudly. “Tell me about it. It was a logistic nightmare, to get the additional grandstands built in time. I still don’t get what that giant stone thing is good for, the princess only said that it´s a classic.”
Fluttershy yelped in fright when all of a sudden a huge basket appeared between her and Luna in a flash of golden light. Luna wordlessly opened the huge basket and took a look at its contents.
A lot of cold drinks and sandwiches shaped like half-moons.
Pinkie hopped around the basket with glee. “Oh, that looks yummy!”
There was a little card lying on top with a smiling sun on it. Luna took one of the sandwiches with her magic and inspected the little snack closer. Those little treats were pretty elaborate for simple sandwiches and showed quite a bit of skill. The pony who created them made sure that the filling looked colorful and appetizing and had intricate patterns in them. And somehow, the bread halves had Luna’s cutie mark branded into them.
Rarity, Pinkie and Fluttershy looked over Luna’s shoulder as she unfolded the card to read it:
Something special for my special somepony.
Have fun at the show!
- Tia
“Aww, that’s so sweet!” cooed Rarity with Fluttershy and Pinkie nodding in agreement.
Luna sighed and frowned at the basket.
It was a wonderful gesture, thoughtful and filled with fondness for her, but she couldn’t enjoy it fully. This basket served just as a confirmation to something she came to realize today.
Frank is a very doting boyfriend.
On the airship, earlier this morning...
She got her first hint for that right after waking up. Or when she was woken up to be exact.
A soft nuzzle on Luna’s nose brought her out of dreamland and she slowly opened both eyes to look at the perpetrator. The smiling face of Frank.
“Oh good, you’re awake! I’ll be right back!” said Frank, giving her a small peck on the lips and quickly leaving the blushing Luna in her room. Those little gestures of affection were still a bit odd to her, despite their intimate moment yesterday.
He came back with a huge tablet floating behind him. Before Luna could rub the sleep out of her eyes to take a look at it, she smelled the appetizing fragrance which made her mouth water.
Fresh coffee, juice, pancakes with syrup, scrambled eggs with bacon (to her guilty satisfaction), a bowl with fruits, a basket of rolls and muffins, several smaller bowls that were covered up and a silver platter with salmon tidbits.
“Breakfast in bed?”
Frank glanced at one of her hind legs poking out under sheets and grabbed it gently.
“What are you doing?”
He kept silent, caressing along her leg in thought. His own hooves were still an enigma to him sometimes for their change in properties. When he was walking and stomping on things with them, they were as solid as the ground he was standing on. But now, he could feel the soft texture on Luna’s coat and the strong muscles beneath.
And despite this strength, it felt delicate like a flower in his grasp. “You look tired, Luna. Let me give you a hoof-massage.”
Luna didn’t think, that he was serious and chuckled.
“Of course I look tired. I just woke up, there’s no need to… hmmm!” said Luna, before she melted into her pillow when Frank started to work his magic hooves on the leg of the princess.
His princess.
“Since when can hooves massage that good?”
The covers from one of the smaller bowls lifted with a golden glow. “Have some of the chocolate covered strawberries.”
Luna opened her mouth slightly and the little treat floated inside and touched her tongue.
“Oooh, that’s so good!”
Frank watched her satisfied expression with joy.
“You like that, don’t you?”
She purred into her pillow and nodded.
A low rumble came from Frank’s stomach and his hooves slipped for a second, before he returned to massaging her hind leg. It was enough to bring Luna out of her trance and make her take a good look at him. Frank seemed happy, but she noticed the dark circles around his eyes.
All of the dishes on the tablet were freshly made, and some of them like the strawberries or the salmon had to be eaten almost immediately after.
“Who made this? We came home late last night.”
Frank shrugged. “I didn’t sleep, so I had some time on my hooves to whip out something myself.”
“You stayed up all night to make this?” said Luna, now fully awake, “Tia, you must be hungover, tired and hungry!”
He couldn’t deny that he was, but didn’t feel like it would affect him much. Being an immortal alicorn had it’s perks. First he had planned to just conjure the food and be done with it, only to notice that nothing of it tasted right and ending up doing it himself.
“Hey, for what reason does magic exist?” said Frank, while a little spark came from his horn for visual aid, “a little zap from this baby and I feel fresh like a spring breeze.”
Luna was concerned. Magic like that doesn’t let the fatigue and negative conditions disappear, it merely pushed the time to deal with them to a later date. They both had used these kind of magic in the past to fill in for each other, but had to rest pretty much immediately after.
She put a hoof on his to stop him. “How long have you been doing this?”
Frank tapped his chin and had to think for a longer time than she was comfortable with. The notion that Tia was pushing herself for her sake among others didn’t sit well on Luna’s conscience.
“Since the last time you were in my dreams?”
“TIA!” yelled Luna, feeling a giant stone build in her stomach, “That was almost four days ago! You haven’t slept for that long? Not to mention the amount of alcohol you’ve consumed! The moment the spell wears off, it will hit you like a freight train!”
Luna couldn’t tell if this information affected Frank at all, because his expression didn’t change.
“Good thing that I never stopped using it then, am I right?” said Frank finally with a smile, levitating another strawberry out of the bowl, “I will rest and eat something later, this is all for you. You deserve it.”
“WOULD YOU STOP THAT?”
“Yes, dear!” said Frank, and got back to massaging her left hind leg.
She pushed his hoof away. “And stop that too!”
Startled by the sudden movement, Frank lifted both of his front legs in the air with panic rising in his chest.
He swallowed hard before talking. “‘You don’t like it?”
Frank’s mind was racing at that point in desperate effort, trying find out why she was suddenly so upset with him. He’d put so much work in this gesture, to make sure that everything was perfect. Had he done something wrong? Was something not satisfactory enough?
“I love it, but that’s not the issue here!” she said, “get your flank on the mattress and enjoy this breakfast with me right this instant!“
Not sure where this was going, Frank reluctantly climbed on the bed beside her. Luna fed him a strawberry with her magic and he started chewing, while she peeled Frank a banana.
“You like bananas, right?”
He looked at the yellow fruit and for a reason that Luna didn’t know, started grinning.
“After that you go to sleep until the competition and take it easy today, are we clear?”
Frank looked at her and nodded, making the big bags under his eyes even more evident from their close distance to each other.
“What are you doing to yourself, Tia?”
Present time, back at the stadium...
The rest of them had already helped themselves to the food and beverages in the basket, while Luna still stared at the moon sandwich in her magic grasp with a sour expression. Tia had laid down in her bed as promised, and Luna had only left when she had been sure that her sister was fast asleep.
The fancy picnic basket told Luna that Tia couldn’t have rested for long after that.
“I really have to talk to her about this.”
Rarity watched the moody princess with a feeling of envy and annoyance. She would have killed for a stallion who did something like that for her, and yet Luna made a face like it was raining on her birthday.
“Some ponies don’t know how good—” thought Rarity before she saw something in the crowd which caused her to pause, “Is that? No it can’t be. Oh god it is!”
On the opposite grand stand and across the field sat a pony she was all too familiar with.
Prince Blueblood.
She had conflicted feelings about this stallion.
Rarity had met Blueblood many times after the gala in events in canterlot. She had kept her distance from him on these occasions and strangely enough had never been bothered by him again. No spiteful remarks or insults, despite the many opportunities that had arisen. It was as if she didn’t exist to him.
At the time, she just had been glad to be left alone, but never could fully shake off her curiosity about what had caused his shift in behaviour.
He was sitting with a mare to his left in deep conversation, well she was talking at him while he sat there with folded front legs to be exact. A bookworm type, brown unicorn with straw blonde mane in a bun. She didn’t look like much, but Rarity could see the hidden potential in those curves with her experienced eye.
Rarity was curious, if that were the kind of mares he was into, as she looked down on herself.
“There’s Sweetie Belle!” said Pinkie, a few inches from Rarity’s ear, making her lose that train of thought.
