• Published 6th Jan 2014
  • 20,340 Views, 948 Comments

Rise of Sunbutt the Awesome - BobAlcove

Princess Celestia is the paragon of everything good and pure. And currently not available. Hi my name is Frank, the new guy in charge of this body and I'm here to fulfill all your princess needs. At least until I find something better to do.

  • ...

Hi my name is...

Hectic and active: That's how you would describe the regular mornings in Canterlot Castle, but today's hustle and bustle was without equal. Everywhere you could see servants and maids running through the halls moving trays while royal guards in armor from the night and day shifts transported crates and boxes. Even some ponies from outside the castle had been brought in and paid to share the workload.

And all of them were screaming and bumping into each other while performing their assigned tasks.

In the midst of all this were two individuals.

One towered over all of them, casually strolling through the masses who parted like a curtain to make space for the new arrival.

The second one, who was only as tall as everypony else, didn't get this much courtesy from the staff and had to squeeze through. This made it difficult to keep up their conversation.

“I want everything the royal kitchen has to offer prepared as soon as possible.”

“Yes, your Highness.”

“And I mean everything. If it is edible, drinkable, or digestible in any other form, put it on a platter and send it on it's way.”

“...uh...understood, your Highness.”

“This reminds me, send some servants out to the local market, and buy every drop of booze there is and bring that too.”

“Princess, this would be quite the investment, the local stock on alcohol provides for the whole province. Where should the funds come from?”

“I don't care how you do it. Raid the treasury if you must, but get it done!”

“Yes, your Highness!”

“Wonderful. Now, get moving! Chop chop!”

The tall figure, a white alicorn with a sun cutie mark, watched the smaller, brown unicorn mare with a clipboard cutie mark running through the hallway as fast as she could.

Princess Celestia was the name that the wise and benevolent alicorn was known under, but unfortunately the mind that occupied the body right now went under a different name, and he wasn't especially wise, or benevolent for that matter. Some people in the past may have even called him a worthless waste of space, and he couldn't blame them for doing so. He never had accomplished much in his young life.

His name was Frank West, a twenty-three year old storage clerk from earth and currently in possession of the body of Princess Celestia.

A few hours earlier...

“...and that's the reason it is important to reallocate more funds to...”

Frank stirred with his eyes closed, slowly shifting his body. Did he fall asleep on the sofa while watching TV again?

“...the Everfree is getting more dangerous every day and soon...”

His head seemed to be resting on his left hand, but for some reason he didn't feel his fingers.

“...we consider the use of the Elements of Harmony to prevent...”

At this he perked up a little bit. This made sense to him. He'd had a little pony marathon again and had dozed off halfway through.

Frank leaned back and stretched himself out to get the feeling back in his fingers and toes, which must have gone numb. Halfway through a hearty yawn and smacking his lips, he noticed that there wasn't any more noise coming from the TV.

Slowly and blearily, he opened one eye to check what was wrong and froze, his breath caught in his throat.

What he saw after his sight cleared was two dozen ponies staring up at him. Not normal ones, but the cartoon kind that he as a brony was so familiar with. They sat at two large tables, facing him.

From what Frank could tell, he was in a large, medieval looking throne room with a white marble floor and a ridiculous high ceiling.

Turning his head slightly to the left and to the right, he could also see two bigger looking ponies in golden armor flanking him and who had their heads turned to him with the same look of puzzlement.

He jerked when someone spoke near him.

“Your Highness, is everything alright?”

Beside Frank stood a mare with a brown coat and a yellow mane put into a bun.

“And you are?” he said in a very feminine sounding voice, which caused him to pause.

The mare, confused by this, was silent for a few seconds before she answered him, her voice shaky, and pointed at her cutie mark, which depicted a clipboard with check marks.

“I'm Trusty Schedule, your Highness. You hired me as your new secretary last week after the old one, Miss Inkwell, retired. Are you feeling unwell, Princess?”

She stepped closer, but at that moment Frank caught sight of his reflection in one of the windows. Staring back at him was none other than Princess Celestia, sitting on a throne, one eye closed and mouth open, gaping like a idiot.

He quickly looked away from the window and back again and then away and back yet again. All the while he was moving his hooves and bopping his head to see if the reflection would to the same.

It did.

The whole audience gasped as he jumped off of the throne and started shaking his butt.

Trusty and the rest of the morning council couldn't believe it. This was Princess Celestia, the paragon of nobility and dignity, behaving like a little school filly. Dancing, jumping, and rolling around on the floor, only stopping to address the baffled crowd.

“I'm a pretty pony princess, aren't I? This is an amazing dream!” Frank said.

Nobody could make heads and tails out of that statement but nonetheless started to whisper among themselves. And Trusty, not sure what to do, turned to the audience and tried to disarm the situation.