And indeed there she was, entering the stadium with the other participants. She was the only kid in a large group of adult unicorn stallions and mares. Not that it mattered to her in any way while she was quaking in her boots from stage fright. They could have all been three-headed pink cows, and Sweetie Belle couldn’t have felt more uncomfortable.
Her friends hadn’t been able to come at the last minute, which downed her mood somewhat already. Apple Bloom was accompanying her brother and granny to a spontaneous meeting with a local bank for whatever reason, and Scootaloo had said she got visitors at the orphanage.
She should be angry about this, but she knew that she didn’t have any right to be. They were doing things that are important to them as Sweetie Belle had done when she skipped the hoofball game.
“You’re Sweetie Belle?”
She turned her head to the source of the voice that sounded like stones rubbing together and saw a matching figure to it.
The stallion staring at her was a fricking mountain of flesh and muscle! He looked like a unicorn version of Big Macintosh, down to the same color patterns and manecut. She could have been fooled, if not for the horn, the cutie mark that looked like an exploding stone, and the mean look on his face.
“Yeah?”
His eyes turned to slits. “You don’t look like much.”
“I’m sorry?”
Sweetie Belle watched the big stallion trot to the grand stand and saw to her horror, that Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon sat right there in the first row. He started to talk with those two while pointing sporadically at Sweetie Belle. Diamond Tiara seemed to get angry from that, screaming at the stallion before throwing him a heavy looking bag against the head.
He grumpily returned shortly after to Sweetie Belle and his face softened a bit. “Sorry kiddo, it’s nothing personal.”
“It’s ok, Mr?”
“Crusher.”
“Of course it is…” thought Sweetie Belle with a deadpan look.
Twilight’s voice out of the speakers got their attention. “We’re almost ready to start the event folks! The only one’s missing is the…HOLY COW WHAT IS THIS?!”
Right above their heads in the night sky appeared a glowing dot that turned bigger and bigger, until they could recognize it as a ball of fire with the size of a small house heading directly for them.
Everyone stared up and panicked at the large fireball approaching at an insane speed.
“It’s gonna hit the stadium!”
“Save the children!”
“Go for the exits!”
“Where’s that music coming from?”
The flaming comet slowed down a few moments before impacting on the ring in a large explosion. All floodlights turned off at the same time, shrouding the whole stadium in darkness.
“GOOD EVENING EQUESTRIA! ARE YOU READY TO BE ENTERTAINED?”
The spotlights turned back on, focusing on the ring.
“THEN YOU SHALL SEE. LET THERE BE LIGHT!”
Frank had arrived in the stadium.
There he stood in the middle of the ring with an outfit that immediately caused a stir in the crowd. Frank wore a skintight muscle shirt in yellow and red boxers with matching red boots.These clothes matched the red bandana, the red rimmed sunglasses and the large feather boa around his neck in yellow and red.
To top off the ensemble, he’d decided to sport the manliest blonde handlebar mustache imaginable.
“What a garish outfit!” said Rarity with a frown, “red and yellow are so not her colors!”
Pinkie bounced on her seat. “I think it looks cool! Dashie would like those sunglasses, but I don’t get the reason behind the mustache?”
Striking a pose, Frank unfurled his right wing where he’d painted “TIA” on the inside with big flaming letters, and then his left wing where it said “MANIA!” with equally flaming letters.
Large fireworks erupted in the whole stadium and illuminated the night sky. Roaring dragons, phoenixes, lions and tigers made of fire in every color of the rainbow soared over the audience, spewing smaller versions of themselves every time they opened their mouth.
“Holy shit! Where do I get one of those?”
“It’s magic Pinkie,” said Rarity, “and intricate one at that! Look at this magnitude! Simply marvelous, isn’t it Fluttershy?”
“Those animals are really pretty.”
Luna was unmoved from the spectacle. “Is that your understanding of taking it easy, Tia?”
Frank took off with a huge gust of wind and flew over the audience. He stopped periodically to deal out hoof-bumps and hoofshakes to the ecstatic crowd on the grand stands. Some of them had cameras, and Frank took the time to take photos with as many as he could.
He landed punctual back in the ring at the moment when the music stopped to strike another pose with a last large magical firework explosion like the sun, brightening the dark sky to almost daylight levels. The following cheers of the crowd were deafening, and Frank was forced to wait for them to calm down before continuing.
“You all know me, so I won’t bore you with my usual introduction!”
Another large spotlight illuminated the gathered participants on the side of the ring.
“These are the brave souls who dared to dream and risk all for fame and glory!”
One older stallion with puppets spoke up. “Uhm, I thought this is like a talent show?”
“Far from it my dear friend,” said Frank, teleporting besides the old stallion and putting a leg around his shoulder, “Every single one of you has the chance to immortalize themselves in history, but be warned about one thing, this path is paved with pain and punishment!”
He reappeared back in the ring. “The rules are simple. Remove me from the ring and remain inside to earn a splendor rivaling a stained glass window at Canterlot Castle.”
Above his head appeared a large belt, encrusted with diamonds and other gems. The front had a large gold plate with an alicorn spreading it’s wings on it.
“This could be yours, but if you fail, ask yourself one simple question.”
With a mighty stomp of his hooves, the stadium started to quake.
“WHATCHA GONNA DO WHEN THIS CRAZY PRINCESS RUNS RAMPANT ON YOU, BROTHER?!”
“STEP UP CHALLENGERS, AND FACE THE MIGHT OF SUNBUTT THE DESTROYER IN THE ULTIMATE COMPETITION!”
“TIAMANIA IS BORN AND SHALL LIVE FOREVER!”
Yet again, cheers from the crowd, a very happy Frank and a group of very confused mares.
Fluttershy was the first to speak. “That sounds pretty violent. Maybe Sweetie shouldn’t… Rarity?”
“My poor little baby sister!”
“Hey Luna, why don’t you try it?”
Luna was looking at Fluttershy at that moment, which meant that only she could see Luna’s face when Pinkie had asked that question. It couldn’t be a very nice expression, judging from Fluttershy’s sudden pale face.
“I’ll never fight my sister again…”
Pinkie blinked twice before she realized what kind of landmine she just stepped on.
“Oh, right… awkwaaard…”
Meanwhile, a blonde unicorn stallion had the time of his life.
“This is so awesome! Look at it Trusty, aunty is so cool!”
Trusty just nodded and appreciated that he had finally stopped complaining, which Blueblood had done non-stop during their whole trip to ponyville and walk through the town. He may not be the raging jerk that everyone thought he was, but he could still be a spoiled brat sometimes. Now their goal was in reach at long last with both princesses in the same building.
After the show they could finally talk to those two.
Her former plan had been to talk to the princesses as soon as possible, but postponed it to the end of the competition after reading the festival schedule. Trusty didn’t believe she would be able to talk to Princess Celestia earlier than that and felt reassured, looking at her outfit and demeanor.
“She plays the role of a showmare rather well.”
“Oh god, I hope she isn’t drunk again.”
“Role? Like I do? But everyone loves her!” Blueblood said surprised.
She didn’t know what to say to that and shrugged, missing the thoughtful look in his eyes.
“When do I get my ice cream?”
Frank stood there in the middle of the ring while all this was going on, and was very satisfied with himself. This would do the trick in his opinion. Nobody in their right mind would challenge him after an entrance like that, and Sweetie Belle would save face.
Dressing up as one of his favourite wrestling icons was a nice bonus too.
Everybody wins.. Now all that was left to do, is to start the replacement event, and to lay it on thick for the finale.
“SADLY BUT UNDERSTANDABLY THERE SEEMS TO BE NO ONE WILLING TO…”
“Hey!”
The barely audible squeak caused Frank to look down to the little filly at his hooves. Sweetie Belle had climbed on the stage unseen by everyone, and was now staring at Frank with a determined look on her face.