“Fellow council members, I think our princess is feeling a little under the weather today,” Trusty said, positioning herself in front of Frank, who had started doing tricks.

“Look, I can do a hand...erm, hoofstand! Are you looking!?”

“...Um, I suggest we postpone morning court until further notice,” Trusty said and glanced back to the princess.

“Why is nobody looking? Okay, boss tier: One hoof...*bonk*...ah, my head. The pain...it hurts! Why does it hurt?”

“....Yeah, until further notice....”

The throne room emptied fast, the ponies almost trampling each other. Even the guards were gone, leaving Trusty and Frank alone in the room. Frank was still lying on the floor, rubbing his head. The blow brought his excitement down again and revealed a truth to him that he wasn't sure how to handle right now.

This was no dream. The aching bruise on his head stood testament to that.

The situation he was in right now brought so many revelations to him that he had difficulties deciding where to start.

Equestria exists. He wasn't in his world anymore, and he had no idea why. Heck, he wasn't human anymore, and instead of turning into some background pony nobody knows or even one of the Mane six, Frank had turned into one of the most powerful beings in the fandom: Princess Celestia, the big cheese of this nation that everyone bowed their head to.

He shortly mourned all that was lost to him from now on, which wasn't much if he was honest with himself. A boring job, an estranged family that he rarely saw outside birthdays and holidays, a single apartment, barely any savings to get by on, and no girlfriend, not since his last relationship went to hell.

Frank didn't hate his life, he was more or less content with it, but he also didn't find it all too hard to get comfortable with the idea of a fresh start.

And what could be a better start than as Princess Celestia from My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, one of his favorite franchises?

Maybe Superman. Bitches love Superman.

Not being male anymore sucked, but Frank was positive that he could manage without little Frank. He didn't get to see much action these days anyway.

After what seemed an eternity for Trusty, standing there and watching her princess laying on her back, Frank finally moved.

“The Pros outweigh the Cons by a landslide,” Frank mumbled to himself and got on his hooves.

“Your Highness?”

“Say, Trusty was your name, right?” Frank said, slowly turning to her.

“Yes, your Highness. Trusty Schedule, your new secretary.”

Frank smiled at Trusty, but it was not the regal, benevolent smile she was used to, it was more like a full-blown, toothy grin from one ear to the other. “Well then, Trusty, escort me to my chambers, and make notes while we walk, I want a lot of things done today. I have something to celebrate!”

A short time later...

The Canterlot Market was a busy place of commerce. Ponies, griffins, zebras, and even one or two dragons, as well as all the other civilized races from all over the world came to trade their goods in the golden capitol of Equestria.

There was a sea of stalls and booths lining the streets. Some were made from wood and some from metal. Some were luxurious and some were shabby. All of them were occupied by traders, all of which were trying to get their goods sold.

One of these traders was Iron Brew, a minotaur from Minos. He came to Canterlot to sell his well-appointed line of hard liquor, but, to his displeasure, he wasn't doing very well. Most ponies couldn't handle much alcohol, and those who could came few and far in-between.

His cousin warned him that the pony folk were too prissy for his beverages, but he didn't believe him at the time and was confident in his product. Now he stood there after all the trouble of importing it to Canterlot, and he had nothing to show for it.

He was tempted to just pack up and call it quits when he heard a commotion from the direction of the castle coming closer. Iron Brew climbed up on one of his barrels of Minos Whiskey to better be able to see what the hubbub was all about.

He spotted a huge procession of ponies coming from the castle, some in servant outfits, though most were clad in armor. He couldn't count them because of the sheer number of ponies. Row after row, they flooded the market, going from booth to booth and leaving some of the traders happily crying and hooting in joy.

Iron Brew got off of his barrel as two dozen guards stopped at his booth.

“Good day to you, sir. My name is Sergeant Steelhoof. May I ask what it is you're selling here?” the most posh looking guard, a unicorn, said in a neutral tone.

“Well, if you look closely, lad, you can see and smell that I sell only the hardest liquor this side of Equis. Strong enough to burn your little nose hairs off,” Iron Brew said, his tone mocking.

The sergeant looked over the forty barrels standing behind the minotaur and frowned. “Is that all, or do you have more elsewhere?”

Iron Brew snorted loudly. “Well, lad, I came with a huge shipment from Minos with close to a thousand barrels and had to rent a bloody warehouse outside town. What do you think, Sergeant?”

The sergeant's left eye twitched slightly before he turned to his comrades and told them something that the minotaur couldn't hear; but it didn't seem to be anything good as they all groaned and looked at Iron Brew, glaring as if they hoped that his head would explode if they stared hard enough.