“I’m still here!”
“Ok, plan B.” thought Frank, “Play along for a little bit, then levitate her outside the ring and call it a day.”
“Did you understand the rules, Sweetie Belle? The goal is to get me out of the ring through any means possible.”
She narrowed her eyes to slits and nodded.
“Ok, then. All that is left to do is tell Twilight to announce the start—”
Frank didn’t get any further in his explanation as something smashed him in the face with colossal force. His body was flung backwards and skidded across the ring, before stopping and lying motionless on the ground with a smoking head.
The crowd was shocked beyond belief and had fallen completely silent. One chaotic individual in the commentator booth though, couldn’t be more amused about this development.
“Ha, right in the kisser!”
Twilight ignored the rude comment from Discord and turned her microphone on.
“According to my quick calculations, that hit had a force of fourteen-point-twelve megamana!”
Nobody reacted.
“...That’s like a cannonball shot at point blank range.”
The crowd reacted this time with loud murmur throughout the stadium.
“Uneducated mouthbreathers…” grumbled Twilight, only to be remembered by a little tap from Discord that the microphone was still on and the whole stadium had turned to her booth with angry glares.
“... buck.”
Frank was busy with maintaining consciousness in the meantime and not ruining the ring with is own blood collecting in his mouth. He stumbled on his hooves and shook of the ringing in his ears.
“That... was a nice shot Sweetie... Belle, but please wait until we have properly started.”
“Ok, princess.”
“AHH THAT HURT SO BAD! MY FACE!” thought Frank, desperately trying to hold his smile without showing his busted teeth.
“Let the match begin!”
This time Frank saw it coming and sidestepped the attack with one quick motion. He couldn’t help but notice the gouge from the blast on the arena floor, which to Frank’s knowledge was still made of solid stone.
“I didn’t have much time to prepare, so I just focused on one type of spell,” said Sweetie Belle apologetically between blasts, “I hope that’s not too bad?”
“Stop being so adorable and humble while you’re trying to kill me!”
Frank dodged the next few dozen blasts with everything he had. Flying, teleporting, running and even rolling around on the floor. The little filly soon changed from actual blasts to throwing large objects around like nearby booths and broken off parts from the arena.
“This isn’t happening…THROW HER OUT!”
He tried to grab her in his magic, but Sweetie Belle started glowing and flung like a rubber ball out of his reach.
“She’s levitating herself to dodge the magic of the princess!” said Twilight’s voice through the speakers, “I’ve never seen self-levitation this precise!”
After dodging a particularly close blast by rolling, Frank lost sight of her and turned frantically on the spot to find her. A deep hum above his head made him look up. There she was levitating in the sky with a massive ball of light around her horn that was two times bigger than herself.
He had no time to dodge it, so Frank closed his eyes and waited for the inevitable.
“Uff!”
Frank opened one eye to see why the pain wasn’t coming, and saw the teary-eyed filly sitting on her haunches in the dirt outside of the arena. Sweetie Belle had put so much energy in her last blast that it had propelled herself out of the ring from the recoil.
He smelled something burning and noticed the large hole in his mane. Sending a prayer on every known deity for that miss, he jumped on his hooves and sat down beside the distraught filly.
“Great effort, young one!”
Sweetie Belle started wailing bitterly. “I’m a failure!”
The two of them sat on a field surrounded by craters and debris, caused by the little filly alone. Frank hadn’t fired a single shot during their encounter.
“Are you kidding? You could be my next student!”
The crowd gasped in shock. A new student would be big news, when the last one was anything to go by. Who looked a bit disgruntled at the moment behind her microphone.
“Oh, grow up Twilight.” thought Frank as he saw her pouting in the commentator booth.
Sweetie Belle had stopped crying, but still wasn’t looking very happy. “You’re just saying that to make me feel better. I barely did anything and you look as fresh as ever.”
Frank signaled the filly to get closer and showed Sweetie Belle his broken teeth behind his hoof for only her to see.
“Woah! Did I do that? Cool!” said Sweetie Belle, before regaining her composure, “I mean, I’m sorry.”
He concentrated hard and fixed his teeth with a flash of light. Conjuring a mirror to look at the satisfying results, Frank waved it off.
“Don’t worry about it, but be careful in the future. Not everyone is as resilient as me. Now, get on stage and take a bow. The crowd is waiting.”
Eager to fulfill Frank’s request, Sweetie Belle levitated herself onto the stage under the watchful gaze of the silent crowd. She swallowed hard and did a bow as told. The grand stands practically exploded in excitement, cheering, clapping and stomping applause to the confused filly.
It seemed to Frank like nobody of the other participants was eager to be the next in line. Even Crusher turned around to the grand stand and threw the bag of bits back to Diamond Tiara.
“Here, take your money back. I’m not suicidal!”
Diamond Tiara watched as the large stallion she had hired, walked out of the arena and into the night. He was supposed to beat Sweetie Belle and humiliate her in the process.
Instead, she was a fricking celebrity now!
“I’m so sorry, Silver,” said Diamond Tiara with a big lump in her throat.
Silver Spoon empathized with her friend and gave her a smile. There was nothing they could do about this. Destiny seemed to be against them in a major way, to the point it was simply ridiculous.
“It’s ok. We’ll get them next time. No need to apologize.”
“Damn right you don’t,” said a deep male voice behind them.
Both fillies turned around to look at Diamond’s father, who stood there with a big smile.
“Daddy?”
“You’re really my daughter through and through, Diamond. Bringing me and my partners to this competition might made us more money than we ever dreamed of!”
“You were supposed to come alone…”
“They were simply awestruck by the concept. Can you imagine what ponies would pay to see something like this show regularly? And think of the sponsorship deals, once we got some famous ponies. You really have a nose for opportunity like your dear father.”
“I’m not, stop saying that…”
“We think of Manehattan as venue for our first show and are gathering the funds right this moment to make this happen in the future.”
“Great…”
“Speaking of funds, could you try to get on the good side of the youngest daughter from the Apple family? You know, become her friend?”
Silver Spoon’s eyes went wide. How could he ask for something like that from her? She glanced at Diamond Tiara to see her reaction.
Not a single muscle moved on her face.
“My contacts say that the Apples got their hooves on a ridiculous amount of money and are now arguably the richest family in equestria.”
Diamond Tiara thought that she heard something shatter and looked around for the origin, but stopped once she realized it had come from her own mind.
“Diamond, dear?”
She ignored the words of her father and exited the stadium through an aisle between two grandstands. Once outside, she leaned against a wall for support. With her forehead pressed against the cold stone, Diamond Tiara tried desperately to calm down. A clink from the top of her head brought her out of it. The tiara she was wearing had scratched along the hard surface.
Diamond Tiara took it off and looked at it, checking the material for visible scratches. The headwear wasn’t damaged in any way, sparkling and shining like on the day she got it. She saw her reflection in the gemstone on top, distorted and stretched from the round surface in all directions.
She jerked and dropped the tiara as if had burned her, smashing the delicate jewelry to pieces with a swift stomp and scattering the pieces all over the floor.
Diamond Tiara then left the stadium behind, not looking back once.
Inside the stadium, Frank had started posing again for the excited crowd. Then they went suddenly quiet, staring at him with their mouths wide open. Confused about what’s wrong, Frank checked himself to see if something was out of order.
“I am next, Tia.”
Frank went rigid from the voice that had spoken behind him. He didn’t turn around, looking at the commentator booth to find Twilight alone in there with wide eyes.
What could only mean one thing, and would explain the reaction of the audience.
“You said everyone could participate, didn’t you?”
“Yes… I said that.” croaked Frank, still not turning around.
Discord cackled in glee. “Wonderful!”
At this moment, Frank realized the fatal flaw in his little show. He’d given Discord the perfect opportunity to beat him up. Nobody would fault Discord for injuring him in a exhibition match. The ass kicking that would follow now, was his own making.
Without warning, Frank turned around and started firing away. While Sweetie Belle had blasts like cannonballs, Frank’s came with the speed of a machine gun.
“Those blasts she throws around are insane in strength and frequency, but what else would you expect from our princess? What mental discipline!”
“DAKKA! DAKKA! DAKKA!”
Luna was mortified. “Tia hasn’t rested at all, and despite that she is putting so much effort into this?”
She closed her eyes and listened to the noise from the surrounding crowd:
“Get him princess!”
“You can do it!”
“Sunbutt! Sunbutt! Sunbutt!”
“Is it for them?” she thought doubtful, “Do they love you for that reason?”
Frank stopped after a minute barrage of non-stop magic blasts and fell exhausted on his haunches. His head felt like it was on fire with a great urge to empty is his stomach from sickness. He wanted to go home and sleep so badly, it hurt to stay awake.
An unscathed Discord stood there in the middle as the smoke cleared, filing his claw and looking bored.
“That was pretty impressive. Utterly useless, but impressive nonetheless. Tell me one good reason, why I don’t take over?”
“Because you’d get your ass handed to yourself by six little girls again?” said Frank, trying to sound smug, but couldn’t pull it off between his heavy gasps for air, “the first time was embarrassing enough. I doubt your image would be able to handle a second time.”
Discord frowned, throwing the file over his shoulders where it exploded with a loud bang and left scorch-marks on the floor.
“As I thought, Discord is on a whole different level than Celestia. He barely even has to try!”
The fatigue kicked in as his vision got blurry. With a grunt and weak sizzle of his horn, he pushed it back. Luna noticed though, as did Discord with a wide grin.
“What’s wrong? Have you run dry already? Do you regret facing me?”
Bellowing laughter filled the stadium.
Not from Discord though.
“Regret? Are you kidding me? This is everything I’ve ever wanted!”
That reaction took everyone by surprise. Frank was outmatched and outclassed by a mile, and couldn’t possibly hope to win. He stood close to get the beating of his life-time and yet laughed like a lunatic.
“Can you imagine how boring and mundane my life was? The constant soul-crushing routine day after day, hoping and dreaming of something worthwhile to happen?”
Frank pulled himself together and did another pose under the loud cheers of the crowd. “Look at me! I’m a super-powered pony princess that can shoot lasers from her horns. How cool is that?!”
“I have the most beautiful and sweetest marefriend imaginable, with a flank that dwarfs my own in sexiness,” said Frank pointing at Luna in the crowd, “Look at her and tell me you wouldn’t rip your own tail off for a chance to tap that flank?”
Luna sank, embarrassed, into her seat and hid her beet red head, which got even worse when she heard the murmur and whistling from the crowd that seemed to agree with Frank.
Both stallions and mares.
“See? They agree that I got more than most would even dare to wish for!”
He took off the sunglasses to look him directly in the eyes for the next part. “I don’t regret anything, even if I would drop dead right now.”
The noise stopped and dead silence reigned supreme in an instant.
“Poor choice of words maybe.” thought Frank, looking at Luna’s panicked expression.
Discord’s facial expression was unreadable, simply staring at Frank without any emotion.
“Don’t blame me, if you get hurt.”
Frank put his glasses back on. “Hit my theme music again.”
And Frank heard it, but only him this time. Maybe he didn’t have enough magic anymore to let it happen, or maybe the rules for this kind of thing allowed only one time use. It didn’t matter anyway as Discord decided to turn it up a notch.
Frank’s hooves were suddenly glued to ground as it turned to very sticky caramel.
“You know Tia, I’ve always wondered what the negative version of you would be like, “ said Discord, and wiggled his forefinger in front of Frank’s face, “Care to find out?”
It was really hard for Frank to suppress his inner brony from fangasming at this point.
“Awesome! He’s gonna do the thing from season two, where he turns you in the worst version of yourself. Wait a second… The worst version of me? Holy shit!”
“Discord, no!!!”
*poke*
The gathered audience collectively gasped, as Frank’s prismatic mane went monochrome and his coat changed from white to grey. Even his outfit lost color, turning completely black. Discod vanished in a puff of smoke, reappearing a few feet away in a giant throne.
The ground turned normal again, and Frank dropped on the floor with his face buried in both frontlegs.
“This is gonna be so much fun!” thought Discord as he ate a large mouthful of popcorn that he summoned by snapping his claws.
“Discord, you monster!” screamed Luna, flaring her wings to join the fray, to be stopped by Twilight who descended from the commentator booth.
“No, wait! We don’t know how she will react! Her mind is warped and twisted by Discord.”
That sounded way too familiar for Luna’s taste as she watched her sister roll on the floor. If Twilight was right, then they would have to do something that she could never do in a million years.
Everyone held their breath as Frank heaved himself from the ground on shaky legs. He noticed a speck of dust on his new black shirt and half heartedly patted it off.
“So where were we?” said Frank, adjusting his sunglasses with a big friendly smile on his face.
Discord dropped his popcorn. “That’s it? A change of clothes and grey hair? You’re really boring Tia, I expected more!”
He had done this to many ponies throughout the centuries, but never had gotten a reaction like that. Usually they were moody, angry, frightened or sometimes just plain insane. Happy and calm wasn’t supposed to happen.
Frank bowed deeply before him. “Oh, I’m sorry to disappoint you. I aim to satisfy all my subjects, which includes you dear Discord. Maybe you would let me get a little aid to make it more enjoyable for you?”
This wasn’t right at all. Tia wasn’t the submissive type and Discord didn’t like it.
“You want to give me handicap? Sure go ahead!”
Frank bowed again. “Thank you, that’s very nice of you”
A small wooden box appeared in front of him and he opened it to reveal it’s content to everyone. Those who knew what it was, were instantly shocked.
“The alicorn amulet?!” said Twilight, Luna and Discord in almost perfect unison.
“Jinx, you owe each other a soda!” chirped Pinkie, oblivious to the seriousness of the situation.
Twilight on the other hand was not, and got quite furious. “How did she get that? Zecora was supposed to hide it! Where is she anyway?”
“Did anypony bother to invite her?” asked Rarity, looking at each of her friends.
They all did the same before looking to the ground.
“Awwwkwaaarrd…..”
“Shut up Pinkie!”
Frank turned to Twilight and the rest, twirling the amulet around his hoof.
“From your looks, I gather that you are familiar with this little trinket. I swiped it from that zebra you won’t let live in town and who has to fend for herself in a small shack in the forest.”
“THAT’S NOT HOW IT IS AND YOU KNOW IT!”
“Tell her Twilight!” said Pinkie and patted her on the shoulder, “Zecora is cool with us now. We only ran her out of town once when we thought she was a child molester.”
Twilight’s eyes almost bulged out of her head. “WE NEVER THOUGHT THAT!”
Pinkie faltered a bit. “We didn’t?”
“YES!”
“Then why did we violently invade her home and break all her stuff in the process?”
It was at that moment, that Twilight noticed quite a few zebras in the audience with grim expressions.
“WE ARE NOT RACIST AGAINST ZEBRAS! WE’RE NOT, HONEST!”
“Yeah, we would have done the same thing to a griffon!”
“PINKIE!” screamed Twilight, pouncing and strangling the mare with both hooves while Rarity and Fluttershy tried to pry her off.
The two real combatants stood there in the meantime, and watched the whole thing play out. Frank just grinned, but Discord was simply awestruck.
“This is a work of art...”
Frank bowed for the third time on this evening. “Thank you, but flattery won’t save you.”
With loud click the small amulet snapped around Frank’s neck.
Twilight and Luna felt a shudder going down her spine, like every single unicorn in the stadium. It was enough to prompt Twilight to let go of Pinkie. A few moments later the rest of the audience could feel something as they started to sweat. This day would go down in history as “The longest day”. The day when the sun rose twice and the temperature climbed to a new record high, which would never be reached again in the future.