Iron Brew had started becoming a little nervous when the sergeant suddenly turned back to him, and all the other guards walked past him to the barrels.

“Is there a problem, lad?”

“We'll take it!”

A large chest levitated from where the guards had been standing, settling in the air between the sergeant and the minotaur. Steelhoof opened it, and Iron Brew could see that it was filled to the brim with bits. A small fortune floating right before his eyes.

“This should cover the barrels you have here. Please, escort my guards to your warehouse to get the rest, and I will come back shortly with another thirty or so chests.”

“Are you serious?” Iron Brew said skeptically.

“Note serious face,” Sergeant Steelhoof replied, pointing at himself. “On decree of Princess Celestia, we are hereby ordered to acquire every drop of alcoholic substance for her personal consumption, no matter the price.”

Iron Brew was speechless. He just started walking, not saying a word, and shortly three dozen guards followed him. Soon he realized that he wouldn't have to work for another day in his life.

Halfway to the warehouse, he joined the ones who cried and hooted in joy this day.

Later, at Canterlot Castle...

Trusty was running through the corridors of Canterlot Castle, determined to reach the chamber of the princess as fast as possible. On her way she passed the bustling masses who still filled the hallways. They carried the last wave of trays, boxes, bottles, barrels, and carts filled with food and beverages.

Finally, she arrived at the large, ornate door that bore the symbol of the sun, which, to her surprise, had a smiling face drawn onto it, much like the doodles a school filly might draw in her textbook.

Deciding to ignore it for now, she knocked three times and entered the chamber just in time to catch the last bit of a conversation between her princess and a gruff-looking stallion in a yellow construction hat.

“Please, Princess, this is unreasonable. We are ordinary construction workers, this is beyond our capabilities.”

On the table were blueprints, rough sketches, and some crude looking doodles drawn with pink crayon. As Trusty got closer, she recognized that some of them depicted things like swimming pools, cinemas, saunas, a pair of tennis courts, a mini- and normal golf court, a petting zoo, and statues.

Lots and lots of statues, all looking like the princess in poses varying from her usual regal posture to the downright impossible and silly looking.

“I don't think ponies can bend that way,” Trusty said, looking at one sketch in particular featuring Princess Celestia, a blush beginning to creep up her face.

Hearing this, Frank turned around and again smiled in a way that gave Trusty the creeps. “Ah, my assistant helper pony. Welcome, Trundy.”

“Um, actually, my name is Trusty, your Highness.”

Frank tapped his chin. “That doesn't sound right. From now on your name is Trundy, and get it legally changed as soon as possible!”

“You can decide that?” Trusty said, gawking at Frank, who shrugged.

“Heck if I know, but what brings you here, Trundy?”

Taking a deep breath, she took her clipboard out of her saddlebag and cleared her throat before starting her report. “Your Highness, I am here to tell you that the preparations have been completed and that everything has been brought to the big gala room for your inspection.”

This news filled Frank with glee, and he looked at the clock on the wall, which told him that it was two in the afternoon. “Wonderful, simply wonderful. Well then, let's not waste time and escort me to the gala room.”

Frank happily strutted outside the chamber, but then his head reappeared in the open door, looking at the gruff-looking stallion in the yellow hard hat.

“And you will get started on these plans. I don't care how much it will cost, but make it happen. Understood?”

“Yes, your Highness!” the stallion said while saluting.

“Excellent. Trusty, are you coming?”

“I thought my name was Trundy, your Highness.”

“Learn to take a joke. Sheesh, nobody has sense of humor around here!”

Trusty followed the princess and escorted her to the large gala room across the castle grounds. Every pony they passed was either petrified in awe or tried to get out of the way as fast as possible in order to avoid hindering them. This was something Frank found simply hilarious, and he had a lot of fun chasing some of them down the hallway screaming, “Booga booga.”

But eventually they arrived at the gala room, the large entrance to which was flanked by two guards who saluted as soon they made eye contact with them.

Not even stopping to say hello, Frank rushed inside with Trusty right behind him who came to a sudden stop when she bumped into the now stock-still alicorn.

Before Frank was the most beautiful sight of his entire life.

Row after row of tables filled with food of every variety. Soups, salads, every form of appetizer, a whole segment filled with pies and cakes, a large chocolate fountain with a life-sized Princess Celestia ice sculpture, hundreds of bowls filled with cooked vegetables, a fruit bar, and a large champagne tower that almost reached the ceiling, flanked by iced buckets full of assorted bottles of alcoholic beverages.

Speaking of booze, every inch of the four walls were blocked by stacked barrels of what Frank assumed was hard liquor. For that reason no sunlight came through the large stained glass windows anymore, so they had been forced to light up the large chandeliers.