Discord wasn’t sweating from the heat though, as the saint-like smile melted from Frank’s face, matching to the murderous temperature.
The following howl shook him to the bone.
“I’M GONNA RIP OFF YOUR FACE AND WEAR IT TO THE UGLY BALL!”
Airspace somewhere in equestria...
“I’m gone for one day from ponyville, and everything goes down the drain.”
Rainbow Dash had been in the middle of redecorating her new office to match her awesome standards, when she was all of a sudden blinded by the sun from the window and started sweating from the rising temperature.
At ten in the evening.
It didn’t take her long to figure out who was responsible for this. Without thinking, she had opened the window and bolted in the direction of ponyville. Flying was monstrously strenuous due to the heat, and Rainbow Dash was soaked in her own sweat in minutes.
Even at her top speed, it would take some time to reach ponyville under these conditions. Time Rainbow Dash might not had. She wasn’t soaring through the sky alone for long, as a turquoise blur drew to even level with her.
“What do you want, Lightning?”
“To join the fun!”
Lightning Dust was an astounding flyer on Rainbow’s level, something she wasn’t too petty to acknowledge. With a situation ahead that was completely unknown to her, Rainbow Dash thought that she might need all the help she could get.
“As long as you don’t slow me down.”
She gave Rainbow Dash the “bitch please” look, before pointing to something behind them.
“If you’re concerned about being held up, turn your attention to the old timer who is gasping for air.”
Rainbow Dash glanced back and indeed, there was Spitfire, slowly closing in on them. Several moments passed until she actually managed to catch up. It was a funny thing to see one of your former idols in such less shape than yourself.
“What’s up granny?” said Lightning Dust, turning and crossing both frontlegs behind her head to mimic lying down.
Spitfire noticed with a grudge that she didn’t have to slow down while doing so.
“Those two have unreal abilities!”
She wouldn’t give her the satisfaction of admitting it though. “I’m still part of the Wonderbolts and your superior, grunt.”
The smug grin on Lightnings Dust’s face faltered a bit, but came back in full force as she flew in front of Rainbow Dash and pinched her cheeks.
“But not hers. Right Dashie? Nobody tells you what to do anymore.”
Rainbow Dash jerked her head away and blasted passed Lightning Dust with newfound speed. The two pegasi left behind, stared a moment at the rainbow colored dot gaining distance.
“She’s turning it up a notch! Try to keep up old timer! WRRRYYYYY!!!
Lightning Dust did a similar blast of speed to take up pursuit, hollering and hooting like a madmare.
“I’m not old…” said Spitfire with a pout, but couldn’t ignore her joints screaming in pain as she increased her own speed.
Maybe the change of leadership came at the right time.
A picture of herself flashed in her mind, lying in the sand of a beautiful beach and enjoying herself. The picture got even better with a certain pie loving stallion at her side and a bunch of young foals who looked all similar to them in some way.
Back in Ponyville….
“COME ON EVERYPONY, SMILE, SMILE, SMILE!”
Discord had never experienced fear in his life. Even when they turned him into stone, he was more annoyed than frightened. The spell would eventually wear off and Discord had all of eternity, so what do a couple thousand years matter in the big scheme of things?
“FILL MY HEART UP WITH SUNSHINE, SUNSHINE!” roared Frank as he blasted the closest building to his left into splinters.
This was the first time Discord actually was concerned about his wellbeing. The power boost Tia got was no joke, and he wasn’t one-hundred percent sure he could win right now. He was a coward at heart, only fighting battles whose outcomes were clear from the beginning.
At least to him.
So he had bailed the stadium at the first possible opportunity with Frank hot on his trail. Now, Discord was hiding behind a building in ponyville central that wasn’t burned down and thinking feverishly for a solution to this mess.
“Running away sounds like a good idea. I could be halfway in zebrica before she notices that I’m gone.”
No, he couldn’t do that. What impression would it make if he just fled and left them to fend for themselves in a mess he created? What would Fluttershy think of him?
On the other side, this place would surely get wrecked even more if he duked it out with Tia and used all of his power. His only option right now was to keep Tia from hurting someone and hoping that Twilight and her friends know what to do. Business as usual.
“I really got soft…”
Frank grew more impatient by the second. “Come out coward, I start to feel bored and I’m running out of songs!”
“Hey, Lardbutt, over her!” said Discord, jumping out his hiding place, ”You seem pretty eager to get my attention. Want another smooch?”
Frank sneered and ran through the rubble of the house he obliterated earlier. Discord snapped his fingers to make it reappear around Frank in its undamaged state. That caused him to run head first against a solid brick wall.
A few seconds later, Frank exited the house quietly through the front door and looked around awkwardly to find out if somebody had seen that.
“Princess Celestia!” said a familiar voice from the sky, before a purple blur impacted in front of him.
“Oh hey Twilight, how are you doing?”
Twilight still wasn’t the most gracious of flyers, and had botched the landing in spectacular fashion. Getting on her hooves in one quick swoop, she flared her wings and put on the most serious face possible. Which turned to confusion when her sight cleared and she saw nothing.
She heard a short whistle and spun around to an amused looking Frank, still standing in the doorway.
“Your so adorable, when you try to act serious.”
He walked passed her and searched for any trace of Discord, who had used the diversion to hide again.
“I demand that you stop this right now!”
Frank walked further, utterly unimpressed by her order. “Or what?”
Twilight gulped. Now was the time to take action and step out of the shadow of her mentor. She was not taken seriously and had to show some authority!
“You would leave us no choice, but to use the Elements of Harmony!”
Frank stopped in his tracks and Twilight was suddenly flung towards him in a golden aura.
“Let’s see… one, two, three, four… hmm, I’m afraid, your party is a few members short for this boss,” said Frank, before he dropped the perplexed Twilight and let her fall backwards, “Good effort though. Better luck next time.”
Still lying on her back giving Frank a pleading look. “Princess… Tia, please stop this. Let us help you, the magic of Friendship is stronger than this.”
Frank stopped again and shuddered from head to hoof, before he did an audible gagging sound.
“I’m getting through to her!” thought Twilight, feeling immense admiration for the willpower of her mentor.
“Twilight.. that…”
“Yes?” said Twilight with new hope in her voice.
“That was so corny!”
And just like that, her hope crashed and burned in a large fiery pit of disappointment.
“Yep, so much it almost physically hurt. I’m embarrassed for you!”
She barely was barely able to control her outrage. “But, it’s true! Friendship overcomes anything!”
Frank went silent and smiled. Not a friendly or happy smile though, more the kind of smile of someone who had something devious planned. Twilight didn’t like this smile on her idol.
“Oh really?” Frank finally said in a sugary tone, “tell me Twilight, how did you beat Discord the last time?”
That question confused her. Celestia knew what happened in detail, from herself and her friends. She was also personally there for a large part. There must be a different reasoning behind this question, but Twilight answered despite the bad feeling she had.
“We used the Elements of Harmony to—”
“Blast him with a huge rainbow laser and turn him into stone,” interrupted Frank, “damning him to at least thousand years of solitude. The same draconequus who enjoys a good cup of tea with his dear friend Fluttershy, and you wouldn’t have wasted a second thought on him if I turned him to stone tomorrow. That’s hardly friend-like behaviour, wouldn’t you agree?”
“Well… not really, but we didn’t—”
He silenced her with a raised hoof. “Chrysalis most like is now a bloody smear on the rock she landed on after being blasted away.”
“Who’s Chrysalis?” asked Twilight, but Frank continued regardless as if he didn’t hear her.
“Oh, and Sombra? He’s definitely dead, incinerated alive to ash and smoke. Can you imagine how painful that is? I don’t, but I heard his death scream all the way to canterlot.”
Twilight went a bit pale at the mental image and swallowed.
“Love and tolerate, am I right?”
And now it’s time to go in for the killer.
“And what about those annoying Pinkies from the mirror pool you got rid of?” said Frank, before he got closer to whisper in her ear, “What if I told you, that every single one of them was really alive?”
That hit home for Twilight. Her mind knew that this wasn’t true, because she was well aware of the magical properties of the mirror pool. Unfortunately, common sense is often overruled when someone you idolize says that something is a certain way.
The implication made Twilight go green and sick to her stomach.
Then she felt something on the outside of her stomach.
*Brrrrrttttt!*
Twilight started laughing from the sudden raspberry on her exposed tummy. Frank didn’t stop for a minute, until tears started streaming from her face and she’d gotten the hiccups between breathless gasps.
“Gotcha! You should see see the look on your face! I’m a mass murderer, buhuhuhu!”
Still not capable of breathing properly, Twilight just rolled on her side with a head that got redder every second.
“But regardless, congratulations on your kill count. Now I’ve got to work on my own.”
All he heard was wet snort from the purple heap on the floor.
“And hey, at least you’re not that other student I once had who is now in a parallel universe as a hairless orange ape. Don’t ask me more about her though, I’ve never watched the movie.”
“Huh? But I… WHAT?!” stuttered Twilight, as she got ditched by Frank.
Discord had seen the whole thing from his new hiding place in a small barrel with an eyehole. It had barely taken a minute, and now one of Discords most worthy adversaries was lying on the floor as babbling buffoon.
“How does she do that? This is downright diabolical!”
He thought back to Frank’s first comment about him being forgotten and felt like lying down too. What she said wasn’t inherently wrong, with the exception of the mirror pool. They had done all of this, and would do it again if necessary.
That was the cold, hard reality of things and Discord didn’t like it.
“There’s no place to hide Diddy. I’ll get you eventually!”
Not one bit.
Discord made the mistake to answer and consequently revealed his position. “Tia, come on, I think that—”
“IT DOESN’T MATTER WHAT YOU THINK!”
Meanwhile, Rarity, Pinkie and Fluttershy had arrived at Twilight’s side with a shellshocked Luna in tow. While they tried to get Twilight to talk, Luna observed the damage done by her sister. Dozens of houses and booths were destroyed and burned down with debris and smoke all over the town. They were lucky that most of the attendees of the festival and townsfolk were safe at the stadium right now.
“Twilight, snap out of it! We need to use the elements on her!” said Rarity, shaking Twilight's shoulders to get her attention.
“How?” asked Fluttershy, “We’re only four.”
They thought about it feverishly, until their eyes fell on the other princess at their side.
“Luna can use them!”
“Yeah! Celestia used them alone before, you can do it too!”
Luna thought so too, but also remembered what had happened then and what had been different from the second use on her. The elements were not supposed to be used by one alone, and her sister had been forced to improvise. She looked at the blazing sun and imagined a picture of a mare in it, and it almost broke her heart.
“…I can’t...”
Rarity got desperate. “Princess!”
“NO! I CAN’T!” said Luna, taking flight in the opposite direction as fast as possible.
“LUNA! Damnit!” cursed Rarity, “What do we do now?”
“We could try to shoot at her.”
Rarity deadpanned. “With what, Pinkie?”
“Oh, you know…” said Pinkie coyly, glancing at the giant airship.
“Fluttershy, don’t let her out of your sight!”
Something grabbed her by the legs and made Rarity yelp from the pressure. She was still holding Twilight on the shoulders, who decided to finally get out of her little trance with great force as she remembered a certain conversation.
“...Twilight, you’re a strong-willed and good-hearted pony, but for goodness sake stop groveling like a dog and show some dignity!”
She gritted her teeth so hard it made a grinding noise.
“...I’m not your mentor anymore. As far as I’m concerned, we both are equal now…”
With one great leap she bolted into the air and unfurled her wings to max span, scanning the area for her target. She found it a few streets away, cornering a frightened Discord.
“...I suggest you learn to take a joke, get a thicker coat, and stop being such a pansy...”
Twilight landed with a loud stomp a few metres away, just far enough that Frank didn’t notice her until it was already too late as he turned around.
There were no more words uttered or air wasted with fruitless efforts to convince her former mentor. Twilight used the last course of action available to her.
A flaming purple ball of kickass!
“THIS WILL KNOCK SOME SENSE INTO YOU!”
Frank would have chuckled at the craziness of it all. This was the second time in the span of one evening that he stared at a giant ball of energy that was moments away from being fired at his face. He doubted that this one would miss.
The tension of the scene broke when someone walked casually between them from an alley.
“This popsicle isn’t all that great.”
“What is Blueblood doing here?!” thought Twilight in panic, unable to cancel her spell and jerked her head upwards to blast the sky.
The stallion glanced up from his little treat at the spectacle in the sky and then at the figures surrounding him, starting to beam with joy as he saw Frank.
“Aunty!” said Blueblood, hurrying to Frank who still stared at Twilight.
“Don’t go there! She will blast you to pieces!”
“Silly Twilight Sparkle,” said Blueblood with a frown, “aunty would never do something like that. Right aunty?”
Frank pushed the stallion gently aside. “Blueblood, stop being a goddamn idiot and get out of the way. I’d like to to discuss things with my former student.”
His eyes went wide and he did an audible gasp. Aunty had cursed. Aunty never curses when he’s around to set a good example for him. She said only stupid ponies curse when they have nothing worthwhile left to say. Blueblood remembered what she used to do in the past when he said something inappropriate.
So, he returned the favour. Hitting Frank on the nose with his popsicle.
“Bad aunty, no being a meanie. Now say you’re sorry!”
Twilight’s jaw dropped and so did Discord’s, but Frank just stared at Blueblood’s pouting face and twitched his left eye. He then focused his gaze on the ice cream smear on his nose.
“Did… did you just hit me with your… hey cut that out!”
Frank gagged and snorted when Blueblood hit him a second time and some of the melted ice cream entered one of his nostrils.
“So, what do you say?”
The ice cream on his nose evaporated instantly and he reared up to strike. Frank froze mid punch, standing still like a mannequin with black smoke from both of nostrils. Blueblood hadn’t flinched or reacted in any way.
His trust in his aunt was absolute.
To better understand the inner workings of this intricate creature called Frank, we know see a visualisation of his moral conflict.
Inside the Frank Command Center:
A Celestia in a devil costume and a Celestia with a slightly more evil looking devil costume wearing the Alicorn amulet, sat together in front of a large screen with a big red button. For convenience sake, lets call them Devilestia and Amulestia.
Amulestia reached for the punch button when Devilestia grabbed the hoof and held it in place.
“What are you doing? You can’t hit him, you’re practically sprinting to hell!”
“Aren’t we evil now?” said Amulestia, rolling her eyes.
“Yeah, but there’s a difference between evil and just plain wrong!”
Both of them looked at the bound and gagged form of a Celestia in an angel costume lying on the floor.
“Why does her costume have wings? That’s kinda redundant.” said Devilestia and gave Amulestia another slap on the wrist as it inched closer to the button.
“Come on! Just one little punch!”
“I said no!”
“Who made you boss anyway?” said Amulestia, ready to duke it out, “I say we punch his lights out!”
At this moment, the constraints from the Angel-Celestia snapped and it roared.
“We are not beating on a mental-handicap! That’s where I put the foot down!”
“We don’t even have those anymore!”
“AHHHH! I SMASH YOU DEMON!”
“Put the screen down, you haloed maniac!”
As a result of his little internal dispute, Frank hadn’t moved for at least five minutes and just stared blankly at Blueblood eating his popsicle.
“You want some?”
Frank blinked. “I’d love to.”
Blueblood brought the popsicle to his mouth, and Frank opened it slightly to take bite. He yanked it away at the last possible moment, remembering an important part.
“But first you must apologize.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Good aunty!” said Blueblood, as he waved the popsicle at him, splattering some ice cream on the alicorn amulet before Frank could grasp it with his magic.