“Princess Celestia, are you crying?” Trusty asked, looking at the glossy eyes of the alicorn.

Frank, no longer able to contain himself, wiped tears out of his eyes with his hoof as he spoke.

“This is so beautiful!”

And Trusty had to agree. This was a catering masterpiece like none that had come before it. Not even the Grand Galloping Gala or the recent coronation of Princess Twilight Sparkle could compare to the magnitude of this feast.

“Yes, your Highness, it is quite the accomplishment of the castle staff and the Royal Guard, but may I ask when the guests for this spontaneous banquet will arrive? I have no knowledge of visitors of such importance.”

“Oh, this is all for me, Trusty,” Frank said, sniffing on a tray of freshly baked muffins.

The clipboard Trusty was holding slipped out of her magic's grasp.

“Beg your pardon, Princess?”

“This here is a present from me to myself, so please close the door on your way out and make sure that nobody bothers me until I say so.”

And without further warning, Trusty was shoved out and the door slammed shut behind her. She sat there dumbfounded between the two guards who looked equally puzzled but shrugged it off after a while and continued staring stoically ahead.

In the meantime, inside of the lavishly filled gala room, Frank was sitting on his haunches fighting with his golden slippers, trying to pry them off his hooves.

They looked good and seemed fitting for a princess; nonetheless, they were driving Frank crazy due to how uncomfortable they were. Getting them off by kicking, he let them fly all over the room. One went right into the champagne glass tower, making it collapse loudly into itself.

“Well, shit... Ah, no matter, don't like champagne anyway,” Frank said, tossing his crown and golden necklace off, but more gently this time. “Let's see, where to begin?”

His gaze fell on a table situated slightly away from the rest. Unlike the others, all plates were covered up with fancy silver covers. There was no handle on the covers to lift them up. Frank tried to clamp down on one with his hooves but the silverware was too slippery. He tried shoving it open with his snout when his large horn clanked against it. It took a second, but then it clicked inside his mind.

“Oh right, magic. How silly of me,” Frank said to himself.

He assumed that having the body of a magical alicorn, he should also have the magical powers of an alicorn, but, of course, Frank had no idea how to use it.

He focused very hard on the nearest silver tray, glaring down at it with narrowed eyes. Telling the tray to move in his thoughts didn't work. Neither did several head motions and twirls of his horn.

“Oh, come on, do something!” Frank yelled after two dozen tries before dropping to the floor.

This couldn't be so hard. Frank had seen ponies doing it in the show all the time. All they did was light their horn up and the things would move from one point to another. Like this barrel by the wall to his left should easily float up and levitate from there to the right.

And Frank's astonishment it did, right then and there. Perplexed, he imagined the barrel moving again, this time from right to left.

And it moved again.

“Wow, is it really that simple? Just visualize the motion?”

Getting really excited, he then visualized a laser coming from his horn, obliterating the barrel.

And it happened in a glorious display of blinding light and the sound of splintering wood, showering him with splinters and alcoholic liquid.

Frank was excited before, but now he was downright euphoric, blasting things and throwing stuff around.

“Behold the might of Sunbutt the destroyer,” roared Frank, taking aim at the giant ice sculpture of himself, melting it and flooding the beverage table.

Speaking of beverages, he felt parched and approached one of the punch bowls. Not feeling the need to be elegant, he stuck his whole head into the bowl and took huge gulps. Reemerging, he belched loudly after smacking his lips.

“Not bad, quite tasty, but it lacks a certain kick. Hmm, maybe...” Frank said, looking at the punch bowl.

It glowed momentary, and he took a cautious sip. The familiar burning of alcohol ran down his throat, making him smile. He had magically spiked the punch!

Ready to down it in one go, he was about to pounce when his stomach growled in protest.

“You're right to be angry with me old friend. Or is it new friend? I am new to this body after all,” Frank said, rubbing his belly. “I should eat something first before drinking myself silly.”

He remembered the table from before his revelation and walked back to it. He saw a card that he had missed before:

Assorted dishes for carnivores, please enjoy with consideration for the herbivore guests.

His eyes went wide, and the lid of the nearest plate literally skyrocketed off of the table, flattening into a disc shape upon contact with the ceiling, and he instantly noticed the heavenly fragrance entering his nostrils, making his mouth water.


Author's Note:

Hello BobAlocove here.

After lurking for two years in the shadows of Fim Fiction I finally decided to throw my own hat in the ring.
And with a human turned X story ain't I original? :)

But jokes aside, I plan this story to be a longer one, so there is dedication from my side.

Tell me what you think, being my first try to write. Criticism is welcome, especially grammar wise with english not being my first language.

EDIT APRIL 3TH 2014: This chapter was edited and proofread by DF and is now much easier to read. Thank you!