“Oh sorry, got something on your pretty necklace. Let me get it off for you.”
“Hmm,” hummed Frank as he sat down, busy nibbling on his popsicle as Blueblood took out a handkerchief and started scrubbing on the alicorn amulet.
It popped off Frank’s neck right then and there.
“Shoot, I broke it!” said Blueblood in panic, trying to get it back around Frank’s neck, “Does somebody know how to fix this?”
As an answer he got an deafening cheer from the suddenly gathering crowd. They came out of every nook and corner of the town and celebrated their new hero:
“He broke the spell.”
“The prince saved the day.”
“All hail Prince Blueblood!”
Rarity and Fluttershy got dragged along by the crowd as they tried in vain to reach Twilight. Pinkie, on the other hand, bounced happily in the crowd and waved at them.
“Come on Twilight, let’s celebrate. You too Discord!”
The two watched the retreating crowd carrying Blueblood on their backs to the marketplace. Discord swallowed once and almost casually poked Frank on the head to give him and his outfit the color back.
Still occupied with his popsicle, he only grunted in acknowledgement before getting up and joining the crowd with Blueblood and the others.
After a moment of silence, Discord threw his claw and paw in the air with a sound of resignation, snapped once to repair the damage in town and vanished in a puff of smoke with the second.
That left Twilight alone on the street with time to think.Time to analyze the situation from an outside perspective and detached from her personal involvement.
“...Pfft…HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!”
She laughed long and loud, hitting the floor with her hooves and tears streaming down her face.
“HOLY SHIT! THAT IS FUNNY!”
Back on the airship some time later...
In a large bedroom sat a lone figure, hiding under the bed sheet and quivering in fear.
“I left her.”
One eye peeked out of the sheet and stared at the blazing sun, shining through the window.
“She needs me, and I’m hiding in my bed like a foal!”
Luna tried to calm herself down. “It’s ok, Twilight will fix this. She always does.”
Those words sank in, making her even more depressed. Is that what it came down to? Pushing your responsibilities on others to make yourself feel better?
“Luna, you’re so pathetic…”
She paused her silent self-loathing when voices could be heard just outside her room.
“... I really need an aspirin...”
“Princess! This is important! Please listen to me…”
“Aunty, did I do good?”
“...Yes, you did nephew. That’s why your Aunty’s little favourite. Be a dear and fetch me an ice pack from the kitchen, and treat yourself to some real ice cream as a reward. That popsicle tasted like garbage!”
“Yay!”
“Princess Celestia!”
“Not so loud, Trusty!”
Not longer able to contain herself, Luna bursted out of her room and into Frank. Both of them toppled to the ground with Frank on his back and Luna on top, showering him with kisses. Trusty just stood there watching uncomfortably as they got more and more heated.
Frank tossed her off him as he saw Blueblood coming around the corner. “I’m back aunty! I couldn’t find an icepack, so I wrapped some ice cream in a…”
He noticed Luna.
“...towel. Hello Princess Luna. To what circumstance do I owe the pleasure of you being here?”
“Blueblood,” she growled at the young stallion, her guilt momentarily forgotten.
His face had the usual smugness and arrogant demeanor, but it looked pretty off with the ice cream drenched towel floating over his head and dripping on his white coat. He glanced a few times at Frank and Trusty, unsure of what to do now.
A warm hoof on his shoulder reassured him. “It’s ok, nephew. Be yourself.”
“Ok… “
And right before Luna’s eyes happened something, she thought impossible. Blueblood actually smiled like a normal pony. No sneer, no smugness, just a stallion with smile that showed that he was happy to be here.
“What is going on here? Why is he behaving like that?”
Then Blueblood did another impossible thing when he actually hid behind Frank, peeking meekly at her from time to time.
Frank’s expression softened. “Be nice Luna… for your sake.”
“Being nice to this guy?” said Luna, stomping the ground, “do you know how much trouble I had with him? What could possible tempt me to do that?”
Frank sighed and signaled Luna to get close enough to whisper something in her ear.
Trusty and Blueblood watched as the annoyed expression on Luna’s face fell like a brick.
“... He’s what?”
Frank rolled with his eyes and whispered again in her ear.
“...Your joking right?” Luna said, waiting for Blueblood to say something to this clear up.
He did, and she wished that he didn’t.
“... you're not gonna strangle me again, do you? I don’t like it when ponies hurt me.”
There are times in life, when perspectives change drastically with the addition of one little piece of information. Luna experienced such a moment, as she relieved her past interactions with the prince in another light.
“How you do it hurts not as much though. Words tend to sting more for some reason. Thank you for doing the less hurtful kind of hurt at least.”
...Did your hear how he talked to me? Like I was five years old...
… five years old...
Frank waved a leg in front of her face.
“Luna?”
She turned her head slowly to stare at him with an absent-minded look on her face. Her eyes focused and went wide. Frank knew what was coming as soon as she opened her mouth, and braced himself for the assault on his poor ears.
“OH MY GOD, I FEEL LIKE SUCH JERK!”
The Royal Canterlot Voice is so much worse when you have a headache.
“Told you,” said Frank, patting her shoulder.
She swatted his hoof away and grabbed the startled prince in a bearhug. “I’m so sorry! I didn’t know!”
“You didn’t know what?” said Blueblood with a frown.
Luna was about to answer truthfully, but could see Frank frantically wave out of Blueblood’s sight and mouthing silently words at her.
“That you’re … It doesn’t matter! Things will change from now on, you don’t have to play your act around me anymore!”
Blueblood seemed satisfied with that answer. “Ok, aunty… hey, I have two aunties now!”
Luna was puzzled from the statement and the smiling face of the young stallion, before a warm feeling started to spread in her chest. Her motherly side took over with a vengeance and resulted in cuddling poor Blueblood almost senseless.
“D’aww, isn’t that just adorable.” thought Frank, looking at those two before the turned his attention to the window and the still blazing heat outside, “Huh, I still haven’t lowered the sun.”
Out of her eyes, Luna saw Frank do the familiar spell. “Tia, no!”
Usually this would be a piece of cake for both them, especially for Tia who is more in tune with the sun. Even at their worst days this task would make them a little bit winded at best, but for Frank was it the last straw.
The straw to break the camel’s back.
“What? Everything’s fine, stop worrying an—”
Frank stopped mid sentence, as both eyes rolled back in his head and he hit the floor with a loud thud. Blueblood instantly broke free from Luna’s hug with a strength that almost ripped her legs off. The young stallion crouched down to the still form of Frank with a look of pure horror.
He gave him a little nudge with his nose. “Aunty? Come on this isn’t funny!”
“Is that really the same stallion?”
“Don’t worry… nephew,” said Luna reluctantly, not used to the intimate salutation, “She’s just exhausted and needs rest to recharge.”
Blueblood stopped sniffling. “She did a lot of cool stuff today.”
“Yes she did, nephew. Yes she did. And as a result, she will feel this badly in the morning.”
Luna levitated Frank inside her room and placed him gently on her bed.
“I’ll watch over her tonight,” said Luna, stroking Frank’s prismatic mane which had stopped moving, “Trusty, you’re free to use anything you want. Let Blueblood show you around.”
He ran away without waiting. “Let’s start with the kitchen. I’m still hungry!”
Trusty had been silent the whole time, watching from the sidelines and waiting for things to calm down.
“Princess, we need to—”
“Trusty, really…”
“Princess this is important!”
“IT CAN WAIT TRUSTY!!” roared Luna, making the ship quake and the nearby windows crack before she was able to control herself and whispered the next part, “I’m sorry, just grant me some time with my sister. Please?”
A look of understanding dawned on Trusty’s face and she silently closed the door behind her. Luna might have said to Blueblood that it wasn’t a big deal, but on the inside she was almost torn to pieces. Trusty would get nothing useful out of Princess Luna today from the emotional condition she was in.
“I wasn’t there for you,” said Luna quietly, watching his peaceful form as she laid down beside him, “but I swear to be in the future by all that is holy. No matter what!”
He had ditched his clothes, but still wore the sunglasses and the red bandana in addition to the fake blond mustache. She gently removed those items from him to make his sleep more comfortable. Frank’s eyelids twitched and he inched closer. Their noses touched briefly, and Luna feared for a moment that she’d woken her sister up.
Frank opened his mouth slightly and hot breath hit her nose. Luna closed her eyes and waited for the inevitable to happen.
*nom*
The next moment Luna got grabbed and pulled closer, combined with something warm and really wet on her face. Opening one eye, she saw him slobbering all over her nose.
“Eh lof yu… yu big ouf...”
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New chapter, a week later than planned. Have some Franklestia!
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My god this was a beautiful chapter. I got so many laughs out of it. Good on ya mate.
you captured wrestle mania perfectly. bravo sir!
4481204
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Awesome chapter!
Wonder what's going to happen with Diamond Tiara at this rate.
work of art
THAT WAS EPIC, BROTHER !!!
It's O.K. I'm sure Sweetie Belle can take care of the sun.
I don't know how Sweetie Belle could possibly not get a cutie mark out of that performance.
Celestia with the alicorn amulet.
I never thought of that.
It's terrifying.
nice chapter, i love anti frank, he was perfect
I love this fic so much, so so sooooo much
...
“I’M GONNA RIP OFF YOUR FACE AND WEAR IT TO THE UGLY BALL!”
Were you channeling Krieg there?Absolutely Serious i read that and heard Kriegs voice.
4481204 My good sir, you have successfully captured my attention fullon. Thus, I give you sign of my appreciation.
God I love this story! Still curious how the whole 'Frank getting revealed as Frank' is going to play out.
4481618
Either life changing epiphany...or Nightmare Bully.
YES, SOARINFIRE IS BEST SHIP.
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I...NEED...MOAR
Don't give up, Diamond! You can still win!
so.Much.WIN.
I like Twilight Sparkle's reaction.
4483339
I had a mental boner of epicness throughout this whole chapter!
No words, just this:
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4481204 t2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQbCMgGSKa-upL0L2ez8d3yh3uC73T98HtOCG12_bSVW72dxjubig
...Blueblood is mentally challenged?
4500025
Frank realized that in an earlier chapter... did you forget Pinkie?
I am not by any means a believer in Tyrantlestia, but if Princess Celestia ever makes it back into her own body, Frank is going to be very lucky if he just gets sent to the moon.
In other words, this story is hilariously cringe-inducing. Keep writing!
4504765
With what has happened during this story, I don't doubt there will be a scene where they realize who frank really is, and he probably gets ejected out of celestia's self (encompassing her mind, soul, etc..., insert some other existential fact I'm missing here), and after a few yelling matches and the like, he goes on to doing a tear jerking speech which eventually convinces everypony and everybody on why he did it, mgiht explain a bit about his life, and he'll probably get sent back to his world with either being able to visit that world in his own body, either using celestia as a medium (letting him possess her once in a while cus reasons), or only to be able to use some sort of rudimentary video phone magi-tech like system to talk to them; but unless im jinxing it, he might get sent back and completely and forever barred from contact and existence in equestria ever, or they'll hate his face and punish him somehow, but with the rating as it is on this story, I doubt it (unless the author adds on a sad and dark tag to this story, because of the end scenes if they end up like I described)
4526778
Deine Vermutung ist richtig.
Ich versuche die Stimmung so gut es geht zu balancieren um nicht in eine Richtung abzudriften (Das klappt mal mehr, mal weniger wie du merken wirst.
)
4527292
I choose that name because it sounded good (I hate that anon shit
).
The character you are talking about comes from Dead Rising. It became almost a running gag in the comment section to ask that.
4483186 Or maybe psychopathic face stealing Optimus Prime. Why do you think all those autobots disappear between movies?
4531205
I assume you sit in germany too. Gema is a bitch, blocking most music videos on youtube. I added another link that works also in germany.
4532631 is frank going to adopt scootaloo?
tell me in a pm
4527326 Ich antworte mal in Deutsch.
Das ist ne richtig gute Geschichte, hoffe wircklich du treibst das ne Weile weiter. Das mit dem ewigen Anon Anon ist auch nicht so meins, ich glaube das bedeuted auch nur das man seinen eigenen Namen da einsetzen könnte wenn man lustig ist oder? im Prinzip ist das ja kein Name wenn ich das mitlerweile richtig erfasst habe.^^
Ich habe Blueblood vorher ja nur gehasst aber das du ihn einfach mal zum Teil behindert machst, finde ich richtig gut
keine ahnung wie sich das vielleicht anhört, aber ich hab da irgendwie was für übrig in Fehrnsehbeiträgen, Geschichten oder sonst wo, bin aber keiner von denen, welche die "Behinderten" mit unangenehmen Mitleid überschüttet.
Was ich grad von Rainbow halten soll weiß ich nicht.
PS: Eine Frage hätte ich schon noch, ich habe nicht unbedingt bemerkt, warum Rarity (vielleicht überempfindlich) und Fluttershy sauer auf Frank waren, denen hat er direkt doch nichts angetan oder? Und was Apllejack für ein Problem hatte habe ich auch nicht verstanden, aber ich vermute das Blackmailing ding. Abgesehen davon weis ich nicht warum Applejack so gegen das Hoofball match war, vielleicht auch einfach so weils zur Geschichte passte
Ich weis nicht wie da einer drauf kam das Scootalo adoptiert werden soll, aber auch sowas fänd ich gut. Vielleicht kommt ja sogar einer von Diamond oder Silverspoons Eltern in den Knast oder sowas und die brauchen ein neues zu Hause plus für Diamond Tiara,ne ordtliche Gruseshow von Luna und Tiara um die Hirnschäden reparieren zu lassn.
Ja Silverspoon mochte ich irgendwie schon immer ein wenig, Diamond durch einige fanfics, bei denen sie ihre eigene Medizin schlucken muss oder so. So jetzt ist erstmal gut^^
This story is even better than i could have guessed. I am loving it. I look forward to reading more.
(Comments before reading the fanfiction's first chapter) let's see, we have over 70,000 words, a human-Celestia soul swap, and judging from the description, it sounds like the human is a prankster type. 50 bits say this is going to either be very good or very disappointing.
4836830
Let me know to what conclusion you came.
4838684 so far, I'm thinking anyone that was willing to bet against me on that owes me 50 bits, because it appears to be very good. Too bad I have no idea what that actually converts to.
4838689
That's nice to hear.
The next chapter should be out soon. I'm currently asking around to find a new editor/proofreader.
At first I thought this story was nothing but crap like so many others stories. I was instead surprised by how many times I laughed at this, and kept laughing. Every time it gets just a little boring, right when I'm about to leave it, I laugh again and keep reading. I hope this ends on one really good note with like the real Tia coming back, this Tia getting a color change(Molestia for fun?) so she(he?) looks different from the real one, and Luna X Tia(this one). That would be the BEST!
4839027 I'm looking to become an editor for some people who understand that I'm new to it and have a story that I feel is worth my time.
4841070
I knew the phrase, but wasn't aware that there is an actual song
Got me a laugh. Thank you
4843300 I wasn't aware of either until someone referenced them together intentionally and blatantly.
Although actually, I think there are two songs here. One might be a remix of the other, but the one I'm familiar with is
this seems to be the better known one, judging by the results I get on Google.
4850328 thanks, but i think someone had already told me that, sometimes i don´t take my time and miss some things.
Personally, I prefer Macho Man.
Well, I fear Celestia might start to copyright all the cool stuff she did to get money.
Since the link in the story is dead due to youtube being silly, I give you...
pensé que saldría trollestia